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 The Epic of Torchic 

Out of these 10 choices, who is your favorite?
Bulbasaur 2%  2%  [ 1 ]
Charmander 13%  13%  [ 8 ]
Squirtle 6%  6%  [ 4 ]
Pikachu 8%  8%  [ 5 ]
Chikorita 6%  6%  [ 4 ]
Cyndaquil 17%  17%  [ 11 ]
Totodile 8%  8%  [ 5 ]
Treecko 14%  14%  [ 9 ]
Torchic 5%  5%  [ 3 ]
Mudkip 21%  21%  [ 13 ]
Total votes : 63

 The Epic of Torchic 
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I have been writing stories for about a year or so, so this one should be just as good. Here goes:


_ He had been floating. Eyes closed, in a gooey mass. How long he was here, he knew not. Then it struck him – it was time. He knew it was his time to escape. He would hatch now. He began to peck out of the egg, until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. He wriggled out, making the most of every second. Then he emerged, a Torchic. His life, and his story, begins here…

The Epic of Torchic



Chapter 1 (revised)

_ Once he was out, he had to ask himself questions: Who am I? Where am I? What is going on? He looked around. He thought (Well I know I am a Torchic, but I know not where I am. Gasp! Where are my parents? Have I been left for dead, forgotten? How will I know for sure? I may have to do this on my own…)
_ He got up. He shook his legs a bit and flapped his wings, which he realized would be useless for flight. He set out, hoping he would find the answers to his questions. He walked, and walked, and walked…feeling as if he’s walked for hours. Then he got to a clearing. There was a large lake in it, seeming to go on forever. He dashed to the water’s edge, lapping up the refreshing liquid. (So this is water…) he thought. (It’s so energizing.)
_ His strength returning to him, Torchic laid down on the grass. He thought he saw something in the corner of his eye. Lifting his head, he looked around. He saw it again – bubbles on the lake rising to the surface. Torchic got near to the edge of the lake…and was greeted by a jet of water!
_ “Cough, cough, splutter, splutter… Hey! That wasn’t funny!” The culprit, a Squirtle, resurfaced.
_ “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” he replied.
_ “Help yourself?” retorted Torchic. “What kind of Pokemon are you?”
_ “I’m a Squirtle, of course,” came the answer. “I’m sorry if I upset you.” He ran over to the bushes and pulled out a knapsack. Producing an apple, he said, “Here, have some food.” Torchic took a bite. “Oh, this is delicious!” he exclaimed, and devoured the apple with gusto. “Whoa!” said Squirtle. “You’re eating like this is the first meal of your life.” “It is,” Torchic responded, “and it’s scrumptious! So is the water!”
_ When they finished their food, Squirtle asked, “You were born only this morning?”
_ “You never knew your parents? What a shame…Torchic, I want to journey with you.”
_ “What?”
_ “For you not to know your parents…That must be horrible. I want to help find your parents.”
_ “You would? Really?”
_ And so, Squirtle joined Torchic to help him search for his parents. Little did they know an incredible journey over the world was lying in wait for them…

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Last edited by DNA on Wed Apr 25, 2007 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Mar 13, 2007 7:52 pm
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The Epic of Torchic

Chapter 2 (revised)

_ “Squirtle, can I ask you something?”
_ “Sure, Torchic.”
_ “What is ‘sun-set’”?
_ “Well, when we get to that hill I’ll show you.”
_ Torchic followed Squirtle to the hill in question, which was not that far off. “There’s my village,” said Squirtle, pointing to the bottom of the hill. “And that,” pointing out to the horizon, “is the sunset.” For a while Torchic stood stunned in amazement. The sky was painted beautifully in various hues of red, orange, and purple, complementing each other in perfect harmony. And there, sinking below the horizon out to the sea, was a big yellow orb – the Sun.
_ “Wow!” exclaimed Torchic. “This is so beautiful! I feel sorry for those who have never seen a sun-set.”
_ “And we get this every evening. The magic of it is, no matter how far you run toward it, it never gets any closer.”
_ “Really? That is incredible.”
_ They sat there for several more moments in silence. Then Squirtle piped up, “It’s getting dark. Let’s go to the village.” Torchic ran excitedly ahead of Squirtle toward the village near the sea. So excitedly, in fact, that he didn’t notice a Wartortle walking straight toward him. They collided and fell backwards with a thump. The Wartortle exclaimed “Hey! Watch where you’re going!”
_ “I’m sorry,” responded Torchic, “I didn’t notice you there.”
_ “Well, make sure it doesn’t happen again.” He walked away with an audible humph. “Don’t mind him,” said Squirtle, who just caught up. “He gives everybody a hard time. Come, I want to introduce you to my father.”
_ Squirtle led Torchic along a row of huts up to a very large hut seeming to have two levels. Torchic noticed that all the huts were made from some kind of leaf. “Come,” Squirtle signaled, and they entered the large hut together. An eerie blue glow flooded the room, and, in a large throne, sat a Blastoise. He was huge, the two cannons on his back always seeming poised at the ready. “Hm?” it boomed. “Son, who is this?” Squirtle stepped forward. “Father, this is Torchic. He’s on a journey to find his parents – he was born only this morning.” “Hmmm, I see. Torchic, step forward.” Torchic did as he was told. As he stepped into the light, Blastoise seemed taken aback, the commanding presence seemed escaped from him for a split second.
_ “Your feathers…They are golden!” he spurted. “Such a thing I have never seen before.”
_ “You mean golden feathers aren’t normal?”
_ “No. You Torchic are usually red. This…is astounding…I never thought I would meet a shiny Pokemon in my life.”
_ “Father,” Squirtle spoke up.
_ “Yes, my son?” Blastoise responded, with a fatherly voice.
_ “I want to join Torchic to search for his parents. Wherever that may take you, I will follow you, Torchic.”
_ Torchic smiled and began to blush. “You would do all that for me, Squirtle?”
_ “Yes, Torchic. For you I would do anything.”
_ Blastoise interjected. “My son, your mind is set. Very well. Take supplies and this map.” His guards, two Wartortle, stepped forward and supplied the articles. “You have my blessing. You leave at first light tomorrow. And, Torchic…”
_ “Yes, sir?”
_ “May you find your parents.”
_ So Torchic and Squirtle set out on their journey. Their true adventure had now begun!

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:44 am
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Chapter 3 (revised)

_ As they embarked on their journey, they headed north. Squirtle glanced at the map and said, “My father told me of a village in this direction. He said an Alakazam who knows everything lives there.”
_ “Yes! Maybe he knows who my parents are. How far away is the village?”
_ “At this rate we should be there by afternoon. We just go north to this bridge, follow this path through the forest, and we’ll be there in no time.”
_ But when they got to the bridge, it was broken. “A storm must have destroyed this,” said Torchic. “But how will we get across?” Squirtle walked up to the river. “Not too deep, not too fast… I know! Torchic, get on my shell while I swim us across!” He jumped into the river.
_ “Are you sure I won’t drown?” Torchic replied nervously.
_ “Nothing to it, Torchic. I’ll make sure of it.” So Torchic hopped onto Squirtle’s back and Squirtle swam across.
_ “That was great work, Squirtle,” Torchic remarked.
_ “Ah, it was no big deal,” Squirtle replied. “Anything for a friend.” Torchic smiled, and they continued on their way.
_ When they sat down to have lunch, Torchic was pelted by a pebble. “Ow! Who did that?” He heard a stifled snicker. Squirtle also got by a pebble, but it merely bounced off his shell with a clank. Again the snicker was heard. Squirtle saw a look of frustration on Torchic’s face, but he said “Wait one more time.” This time a pebble came from overhead and hit Torchic’s headfeather. “Ouch!” he shouted, and fell forward. Squirtle took his chance and nailed the snicker with a Water Gun. A Mankey holding a sling and pebbles fell from the tree, hurtling to the ground. Torchic was on him like a lion, his claw placed on the Mankey’s chest, pinning him where he lay. Torchic angrily shouted, “Why were you throwing pebbles at us!?” The Mankey stammered “I w-w-was j-j-just having f-fun!” Squirtle joined in with “Well it wasn’t very funny! Now leave! Or do you want us to fight you?” The Mankey quickly ran off into the trees, cutting his chest trying to escape from Torchic’s talons. Squirtle and Torchic finished their meal, and set off again. But this may not be the last time they see the Mankey…

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Thu Mar 15, 2007 9:32 am
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the stories are ok but they are mostly dialouge which is kinda boring and you punctuated the dialogue incorrectly ur supossed to make a new paragraph for every set of "" oh and more detail in the naration

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Thu Mar 15, 2007 9:58 am
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snobord wrote:
the stories are ok but they are mostly dialouge which is kinda boring and you punctuated the dialogue incorrectly ur supossed to make a new paragraph for every set of "" oh and more detail in the naration


I tried doing that (intending 5 spaces) but it doesn't take. I copied this exactly from Word and I know it shows up weird, but...well, sorry.

