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 My Story Thread: The Rescue of Evolution... Mostly Kids 
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I got -10200 in Jeopardy
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:31 pm
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Location: Obsessing over my paper cranes (props to whoever gets this reference, no one will)
The Rescue of Evolution

CHAPTER 1

Once there was a wild clan of oddish that were awaiting the festival of evolution. The small clan hang oddish dolls from the branches and made bellossom murals out of flowers on the ground. They carved gloom shapes into mushrooms. After a hard day of decorating the forest looked beautiful. The oddish congratulated each other and then stopped, shocked as a wild arcanine ran through the bushes burning all the decoration as it went. Then a small man stepped out from behind a tree, laughing. "This forest will be a desert by the time I'm done with it!" Then the small man called to the arcanine to grab as many oddish as possible and run away. As there were only 6 oddish in the clan it wasn't very hard for the arcanine to bite down and kidnap 5 of the oddish. The last oddish named 'Belle' watched in horror as all her friends were taken away. She watched the man sprint away from the burnt and charred mess of the decorations of once would have been the festival of evolution. She looked around at the mess and looked at the trees, burnt. The grass, mushed. Then she saw a shadow. A small shadow in a little hollow of a tree. "Please don't hurt me." Belle cried and watched as the shadow came closer. Then the shadow came into the light and revealed itself as a small...


This isn't a community story so please don't continue it. I will be making chapter two later. It may not be a
community story but if you have suggestions on how to make the story better please do comment.

Chapter 2
...Eevee. The small eevee moved towards the Belle. Belle backed away, not sure whether to trust the eevee. "Please, don't be afraid. My name is Sea. Your clan just suffered the same fate my clan did only a few days ago." Said Sea.
"What do you mean the same fate?" Said Belle
"I mean that the same arcanine destroyed my clan's festival of evolution as well and took all of my clan except me. When I saw your clan get taken away I wanted to help you get them back. In return maybe you could help me get mine back?" Replied Sea.
"Maybe. Who was taken out of your clan?" Asked Belle.
Before Sea could reply a smoking tree toppled over separating them.
Sea jumped over and went back to his conversation with Belle.
"An espeon named 'trance, an umbreon named 'spectrum', a jolteon named 'volt', a leafeon named 'barky', a flareon named 'ember' and a glaceon named 'snowy'. I was the only eevee." Said Sea.
"So there wasn't a vaporeon?" Asked Belle?
"No there wasn't. A few years ago before I was born the vaporeon of our clan was taken by an evil women wearing a purple suit." Said sea
"Team Slime!" Yelled Belle.
"Yes, how did you know?"
"They took our only bellossom a few years ago."
"So. Our clans are connected. I wonder how many other pokemon clans have been destroyed?" Said Sea
"Who knows but we better start moving before this whole forest gets set on fire around us. Do you know where the arcanine went with our clans?"
"I don't know where he went but I know which direction he went in. Just follow the orange, charred road." Sea said as she pointed towards a small burning path that lead off towards twinleaf town...

Also if I missed some typos while editing could you please make me aware of where they are?



Just a quick heads up about chapter 3. I've started to go into first person for Belle's perspective. So from now on anything belle says or does will read as 'I ran towards the small man in anger' or ' I said in confusion'.


Chapter 3
I looked back at what was my home, now a flaming mess of vegetation.
I turn back to see Sea running further ahead.
"I see twinleaf town," she yells back to me. " I'm sure well find someone who can help us up there!"
I run as well but with my small legs it isn't very easy. We reach the entrance to twinleaf town and find it deserted. "Wait what's that on top of that building?" I ask.
"It looks like a cage." Sea answers.
I run towards the building and start to climb the lattice wall hanging from it. Sea joins me. The lattice wall starts to teeter and I worry it might fall. I continue up and reach the top. I star down at sea as she gets to about the half way mark. I see the nails holding the lattice budge slightly and one pops out. "Hurry!" I yell down to Sea. She is about 1 metre away from the top when 2 more of the nails pop out. "There's only one more nail! Hurry!" I yell once more.
She reaches the top as the last nail falls away. I grab her paw and she hangs there. I pull her up and we turn.
I look into the cage and see 6 shadows sitting. I hear crying and then the shadows emerge and move towards the cage bars. I see my friends; the 5 other oddish. I also see a leafeon. "Barky!" Yells sea. I see a large lock on the cage and look for the key. Then time stops as I see where the key is.

