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 Lady Luck [PG] 
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Pokemon Ranger
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Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
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My Corner: As some of you know, today has been a writing marathon and I've made some progress. I finished one of the three stories I wanted to and I'm well on my way on the second one. I've been working on all three at once so my efforts are kinda scattered. *shrugs* Anywho, I decided to post the one I finished, and the only one to see the light of the internet on here for kicks. Enjoy.

Edit: This is a one-shot by the way. So this is the entire story. I have a strange attachment for the main character. I felt distanced from her and yet I liked that about it. It was really weird for me...but I think it worked for Lady Luck so oh wellz.

<p align="center">Lady Luck</p>
She felt out of place amongst the roulette wheels, slot machines, poker tables, and just about every other gambling game ever invented. Since the dirty-blonde had arrived here she had wondered what had possessed her to come here in the first place. So what if she had won the casino/hotel’s luxurious pent house, it’s not like she’d meant to. After all, she was only the one-thousandth person to walk by…supposedly. The person counting probably got so bored they just chose randomly, and they happened to pick the worst person possible for it.

She was down to earth, in her opinion at least, and practical with little need for the extravagant novelties the people around her couldn’t live without. Oh sure, she loved the pent house, who couldn’t, but why couldn’t she just stay in the room for the night. Why did she decide to be adventurous? She hated prom, how on earth was she going to stand going to a ritzy casino. Yes, ritzy was definitely the best way to describe this place. There were no people dressed even a tiny bit casually, all formal wear. They were all parts of the upper class, making more money than she would probably ever own.

The blonde, despite wearing her best dress, still felt under-dressed and shifted uncomfortably in her own skin from the glacial stares from down the snobs’ noses. She hoped they got so many nose jobs that they looked completely disfigured. The outfits some of the women were wearing were so extravagant that she couldn’t begin to describe them. They were the outfits you had to see to believe, while hers was painfully simple in comparison. It was elegant in its own right, and show cased her beauty rather than the dresses. Its wide straps hung purposely off her shoulders, designed to mimic some of the strapless sweaters whose collars were just barely on the wearer’s shoulders, baring her neck and bust to the world in a rounded collar, stopping just before there would be any cleavage. The soft green color helped her own emerald eyes pop, creating a hypnotic affect in the right light. She scoffed at the last bit, when she had gone shopping before her trip to Las Vegas the sales associate had said that, that woman had been so enthusiastic that Erin was trying to keep up the entire time. The rest of the dress sweetly clung to her form, accentuating her soft womanly curves with a taste of modesty. Her hair was just as simple, pulled up from her neck in a toothed clip.

Maybe that woman had been off her rocker, with all the stares, more like glowers, she was getting. Erin hadn’t thought she looked that bad…but who knew what she was to expect here. She was just a college student taking a break and seeing some sights. She was going to college near here, might as well see a little bit of Vegas. Partying and casinos weren’t her style. Send her to a café with a book or laptop and she was in heaven. Maybe everyone here could tell she wasn’t supposed to be, even though the hotel said she could be.

Through the doubts Erin had made her way passed the silent slot machines, none of the stuck ups daring to look like middle class America in any way. By the time she crawled out of the thoughts she was standing by a Black Jack table. There were men smoking cigars and cigarettes playing, some not smoking but had a glass of champagne. And there were men and women mingling about the table watching, just like every other table.

She felt obligated to take a glass from a passing waiter; Erin took a delicate sip of the sparkling champagne. To be honest she didn’t like it too much; but, she figured she could suffer through a glass or two.

The young woman peered as elegantly as possible over the shoulders of others to watch the game. It seemed that they were playing Black Jack and one of the players was getting quite the bundle.

He was a handsome rogue, with brown hair and a smile that made her knees weak. “Lady Luck must be here tonight,” he said with a laugh.

“I can’t believe it,” said one of his companions, “You never win.”

They laughed, and the underdog took a sip of his drink. “I know, I think I need to find my Lady Luck before she runs off.” He gave a wicked smile as the others laughed.

Even some of the ones mingling laughed; the men were more heart felt while the women were more…coldly civil. Erin had a hard time not laughing; she had enough eyes on her already. His blue eyes were dancing as the next set of cards dealt. They traveled through the crowd and then locked on her. The azure eyes studied her, trying to remember a face he had never seen.

Erin blushed and tore her eyes away from his, turning her gaze to his cards. He had an ace of spades, the card of death. She never knew why it was considered that, personally she found it to be the most appealing card, aesthetically.