*EDIT: To ~Crimson~: I have never really written a story in paragraph format (all my previous stories were 95% dialogue, like a play format). So I'm kinda testing various methods and seeing which works.

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Mar 15, 2007 12:02 pm
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Tabs, substitues for a tab, don't appear in forums. That's why you see people double spacing their paragraphs. A good start though.

Anything else....flavor texting, adding description, would improve the story, it looks like virtually nothing happened but I know that's not true. And I don't know if you were having computer issues but a new paragraph begins every time a different character speaks or the topic changes.

Please don't act affronted, I do this to everyone including myself so it isn't in anyway a personal insult.

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Thu Mar 15, 2007 1:19 pm
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Chapter 4 (revised)

_ It was afternoon. The sun was working its paintbrush across the sides as it began to dip eventually out of sight. Squirtle and Torchic had arrived in Central Village. There were houses of all kinds everywhere, inhabited by all kinds of Pokemon. Squirtle exclaimed “This must be the place!” and they entered the village.
_ They took note of their surroundings. Houses lined the streets, neighbors were chatting with each other. There was a big marketplace, with merchants peddling their wares. A large pond supplied the town’s water. And lastly, a post office delivered mail all over the village and beyond.
_ But where was Alakazam?
_ “Don’t you think we should ask around?” said Torchic.
_ “Yes,” replied Squirtle. “Someone around here must know.”
_ They began asking the townsfolk of Alakazam’s whereabouts. Some had no idea who or where he was. Others chose to ignore the two journeymen. Still others looked frightened and hid in their homes.
_ “Oh, Torchic, this isn’t working,” Squirtle cried in despair. “We’ve asked everyone in this town and we still don’t know where…”
_ “Where I am?” a deep voice responded from far behind them.
_ A yellow Pokemon walked into the square. His shoulders, arms, and knees were surrounded by brown balls, he had a very long mustache on his face, in each hand he was holding a spoon, and he had a prescient air about him.
_ There was no second guessing – this was undoubtedly Alakazam.
_ “You’re Alakazam, aren’t you?” Torchic spoke up.
_ “Indeed I am. I knew you were looking for me, so I came.”
_ “How did you know?”
_ “I know many things, Squirtle. You have come with Torchic to ask about his parents.”
_ (Wow, he really does know everything,) thought Torchic.
_ Alakazam sat down in a lotus position. He closed his eyes, and asked for absolute silence. A vision of a volcano appeared in his head, along with terrified Pokemon and a horrible beast. His eyes opened with a start. He then spoke.
_ “I saw your parents and where they are. They are near the volcano to the far northeast, which has fallen under the cruel reign of the Wyvern King, Vincent.”
_ Squirtle asked the oracle, “Who is Wyvern King Vincent?”
_ The oracle responded, “He is a cruel beast who slipped out of his world into ours. He is half human and half dragon. He is incredibly protective and heinously evil.”
_ Torchic, a chill of fear gripping him, exclaimed “So how do we defeat him?”
_ “You should ask the one who defeated him before. He has become known as the Violet Avenger. His body is colored a deep purple; he is a Swampert.”
_ “Aren’t Swampert usually blue?” Squirtle asked.
_ “Yes, they are, Squirtle. A shining Pokemon saved us once…maybe another will save us again, Torchic.” He looked at Torchic with expectance.
_ “You think I will be the one to defeat this Wyvern King?”
_ “I have great faith in you, Torchic. The Avenger is still alive, living far northwest of here deep in a swamp. You should ask him how he defeated Vincent. You should spare no time, leaving as soon as you can tomorrow. I wish you both good luck.”
_ Torchic and Squirtle stayed the night in the village at Alakazam’s residence, getting an early sleep so they could leave as soon as possible. Hopefully they will be joined by one who supports their cause…

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:17 pm
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So far its wonderful. But the chapters are long. :D {torchic} {squirtle}

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Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:03 pm
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Chapter 5 (revised)

_ Dawn was upon them. Torchic and Squirtle were up like a shot. They bade Alakazam a short farewell, and headed to the northeast. Here there was a dense forest which, if it was any denser, would block out the sun. Torchic and Squirtle trudged through the underbrush, with Torchic keeping a steady flame as a light. Then suddenly, they heard a scream.
_ “Hurry, Squirtle, someone is in trouble!” shouted Torchic.
_ “Right behind you, friend!”
_ When they got closer to the scream, they saw a young Chikorita being harassed by a tribe of Mankey.
_ “Ah, ouch, leave me alone, you meanies! Someone help me!”
_ Squirtle boldly proclaimed “Hey! You leave her alone, nasty brutes!”
_ The Mankey all turned around to face the one who dared to stand against them. As they turned, Torchic noticed the Mankey who had assailed them before, the claw marks still bleeding. “Eep! Eep! You! You gave me these cuts!”
_ “Eep! Eep! Revenge!” the tribe responded in several loud whiny voices.
_ A Primeape came out from a bush nearby. “So, it was you who gave him those gashes. Oo oo OO OO OO OO!! This is unforgivable! For this I will kill you. Oo oo OO!!”
_ All the Mankey stepped back, the Chikorita still their hostage. Torchic and Squirtle stood their ground, but the chieftain said “No, turtle. You will not fight me. This is between me and the bird. Restrain him! OO OO!!” Instantly several able-bodied Mankey sprung up from the rest and grabbed Squirtle, pulling him back to the edge of the ring. Squirtle tried to escape, but it was to no avail. It was a one-on-one between Torchic, only several days old, and Primeape, who had the look of a life-long fighter.
_ (I’ll have to use wits to defeat him. Fortunately he doesn’t seem too smart,) thought Torchic. (I must find out how to use his strength against him.) Primeape charged at Torchic, fists outstretched. Torchic, taking advantage of his small size, dived to the side and raked at Primeape’s hip as he charged by. Like a maddened beast, Primeape turned around and charged at Torchic again, but Torchic dived to the other side and slashed Primeape’s other hip. His legs bleeding, Primeape ran at Torchic, fists at his chest. Torchic ducked as Primeape kicked to his left side, hoping to catch Torchic. But his foot slipped on the ground and he soared into the air briefly, then falling straight onto Torchic. That would have killed Torchic had his talons not been facing skyward. Primeape was upon Torchic, trying to crush him with his superior weight, despite the fact that his injuries would get worse. Torchic was about to cave in from lack of stamina, and Squirtle became enraged. “No, Torchic! NO!” He struggled as hard as he could to break free, but the Mankey’s strength overpowered him. Finally, mustering all his energy, he blasted a Water Gun at Primeape so forceful that Torchic’s talons cut across Primeape’s back as the large ape was blasted backward. Falling on his back, Primeape collapsed, exhausted. He could fight no more.
_ “Hooray!” Torchic shouted. “We won!”
_ “Now, release Chikorita!” Squirtle demanded.
_ One of the Mankey spoke up. “Eep! We will not forget this! Eep!” They vanished into the treetops, leaving Chikorita unscathed.
_ “Are you alright?” Torchic asked.
_ “Yes, I think I am. You are my heroes!” Chikorita answered with glee. “I could never have done what you did.”
_ “Now that their leader has been defeated, they won’t bother us again,” Squirtle said. “We should probably bandage his wounds.” The three set to work on healing his cuts and bruises. When the Primeape finally came to, he said “Why…do you do this…for me?”
_ “We didn’t want to fight you, much less kill you,” replied Torchic. “We can’t leave you for dead.”
_ Instantly the Primeape sprang up, and answered “Oo OO OO OO! You have done me a gratitude. Take this whistle. If you want us, we come! Oo oo OO OO!!” With that he left behind a whistle and sprang into the trees.
_ “ ‘If you want us, we come.’ What does that mean?” Chikorita pondered.
_ “Well since we spared his life he will repay us anyway we can. But we should only use this whistle if we have to,” Torchic suggested.
_ “Torchic, Squirtle, can I ask you something?”
_ “Yes, Chikorita. Of course.”
_ “I want to join you on your journey. If I go alone places I may get captured. But if I go with you I will be safe and perhaps even travel the world. Please, may I accompany you?”
_ “Yes, Chikorita! The more the merrier!” Torchic shouted.
_ So Chikorita joined Torchic and Squirtle on their journey to find the Violet Avenger. And will Primeape remain true to his word, or will the Mankey attack them again? Well, you will just have to find out…