The key is wrapped around the arcanine that stole my clan.


Chapter 4
I stare down at the arcanine as Sea has a small reunion with Barky. The arcanine bounds towards uses I retreat towards the cage. "We have company" I say to Sea as the arcanine pushes against the wall and lets loose a deafening growl.as the arcanine gets to eye level with me I grab a stick and ask Sea to distract him. She then moves towards him and starts to use leer hoping to catch his attention. I approach with the stick silently as possible. I push my arm out and hope the stick makes it. I look to see Sea dodging the arcanine's attacks. I reach the arcanine's neck and push the stick under the string holding the key. I hope his thick, bushy fur masks my touch. I raise the stick and actually get the string over his neck. I hold the stick high. I turn to see Sea cornered at the edge of the roof and I flinch as the arcanine bites. I drop the stick and look as it falls to the ground. I look back to Sea and then back to the ground. "I can only make one decision" I think in desperation. I run to Sea's side and use leaf storm on the arcanine. Sea then runs at him and tackles the arcanine. As Sea tackles the arcanine she falls to the ground next to the key and grabs it. I then use leaf storm once more on the arcanine. It then falls to the ground, fainted. "All those leers weakened it." I yell down to Sea. Sea then proceeds to throw the key up and onto the roof. I grab it and walk to the cage containing my friends and Barky. I push the key in and twist. The door opens towards me and everyone rushs out. I instruct my friends to move back towards our home. I then ask Barky to come and help us rescue the rest of his clan. "Of course I will. Why wouldn't I?" Barky replies.
"We'll we better get moving then. Do you know where the others were taken too?" Yells Sea.
"The only thing I saw was flare on being taken to oreburgh with. I've been trapped in here for a few days now and a few hours ago these oddish came in with me." Replies Barky. We both climb down the building and meet up with Sea. We watch the oddish walk into the forest and we turn to see the sunset.
"We are better off quickly moving out into the path and finding a place to rest for the night." I say, with a yawn.
"Ok then." Sea and Barky reply. We walk off onto the path to oreburgh. As a few minutes pass we reach a fork in the road. I look up and see a small stone with a few carvings. I read them aloud,"one path leads to victory, the other leads to defeat. Think back through your mind, to get past quite a large bind."
"A bind? What does it mean bind?" Barky asks. A think for minute what it could mean the sun suddenly darkens. We turn to see a large seviper tower over us. It wraps around us and says. "This bind!"


