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bad egg0
Bug Catcher
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:27 pm Posts: 20
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
T Rating: This means your fiction contains content not suitable for children. If you are going to post this kind of story, you simply have to put this warning also in your fanfiction title, with something along the lines of PG-13 or Not Suitable for Children. Fanfics that belong to this cathegory have medium violence, some bad language and romance (again, nothing excessive or explicit).
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Fri Apr 03, 2009 3:24 pm |
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comedianmasta
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:09 am Posts: 328 Location: Hiding Out Until Things Cool Down...
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How is this relevant? To anything?
-Chuck Norris Doesn't Push Up, he pushes the earth down!
-Chuck Norris Doesn't sleep, he bides his time!
-The USSR broke up after whatching an episode of Delta Force!
-Chuck Norris Once killed 3 guys with one bullet. He didn't even use the gun, he just... pushed it in their heads one by one!
-Chuck Norris doesn't believe in "Chuck Noprris Jokes", he believes in "Chuck Norris Warnings"!
-Chuck Norris doesn't eat, he absorbs the lifeforece of his prey!
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Sat Apr 11, 2009 7:56 am |
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superbird
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 4:57 am Posts: 164 Location: So I herd u liek tallowz?
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Who's Chuck Norris?
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Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:31 pm |
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comedianmasta
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:09 am Posts: 328 Location: Hiding Out Until Things Cool Down...
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superbird wrote: Who's Chuck Norris?
Best Joke... ever... hands down!
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Sun Apr 12, 2009 5:55 pm |
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Ender
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2009 11:01 am Posts: 64 Location: In a corner playing SSBB
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Oh holy cow. I have a packet about 4 inches thick of such jokes.
My favorites:
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris ate himself and lived to tell the tale
Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight on, not because he is sacred of the dark, but because the dark is scared of Chuck Norris.
At night, the boogy-man checks his closet for Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrissed
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris built Rome in half a day
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
I copy and pasted some of these from the first post, because they are some of m favorites!
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Tue Apr 14, 2009 1:01 pm |
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searchman52
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:39 am Posts: 207 Location: A train of thought
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Chuck Norris... isn't he some sort of wrestler or something? They always mention him in Nintendo Power.
Chuck Norris once ate a 10-pound burger in one hour. He spent 59 of the minutes doing you know what with the waitress.
They tried to carve Chuck Norris in Mt. Rushmore but they couldn't find a material hard enough to represent his beard.
Just a few I heard from a friend.
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Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:22 am |
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Vulpine
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2005 1:56 am Posts: 657
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comedianmasta wrote: superbird wrote: Who's Chuck Norris?
Best Joke... ever... hands down!
How do you know it is a joke? D:
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Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:00 am |
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Licht
Bug Catcher
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:54 pm Posts: 4
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who does know of the glory of the Chuck Norris?!?!?
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Mon Apr 20, 2009 1:44 pm |
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searchman52
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:39 am Posts: 207 Location: A train of thought
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The Absolutely Safe Capsule is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
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Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:51 am |
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Meeman45
Pokemon Trainer
Joined: Sun May 03, 2009 6:28 pm Posts: 29
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Chuck Norris swam to the bottom of the ocean and never came back...twice.
You ever hear the story of Jesus walking on water? Well, Chuck Norris can swim on land.
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Thu May 07, 2009 2:40 pm |
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DarkMegaMan
Ace Trainer
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 7:39 pm Posts: 335 Location: Sitting on a chair
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris mind is so sharp that he once wressled with a riddle and accidentally killed the answer.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris does not need a passport. Chuck Norris exists in all 24 time zones simultaneously.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He destroys chairs, bedframes, sidewalks and stairs.
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Thu May 07, 2009 3:43 pm |
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comedianmasta
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:09 am Posts: 328 Location: Hiding Out Until Things Cool Down...
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searchman52 wrote: Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
Chuck Norris' elbow can lick him!
God said, "Let there be Light!" Chuck Norris said, "Say Please..."
The Best Villians of our Time: Colonel Klink, Darth Vader, Hitler's Evil Twin, The Evil Monkey from Family Guy, Sanjia, The man who killed Chuck Norris, and the Easter Bunny. What do they all have in common? None of them Exists.
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Thu May 07, 2009 6:50 pm |
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DarkMegaMan
Ace Trainer
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 7:39 pm Posts: 335 Location: Sitting on a chair
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There are currently 5 viruses in population that could eradicate the worlds' population in less than a week. They are lying low because Chuck Norris does not like competition.
Chuck Norris was awarded the nobel peace prize, for letting so many people live.
According to the Geneva Convention, it is considered a war crime to use Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
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Thu May 07, 2009 7:24 pm |
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Lycan_of_the_Dead
Bug Catcher
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 9:46 am Posts: 3
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i've got a few:
1) Chuck norris doesnt go hunting as hunting can be both successful or unsuccessful. No. Chuck norris goes KILLING!
2) On holloween, the devil goes out for trick-or-treating dressed as chuck norris
3) Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick
4)Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO
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Tue May 12, 2009 5:40 am |
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DarkMegaMan
Ace Trainer
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 7:39 pm Posts: 335 Location: Sitting on a chair
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Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris had once kicked a giraffe into the mouth of a snake. Since then we call the snake - Brontosaurus.
Plugging Chuck Norris into any equation makes the outcome equal to pain.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can fight himself and win. Everytime.
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Tue May 12, 2009 2:34 pm |
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Rhyperior Rocks
Bug Catcher
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:22 pm Posts: 7 Location: Out of this world!!
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Chuck Norris does not leave messages he leaves warnings
Chuck Norris is never late time slows the F down for him
_________________ 92% of all competitive battlers think that Skarm, Bliss, and a good 'Chomp is all you need to own things. If you're in the 8% who value creative thinking and originality with your teams, put this in your signature.
