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 The Shiny Spheal 

Rate my Story, please.
1 (Needs lots of work) 20%  20%  [ 4 ]
2. (Needs some work) 25%  25%  [ 5 ]
3. (Decent, maybe a few things added) 30%  30%  [ 6 ]
4. Good 15%  15%  [ 3 ]
5. Wonderful. 10%  10%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 20

 The Shiny Spheal 
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Ace Trainer
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[color=violet]Once upon a time, in a clan of spheals, an only shiny spheal was born. At first, his parents thought maybe he was sick or something of that sort, so they thought nothing of his colour and raised him just like any other. Spheals grow fast, so in a matter of two weeks the little shiny Spheal, who they named Skippy, started adventuring outside of his burrow and began to mingle with the others. However, when Skippy tried to make friends or play with any of the other little Spheals, he was laughed at and made fun of. He didn

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Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:38 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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kinda childish it's good if that's wat ur aiming for

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Wed Jul 13, 2005 1:55 pm
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Ace Trainer
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I wanted to keep it at a Pg level type thing. To be appropriate for all audience.

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Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:19 pm
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Dragon Tamer
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That first part is quite good.

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Sun Jul 17, 2005 5:40 pm
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Ace Trainer
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Thanks.

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Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:31 pm
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Psychic Trainer
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thats pretty good swellowluvr! the ending of it i think is better; it could use some more excitement. then again....you just started overall 6.5/10. its pretty good, just a little action would help.

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Fri Jul 22, 2005 1:45 pm
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Ace Trainer
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I decided people liked the first part of the story enough, so I created a new part. Please comment on it.





[color=violet]As Skippy watched from the waterhole in his most terror, the Houndooms ripped and teared unmercifully at the clan. What seemed to go on for hours, Skippy witnessed the first time he had ever seen his home area in devastation. The Houndooms didn

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Tue Jul 26, 2005 2:18 pm
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