Chapter 5

As the sun slowly lowers past the earths horizon I stare at the beautiful scene. Well it would be beautiful if a giant seviper wasn't wrapping us. We beg for him to let us go. I read back through the stone's carvings and think about all I know about seviper. "Do any of you know about my friend Zangooze? He follows me around sometimes and protects me from giant sevipers." I say thinking of a plan. Barky and Sea look at me confused and I wink letting them know to play along. "A Zangooze? I can take any Zangooze on and win bring it on." Yells the seviper. I watch as an actual Zangooze jumps thorough the tall grass and attacks the seviper. The distracted seviper lets us go and we run to the right, through the night. After a few minutes of running we reach the end of the path and get to a sandy beach. "We should stop here for the night and hope we don't get attacked again. I see a small rock cave and I approach it waving Barky and Sea over. "You guys stay here. I'll go search for some driftwood." I say, with another yawn. I walk off towards the edge of the water and gather a few pieces of wood. I see a large block of wood and a strange red and white ball. I also see a purple shape sitting next to the block of wood. I approach them with caution and grab the block of wood. It turns and twists as I pull. It stands up and barges me. It makes a loud noise and awakens the shape. I see the shape get up and reveal itself as a small girl. "Sudowoodo, what is it?" The girl asks. She turns and sees me and giggles in excitement. "Sudowoodo use rollout!" She instructs the block. The block throws a rock at me a few times and I dodge desperately. I use leaf storm on the block and it hits him, pushing the block further away. It falls to the ground and faints. I run away from the small girl and back to the cave grabbing wood as I go. I reach the cave and place the wood down. I find Barky already asleep and Sea looks up at me and sighs. "What happened to you?" She asks in wonder. "I think I just got battled?" I reply. As I say it I rise off the ground and a blinding light flashes around me. I shape shift like a ditto into the shape of a gloom. I switch between shapes and the light stops. I stare down at myself and find myself to still be an oddish. "I was so close to evolving!" I say in excitement, careful not to wake up Barky. "Goodnight" says Sea as she rolls over and snores. I fall to the ground and start to close my eyes and sleep. I awake to find a small fire burning and Barky and Sea eating some poffins they found on the ground next to the little girl I battled last night. I move to the fire and grab one of the poffins. I chew into it and explain what happened last night to Sea and Barky. I finish my poffin and we leave the cave and head towards oreburgh city. After a few hours of walking we make it to the gateway cave. We enter through the archway and find a few rocks and pebbles. We reach the end of the small cave and find the entrance to oreburgh. I walk to see this place abandoned too. Except for another small cage in the middle of the city. The cage is also surrounded by rocks. We walk to the cage and find this one with no lock. "Volt" yells Barky and Sea as they find a jolteon sitting in the. We open the door and Volt jumps out and warns us of the geodude around us. "What geodude?" We all reply. We turn to see all the 'rocks' float up and stretch their arms revealing themselves as pokemon. "We're surrounded" I say in disbelief.

I hope some people start to comment soon.

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So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Last edited by James86134 on Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:56 pm
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I got -10200 in Jeopardy
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:31 pm
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Location: Obsessing over my paper cranes (props to whoever gets this reference, no one will)
Chapter 6
As the wild geodude move towards us I see Barky use a move I've never seen before. "Barky what is that move?" "Giga drain." He replies. I use leaf storm on the approaching geodude and fend off a few. Sea starts to use tackle but it doesn't seem to be working very well. I fend off a few more as Volt from behind me uses brick break on another. "There's too many!" Says volt as he hits another.
"Hey, Barky do you know leaf storm?" I ask as I come up with a plan.
"As a matter of fact I do, but why?" He asks, unsure.
"Don't worry just use it on the count of three!" I reply confident of my plan
"...1" I say, as I stare out over the masses of geodude.
"...2" I say, as I see Sea and Volt retreat slowly towards the cage.
"...3!" I scream as Barky and I push the hoard of geodude away with our combined leaf storm.
I watch as all the geodude hit each other and push themselves into a large heap.
"Come one quickly guys, get away from here before they wake up!" I say happy that we completed one more step. We run for a few minutes out of oreburgh. We finally stop at a small grove of trees.
"So, Volt do you know where the others are?" Sea asks Volt.
"Well, I say that man take ember towards hearthome. He also had trance and snowy."
"Did he have spectrum?" Barky asked.
"No, the only thing I remember about spectrum is being taken, I haven't seen her since" Volt replied.
"Well, we better start heading towards hearthome." I say to finish the conversation.
We walk for a few hours passing a few pokemon every now and then. As the sun starts to set we decide to look for shelter. We find yet another small cave and find refuge there. "I think I'll go get some food. We need it." I say, as my stomach rumbles.
I leave the cave in search of a berry bush. I approach a small river covered in mangrove trees. I walk to it and wash my face. I see my reflection. An oddish. A plain, boring, oddish. I blink and see myself as a gloom. Just for one second. I open my eyes and look down at myself. What I see isn't good. "The Arcanine!"

