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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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My Corner: So this was, actually, fairly emotional for me to write. It was kinda a spur of the moment thing, I typed it in here! And I'll leave it up to you guys to figure out what this is about. Feel free to guess! Oh and this is another one shot.
<p align="center">Balancing Act</p>
I stared at it, and stared, and stared. It never seemed to change. Its state, its state was screaming at me to do something. I could practically hear it, this inanimate thing was screaming at me. It was screaming in agony, wondering what it did, wondering why...and how it got to the way it was. Were its care takers too lax, were they not protective enough? No...that wasn't it...it couldn't be. They were trying, they were trying so hard to do what was right. It needed freedom; but, how much was too much?
I'm trying, I'm trying to save you. The thought always resounded in my mind. Some days...some days I just wanted to scream it. I tried to tell myself things would get better. I tried to tell myself its agony would cease eventually...the agony I felt within my heart.
It was like...like I was a living avatar for it. I felt its pain. I felt its frustration. I felt its hate towards those that kept hurting it. I felt it. Was that so strange?
I wanted to cry sometimes, it hurt so much. Does that even make sense? Something that...was inanimate...no, it wasn't even...physical...does it make sense that I could feel it?
I could see it...I could make things change...but the state did not wish to change. No, not wish, it refused to yield. A vice had gripped it, and it would strangle the life out of it. All I could do, was helplessly watch and try to futily do something. But, nothing ever changed.
I'm sorry. I feel like giving up, but I love it so much. I don't think I could live with myself if I gave up though. I don't think I could exist if I let it die without trying to save it. The thing is though, that I don't know if I have what it takes to do anymore. I don't even know if I'm doing any good. For all I know, I could be hurting it more. I could be prolonging its suffering. What should I do?
Do I give up? Do I push harder? Do I try to find the middle? Tell me! It keeps crying. It keeps screaming. It never stops. There's no easy answer, I know that. But, God, I need help! Does anyone else hear it? Is anyone else a living avatar for it? It's in so much pain. I can practically see its wounds. Doesn't anyone else? Of course they do...that's why there are others so panicked...but we're all at a loss. What do we do? What can we do?
Give up or push back...is there even a middle? Is there?
_________________Link changed to my library.
Last edited by Crimson on Sun Jun 24, 2007 6:53 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Sun May 06, 2007 6:05 pm |
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blu-suicune
Ace Trainer
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 1:38 pm Posts: 277
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Wow. Crimson, that was very good, very powerful. I'm impressed, great use of internal dialogue.
May I ask what it is you're trying to save in it, or is it open to interpretation?
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Tue May 08, 2007 12:21 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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Hee, thanks I was really able to get into it so I'm happy it came across as powerful as it felt when I wrote it. Anywho, it's open for interpretation, I'm curious to see what people think it is about.
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Tue May 08, 2007 12:31 pm |
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blu-suicune
Ace Trainer
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 1:38 pm Posts: 277
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You're welcome
I thought personally it was about a relationship that was falling apart.
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Thu May 10, 2007 3:28 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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Interesting guess, I never would have thought of that. I can see where you thought that now but that's not it.
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Thu May 10, 2007 5:09 pm |
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EXP
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 6:21 pm Posts: 224
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This is great but I think the two last paragraphs are the best
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Fri May 11, 2007 12:59 pm |
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DNA
Trivia Champion
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pm Posts: 3170 Location: clegavel
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First time I've ever actually read one of Crimson's fanfics...This is good, but could I expect any less? As blu-suicune said, great use of internal dialogue (so there is a name for that), and very suspenseful. Although, now it's my turn to point out something:
Crimson wrote: All I could do, was helplessly watch and try to futily do something. But, nothing ever changed.
The word didn't look right to me so I went to my dictionary, and it wasn't...it should be "futilely". Wow...Crimson made a mistake...
- DNA
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Fri May 11, 2007 1:16 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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Lol, yes I can make mistakes, and do. That's why I like forums like these and sites like FictionPress.com.
Considering how many stories I have on the forum it always surprises me how few people read them. *shrugs* Oh wellz, it's just one of those things. Anywho, thanks for the comments. Any guesses as to what it's about?
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Fri May 11, 2007 5:37 pm |
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Treeckomaster
Fails at life
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:07 pm Posts: 1130 Location: The Forums official moronic epic fail.
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I thought it was a balance beam that the owners kept using,but not sharing.
You're WAY to good for someone mediocre like me to asess.
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Mon May 21, 2007 3:43 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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Nope, that's not what it was about.