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Sat Mar 17, 2007 9:17 am
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Just Crimson is fine, I'm honestly not as scary as I seem...I just have a foul temper. XD

And while script is good for seeing...or sometimes hearing, when you're reading it' isn't that good. The reader can't get a sense of where the characters are. If the dialogue is really good they may get a sense for the characters but not necessarily as well as the author had hoped for.

Reference the way some books are written, some other stories online [there are a bunch of good ones not on PsyPoke out there] I could help you look for some resources. Experimenting is a what writing is about in the beginning. Finding your style, growing comfortable in it so you can grow and improve.

But seriously, at the end of a paragraph hit enter twice. That'll break up the chapters and make reading the story a whole lot easier.

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Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:25 pm
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Chapter 6 (revised)

_ The threesome made good time. The following morning they were leaving the forest. There was a vast plain, the green expanding in all directions. Here the path had faded, far away from Central Village. Shortly after they entered the field Chikorita posed a question.
_ “So, why are the two of you journeying together?” she said.
_ “I’m looking for my parents. I never knew them…” Torchic said.
_ “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…” Chikorita replied.
_ “We heard from Alakazam that his parents live near a volcano,” said Squirtle, “which has fallen under a tyrant named ‘Wyvern King Vincent’.”
_ “And now we’re going to visit the Pokemon who defeated him before. He lives in a swamp,” finished Torchic.
_ They walked through the field, inhaling the refreshing fragrances of the plants. Soon they were walking straight into a fog. Not wanting for something unpleasant to happen, they treaded slowly and cautiously. When the fog cleared, they were no longer in the meadow…they were in a swamp. Everything was colored a sickly teal shade – plants, water, trees – everything within sight was teal. They also noticed Lotad and Lombred abounding in and near the water. There was no clear way through the swamp, so they looked for the way that avoided most of the water. Torchic found it very uncomfortable when they had to wade to go deeper into the swamp.
_ Suddenly Torchic began to feel woozy.
_ “Can we stop for lunch? I’m feeling light-headed…” he protested.
_ Then he sighted the remains of a campsite. There was a small fire pit, some old ragged tents, as if some unfortunate souls had ventured into the swamp and were snatched from their beds. All agreed it looked positively creepy, but at least it was on dry land. As they were eating, they heard the rustling of leaves. Even though it was barely audible, Chikorita heard it.
_ “What was that? Who’s there?” she demanded, shouting into the brush.
_ “Chikorita, what are you doing?” Squirtle wondered.
_ “Someone is here! I heard the leaves move! Ah! There it is again!”
_ Torchic was up in a shot, and he heard it too. Moving closer toward each other, the threesome posed for a fight. As they got together, immediately something sprang from the water and sealed them into a bag! They all screamed. Well, you would too, if something scary snatched you into a bag. However Torchic’s plumage still glowed even in the darkness of the bag, and the murkiness of the swamp. Then part of the bag began to soak in swamp water. Torchic tried to avoid it anyway possible and also began to claw at the bag. But the fibers were too tight and it was of no use. As the bag took on more and more water, the three closed their eyes and inhaled air, possibly for the last time…

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:26 pm
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Interesting plot, I guess, but the story seems to move a little too fast. I think I'd like to see it continued, though.


Tue Mar 20, 2007 2:25 pm
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Blaxxberry, I am currently avidly working on this story, however I am keeping it at a steady 1 chapter per day rate, allowing plenty time for replies (currently I have just finished Chapter 12). Anyway here's Chapter 7:

Chapter 7 (revised)

_ As the water filled the bag to the brim, all three lost consciousness because of the putrefying odor of the water. They could feel the water rushing past them as they slipped out of reality…
_ When they awoke they found they were in a small wooden shack. There was a table, a few chairs, cupboards – like the house was like one big kitchen. Chikorita then noticed there was a side room leading into a bedroom, with three small beds. The table was set for four, but the owner was absent for the time being. As they took in their surroundings, the door opened. A large Pokemon appeared and asked “You wanted to see me?” The figure stepped into the house and closed and locked the door. He looked like one who had lived in the water all his life. He had a huge tail fin, spiky orange gills on his cheeks, and two large frill-like fins on his head leading down to his bright orange eyes that seemed to pierce through your soul. And he was bright purple all over.
_ Torchic spoke up. “You’re the Violet Avenger…”
_ “Yes I am. How did you hear of me?” the Swampert responded.
_ “We heard from Alakazam in Central Village that you were the one who defeated Wyvern King Vincent.”
_ “Yep, that’s me all right. But, how did you know about Vincent?”
_ “He’s usurped control of the volcano where Torchic’s parents live,” Squirtle piped in.
_ “He’s back there again?” the Avenger asked.
_ “Again?”
_ “He took control of the volcano before, way back in the day. It was almost 20 years ago…I learned how he could be defeated, but not killed, apparently…”
_ “How? HOW?? Alakazam never told us!” Torchic began to get impatient.
_ “I will tell you as we eat dinner.”
_ As they ate dinner, Swampert told his story:
_ I first heard about Wyvern King Vincent about a friend of mine who lived there. He said it was almost impossible to escape that place so he sent a letter that had to be smuggled out. Eventually Ludicolo, a friend of mine, brought the letter here. I was outraged of this so I wanted to know how I could defeat him. I learned that I had to find the Armor of Legends. Those were scattered on four islands off of the mainland. Getting that armor was not easy – to get that armor you have to prove yourself worthy by defeating every known legendary Pokemon, who have made their homes on those island. To the northwest was Flight Island, to the southwest was King Island, to the northeast was Element Island, and to the southeast was Mind Island. In all I had to fight 22 Pokemon. Then it was time to rid the land of the Wyvern King. With the full set of armor I fought Wyvern King Vincent on the volcano, in a heated exchange of blows. Vincent is slightly bigger than I am, with a wingspan as long as he is tall, and a spear that could run a Snorlax all the way through. Despite the odds being against me I managed to catch him off guard and slammed him down into the volcano. But obviously that must not have worked because it’s been 20 years and now he’s back.
_ “And Alakazam thinks you may be the one to stop Vincent?” Swampert asked Torchic.
_ “Yes, he said since you were shiny and I was shiny there might be a link,” Torchic responded.
_ “Do I smell flowers?” Chikorita asked Swampert.
_ “You’re good. I keep flowers of my own. Even though the plants were dead the flowers were beautiful, so I keep them myself and plant seeds. I keep a lot of violets because that is my ‘calling card’.”
_ “Can I have a calling card?” Torchic wished.
_ “Yes, of course. You can be…the Golden Avenger,” Swampert answered, and produced a dozen goldenrods. “There’s more where that came from. Why not stick one in your plumage, to show who you are?”
_ Torchic, gleeful by the proposal, only felt too happy to accept. Swampert led them back out of the swamp, marking on their map where the islands were – and providing what seemed like a gazillion goldenrods. They knew that soon they would face the toughest foes of their lives…

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Last edited by DNA on Mon Apr 09, 2007 5:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Tue Mar 20, 2007 3:58 pm
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Why on earth are you rushing? Take your time, enjoy writing it. You shouldn't force yourself to write so quickly. Writing that fast should be because you're excited about the story and you can't help but want to write more and more and more. People may be saying they want to read the next chapter soon but they certainly don't want to read a slap-shod chapter. You'd lose all the fan base you had and you won't be nearly as satisfied with your writing as you could've been if you had taken your time.