Chapter 7 will be written from Sea's point of view. Not belle's.

Chapter 7

I awake from a good nights rest to find Barky and Volt still sleeping. I stretch and walk out of the cave. I slowly approach a river to have a quick wash. I see a group of pokemon playing in the distance and see an oddish playing with them. I stop dead in my tracks. "Belle!" I think as I run to the river hoping that maybe belle just fell asleep while down there. I reach the river and find a bunch of footprints. I spot Belle's footprint and I see a large round print as well. She was taken I think as I turn and run back to the cave. I awaken Volt and Barky and tell them what has happened. They jump up and run with me back to the river. As we reach our destination I see a small note in the mud. I pick it up and read it aloud. "If you want your dumb oddish back it's either her or your friend, umbreon. Happy deciding, Team Slime." I say. I choke on a tear.
"We have to save them" Barky says.
"We should choose Spectrum." Volt says confident that its the right decision.
Slap him hard. "That's so selfish! We need to at least try to save them both!" I yell at him.
"The only problem is, how do we get to them?" Barky asks, confused.
At that moment he disappears... Into thin air. I turn to see Volt just as shocked as I am. I stare back at the spot where Barky was. Then back at Volt. But he's not there either. Shocked, confused and bewildered I think that I'm the next to disappear. At that second I vanish. I reappear in front of Volt and Barky who turn away from me. Then I see them. Spectrum and Belle completely caged and tied to metal plates. The small man that attacked my village then comes from around some machinery and looks at us. "Which one do you choose?" He asks. I rush at him and he dodges me. I get a shock, literally. "Try anything bad, you get shocked by those collars. By the way they will help you speak a language I can understand. "Can we save both of them!" I yell in anguish as smoke pours off my collar. "You can but it won't be easy." He laughs and explains how we can save them. "All you need to do is answer a few questions and you save one. Answer more you get both. The questions get harder as you move along. Get it wrong, they both get a large shock. Which one will you intend to save first if at all?" He asks us. Volt from behind me yells "The Umbreon!" I turn to him and give him the death stare. "Very well. First question. This is the easiest! What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon and 3 legs at night? I star back at Volt and Barky hoping they know the answer. "Ughhhhh... Umm..."

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{charmander} and {squirtle} and {sneasel} and {buizel} and {honchkrow} and {geodude} rock. (Get it?)
PLANNING ON GETTING 1000 POSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 1ST. HELP ME BY MAKING NEW THREADS THAT I CAN SPAM IN


So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Tue Dec 11, 2012 4:11 am
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I got -10200 in Jeopardy
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Chapter 8

I search my mind, re-think the question and add some logic to it. I come up with an answer but I'm unsure whether I got it right. I look to my two friends and realise what's at stake. Two shocks and it could kill one of them. "Anytime now..." I hear the small man say. It sounds so distant. So far away. "Humans?" I say shyly.
"That's actually correct!" I hear him say in anger. But I detect a slight bit of excitement as if he's enjoying the tension. "Next question. Two more and you save your precious umbreon. Five more to save the other, and believe me I'm not giving him up as easily. What is greater than god, more evil than the devil and the biggest thing to exist?" I shiver on the thought of something being more evil than the devil. Again, I stare back at my friends and hear volt sigh. "Nothing!" He yells. He looks at me condescendingly as if the question was the easiest thing on earth. "Correctomundo." The says with a sneer on his face. He may have that expression but I know he's enjoying this. "If you can solve this puzzle you save only one of your friends." His voice echoes as it bounces off the walls. "A puzzle! You said only questions!" I yell at him. Completely forgetting about the collar I run at him once again, only to get another shock. "Fine..." I say as I fall to the ground of the pain. I hear gears kling and klang together. They start to rustle as they turn. I look up and see a board being lowered. I look at the small screen and see a puzzle. A sliding puzzle. He lowers just out of my reach. "Solve it!" He giggles happily. His laugh pierces my ears as I try to reach the board. I turn to Barky. "Give me a boost." I instruct him. He trots over and lowers his back for me. I hop on and he pushes the weight up. I reach the board, barely. I touch the screen and move a piece to the right. At least it works.i move a few pieces and see a picture forming. "You might want to hurry it up!" I hear Barky yell. I get the top row completed. I get the left column completed. Almost done. Just one more piece to the left, and... I hear a zssch and the screen shuts off. "Come on, you didn't think I'd really let you rescue both of them? Did you?" He says laughing so hard it looks like his throat might fall out. He pulls a lever and spectrum's cage opens setting him free. He presses a button and I see a trapdoor under Belle open. He pulls a switch and Belle's cage opens. "Noooooooo!" I yell, everything slows. I feel like I'm running through jelly. Belle starts to fall. I jump ready to catch her. The man runs at me and pushes me Against a wall. All I see before I black out is Belle, falling, maybe to her death.

