|
It is currently Mon May 13, 2024 3:35 am
|
Author |
Message |
pokemon ranger
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:51 pm Posts: 370
|
My joke isn't all that great but...
There is a man drowning in the water. A boat comes and asks, "Do you need help?". The man says, "No thanks, God will help me.". Then another boat comes and asks the same thing. He says, "No thanks God will help me". Then the man dies and goes to heaven and asks God, "Why didn't you help me?". God said, "I sent you two boats you dumb@$$!
|
Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:22 am |
|
|
Zombie
Ace Trainer
Joined: Fri Nov 09, 2007 4:24 am Posts: 412 Location: credit goes to afonso for the avatar, and the "faceplant"
|
pokemon ranger, you don't want to know how many times I've heard that joke, I actually screamed when I read it, and when everyone tells it to me, they're so proud of them selves, like they're so clever, even the teachers.
I also heard it in the pursuit of happiness.
|
Thu Nov 20, 2008 9:54 am |
|
|
pokemon ranger
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:51 pm Posts: 370
|
Really? I heard it from a friend. I told you it wasn't all that great
|
Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:26 pm |
|
|
ricabrightfox
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:47 pm Posts: 76 Location: neopia
|
|
Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:25 pm |
|
|
Nida
Ace Trainer
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:36 am Posts: 302 Location: Upstate New York
|
I see what you did there.
On topic:
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
_________________ryan_dan wrote: (S)ome dumb kids looked at Mewtwo and thought "Hey he can clone things and move objects with his mind and be weak to Ghost attacks, why can't I?" Because it is a freaking game!!! Not something you should actaully practice in real life!!!
|
Sun Nov 23, 2008 10:17 pm |
|
|
DatVu
Gym Leader
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2005 10:35 pm Posts: 1350 Location: C-Town
|
Why shouldn't you let a Pokémon use the bathroom while you shower?
Because he'll Pikachu.
|
Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:03 am |
|
|
Nida
Ace Trainer
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:36 am Posts: 302 Location: Upstate New York
|
^ Epic
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 OH GOD HERE HE COMES HE'S GOT AN ANGRY BADGER
_________________ryan_dan wrote: (S)ome dumb kids looked at Mewtwo and thought "Hey he can clone things and move objects with his mind and be weak to Ghost attacks, why can't I?" Because it is a freaking game!!! Not something you should actaully practice in real life!!!
|
Thu Dec 04, 2008 6:28 am |
|
|
mExCaLiBuR
Bug Catcher
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:38 pm Posts: 17 Location: Feverishly correcting other people's spelling and grammatical errors.
|
Quote: Why shouldn't you let a Pokémon use the bathroom while you shower?
Because he'll Pikachu.
Ahhh. First of the morning humor. Seriously...this kept me laughing for about 3 minutes straight. Indeed epic. You get a bonus point.
|
Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:56 am |
|
|
Kruggeikarp
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 1:15 pm Posts: 228 Location: Earth
|
My dad is the king of terrible jokes.
"Did you know that a hummingbird dosen't know the words?"
Oh yeah, he said that.
Ok, here's my favorite joke:
So little Timmy is sitting in class, daydreaming, when Mrs. So-'n-so points to him and says, "Timmy! If there are three ducks on a fence, and you shoot one of them, how many ducks would be left?"
Little Timmy answered, "Well, Mrs. So-'n-so, if I shoot one of the ducks, the sound of the gunshot would make the others would fly away"
Mrs. So-'n-so shook her head,"No, Timmy, there would be two ducks left; but I like the way you're thinking."
So Timmy asked, "Mrs. So-'n-so, three woman walk out of an ice cream store; one's sucking her cone, one's licking her cone, and one's biting her cone. Which one's married?"
Mrs. So-'n-so replied with reluctance, "I don't know Timmy.... the woman sucking her cone?"
Timmy smiled and said, "No, Mrs. So-'n-so, it's the woman with the ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Oh and you gotta' tray this one on your friends:
You: "I have a great Knock-Knock joke, wanna' hear?"
Them: "Sure."
You: "Ok, you start"
Them: "Ok, Knock-knock."
You: "Who's there?"
Them: ".....................................................?"
Get it?
It's a gas! I love that one!
Oh, and just for fun:
A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and the priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Hey, did you hear the one about us?"
_________________A trainer's worst nightmare F/C: 4167-6843-2195; Name Tetra. Fight me!
|
Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:28 pm |
|
|
drakonezduskmoon
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:27 pm Posts: 122 Location: temporal tower
|
what do you call two birds relaxing in the midday sun?