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Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:36 pm
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I'm not rushing. The ideas are just spurting out of my head like a sink flowing over. Besides, I'm not really concerned about any "fan club", just so long as I have fun with it. But here's Chapter 8:

Chapter 8 (revised)

_ They were finally out of the swamp. Entering back into the field, they debated their next course of action. Since they were heading south, they agreed that their first destination should be King Island, but they had no idea where to obtain a seaworthy vessel. Then it hit him. I mean, it hit Squirtle.
_ “I remember a port being very near here. My father went on a lot of voyages from that port. The sea is in his blood…and so it is in mine too.”
_ “Could you lead us there?” asked Chikorita.
_ “Sure. But, we should pick up supplies…From the locations that Violet gave us, it is at least a 2 day trip between each island, and a 1 day trip from the mainland. That warrants at the least a week at sea.”
_ Then Chikorita confessed why the Mankey were after her – she was loaded. It turns out she was the daughter of a rescue team member who was very rich. With money like that, they could last a year on supplies. Why she would carry THAT much money on her Pokemon (like ‘on her person’), she admitted it was pure foolishness – now turned in their favor, so it seems.
_ When they got to a large hill, Squirtle remembered that the large town of Westport was at the bottom of the hill. From there they could head out to the four islands, gather the armor, and rid Vincent from the land. As they arrived in Westport, a Quagsire noticed them right away.
_ “Squirtle!” it said. “I have not seen you in a long time! Is your father well?”
_ “Yes, friend Quagsire,” replied Squirtle. “My father is still very much alive.”
_ “Great!” Quagsire answered, clearly enthused. “So, do you need a boat? And, for what reason?”
_ “Yes, indeed we do need a boat. We are…” Squirtle was cut off by Torchic, marching in front of him, eyebrows dipping toward his beak, his golden plumage glittering in the midday sun and reflecting the light onto his goldenrod. He made his statement short and to the point.
_ “I’m going to kill Vincent,” he shouted curtly.
_ The Quagsire was taken aback, stunned in disbelief for a moment. “Kill Vincent? Are you serious?”
_ Torchic replied, his speech just as fierce as before. “Yes, deadly serious. That fiend has enslaved my parents, and I am going to return the favor.”
_ Squirtle felt a chill run up and down his spine. He thought, Is this the same Torchic? The Torchic, not born even a week ago, is now asserting himself in a way quite unlike him? He began to feel a little scared.
_ “Well, I don’t give my ships out to just anyone,” the Quagsire responded, his voice shaky. “Especially if you’re going to go to those islands.”
_ Chikorita stepped forward and produced a purple flower. “Recognize this?”
_ “So, you have met Swampert! If he sent you here he must have great faith in you. Well then, so do I. I will give you my finest vessel, piloted by the best crew in all the land.”
_ “Thank you very much, sir,” said Torchic, his voice returned to its usual cheeriness. As he said this, Squirtle’s fears were allayed.
_ The crew was indeed fine. Water Pokemon of all kinds were on this crew. Poliwrath were there to start the ship and man the sails. Dewgong were there to move the ship through thick pack ice. There was a regiment of Crawdaunt to provide all the food. And, should the need arise, there were some Blastoise as arsenal experts. And because Squirtle went on his father’s voyages, he knew them every one. Torchic offered the command of the ship to Squirtle, who began to give orders to the crewmen. As they were preparing for departure, Torchic waited for Chikorita to purchase their necessary supplies, even though they would probably catch plenty of fish at sea.
_ “You ready, Chikorita?” Torchic beckoned.
_ “Yes, just about, Torchic,” she shouted. As they bordered the ship, Chikorita quietly slipped the Quagsire a small cloth bag. Quagsire opened it and found it full of money. He turned to thank the girl, but they were long gone, toward the southwest. Would they be prepared for the battles ahead? Only time will tell…

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:58 pm
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Chapter 9 (revised)

_ Good fortune accompanied them on their voyage to King Island. They had a tailwind speeding up their progress, and Squirtle estimated that they would reach King Island by early evening. When the land was on the horizon, Torchic looked back upon it, concentrating on a vast mountain range, with one mountain redder and darker than the rest.
_ “Thinking of your parents?” Chikorita appeared alongside him.
_ “Yes,” answered Torchic. “I wish I would not have to go through something like this. I wish no one would have to go through something like this…”
_ “I cannot begin to feel your pain,” Chikorita responded. “That must have been the reason Squirtle accompanied you. He felt sorry for you, and wanted to get your parents back. Just as much as you do, Torchic – he does this with the same fervor as if it were his own parents in danger. He cares for you, Torchic.”
_ “You’re right,” replied Torchic. “And I will do the same for him, anytime, anywhere. And for you too, Chikorita.”
_ “Thank you, Torchic,” she replied. “It does us good that you lead us.”
_ It was almost sunset. Everyone stepped on deck to see the palette in the sky, eagerly anticipating one tomorrow just as beautiful. Then one of the Dewgong spotted something in the corner of his eye. “Look! Over there!” he said, and pointed into the distance. He was pointing south. There, a colossal mountain jutted out of the sea, almost as if an earthquake had devastated all the others around it. There were plants growing along the sides, and a building protruding upward from the rock was barely visible.
_ They had reached King Island.

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:59 am
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Chapter 10 (revised)

_ King Island was unlike anything they’d ever dreamed of. It was like some ancient monument which withstood the test of time, with an inviting air beckoning all to explore its mysteries. They found an inlet and docked there. It was almost too dark to see, so the threesome set off quickly into the evening while the crew stayed on board. They rushed to the building and set to work clearing the brush, either by burning, chopping, or just plain yanking. When there was an entrance big enough to squeeze through, they entered the mysterious structure. Inside was a small room with three doors, and each door had seven dots in a pattern above it. The first pattern looked like an H, the second like a bisected line, and the third like a hexagon. In the middle was a little pedestal with a small sculpture on it shaped like a sword on a stand.
_ “What could those dots mean?” questioned Squirtle.
_ “Well, Squirtle,” responded Torchic, “we’ll have to find out for ourselves.” However all three doors were closed. Squirtle went to lift up the little marble carving of the sword. He found some very small words underneath it. Torchic read them aloud.

“Dare you to come to King Island,
Adventurers, your battles await!”