“I’m staying,” the man said when it came his turn to stay or hit. The cards were revealed and his hidden card was a king of spades, Black Jack. He raked in his bounty and stood from the table, his eyes dancing as he bid his good byes telling his companions not to go broke.

Erin was no where near the table when he left, but she had a feeling that he was looking for her. No you dummy, that’s stupid. Why would he be looking for you? She scolded herself. Compared to everyone here, she was a nobody, Erin took a deep breath.

She had hidden herself away, in the far corner closest to the abandoned slot machines; this was the safest place for her in this casino. Erin took a large swig of her champagne, downing it in one gulp. Her hand was enveloped by a larger hand that took away her empty glass.

“Now isn’t that the most lady like gesture I’ve ever seen?” Her eyes snapped open at the sound of the familiar voice. She hadn’t even remembered closing her eyes!

The dirty-blonde stared up at the man she’d seen only moments before in horror. God, she hoped he was going to lose interest in her soon.

He gave her a wolfish smile that made her thankful she was leaning against the wall. “Now, Lady, it wasn’t polite of you to run off like that before we were properly introduced.”

She gulped; he thought she was his Lady Luck, what horrific luck she had today. Maybe it was just Las Vegas though…Erin reminded herself to never come here again.

His blue eyes sparkled, “I’m Drew, and I know you’re name ain’t Lady Luck.”

He spoke with a bit of a southern accent, it was diluted. It was as if he’d been growing accustomed to higher society and losing his accent.

Her mouth was parched but she managed out her name. “I’m Erin.”

Drew gave her a broad smile, “Nice ta’ meet you Erin. I’ve gotta say, you’re quite lucky, you know that right?”

A wry smile cracked from her lips, “I don’t think so. I hate casinos.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Now why’s that? Did one bite you?”

She laughed, “No, I’m just not good around people…” Erin trailed off. She remembered how horrific prom had been for her, she felt so awkward that she left two hours early.

Drew was silent for a moment, “Then why are you here?”

Her eyes snapped up to his, how did she explain this? He was so serious and somber now, staring into her soul. “I…I won a night in the pent house and I decided to explore…” There it was out in the open now.

The brunette chuckled, “Did you now? Well I’d say that makes you lucky.”

She shook her head, “No, I have horrible luck.”

Her chin was grasped sharply, “What’d you say we agree to disagree Lady?” His voice was silky and she couldn’t resist even if she wanted to. With her voice failing her, Erin nodded the minutest amount.


How it happened she didn’t know; but, she was still here at the ritzy hotel/casino. Drew had managed somehow to convince her to stay with him there. Every night they’d head up to the casino and everyday they’d be asleep in the suite he had, she even got her own room!

Erin still felt something was off, so instead of paying attention to the game her companion was playing she’d look at the people around her discreetly. One face, one face always stuck out from the rest. It was always there, the face of a beautiful woman stuck out more than all the others. That face was always watching Drew, the entire night; but, he never noticed it. Erin did though, and she began to wonder if that woman was his Lady Luck.

The face wasn’t there tonight, she didn’t know why. Drew didn’t win the first game. They all laughed it off, but Erin grew increasingly concerned. This wasn’t good. He didn’t win the next or the one after that and eventually Erin excused herself.

She felt sick; this could not end well for her heart. Over the few weeks she’d been with Drew she’d grown to like him. How couldn’t she? He was attractive, charismatic, and sweet; he was everything a girl could want.

The blonde hurried over to the corner she’d hidden in only a few weeks ago and stared at the floor. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him coming, and he didn’t look happy. She couldn’t blame him, he’d grown used to winning. Erin didn’t have the heart to look at him.

“Lady,” he snapped, “what’s going on? Are you mad at me?”

“Stop,” she whispered covering her ears. She wasn’t his Lady Luck, why couldn’t he see that?

He grabbed her wrists and tore them away from her ears. She stared up at him with sad eyes. He still didn’t understand. “What can I do to make you happy Lady?”

Why can’t I be Erin to you? She’d asked herself this question over and over; but, he didn’t see her as Erin. He saw her as his key to wealth.

Erin forced herself out of his grip, “Stop calling me that! I’m not your Lady Luck!” She yelled loud enough that others turned, looking for the noise. Drew clamped a hand over her mouth to keep anymore outbursts in.

“Why do you keep insisting that?” She stared at him with pleading eyes but knew he’d never understand.