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Thanks to Dare234 for the Awesome Banner.
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{charmander} and {squirtle} and {sneasel} and {buizel} and {honchkrow} and {geodude} rock. (Get it?)
PLANNING ON GETTING 1000 POSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 1ST. HELP ME BY MAKING NEW THREADS THAT I CAN SPAM IN


So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:11 pm
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I got -10200 in Jeopardy
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:31 pm
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Location: Obsessing over my paper cranes (props to whoever gets this reference, no one will)
I drift in and out of darkness. I hear little bits at a time. "We need to hurry!" I hear Barky say. I black out. "Quickly we're almost there!" Volt says with a bit of guilt. I get some feeling back to my body and realise that Barky and Volt are carrying me to the place where Belle fell. "What happened?" I say in confusion. "Not now! We're saving belle!" Barky snaps at me. I look to where they are running and see a large pit. I look back and see a small rocket that crashed. I look forward and realise that Belle fell to the ground into the pit. I hop off their backs and start running, my motive keeping me energised. We reach the pit and look down into it. About 10 metres down I see Belle lying there, lifeless. I look to the steepness of the cliff and how far down the pit goes if I fall. Without thinking I run around the circular pit and start to head down. I use the centripical force to keep me against the wall. I make it down and look up to see Barky and Volt trying the same thing. I walk to Belle's side and carefully turn her over. I see a large cut down her back. I lift her and look up. Thinking the centripical force thing isn't going to work again, I think of a new way of getting out of this hole. "Are we trapped?" I hear Volt say. "I'm not sure. Unless you can think of a way out of here?" I say with a cough. "Wait I know a way out! Volt you know dig, right?" Barky says as his mind starts to work. "Yes why?" He asks, clueless to myths fact it could help us. "Use it to make a tunnel up to the top!" Barky and I say in synchronisation. Volt runs forward at the wall and pushes his paws onto it and moves the dirt and mud away. He continues for a few minutes and makes a small tunnel leading up about 1 or two metres on a steady slope. I walk up it and find the dead end. Putting my paw on it I realise why he stopped. "Guys there's a large rock in the way!" I say. "Then dig around it." Barky yells back to me. " I can't I don't know dig. Volt get in here!" I say yelling back to them. Volt runs in and goes to the left of the tunnel. He makes a small archway and continues to dig the tunnel around the boulder. I see some light as volt reaches the top. I yell down to Barky. "Come on, up the tunnel quickly." I reach the top and stop to catch my breath. I wait for Barky to come up. "Who else do we have to rescue? Wait... Where's spectrum?" I say with curiosity. "He stayed at the spaceship" Barky says. "So not only do we need to save Belle we have to go back and get Spectrum?" I say with a bit of exhaustion. "Yes. But I know where to heal Belle." He points over to a small town full of people. "Well, lets go see their reactions to 3 pokemon carrying a wounded oddish." I say with delight. We walk off with haste in the direction of the town.