_ As he said the word ‘await’, the H door opened and a rumbling ensued. Chikorita was knocked off balance by the tremor but soon it subsided and she got up again. Behind that door was a spiral staircase. Taking this as a lead, the team went down, and down, and down, and down…It got to the point where everything was shrouded in darkness, but once again Torchic’s plumage shone as illumination. Then they saw a torch on the wall. As they descended they saw another, and another, and then the staircase stopped. There was a wooden door at the bottom. They were afraid to open the door for fear of what was behind it, but Torchic stood up and opened the door with his foot. And behind that door was something that looked like a storybook character. It was composed entirely of rocks. Its shoulders and what would have been hands were large double-pyramid shaped boulders. Its feet were rather stubby and its torso was composed of rock shards, about as big as a fist each. And where its head was there was a rock shaped like a hill, and in the middle of it were seven dark brown dots – its eyes – in the shape of an H. It spoke.
_ “I AM REGIROCK, GUARDIAN OF KING ISLAND. WHO ARE YOU?”
_ Chikorita and Squirtle cowered back in fear, but Torchic stood his ground.
_ “I am the Golden Avenger, head of Team Avengers,” he boldly proclaimed. “I am on a quest to kill Wyvern King Vincent and free my parents from his oppressive gauntlet.”
_ “AH, LIKE THE PURPLE ONE THAT CAME BEFORE?” Its mechanical voice took on a jolly tint. “YOU KNOW YOU WILL NOT GET THE REGI SWORD WITHOUT DEFEATING ME AND MY BROTHERS, DO YOU?”
_ “We are well aware of that, Regirock. And we will defeat you!”
_ “PREPARE YOURSELF, TEAM AVENGERS. THIS WILL BE NO WALK IN THE PARK!”
_ Instantly it rushed forward, swinging his boulder hand at Torchic. Torchic barely dodged the boulder, for, even though Regirock was slow, its boulder hand was huge and hard to dodge for someone as small as Torchic. Chikorita saw an opening and attacked Regirock with a Razor Leaf. Regirock bounced back, a part of its body chipped off. Squirtle then nailed the gap with a Water Gun. Regirock stumbled but the missing piece of its body gravitated toward Regirock and replaced itself, as if it had a mind of its own. Then several pieces of Regirock launched toward the crew like flying knives. Chikorita stopped several pieces with repeated Vine Whips while Squirtle used Bubble to trap others. However one piece evaded the attacks and nailed Torchic in the shoulder. He screamed in agony as Squirtle tried to wrench the piece free. Meanwhile Chikorita advanced swiftly and menacingly upon Regirock, slashing away with Razor Leaf. It was forced back to the wall but still it refused to give in, swinging a boulder at Chikorita. With superhuman strength Chikorita braced against the blow as Squirtle braced on the boulder’s other side, pinning it to the spot. Torchic, seeing Regirock distracted trying to extricate itself, climbed up its craggy body and pecked it in all seven eyes. It recoiled like lightning, its boulders holding its face trying to relieve the pain of the gouging, but it was to no avail. Regirock fell down on its body, looking almost as if it were crying.
_ Team Avengers stepped back several paces, wondering if the fight was over yet. However Regirock got up and spoke, stammering from pain.
_ “Y-YOU HAVE B-BESTED ME, TEAM AV-VENGERS. WHAT A NOBLE B-BATTLE.”
_ “It was no easy feat,” responded Torchic. “But now what do we do?”
_ “NOW YOU MUST FACE THE SECOND OF US, REGICE. BEWARE OF HIM, AVENGERS – HIS MIND IS COOLER THAN HE IS.”
_ Regirock opened part of the wall and a click was heard.
_ “THERE. REGICE HAS BEEN AWAKENED. NOW I MUST SLEEP.”
_ It fell backward, its eyes dimming, as if it were some clockwork puppet. Torchic and friends climbed up the vast spiral staircase, to find that the door with the bisected line pattern had opened. Behind it lay another spiral staircase.
_ “Well, we defeated Regirock,” spoke Chikorita. “What do you think Regice is like?”
_ “Since Regirock was made out of rocks,” said Squirtle, “then Regice must be made out of ice.”
_ “That’s not favorable for me,” the young girl replied.
_ “The last battle was unfavorable for me but favorable for both of you. This one will be favorable to me, however,” exclaimed Torchic. “Let’s see if Regice can stand the heat…” Yes, let us see if Regice can stand the heat…

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Last edited by DNA on Mon Apr 09, 2007 5:07 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:38 pm
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Chapter 11 (revised)

_ They descended the spiral staircase. The farther they went, the chillier it became, and the more anemic they got. At last Chikorita collapsed and could go no further. Squirtle agreed to take her back up the staircase then come back down immediately. While Chikorita was recovering, Squirtle and Torchic entered the door at the bottom. Instantly they felt as if they walked into some freezer. There was something made completely of ice spikes. Four smaller spikes were on its back. One large spike comprised its body. Two smaller spikes pointed down to the ground as ‘legs’. From the largest spike came two small columns with three stubby spikes each on the ends. And at the top of the body spike were seven yellow eyes in the shape of a bisected line. It floated several inches above the ground, moved forward slightly, and then spoke in a similar mechanical voice to Regirock’s.
_ “I AM REGICE, GUARDIAN OF KING ISLAND. YOU HAVE DEFEATED REGIROCK. WHO ARE YOU?”
_ “I am the Golden Avenger,” replied Torchic, “and this is my companion Squirtle. We are on a quest to slay Wyvern King Vincent and to gather the Armor of Legends. If we must fight you, then so we shall.”
_ “IF YOU CANNOT STAND THE COLD, THEN LEAVE THIS PLACE!”
_ But instead of Regirock, who rushed forward, Regice just floated there, almost inviting Torchic to attack. Torchic rushed it, attempting to peck at its eyes too, but as he climbed up Regice he felt his claws slip and slid to the ground, feeling even weaker. Regice conjured an Icy Wind knocking Torchic back into Squirtle. Squirtle, dazzled from the impact, sent a Water Gun at Regice, but the water froze before it could reach him.
_ “I AM CLOAKED IN AIR AT NEGATIVE 325 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT. YOU WILL HAVE TO TRY HARDER THAN THAT!” It taunted them.
_ Torchic shot an Ember that nicked part of Regice’s body clean through. However it was only a tiny bit and would require a lot more to weaken Regice, who blasted an Icy Wind more powerful than the last at Torchic and Squirtle. At this Squirtle fainted and recoiled into his shell, and most of Torchic’s feathers froze. But freezing the feathers gave them even more of a dazzling shine. So shiny that Regice couldn’t see. Torchic picked up Squirtle in his shell and hurled him at Regice. The shell was so powerful it knocked Regice back and the opposite reaction sent the shell back calmly toward Torchic, ready to throw again. However Torchic tried a more direct approach and breathed red-hot flames at Regice, holding Squirtle for protection. As Regice got weaker and weaker it concentrated energy and released it with a resounding boom! Torchic slung Squirtle’s shell behind him as he hurtled toward the wall. The shell merely buffered off the wall so neither Torchic nor Squirtle was hurt. In one last attempt to win Torchic threw Squirtle with all his might, knocking out Regice ‘cold’.
_ Its body was suspended lifelessly for a few moments, then it seemed to revive itself and called out, “BATTLING YOU WAS A PLEASURE TO SEE, AVENGER. HOWEVER YOUR STAY HERE IS NOT OVER YET. YOU MUST FACE THE LAST AND STRONGEST OF US.”
_ “Strongest?” said Squirtle as he woke up. “Who?”
_ “REGISTEEL,” it replied. “HE IS MORE POWERFUL THAN REGIROCK AND I. HE IS IMMUNE TO MOST ATTACKS. YOU MUST FIND HIS WEAKNESS.”
_ Then a small click was heard.
_ “THERE. REGISTEEL’S DOOR HAS BEEN OPENED. NOW LEAVE ME TO REST.” The life was gone from Regice’s eyes as its two leg-spikes, firmly planted on the ground, supported the rest of its body. Chikorita was back waiting for them in the main room of the strange building.
_ “Wow, you are back!” she exclaimed. “Was it hard?”
_ “I didn’t get to see,” said Squirtle. “But I kept feeling I was being banged about…”
_ “Uh…really?” Torchic replied, trying to sound innocent. “Whatever gave you that idea? Oh, and it was a little luck that helped me win…”
_ “Oh,” Chikorita answered. “Well, who’s behind that now-open hexagon door?
_ “Registeel,” answered Squirtle. “The strongest of the three!”