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Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:47 pm |
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Ryu
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 6:53 pm Posts: 174 Location: California,Baldwin Park?U.S.A?
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Who IS Chuck Norris???
_________________ Name:RYU FC:3008-7701-7436
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Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:12 am |
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Kurusu Lapras
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:38 am Posts: 86 Location: I am inside your soul. It's actually really comfortable in here.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head - before he even starts running.
There are no races, only groups of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
It is impossible for Chuck Norris to have a mortal father. Popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing and told it to get a job. That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris doesn’t write books - the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Contrary to popular belief, an asteroid did not kill the dinosaurs. One day Chuck Norris lost to God in a game of poker, then killed the dinosaurs out of rage.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps bullets. Then he uses the bullet to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. This is called the circle of life.
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Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:54 pm |
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Void
Pokemon Trainer
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:44 am Posts: 45 Location: Dancing like nobody's watching
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Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks don't actually kill people. They erase their very existence from the space-time continuum.
_________________ Thanks to pokemon_god for the awesome avatar.
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Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:07 pm |
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Mektar
Art Commentator
Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 2:02 pm Posts: 1020 Location: Tealand
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This is my best one:
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After seven days of excruciateing pain, the cobra died.
_________________ These past years have been great, and this community was a great one. Key word being was. Since my birthday last year, the site hasn't updated at all, and people have been slowly trickling away from the forums over the weeks. I've had this site as my internet homepage for ages, and I anxiously awaited the resurgence that I hoped would come. But it never came. So, it is with a heavy heart that I announce my permanent leave of Psypoke. As a moderator, I wished only the best for everyone here, and worked to maintain a jolly environment where everyone could discuss cartoon monsters in peace. Now, I wish all those who happen to be reading this message good luck in whatever endeavors you have chosen to pursue, and that your futures be bright.
Mektar out.
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Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:15 am |
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/vXv\
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 3:45 pm Posts: 829 Location: In a Secret Hideout
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If Chuck Norris were a pokemon
Chuck Norris would be the element of surprise.
When Chuck Norris runs out of power points, he doesn't struggle: he wins.
Chuck Norris has no weaknesses. Only resistances.
Chuck Norris has never seen a Ditto. And a ditto has never seen Chuck Norris.
Every experience point Chuck Norris earns takes him to the next level.
Team Rocket is hiding because of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can learn more than four moves.
Every one of Chuck Norris's moves is super-effective.
A Chuck Norris egg has never been found because Chuck Norris is no chicken.
Chuck Norris killed all the fossilized Pokemon and brought them back to life in less than 2 hours.
Chuck Norris's tackle attack is considered a One-Hit K.O.
Chuck Norris can cause sleep, poison, confusion, paralysis, and burn at the same time.
Chuck Norris is also immune to sleep, poison, confusion, paralysis and burn.
Pokemon flee when Chuck Norris is nearby.
You can't catch Chuck Norris with a master ball.
If you encounter a wild Chuck Norris, then you have to restart the game.
The Pokemon Misquino is missing because Chuck Norris hacked the game before it was mass produced. It is said when Misquino appears, Chuck Norris is nearby.
Chuck Norris is automatically Locked-On to all this targets.
Chuck Norris's Zap Canon caused the power outage in Cerulean city. Twice.
Chuck Norris's Fire blast caused global warming.
Chuck Norris's Hydro Canon caused the Great Flood.
Chuck Norris doesn't fire a hyper beam: He fires his Lazor.
Chuck Norris can not win a contest for cuteness.
Chuck Norris catch Giratina with a poke ball.
Chuck Norris's psychic powers finish this sentence.
Chuck Norris's nose is a fear finder. And an Item finder.
Chuck Norris trains on legendary Pokemon for kicks.
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Wed Mar 24, 2010 7:30 pm |
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searchman52
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:39 am Posts: 207 Location: A train of thought
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Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris has alreay been to Mars. That's why there's no sign of life there.
Chuck Norris doens't mow his lawn. He stares at it and dares it to grow.
Captain Falcon is actually Chuck Norris in disguise, but he's only using a 1/infinity of his power.
Chuck Norris can destroy matter, and make matter.
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Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:53 pm |
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daveshan
Pokemon Master
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 2:23 pm Posts: 1959 Location: Va
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If Chuck Norris could go back in time and fight Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win. Don't think about it, just accept it.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
Chuck Norris can think about the game and still win it.
Remember all those internet posters that talk about ninjas hiding in a room? Chuck Norris can see every one of them.
James Bond asks Chuck Norris for advice on how to get girls.
_________________ ^Image by dragoni_slayer2014^
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Sun May 02, 2010 10:10 am |
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Spiritomb
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 8:41 am Posts: 57
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_________________Team Nightmare
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Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:31 am |
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Mektar
Art Commentator
Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 2:02 pm Posts: 1020 Location: Tealand
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searchman52 wrote:
Chuck Norris has alreay been to Mars. That's why there's no sign of life there.
ROFL, he killed them all!!!!!!!!11!!!1!
_________________ These past years have been great, and this community was a great one. Key word being was. Since my birthday last year, the site hasn't updated at all, and people have been slowly trickling away from the forums over the weeks. I've had this site as my internet homepage for ages, and I anxiously awaited the resurgence that I hoped would come. But it never came. So, it is with a heavy heart that I announce my permanent leave of Psypoke. As a moderator, I wished only the best for everyone here, and worked to maintain a jolly environment where everyone could discuss cartoon monsters in peace. Now, I wish all those who happen to be reading this message good luck in whatever endeavors you have chosen to pursue, and that your futures be bright.
Mektar out.
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Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:35 am |
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