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{charmander} and {squirtle} and {sneasel} and {buizel} and {honchkrow} and {geodude} rock. (Get it?)
PLANNING ON GETTING 1000 POSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 1ST. HELP ME BY MAKING NEW THREADS THAT I CAN SPAM IN


So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:56 pm
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:31 pm
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Location: Obsessing over my paper cranes (props to whoever gets this reference, no one will)
Chapter 10

We trot into the town of hearthome, like nobody owns us. We go past the entrance gate. Go past the light posts. I see people staring at us as we walk through. A little girl comes up to us and starts to pet Barky. He pushes her away and we keep moving. We walk past a few tall buildings and reach the pokemon centre. The doors move away and we slowly walk in. Looking around I see a few posters of other towns. I see a woman behind a counter looking at us. I walk up to her and she stares down. I turn to my Belle and back to her. She comes around the counter and slowly picks Belle up. She carefully places her on a small table. My friends walk up to me and we watch the woman work. She grabs a small berry and places it into a glass container. She places a few more berries and presses a button. The berries shred to bits as they turn in the container. The woman stops the twirling and pours the mixture into a small bottle. She grabs the bottle places the lid on and walks over to Belle. She places the bottle into Belle's hands and Belle slowly drinks from it. As she drinks the women walks over and grabs a small towel. The woman wipes the blood away and cleans Belle. She then grabs the bottle off of Belle and turns her over. She grabs a small sharp and attatches it to a long vine. She walks over to Belle and slowly pulls the wound together. She places a different towel under Belle. "Your friend may need to rest for a while. Why don't you go and wait?" She says sweetly. We walk out of the building and look back at the woman waving at us. "Why don't we go get Spectrum while we wait?" I say, bored. We continue out of the city and walk back to the site of the crash. We walk past the pit and look down into the tunnel. I see the rocket in the distance and Spectrum looking out at us. She hops off the ship and runs to us. "Hey guys! What took you so long. While you we're gone I found one of those collars that helps you talk properly maybe it will help us." She says with some happiness in her voice. "Finally, something good to happen!" Volt says. We all laugh over the fact that the problems just keep coming. "Well, since we got you we better go get Belle back from the pokemon center. I hope she's healed." I say. We walk off once more and pass the tunnel and pit. We get to the hearthome gate and I look into the sky. "That's strange..." I say with confusion. "What's wrong?" Barky asks. "All the clouds just disappeared. A little while ago the sky was filled with clouds. But now... There gone." I say. "Yeah I noticed it too." Volt says. I look back into the distance and see the clouds moving rapidly. As they get closer I see an outline and see they aren't clouds. They're swablu led by a skarmory. I look at the ground and see the arcanine in front. "Again! Run!" I scream. The arcanine barrels towards us and the swablu fly rapidly. We all run into the gate and close the doors. We close them just as the arcanine rams the door. We lock it and continue running. The arcanine pushes against the door and bolts it loose. I run to the other door and find it locked. I look through the keyhole and see the small man laughing. The arcanine slowly moves towards us as we get cornered against the door.

_________________
Thanks to Dare234 for the Awesome Banner.
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{charmander} and {squirtle} and {sneasel} and {buizel} and {honchkrow} and {geodude} rock. (Get it?)
PLANNING ON GETTING 1000 POSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 1ST. HELP ME BY MAKING NEW THREADS THAT I CAN SPAM IN


So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:11 am
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I got -10200 in Jeopardy
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:31 pm
Posts: 714
Location: Obsessing over my paper cranes (props to whoever gets this reference, no one will)
Chapter 11