Baskin' Robins
what happens when the smog clears over Los Angelos, CA?
UCLA
this one is a bit long
There were three friars who went into the floral business. One day, some kids went into their greenhouse and were eaten by a man-eating plant. The parents demanded that the plant be destroyed, but the friars refused. Then enraged parents went to Hugh, the local blacksmith, and got him to chase the friars of town.
The moral:
Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars
what do you think
_________________ ................. .................. .................. want to trade?
0646 1156 7995 FC
|
Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:26 pm |
|
|
Kruggeikarp
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 1:15 pm Posts: 228 Location: Earth
|
Hah! I liked it.
And my dad dropped another gold nugget today:
"A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, and the bartender ask, 'Hey, man, what's the with paper towel' and the pirate says, 'Arrr, there's a bounty on me head.'"
_________________A trainer's worst nightmare F/C: 4167-6843-2195; Name Tetra. Fight me!
|
Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:02 pm |
|
|
pokemon ranger
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:51 pm Posts: 370
|
Kruggeikarp wrote: Hah! I liked it.
And my dad dropped another gold nugget today:
"A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, and the bartender ask, 'Hey, man, what's the with paper towel' and the pirate says, 'Arrr, there's a bounty on me head.'"
Hah, that one made me laugh
|
Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:31 pm |
|
|
Nida
Ace Trainer
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:36 am Posts: 302 Location: Upstate New York
|
A pirate walks into a bar with a small ship's wheel peeking over his waistband. The barkeep asks, "What's it for? Isn't it uncomfortable?" The pirate replies, "Yar, 'tis drivin' me nuts!"
_________________ryan_dan wrote: (S)ome dumb kids looked at Mewtwo and thought "Hey he can clone things and move objects with his mind and be weak to Ghost attacks, why can't I?" Because it is a freaking game!!! Not something you should actaully practice in real life!!!
|
Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:48 pm |
|
|
pokemon ranger
Ace Trainer
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:51 pm Posts: 370
|
Nida wrote: A pirate walks into a bar with a small ship's wheel peeking over his waistband. The barkeep asks, "What's it for? Isn't it uncomfortable?" The pirate replies, "Yar, 'tis drivin' me nuts!"
Wow, when one reads that in the wrong way it's...um...interesting
|
Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:25 pm |
|
|
ricabrightfox
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:47 pm Posts: 76 Location: neopia
|
ok, a guy was interviewing for a job, and the other man asks him,
"ok, MR. so-and-so, i want you to represent the number 9 without actually stating the number."
"ok." says MR.so-and-so and he draws three trees.
"why did you draw those trees?" asked the interviewer.
"tree plus tree plus tree equals nine." he replied.
"okay, now i want you to represent 99."
he shades in the trees.
now why did you do that? he asks
dirty tree plus dirty tree plus dirty tree equals 99
okay, now i want you to represent 100
he places a small mark beside each tree
now what was that for?
dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd equals 100
so the guy hires him.
|
Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:26 pm |
|
|
Patchy
Pokemon Master
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:17 am Posts: 1018
|
^ lol.
Nida wrote: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 OH GOD HERE HE COMES HE'S GOT AN ANGRY BADGER
When I was at that post, the answer wasn't there, and I thought it was going to be the actual answer.
Why don't lobsters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
;P
And Kruggeikarp, I loved the knock-knock joke one!
|
Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:10 pm |
|
|
Kruggeikarp
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 1:15 pm Posts: 228 Location: Earth
|
ricabrightfox wrote:
dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd equals 100
so the guy hires him.
This joke took me a couple days to get.
I kid you not.
Hmm, I think some told me this one a long time ago, but I forgot how exactly it gose... but we'll try.
Three men were watching the Super bowl when a Special Report flashed on the screen;
"Beware, there is a Land Shark on the loose and he'll try anything to get you to open the door so he can eat you."
Moments later, the men heard a knock on the door, the first guy rises, with a grunt, to see who was there.
"Who's there?" the man barked through the door.
A low-toned voice mumbled, "Um.... I'm a cable guy."
The man opened the door and......
Chomp!
A little while later, there's another knock. The second guy gets up and goes to see who's knocking.
"Who's there" he asked timidly.
"Um..... I'm a cable guy."
"Nice try, but we didn't call for a cable guy"
"Oh, then.... um... I'm a plumber."
The second man opened the door and.....
Chomp!
A couple minutes passed, and there was another knock.
The third man fearfully got up to answer the door....
