It is currently Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:55 am



Reply to topic  [ 28 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
 Balancing Act 
Author Message
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
My Corner: So this was, actually, fairly emotional for me to write. It was kinda a spur of the moment thing, I typed it in here! And I'll leave it up to you guys to figure out what this is about. Feel free to guess! Oh and this is another one shot.

<p align="center">Balancing Act</p>
I stared at it, and stared, and stared. It never seemed to change. Its state, its state was screaming at me to do something. I could practically hear it, this inanimate thing was screaming at me. It was screaming in agony, wondering what it did, wondering why...and how it got to the way it was. Were its care takers too lax, were they not protective enough? No...that wasn't it...it couldn't be. They were trying, they were trying so hard to do what was right. It needed freedom; but, how much was too much?

I'm trying, I'm trying to save you. The thought always resounded in my mind. Some days...some days I just wanted to scream it. I tried to tell myself things would get better. I tried to tell myself its agony would cease eventually...the agony I felt within my heart.

It was like...like I was a living avatar for it. I felt its pain. I felt its frustration. I felt its hate towards those that kept hurting it. I felt it. Was that so strange?

I wanted to cry sometimes, it hurt so much. Does that even make sense? Something that...was inanimate...no, it wasn't even...physical...does it make sense that I could feel it?

I could see it...I could make things change...but the state did not wish to change. No, not wish, it refused to yield. A vice had gripped it, and it would strangle the life out of it. All I could do, was helplessly watch and try to futily do something. But, nothing ever changed.

I'm sorry. I feel like giving up, but I love it so much. I don't think I could live with myself if I gave up though. I don't think I could exist if I let it die without trying to save it. The thing is though, that I don't know if I have what it takes to do anymore. I don't even know if I'm doing any good. For all I know, I could be hurting it more. I could be prolonging its suffering. What should I do?

Do I give up? Do I push harder? Do I try to find the middle? Tell me! It keeps crying. It keeps screaming. It never stops. There's no easy answer, I know that. But, God, I need help! Does anyone else hear it? Is anyone else a living avatar for it? It's in so much pain. I can practically see its wounds. Doesn't anyone else? Of course they do...that's why there are others so panicked...but we're all at a loss. What do we do? What can we do?

Give up or push back...is there even a middle? Is there?

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Last edited by Crimson on Sun Jun 24, 2007 6:53 am, edited 2 times in total.



Sun May 06, 2007 6:05 pm
Profile
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer

Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 1:38 pm
Posts: 277
Post 
Wow. Crimson, that was very good, very powerful. I'm impressed, great use of internal dialogue.

May I ask what it is you're trying to save in it, or is it open to interpretation?

_________________
Image


Tue May 08, 2007 12:21 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
Hee, thanks I was really able to get into it so I'm happy it came across as powerful as it felt when I wrote it. Anywho, it's open for interpretation, I'm curious to see what people think it is about.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Tue May 08, 2007 12:31 pm
Profile
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer

Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 1:38 pm
Posts: 277
Post 
You're welcome :)

I thought personally it was about a relationship that was falling apart.

_________________
Image


Thu May 10, 2007 3:28 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
Interesting guess, I never would have thought of that. I can see where you thought that now but that's not it.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Thu May 10, 2007 5:09 pm
Profile
Dragon Tamer
Dragon Tamer
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 6:21 pm
Posts: 224
Post 
This is great but I think the two last paragraphs are the best


Fri May 11, 2007 12:59 pm
Profile
Trivia Champion
Trivia Champion
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pm
Posts: 3033
Location: clegavel
Post 
First time I've ever actually read one of Crimson's fanfics...This is good, but could I expect any less? As blu-suicune said, great use of internal dialogue (so there is a name for that), and very suspenseful. Although, now it's my turn to point out something:

Crimson wrote:
All I could do, was helplessly watch and try to futily do something. But, nothing ever changed.

The word didn't look right to me so I went to my dictionary, and it wasn't...it should be "futilely". Wow...Crimson made a mistake... :shock:

- DNA

_________________


Fri May 11, 2007 1:16 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
Lol, yes I can make mistakes, and do. That's why I like forums like these and sites like FictionPress.com.

Considering how many stories I have on the forum it always surprises me how few people read them. *shrugs* Oh wellz, it's just one of those things. Anywho, thanks for the comments. Any guesses as to what it's about?