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Sat May 26, 2007 3:04 pm |
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Treeckomaster
Fails at life
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:07 pm Posts: 1130 Location: The Forums official moronic epic fail.
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Ya I forgot that the thing Wasn't even phiysical. Not to mention I was laking the imagination.
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Sun Jun 24, 2007 2:29 am |
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Psyches
Ace Trainer
Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:48 pm Posts: 359 Location: Australia
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I thought it was soemthing do with Nature and the world, somewhere along the lines of pollution and sh!t.
So my guess... is...
The World?
_________________ "If I'm flying solo at least I'm flying free,"
www.youtube.com/ThePlastikOne
www.youtube.com/PsychesEntertainment
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Sun Jun 24, 2007 7:19 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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Nope, that's not it.
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:55 am |
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sparky the wonder monkey
Fails at life
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm Posts: 91 Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
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Crimson wrote "Give up or push back...is there even a middle? Is there?". I think we should find out what this means and then the answer would be clearer tell me if i'm right . Possibly, probibly maybe, could be?
_________________ <a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a> __________________________ I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat
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Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:33 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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With the way my mind functions and thinks that line wouldn't help me too much. If a certain line were to be a hint I'd have to say it would be...
Balancing Act wrote: I'm trying, I'm trying to save you.
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Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:41 pm |
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sparky the wonder monkey
Fails at life
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm Posts: 91 Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
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These are the words i found with the same text style: Balancing act, hear, i'm trying, i'm trying to save you, refused, Changed, i'm sorry, live, exist, takes, hurting, Suffering, tell me, never, can. I think if we find a simularity between these we got our answer correct crimson.
_________________ <a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a> __________________________ I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat
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Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:12 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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The italicized words just indicated an emphasis or internal dialogue. As for the story's title, I always do that. Some people underline, others bold, I italicize. They help set the mood for the perspective piece. I definitly wouldn't say that they all help would you figure it out, some may.
Your thinking way too hard about it. Treecko should definitly be able to guess this along with most people in the forum.
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Thu Jun 28, 2007 6:41 am |
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sparky the wonder monkey
Fails at life
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm Posts: 91 Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
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It's a house cause were moving our spring hous stuff and were moving to our summer house and to me when the house is enmpty its lonely correct crimson?
_________________ <a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a> __________________________ I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat
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Fri Jun 29, 2007 9:21 am |
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Tragar
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue May 01, 2007 1:08 pm Posts: 470 Location: Asheville, North Carolina, USA
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I would say it seems like it's at a yard sale, and someone is selling a plant they might have gotten from a family member, and didn't want it, and didn't take care of it. It would seem to me that it would have to have some life in it, so maybe something like a plant that they didn't take care of very much, and it was in pain because it was dieing. They were selling it for a really high amount, so you didn't know if you wanted to help it.
I DON'T know HOW that got in my mind, my imagination just told me that. :roll: Sounds cheesy when I read it....but yea...most likely not it...
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Fri Jun 29, 2007 10:15 am |
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sparky the wonder monkey
Fails at life
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm Posts: 91 Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
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She said inaniment object and contrary to common beliefs tree are alive. So i don't think rhats it
_________________ <a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a> __________________________ I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat
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Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:17 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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No to both. I later said it wasn't physical.
Edit: Oh and inanimate just means it doesn't move, not that it isn't alive...
And you're all still thinking too hard about it, the answer is staring you right in the face.
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:59 pm |
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sparky the wonder monkey
Fails at life
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:10 pm Posts: 91 Location: i just saved a bunch money on my car insurance by switching to treeko
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Is it love? Boy this is fun (yay) or marriage is it a relationship falling apart, is it a turtle?
_________________ <a><img src="http://glittermaker.nuclearcentury.com/keep/dhRxfDCNIN.gif" width="501" height="39" border="0" alt="http://www.nuclearcentury.com/ - Glitter Maker"></a> __________________________ I think i can fly, i think i can fly, i know i can fly WHOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!! .....splat
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Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:49 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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No and that's already been said.
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Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:54 am |
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Treeckomaster
Fails at life
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:07 pm Posts: 1130 Location: The Forums official moronic epic fail.
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Sorry, my imagination is down but is it...Psypokes?
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Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:50 pm |
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Crimson
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm Posts: 716 Location: USA EST
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Yes, thank god, more specifically about the writing forum. I told you all that you were thinking too hard and that the answer was staring you right in the face.
_________________Link changed to my library.
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Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:22 pm |
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