Where was she? Where was his Lady Luck? Tears welled up in her eyes, startling Drew. He withdrew his hand and backed away slightly, not sure of what to do.

And that’s when she saw her, just coming into the casino. His Lady Luck looked frazzled, upset to be late and worried she’d missed him.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she repeated in a soft voice, “I’m not your Lady Luck.” Her throat was tight, and she felt like she was talking around a lump within it. Erin continued, preventing his protests, “She is.” The blonde pointed at the gorgeous woman by the door.

His gaze followed her arm and he saw the woman who was looking around desperately. She was looking everywhere but where they were, after all why would anyone here be in such a detestable area?

Erin was walking away from him while he was thinking, he didn’t understand. His mind raced to catch up, and her legs raced to get out of there as quickly as possible without creating a scene.

“Erin!” Drew called realizing where she was going; but it was too late, she’d left the safety the slot machines offered.

The woman looked surprised at Erin who was walking with tears running down her cheeks straight towards her.

She gave a choked chuckle when she reached the woman. “I think,” she began, wiping her eyes, “his real Lady Luck should take care of him. He needs it.” Erin tried to smile but ended miserably.

Without another word she left the ritzy casino for the last time, leaving behind the man she’d grown to adore and his Lady Luck. May you have many more wins Drew.

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Last edited by Crimson on Sun May 06, 2007 6:16 am, edited 5 times in total.



Fri May 04, 2007 4:53 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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Very well done. Great Storyline. Execution was great! Full on 10/10. I'm desperately snatching for more....=D.

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Fri May 04, 2007 6:19 pm
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Dragon Tamer
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It's not my style of reading, but I guess it was okay.

There were a couple of grammatical errors, but they were so minute I don't think I need to mention them.

Nice writing.

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Fri May 04, 2007 6:22 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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Whoops my bad, I forgot to say that it was a one-shot...well I'll go edit my authors note in a minute. But, thanks a lot I love getting comments.

Quote:
It's not my style of reading, but I guess it was okay.


Tis fine, I typically hate most of what I read on here because I don't like the story or style. It's only fair for that to happen to something I write.

Quote:
There were a couple of grammatical errors, but they were so minute I don't think I need to mention them.


Ah, grammar, my mortal enemy, thy name is Crimson! Prepare to fight to the bloody death! XD [I think I have a bit too much energy lol]

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Fri May 04, 2007 6:23 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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*Applaudes*

I´ve gotta say the end was not what I expected, that made me to produce a smile at it, knowing the ending was not that dramatic but sad in a way...

When I first read the "This is a One-Shot" part I stucked in this thread because I know this is really one of your talents (to me), but hey Crimson, I guess there´s no One-Shot of yours nearly better than "Carnival", my thought is (I know both ficz are different from the other, but still).

Looks like things are going better around here, and I congratulate you for such another good job, even if it is not needed, for most of your works (I think) are worth reading :P!

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Sat May 05, 2007 9:33 am
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Ace Trainer
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:shock: I...I...am speechless.....Too good....Crimson, you are the best, I have to say...wait, wasn't I speechless? 11/10 :lol:


Sat May 05, 2007 6:57 pm
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Phenominal, I was looking forward to reading something of yours after you posted on my story, and you seemed to hit the ball out of the park. Now, I don't like it when somebody just posts "that was great" on my own, so I wanted to do my best to give some advice, but you are my superior as a writer, which, if I can stroke my ego a little (/grin), I have never encountered in a fan fic setting. There was only one minor thing that got me:

Quote:
How it happened she didn’t know; but, she was still here at the ritzy hotel/casino. Drew had managed somehow to convince her to stay with him there. Every night they’d head up to the casino and everyday they’d be asleep in the suite he had, she even got her own room!

Erin still felt something was off, so instead of paying attention to the game her companion was playing she’d look at the people around her discreetly. One face, one face always stuck out from the rest. It was always there, the face of a beautiful woman stuck out more than all the others. That face was always watching Drew, the entire night; but, he never noticed it. Erin did though, and she began to wonder if that woman was his Lady Luck.


The rest of the story is filled with intircate detail, this part just feels a step out of beat. I understand that it is a jump in time, but it felt like, while you put forth care with the rest of the story, this was really neglected in comparison to everything else. Yeah, that is all I could come up with. Otherwise I loved your story, and it felt like I was reading an actual novel. 10/10, because the genre of the fan fic is below your skills.

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Sat May 05, 2007 11:09 pm
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