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Fri May 11, 2007 5:37 pm
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:07 pm
Posts: 1130
Location: The Forums official moronic epic fail.
Post 
I thought it was a balance beam that the owners kept using,but not sharing.
You're WAY to good for someone mediocre like me to asess.


Mon May 21, 2007 3:43 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
Nope, that's not what it was about.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Sat May 26, 2007 3:04 pm
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:07 pm
Posts: 1130
Location: The Forums official moronic epic fail.
Post 
Ya I forgot that the thing Wasn't even phiysical. Not to mention I was laking the imagination.


Sun Jun 24, 2007 2:29 am
Profile
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer

Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:48 pm
Posts: 357
Location: Australia
Post 
I thought it was soemthing do with Nature and the world, somewhere along the lines of pollution and sh!t.

So my guess... is...

The World?

_________________
"If I'm flying solo at least I'm flying free,"

www.youtube.com/ThePlastikOne

www.youtube.com/PsychesEntertainment


Sun Jun 24, 2007 7:19 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
Nope, that's not it.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:55 am
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm
Posts: 91
Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
Post hM
Crimson wrote "Give up or push back...is there even a middle? Is there?". I think we should find out what this means and then the answer would be clearer tell me if i'm right . Possibly, probibly maybe, could be?

_________________
<a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a>
__________________________
I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat


Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:33 pm
Profile YIM WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
With the way my mind functions and thinks that line wouldn't help me too much. If a certain line were to be a hint I'd have to say it would be...

Balancing Act wrote:
I'm trying, I'm trying to save you.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:41 pm
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm
Posts: 91
Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
These are the words i found with the same text style: Balancing act, hear, i'm trying, i'm trying to save you, refused, Changed, i'm sorry, live, exist, takes, hurting, Suffering, tell me, never, can. I think if we find a simularity between these we got our answer correct crimson.

_________________
<a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a>
__________________________
I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat


Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:12 pm
Profile YIM WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
The italicized words just indicated an emphasis or internal dialogue. As for the story's title, I always do that. Some people underline, others bold, I italicize. They help set the mood for the perspective piece. I definitly wouldn't say that they all help would you figure it out, some may.

Your thinking way too hard about it. Treecko should definitly be able to guess this along with most people in the forum.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Thu Jun 28, 2007 6:41 am
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm
Posts: 91
Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
It's a house cause were moving our spring hous stuff and were moving to our summer house and to me when the house is enmpty its lonely correct crimson?

_________________
<a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a>
__________________________
I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat


Fri Jun 29, 2007 9:21 am
Profile YIM WWW
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 01, 2007 1:08 pm
Posts: 470
Location: Asheville, North Carolina, USA
Post 
I would say it seems like it's at a yard sale, and someone is selling a plant they might have gotten from a family member, and didn't want it, and didn't take care of it. It would seem to me that it would have to have some life in it, so maybe something like a plant that they didn't take care of very much, and it was in pain because it was dieing. They were selling it for a really high amount, so you didn't know if you wanted to help it.


I DON'T know HOW that got in my mind, my imagination just told me that. :roll: Sounds cheesy when I read it....but yea...most likely not it...


Fri Jun 29, 2007 10:15 am
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm
Posts: 91
Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
Post 
She said inaniment object and contrary to common beliefs tree are alive. So i don't think rhats it

_________________
<a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a>
__________________________
I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat


Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:17 pm
Profile YIM WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
No to both. I later said it wasn't physical.

Edit: Oh and inanimate just means it doesn't move, not that it isn't alive...

And you're all still thinking too hard about it, the answer is staring you right in the face.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:59 pm
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm
Posts: 91
Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
Post rf
Is it love? Boy this is fun (yay) or marriage is it a relationship falling apart, is it a turtle?

_________________
<a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a>
__________________________
I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat


Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:49 pm
Profile YIM WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
No and that's already been said.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:54 am
Profile
Fails at life
Fails at life

Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:07 pm
Posts: 1130
Location: The Forums official moronic epic fail.
Post 
Sorry, my imagination is down but is it...Psypokes?


Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:50 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
Yes, thank god, more specifically about the writing forum. I told you all that you were thinking too hard and that the answer was staring you right in the face.

_________________
Link changed to my library.
Image


Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:22 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 28 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.