With a quiver in his voice he asked, "Wh-who's there?"
"Umm... I'm a cable guy"
"We didn't call for a cable guy!"
"Then, um.... I'm a plumber"
"We didn't call for a plumber!"
"Oh then.... um... I'm a... land shark.."
The man laughed as he opened the door, "No way! I gotta' see th-"
Chomp!
Probably butchered it, but eh. Made me laugh.
_________________A trainer's worst nightmare F/C: 4167-6843-2195; Name Tetra. Fight me!
|
Sun Dec 14, 2008 11:17 pm |
|
|
Sneaky Sneasel
Gym Leader
Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 5:21 pm Posts: 3128 Location: College
|
My girlfriend had crabs so I gave her fishnet stockings.
|
Tue Dec 16, 2008 10:56 pm |
|
|
ricabrightfox
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:47 pm Posts: 76 Location: neopia
|
in a classroom a teacher was reading to her 2nd grade students the story of chicken little. She was at the point where chicken little told the farmer that the sky was falling. She paused and asked her students, "And what do you think the farmer said?" a boy raised his hands and the teacher called on him. the boy exclaimed, "OH MY F****ING GOD!!!!! A TALKING CHICKEN!!!!! The teacher was unable to teach for the next 5 minuites.
|
Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:35 pm |
|
|
Gnaaye
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2006 11:22 am Posts: 815
|
Why don't zebras play poker? There are cheetahs in the forest, you know.
EEEEEEEEWWWW.
_________________(\__/) (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your ('')_('') signature to help him gain world domination The Jonatron wrote: Xatu Unlickely this guy wont get powered.
|
Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:23 am |
|
|
Draikette
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Tue May 08, 2007 1:42 pm Posts: 95 Location: Biscuit Town
|
Eh, this is an old one...
What type of bra does a smart mermaid wear?
An algebra/algae-bra
dur...lol
_________________<---my scroll Banner= SPG main site Gear = SPG fan-forum (I'm a moderator)
|
Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:03 pm |
|
|
gamer guy
Pokemon Ranger
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 11:57 am Posts: 863 Location: I'm stuck somewhere... Not quite sure where that is though.
|
There are only 24 letters in the alphabet. E.T phoned home.
Ur mum.
_________________ All I know is that I know nothing.
|
Sat Jan 10, 2009 1:31 am |
|
|
drakonezduskmoon
Dragon Tamer
Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:27 pm Posts: 122 Location: temporal tower
|
Kruggeikarp wrote: ricabrightfox wrote:
dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd plus dirty tree and a turd equals 100
so the guy hires him.
This joke took me a couple days to get.
I kid you not.
Hmm, I think some told me this one a long time ago, but I forgot how exactly it gose... but we'll try.
Three men were watching the Super bowl when a Special Report flashed on the screen;
"Beware, there is a Land Shark on the loose and he'll try anything to get you to open the door so he can eat you."
Moments later, the men heard a knock on the door, the first guy rises, with a grunt, to see who was there.
"Who's there?" the man barked through the door.
A low-toned voice mumbled, "Um.... I'm a cable guy."
The man opened the door and......
Chomp!
A little while later, there's another knock. The second guy gets up and goes to see who's knocking.
"Who's there" he asked timidly.
"Um..... I'm a cable guy."
"Nice try, but we didn't call for a cable guy"
"Oh, then.... um... I'm a plumber."
The second man opened the door and.....
Chomp!
A couple minutes passed, and there was another knock.
The third man fearfully got up to answer the door....
With a quiver in his voice he asked, "Wh-who's there?"
"Umm... I'm a cable guy"
"We didn't call for a cable guy!"
"Then, um.... I'm a plumber"
"We didn't call for a plumber!"
"Oh then.... um... I'm a... land shark.."
The man laughed as he opened the door, "No way! I gotta' see th-"
Chomp!
Probably butchered it, but eh. Made me laugh.
just from this, i got gory images that you probably don't want me to describe......but when i saw the term land shark, gible came to mind.
i know i am obsessed with these guys
_________________ ................. .................. .................. want to trade?
0646 1156 7995 FC
|
Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:47 pm |
|
|
ricabrightfox
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:47 pm Posts: 76 Location: neopia
|
drakonez, look at my post in the your most frightning forum.
|
Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:06 pm |
|
|
splinter
Psychic Trainer
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:27 pm Posts: 97
|
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh! Lol, i remember my junior high principal saying that one.
|
Sat Jan 17, 2009 7:54 pm |
|
|
|
Who is online |
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 19 guests |
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum
|
|