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:58 am
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Chapter 12 (revised)
NOTE: This chapter is very long.

_ A feeling of fear came upon them as they descended the third spiral staircase down to Registeel’s room. What could he be? The only thing they knew was that his seven eyes would be in a hexagon pattern, and that he would be made of metal. As they descended the stairs, they prepared for the toughest fight of the three guardians of King Island. They opened the door at the bottom, and there, standing before them, was something as bizarre as Regirock or Regice. In the middle of it were seven red eyes in a hexagon pattern, and it looked like the eyes had split open a large metal shell, which was part of its body, ending in a stubby waist and legs. On the sides of the shell were two arms ending in three fingers marked with red triangles. And, except for its eyes, triangle markings, head, and arms, it was light grey all over (the head and arms were dark grey).
_ “SO YOU HAVE COME AT LAST, TEAM AVENGERS. I AM REGISTEEL, FINAL GUARDIAN OF KING ISLAND. YOU HAVE FOUGHT MY BROTHERS WITH VALOR, NOW PREPARE TO BATTLE ME!”
_ Of course fighting it would be easier said than done. As Registeel advanced slowly, they wondered ‘How can we beat metal?’ Luckily since Registeel’s legs were so stubby, they had plenty of time to ponder, and test, the answer. Chikorita tried first with a Razor Leaf, but the leaves seemed to bounce off its metal body harmlessly. Still it advanced, quicker this time. Squirtle attacked it with a Water Gun, which, although more effective than the Razor Leaf, did little to slow Registeel down. Its momentum unfaltering, Registeel moved quicker and quicker towards the three, arms outstretched. As he got uncomfortably close he extended his hand and swiped at the three with a Metal Claw. Chikorita was damaged more than Squirtle or Torchic, the latter spewing flames in a split second. There was a hissing noise as if Registeel were melting. So fire was its weakness…Now they knew how to go about defeating Registeel. Chikorita stepped forward and made a Reflect while Squirtle and Torchic attacked their adversary in unison. Not seeing its foes, Registeel swiped wildly at air hoping to find its mark. As Squirtle and Torchic attacked again, Registeel could see clearly once again and began focusing his energies. It conjured an Ancientpower flinging a rock fist at Torchic knocking him out cold. Directing its attention to Chikorita, Registeel drew on Superpower knocking out Chikorita as well though weakening himself. Squirtle, now the only one left to fight, called upon his nimbleness to see himself through. He flew through the air straight at Registeel and recoiling into his shell. Registeel slashed at him but to no effect as it stumbled backwards. Squirtle, taking advantage of his present momentum, bounced off the wall straight at Registeel’s stubby legs. It tripped up backwards. Unable to get up, Registeel took advantage of his large reach to attack Squirtle but still it could not win. Squirtle slammed one more time straight at Registeel’s face at maximum momentum. The fight was out of it. Registeel was defeated.
_ At that moment Torchic and Chikorita woke up and also Regirock and Regice came into the room. Apparently there was a tunnel connecting all three rooms so they did not need to use the stairs. As they helped Registeel up, Regirock said,
_ “YOU HAVE FOUGHT MOST VALIANTLY, TEAM AVENGERS. YOU HAVE BESTED THE GUARDIANS OF KING ISLAND.”
_ “I SEE THE MARK OF A HERO IN YOU,” Regice continued. “ONE DAY YOU SHALL DEFEAT THIS VINCENT.”
_ “BUT NOT WITHOUT RECEIVING THIS PIECE OF ARMOR,” Registeel spoke. “COME. WE WILL SHOW YOU.”
_ They followed the three giants through the tunnel to a secret back room directly opposite Regice’s room. And in there was a pedestal, and upon that pedestal was something unbelievable. It was a sword, straighter than straight, with a trimmed hilt studded with gems and decorated with gold, and the metal of the blade was harder than steel. In fact the metal was part of Registeel.
_ “WE EACH PUT A PART OF OURSELVES INTO THIS SWORD,” stated Registeel. “IT IS THE REGI SWORD, AND WE EACH MADE IT. I PROVIDED THE METAL FOR THE BLADE.”
_ “THE GEMS WERE INSIDE MY ROCKS. I EXTRACTED THEM,” continued Regirock.
_ “AND I SHARPENED AND MOLDED THE METAL TO BE THE KEENEST BLADE IN EXISTENCE,” finished Regice.
_ “But, aren’t sword blades molded with fire?” asked Squirtle.
_ “AH, YES, SOME BLADES ARE,” answered Regice. “BUT YOU HAVE FELT FIRE, AND YOU HAVE FELT ICE. FIRE HAS NO FORM, IT IS JUST HOT. BUT ICE IS NOT ONLY COLD, IT IS SHARP. SEE, FEEL MY SPINES.” It pointed to the spines on his back. Indeed they were incredibly sharp – sharp enough to make Torchic afraid to touch them.
_ “AND WE HAVE ONE OTHER PARTING GIFT,” said Registeel. “TAKE THREE STEPS BACK.” The three did as they were told. Registeel held the sword aloft. “NOW YOU WILL BE MORE POWERFUL, MORE RESILIENT, AND MORE INCREDIBLE FOR THE BATTLES AHEAD. KNOW NOW THIS…COMBUSKEN.”
_ “Comba-what?” asked Torchic. Then the answer became apparent. A light shone on Torchic and his friends. It shone for a full 10 seconds. When the light parted, they all felt unquestionably different. They felt taller, more powerful, more resilient, and Torchic felt that he had muscular arms and legs.
_ (You may think, doi, they evolved. But remember, Team Avengers so far has no knowledge of this.)
_ “NOW LOOK INTO THE SWORD BLADE, IT REFLECTS. BUT, DO NOT BE SURPRISED.” Registeel beckoned them forward. As they looked into the sword blade in turn, it was hard not to be surprised. This was expressed by a loud scream – actually three screams in unison.
_ “AH!” screamed Chikorita. “What happened to us?”
_ “YOU HAVE BECOME MORE POWERFUL,” answered Regirock. “YOU ARE NO LONGER TORCHIC, SQUIRTLE, AND CHIKORITA. NOW YOU ARE COMBUSKEN, WARTORTLE, AND BAYLEEF.”
_ “You mean, we have evolved?” asked Combusken.
_ “YES. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT THIS SWORD.”
_ “What is that?” posed Squirtle. Registeel answered.
_ “ONLY COMBUSKEN CAN HOLD THIS SWORD. FOR NOW IT MAY SEEM TOO HEAVY…” Combusken tried to pick it up and indeed it was too heavy. “BUT KNOW THERE WILL BE A DAY WHEN YOU CAN USE THIS SWORD EFFECTIVELY. IF ANYONE BESIDES TORCHIC, THE VIOLET AVENGER, OR US TRIES TO HOLD THIS SWORD, IT WILL SLIP OUT OF THEIR HANDS, AS THIS SWORD WAS ONLY MADE FOR TRUE HEROES WHO MANAGED TO DEFEAT US.”
_ “But my friends helped me to defeat you,” retorted Combusken. “Why can’t they hold the sword?”
_ “BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR QUEST, COMBUSKEN. IT IS YOUR MISSION TO FREE YOUR PARENTS FROM VINCENT, AND YOU MUST FIGHT HIM ALONE. THOUGH IT MAY SEEM UNFAIR, YOU WILL REALIZE THE SENSE IN TIME.”
_ “But if the sword is too heavy for me, how will I get it to the ship?”
_ “WE WILL ESCORT YOU OUT,” said Regirock.
_ Team Avengers followed the guardians out of the building and down to their ship. At first the crew was utterly shocked, but one of the Blastoise said “Hold your peace there? Can’t you see they are our friends?” Registeel walked below deck while Combusken followed. He placed it down in a small room. “THERE,” it said. “KEEP THE OTHER THREE PIECES OF ARMOR HERE, AND, WHEN YOU GET ALL FOUR, WEAR THEM AS A SYMBOL OF A HERO. NOW, I BID YOU FAREWELL, AS WE MUST SLEEP AGAIN.” Then the three guardians departed the ship without another word, perhaps to sleep again. The silence was broken by Wartortle commanding “North, my friends! To Westport!”

