You forgot 4) BYE

lol, There are really funny, I dont know any good blonde jokes except the one that was mentionned earlier about the cliff and landing in crap.

I'd love to hear more.

I have no problem with his joke, except that it was an old joke.

1)No, left off on purpose, because if i had said bye it would have been:

Ok I have a blonde joke!

One day a blonde lady was driving down the street and her car started swerving. Then aperson with a cellphone called the police. The blonde let down the window and she said," Officer I am so glad you are here their was a tree in the road so I started swerving to dodge the tree but more trees kept on appearing. The officer said"Mam that is your air freshener".

Get it the air freshener which was the kind shaped as a tree was hanging on her mirror and she thought it was a tree in the road.

Sorry for the necro posting but I just heard this great joke:

Written across the wall of an old cave were the some symbols.

It was considered a unique find, since the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!

The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said: "This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they would seek food from the sea.
The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.

The audience applauded enthusiastically.


Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "Idiots, Hebrew is read from right to left......
It says: "Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick"

That's quite good actually for a long joke, usually, the turnouts aren't that great. I love clever ones like that, not often one of them comes around...

I've got a million jokes that I wouldn't dare share here, for fear of being banned. These are a couple of the friendlier ones.

Q: "Why did the blond climb over the invisible wall?"
A: "To see what was on the other side."

Three women were driving away from the cops after a bank robbery: a brunette, a red-head, and a blond. Unfortunately, their car ran out of gas, and they were forced to hide. The first shelter they found were three sacks just big enough to hold them. Thye cops arrive, and begin to examine the bags. They nudge the first bag, and the brunette says "Meow", so the cops figure it must be a cat. After they nudge the second bag, the red-head says "Woof", and the cops assume that it's a dog. Finally, they come to the third bag, containing the blonde, nudge it, and the blonde says "Bananas!".

It's kindof stupid, but I love it.

i got a blond one.

there was a blond, redhead, and a brunette. they were all traped on and island and they wanted to leave. so they agreed on swimming across. first the brunette went half way and drowned. then the readhead thinking the brunette made it went half way and drowned. the blond thought that the readhead had made is so she swam. she saw land and then said "this is too hard" and turned around back. :roll:

I have one. It might be sexist for you "sensitive" ones.

3 blondes are on an island. They are waling along the beach, looking for something to eat, when one of them trips on something. She picks it out of the sand, and lo and behold, it's a lamp. She rubs it, and sure enough, a genie pops out and says they each have one wish.

The first blonde says, "I wish I was smart." The genie turns her into a brunette, and she swims to land.

The second blonde says, "I wish I was smarter." The genie turns her into a redhead, and she buils a raft and sails to land.

The last blonde says, "I wish I was the smartest of them all." The genie turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

yo mama's so stupid she put a peephole in a glass door.

yo mama's so stupid she makes thes blonds smart.

Why are the corners of the Norweigian houses round? (I'm from Sweden so we pick on the Norse they on us..)

Because they don't want the dogs to urinate in the corners

A blond a brunette and a redhead are in a car driving down the road. The car breaks down, and the redhead says "okay, we'll split up and meet back here with what we need."

1 hour later they all meet back up. The redhead had food in case they got hungry. The brunette had water in case they got thirsty. The blonde brought back the car door.

"Why did you bring back the car door?" asked the redhead.
The blonde replied "In case we get hot, we can roll the window down."

-Ryan

I think someone probably said this already, but...


A blonde's driving down the road, listening to a person saying blonde jokes. She gets so mad she punches the radio to shut him up. A few miles later, she comes across another blonde rowing a rowboat in the middle of a cornfield. She starts screaming about how the rowboat blonde's disgracing all the smarter blondes out there, and she eventually says "If I could swim, I'd go out there and teach you a good lesson!"

A blonde and a brunette are watching the 10:00 news and there's a story about a man on a bridge, trying to commit suicide. "I bet you $100 that he'll jump" says the brunette. The blonde agrees, and a moment later the man jumps. The blonde takes out her wallet to pay the brunette.

"Oh, no, I can't accept your money" says the brunette, looking guilty. "I saw the same story live on the 6:00 news, I knew what was going to happen."

"Oh, I saw the 6:00 news too," replies the blonde, "but I didn't think he'd jump again!"

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She climbs to the top of her highest pair of platform shoes and leapts to her death.

When i see these blonde jokes i dont actually mean to affend you k


Rite there are 2 blondes in a car,
And they see a blonde in the middle of a field in a boat, thinking she is in the see
1st blonde:Hey, look at that blonde over there
2nd blonde: yeh i see her
1st blonde: its those blondes that make us blondes look stupid
2nd Blonde: Yeh! stop the car and ill go drow her

(not so very good, but i got plenty more )

I'll put good ones, cause I don't want to be banned:

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

There was a blonde and a pilot on a plane that is going to crash without any saving devices. The pilot, who believes deeply in god, jump and said, "God, save me!" And he landed alive. The blonde, who hasn't heard clearly what he said, and jumps. When she landed, she was bald. The pilot asked why. The blonde said, "I think I said 'Lord, shave me!'"

My kickboxing teacher decided to share one with us a few weeks back.

There was a magic mirror, if you tell a lie, you dissapear...
A brunette walks up to mirror and says 'Im verrrry pretty...' She dissapears in an instant. She was ugly.
A redhead walks up to the mirror and says 'I'm slim.' She dissapears, she's quite fat.
A blonde walks up to the mirror and says 'I think...' and dissapears.

Lol I was laughing like mad when I first heard that.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

A Blonde walks into a supermarket and looks at a can of Orange juice after several hours someone asks her what she is doing and she says that the Orange Juice said on it concentrate.

Edit: Some things that Blondes invented:

The inflatable dart board, The foot powered wheel chir and The re-usable toilet paper.

How did the Blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.

Why can't the Blonde dial 911?
She can't find the 11 on the dial.

Having lost her horse, a Blonde got down to her knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked, "Your horse is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
The blonde replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the horse at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Rubypoke, darkdragonforce3x9 posted a really similar one on the 2nd page.

All of them are soooo funny, and there are countless jokes that are hilarios.

Just made this up by a similar incident at school:

A blonde and a redhead was getting ready to turn in their geomtry homework.
The blonde asked the red head "What is our Assignment name?"
The redhead replies "Circle Assignment"

Then the blonde wrote "assignment" and circled it.

sorry if I explained it horribly.