I hit the edge of the room as a paw touches down in front of me. We all retreat slowly as the arcanine moves towards us. I hear a squawk as the skarmory rushes into the room pecking at us. Following him the swablu slowly flutter in and cover the exit. I turn to Volt who is cornered. He rushes under the arcanine's legs and towards the door. He hits the wall of swablu and continues to run. After on dirt ground he looks to the ground. I take a step back. Volt starts to burrow and dig. We all take another step back into the corner. The arcanine turns around and sees Volt. We all run under the arcanine's legs and join Volt. I move speedily and try to distract the arcanine. He barks and growls at me. Barky and Spectrum join me and volt continues to dig. He makes it a few metres under and starts to dig horizontally. I move backwards and join him in the hole. Volt starts dig up andi climb up the vertical tunnel. I fall, but Volt keeps digging. "I hope this works." I say to him.

_________________
Thanks to Dare234 for the Awesome Banner.
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{charmander} and {squirtle} and {sneasel} and {buizel} and {honchkrow} and {geodude} rock. (Get it?)
PLANNING ON GETTING 1000 POSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 1ST. HELP ME BY MAKING NEW THREADS THAT I CAN SPAM IN


So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:55 pm
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I got -10200 in Jeopardy
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:31 pm
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Location: Obsessing over my paper cranes (props to whoever gets this reference, no one will)
Chapter 12

Volt digs up as I try to create some foot holding so I can climb up. A flash of light comes through as he reaches the surface. He stops digging and says "We're right underneath him."
"Good now get out of the tunnel and I'll barge at him from the ground."
Volt walks out of the tunnel and looks back to me. I look through the hole and see the belly of the beast. I step down and put a paw into one of the foot holdings. I rush into another holding and continue up, gaining speed. I reach the half way mark and have started to use agility to gain speed. I rush up and hit the surface. The ground pushes away and I race up, hitting the arcanine in the belly. He howls and runs away in pain. I fall to the edge of thee tunnel and pull myself up. "Yes!" I yell in excitement. "Let's go get Belle, quickly." Volt says as he enters the now completely destroyed Hearthome gate. "How are they going to fix this?" I say in wonder. We open the now unlocked door to hearthome. "I wonder where that man went." Barky says behind me. "Who knows..." Spectrum replies. We all walk through the door and hear a loud cling. All the people turn towards us and look up. I see a figure running towards us. "Is that... ember?" I say, unsure. The figure gets closer and I realise it is Ember. The people are still staring up and I decide to look up to. Ember gets closer. I see the spaceship and realise where the man went. Ember reaches us and a large cage falls from the ship. It catches Ember and rises him up into the spaceship. "Again! This guy is so persistent. Lets get Belle and quickly rescue Ember." I say, angry that we have more problems. "Can't we just have one thing go smoothly!" Volt yells at the ship.

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So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Fri Dec 14, 2012 7:59 pm
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Pokemon Master
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Joined: Tue May 24, 2011 8:10 am
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Location: Beyond the realms of death...
Weeell...
It's pretty good, but let me point out some things.
First, why did you began using present tenses? It would work better with past. And the story might be for all ages, but I think it's focused on children rather than teens, while Psypoke consists mostly of people 15-20 years old.
Other than these, it's cool.

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Sun Dec 16, 2012 3:57 pm
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Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:31 pm
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Location: Obsessing over my paper cranes (props to whoever gets this reference, no one will)
ChillBill wrote:
Weeell...
It's pretty good, but let me point out some things.
First, why did you began using present tenses? It would work better with past. And the story might be for all ages, but I think it's focused on children rather than teens, while Psypoke consists mostly of people 15-20 years old.
Other than these, it's cool.



I started out the story out with nothing else to do so I didn't really pay attention too much. I will edit these eventually though.

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Thanks to Dare234 for the Awesome Banner.
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{charmander} and {squirtle} and {sneasel} and {buizel} and {honchkrow} and {geodude} rock. (Get it?)
PLANNING ON GETTING 1000 POSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 1ST. HELP ME BY MAKING NEW THREADS THAT I CAN SPAM IN


So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:41 pm
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