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Last edited by DNA on Mon Apr 09, 2007 5:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Mon Mar 26, 2007 10:09 am
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Chapter 13 (revised)

_ They began the voyage back to Westport to stock up on supplies before heading to Flight Island in the far northwest. Combusken and Bayleef were very much shocked at their new appearances and began actually rubbing themselves to see if they were really what they were. But Wartortle, who had lived among his kind all of his life, was undaunted from his duty as captain of the ship.
_ “This is astounding,” Combusken remarked. “But is this real?”
_ “Well, it must be,” replied Bayleef. “Is there any other explanation?”
_ “It most certainly is.” Wartortle came over, hearing the conversation.
_ “But how come you’re not so shocked by your new appearance, Wartortle?”
_ “I knew it would happen someday. Besides, I’ve lived with my kind all my life, and so I knew it would happen to them; I knew it would happen to me too.”
_ “Well, that does make perfect sense put like that.” Combusken began kicking the air with his legs, coursing with power. Bayleef, however, was scattering her attractive fragrance wafting through the air, revitalizing everyone’s spirits.
_ Dawn of the following day signaled their docking at Westport. There they found an unlikely visitor there – Swampert. He waved out to sea, and was greeted by a return wave. As they docked, Combusken and friends walked out to Swampert. He was accompanied by another Pokemon.
_ “My friends! How good it is to see you again!” said Swampert enthusiastically. “How did it fare? Which island did you go to first?”
_ “We went to King Island,” replied Bayleef.
_ “Good! May I see the sword?” asked Swampert. Clearly his memory had not faded from his heroic days. They consented and went below deck, with Swampert’s strange silent friend in tow. Down in the hold Swampert saw the Regi Sword. He picked it up and examined it in silence.
_ “This blade has not changed once in twenty years,” Swampert finally spoke. “The guardians have designed a fine work of art. You will be surprised at the rest of the armor as well, Team Avengers.”
_ “Team…What? How did you know that?” retorted Combusken.
_ “You can ask my friend Kadabra here,” came the answer.
_ Kadabra stepped forward. “Like Swampert, I have resided in the swamp, alone and secluded. But now that a new hero emerges to challenge Vincent, I want to join you. With me, you can communicate with Swampert even when he is far away. What do you say?”
_ “Knowing that,” answered Squirtle, “we would be happy to take you on board. I just hope you do not get seasick. Your presence will be very welcome.”
_ “Splendid,” replied Swampert. “And with that I must be off to the swamp. You would do well to go to Flight Island in the northwest. There you will find the Legend Breastplate. Farewell, my friends, and may we meet again…” He walked off casually toward his home. And with that, the crew, with Kadabra, set off again, this time to the northwest. The voyage was longer this time as they were only traveling at half the speed of their previous trip. On mid-morning of the next day, something was spotted on the horizon. It was an island, but unlike King Island, this island was very odd. It seemed to have three mountains, one of them a volcano, on the coast containing an entrance to an underwater cavern. There was also a plateau comprising three different entities with a mountain smack dab in the middle. And it seemed to be hot, have a constant thunderstorm, and freezing – all at the same time. It was one weird island, which, according to the map, was indeed Flight Island. What could reside on this island would be impossible to tell from far off. They would have to drop anchor and explore the island themselves. Which is just what they did.

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Last edited by DNA on Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Mar 27, 2007 11:43 am
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Chapter 14 (revised)

_ Afternoon brought the ship into an inlet on Flight Island. But first they pondered the question of where to go first. The mountains? The plateau? The cavern? It was all too confusing. Eventually they decided upon the mountains. They picked the mountain where the thunderstorm source was. Well, the alternatives were the blizzard source and the volcano, but, even though they would visit all eight places, they chose this as the place to start. The climb was none too steep, so the trek up the mountain path was relatively easy. Strangely, the thunderstorm struck nowhere near the mountain, almost inviting climbers to the top. As they ascended they debated over where to go next.
_ “Should we go to the plateau?” asked Bayleef.
_ “Or maybe the trench?” posed Wartortle.
_ “Or maybe the very high mountain?”
_ “Possibly the blizzard mountain?”
_ “I really think we should go to the high mountain.”
_ “No! We should go to the trench.”
_ “Yeah but we may have to go through water. That mountain gets close to the sun.”
_ “But, the sooner we do this, the quicker we leave.”
_ Combusken, however, did not say one word. He was sick of Bayleef and Wartortle bickering and decided to bring this debate to a screeching halt.
_ “Both of you, stop it! I am the leader and I say we go to the volcano, then the blizzard mountain! Until then, no questions asked! Understood?”
_ The two of them nodded in stunned silence. They continued their climb up the mountain, and up, and up, and up…At last they reached the top. The thundercloud was not far above them. The top of the mountain was somewhat large and perfectly flat, like it had been chiseled. Then a loud ear-splitting screech filled the air. Something had flown down from within the thundercloud! It was unquestionably a bird, but it was spiky all over, was a vivid yellow save the black color under its wings, and incredibly sharp talons and beak. It was as tall as Wartortle once over again. It spoke, and as it spoke it squawked.
_ “Three travelers! Who are you to tread upon my realm?”
_ “I ask you the very same question,” reflected Combusken with an equally serious tone as this other bird.
_ “This is my realm and I ask the questions here! Who are you, and why are you here?”
_ “We are Team Avengers and we travel the world in search of the Legend Armor to defeat the tyrannical Wyvern King Vincent, like the Swampert before us. Who are you?”
_ “So you know the Swampert who came here 20 years ago! I am Zapdos, and this mountain is mine!”
_ “We come seeking the Legend Breastplate,” stepped forth Wartortle. “If necessary, we will fight you.”
_ Zapdos squawked. “Ha! Bold words from a Water type! Knowing your disadvantage, you dare to challenge me?”
_ The Avengers nodded without a word. The response came in the form of a thunderbolt toward Wartortle. Wartortle quickly skimmed to the side as Zapdos launched another thunderbolt at Combusken, who used his muscular legs to propel himself upward, delivering a High Jump Kick to Zapdos’ head. Zapdos in response sent throughout his body an electrical surge, which, if Combusken was still touching Zapdos, would have knocked him out. The Avengers had to think on their feet. Now knowing their new adversary, they realized all three at them were at a heavy disadvantage. They would have to rely heavily on evasiveness and brainpower. But first they had to wait for Zapdos’ next move. They did not have to wait long. A thunderbolt was sent straight for Wartortle, but instead of dodging it, Wartortle was suddenly stunned by fear. Knowing his imminent fate, he closed his eyes and prepared for the blow. But strangely, he felt no pain. Bayleef had intercepted the blow and was using her leaf as a lightning rod, directing the energy straight into the ground. Combusken, seeing Zapdos surprised, seized the moment and rushed up to kick Zapdos’ underside and send it falling forwards into the ground. It worked perfectly – no possible flaw was found. Zapdos was stunned for a minute, and then got up, squawking again.
_ “Ha! That was truly excellent! I have not had a fight like that in ages!”
_ “You mean we’ve won?” asked Bayleef.
_ “Yes! Now climb down the mountain, and ascend the volcano. My friend is waiting for you there.” And with that Zapdos flew straight into the thundercloud. The trio descended the mountain and headed for the volcano, preparing for a fight with a powerful Fire type.

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Last edited by DNA on Sat May 05, 2007 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:03 pm
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Wow...10 chapters in a row with no feedback at all...Anyway here's Chapter 15! (revised)

_ A feeling of fear suddenly gripped Combusken as they climbed up the volcano trail. He tried to shrug it off but it refused to let go. It was too much for him – he had never been this afraid of something he didn’t even know what he was afraid of. It was as if a Haunter had suddenly gripped him and calling out his cowardice. Then Wartortle attacked Combusken with a Water Gun. Combusken screamed suddenly then found out a rogue Haunter really had been gripping at his emotions. With that over they continued the ascent. Up to a hot place that it was hard to breathe in, so they found out. It was outrageously hot, even too hot for Combusken, and there was so many fumes into the air they found even breathing to be painful. What the heck could live up here, anyway? The suspense was so thick you could cut it with a sword. Well someone cut it anyway because another bird came from the volcano’s crater. This bird was like and yet unlike Zapdos at the same time. It was larger than Zapdos, was a bright orange color, and its wings were tipped with flames, along with its tail and a flame upon its head. Yet it had the same loud squawk.
_ “And who might you three be, to brave the trek up my mountain?”
_ “Gah…Mountain nothing!” gasped Bayleef. “This place is like a…” Then she fainted from the noxious air.
_ “I am Moltres, lord of the volcano! And you are…?”
_ “Combusken, here to defeat you for the breastplate you guard.”
_ “Is that so? Then…Come to me!”
_ Moltres swooped up and grabbed Bayleef, only to deposit her unconscious form on a ledge slightly below the peak. It seemed that it did not want to cause Bayleef any undue harm, as she could not fight. But for Combusken and Wartortle? Moltres was going all out. Immediately it blasted out a Flamethrower spreading wide across to its two opponents. Wartortle ducked into his shell while Combusken held back the attack with a guard, then bounced it back at Moltres, who thought that Flamethrower was not the way to win. It swooped back into the sky, only to come back on for the attack, talons outstretched! As Moltres got close, Combusken stood on his hands, leaving his feet in the air. When Moltres was not a foot away from Combusken, he heaved his feet into Moltres’ chest, but its momentum caused its talons to surge forward. Combusken knew this would happen so he jumped up and slammed Moltres to the ground, just like he slammed Zapdos. However Moltres quickly extricating itself, ignoring the pain his aggressor’s talons caused to his chest. It began to glow then soared up into the dark cloud of fumes overhead. About ten seconds later a glowing missile soared at sonic speed straight at Combusken! He knew there was no way to avoid this, so he did the only thing he could think of. Launch the strongest kick he could possibly muster and finish the battle. As Moltres came surging toward him, he leaped up and kicked Moltres straight between the eyes. Moltres squawked and kept going, hurtling out of control until it finally fell off the mountain. About a minute passed before it soared back up. It appeared to still be wincing from the head wound.
_ “Ngh…Well done, Combusken. A true sign of a hero. Now go to the ice mountain. There then you will gain access to the trench beneath us.” Without another word Moltres soared back into the crater. Weary from the battle and the shortness of breath, Combusken wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Maybe then he would be better suited for his next fight, in a very cold place, but, fortunately, not as cold as Regice.

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Last edited by DNA on Sat May 05, 2007 10:06 am, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Mar 29, 2007 12:47 pm
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Chapter 16 (revised)

_ With two down and six to go, Combusken wearily climbed the ice mountain, but then collapsed from exhaustion soon after the start of the trek. He begged to rest and recover his strength, as using his energy to slam the two birds down had taken a lot out of him. He hoped his next foe would be Ice type so he wouldn’t have to try that tactic any time soon against a Flying type. He would be happy and disappointed, as his next opponent would be Ice type, but also be Flying type. And it will not take you (that’s right, I’m talking to you, the reader) two guesses to know this if you have a good knowledge of Pokemon. But he became even more disappointed at this…Bayleef was sick from the cold and would have to stay behind. Wartortle offered to stick back, offering the encouraging words: “It’s up to you my friend. Good luck!” And with that Combusken set off. The mountain was fortunately not that cold for Combusken, so he found the trek quite easy. When he got to the top, he slipped up almost immediately. The summit was flat but frozen. He’d have to think on his feet just to stay upright, let alone defeat his enemy, who emerged from the blizzard with the trademark squawk. This bird was blue all over, with a long blue tail, and a grey “beard” below his beak.
_ “Hm? Who might you be?” it asked.
_ “Who are you?” Combusken asked back.
_ “My name is Articuno, and this is my domain. Why do you dare to infiltrate my space?”
_ “I am the Golden Avenger,” he shouted, pointing to the goldenrod in his plumage, “and I am here for the Legend Breastplate. I have already defeated Zapdos and Moltres; now it’s your turn.”
_ “I think not! Come to me!”
_ “Then you think wrong,” Combusken retorted, his voice colder than his opponent. He blasted out a Flamethrower at Articuno, who managed to soar up avoiding it – well actually it singed the tip of its tail. Articuno retaliated with an Ice Beam, but Combusken jumped upward and countered with another Flamethrower, weakening Articuno severely. Articuno lashed out with another Ice Beam but Combusken nimbly dodged it and launched yet another Flamethrower. As a last-ditch effort, Articuno unleashed a blizzard on Combusken. There was no way to dodge this and Combusken was frozen. Yes, you heard me right. Frozen. A block of ice was just standing there with a shocked expression on the face of the victim. Articuno just stood there, savoring the moment, knowing that it had trounced a Fire type, its mortal enemy.

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Last edited by DNA on Sat May 05, 2007 10:07 am, edited 2 times in total.



Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:49 am
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i''ll give it a 8.2/10

the plot's ok, but like someone said before, it's a bit too much dialogue. i think u should describe their actions as well

also...
you should make chapters slower coming... it's not like ppl can go on the com everyday.

Add these tips, and your story will be great!

good story related a little bit to PMD

MANIACAL STORIES RULE!

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The Meadow's End
A new revived fanfic by me :D Come on and read its recent chapters! I'm motivated to continue if others are to read it~ :D

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FC: 4553-8854-9459

The Rating Centre CAN'T be dead... can it??


Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:30 pm
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Well I'm not really too worried about feedback, but yes people don't come on here every day. I thought at least someone would come like one visit each day (different people, not the same one). And yes, maniacal stories rule, like your Adventures of Mudkip. (You think my story's maniacal? How so?) But I refuse to disappoint so here comes Chapter 17.
(revised)

_ You may not be surprised to learn that this moment was very short lived. For as Articuno fell off, the ice melted from the intense internal body heat of Combusken, who countered with a Flamethrower sending Articuno spiraling to the ground, defeated. This assault had taken it completely by surprise. How could someone melt his ice? Perhaps he would never know. The only thing known was that it happened, and Combusken had won. Articuno staggered to its feet and squawked.
_ “Wonderful! That feat is practically impossible, to break from my ice! Very good! Because you have beaten the three of us, we will open the trench!” Articuno shot a blue beam to the sky. It was answered by a yellow beam and a red beam. They all targeted the same spot, which in turn shot a white beam directly downward into the trench in the middle of the three mountains.
_ “There. The seal blocking the trench has been broken. There, you will fight the guardian of the sea there. I bid you good luck. And now, farewell.” It flew off, and Combusken descended the mountain. Bayleef had fully recovered and was now fit for battle, along with Wartortle.
_ “We can go into the trench,” Combusken told them. “The guardian of the sea lies in wait for us there.”
_ “Is that so?” responded Wartortle. “Then, what are we waiting for! Let’s go!”
_ They approached the trench. There was a staircase that led underwater, seeming to go into the bowels of the earth. There was a mystical property about this water, and the three could sense it. They held their breath, descended, and wondered what the guardian would be like.

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Last edited by DNA on Sat May 05, 2007 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Mar 31, 2007 10:48 am
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