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 The Pokemon Trio 
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Bug Catcher
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Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:55 pm
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Discontinued discontinued

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon May 21, 2012 6:12 pm
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Pokemon Master
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Location: In your house, nunchuking all of your shit.
Very good grammar, compared to a few other things I see in here. I'm interested to see how this turns out!
Also, kudos to you for the Bidoof playing the bit of the outcasted pokemon role.
However, I recommend that you give a bit more exposition to characters. I am having trouble with finding out certain aspects of the characters.
But, continue on, its good!

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"As I look up from the ground
I see darkness all around
And I'm lost but can be found up in the sky
Goodbye
"


Mon May 21, 2012 7:55 pm
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Not discontinued actually but I'm rewriting

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Tue May 22, 2012 6:44 pm
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Dragon Tamer
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This story is fabulous! I wish my writing flowed as well as yours does, it's interesting too! Please continue! :)

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Wed May 30, 2012 7:39 pm
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RIP man this is a WIP lmaO

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:04 pm
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I'm actually crying at my old writing but hey it's cool

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:08 pm
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Pokemon Master
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Location: In your house, nunchuking all of your shit.
Very good! Although, I would like to point out that you said "Operation: Leave the House has just inaugarated". I think the word 'commenced' might work better. All in all, very good. I especially got a few lols out of the writing. Also, I like your avatar. I cant figure out why, though... :p

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"As I look up from the ground
I see darkness all around
And I'm lost but can be found up in the sky
Goodbye
"


Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:31 pm
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I actually wish I could delete my own posts but I guess not

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:08 am
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This is the longest of the chapters so far it seems, I'm impressed with little me

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:14 am
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I was trying very hard not to laugh from this. XD Very entertaining~

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sad but rad


Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:21 pm
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I cannot believe my ex used to read this story, and that she commented below. That's crazy

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:05 am
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Well gee Nicki. Love yah too but honestly I was going to compliment you and you know I only speak the truth when critisizing ;)

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Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:17 am
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Oh puh-lease no you weren't! :roll:

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Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:19 am
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I have to warn you. In chapter two there are a few ... incorrectly written sentences. Some of them need a semi-colon or a coordinating conjunction to be written correctly. We don't want a comma splice now do we? Overall I thought it was well written and I like how it flows from one place to next. I've read some others and I found most of them choppy but yours seems more natural. I hope you stick with this story line. It could really turn into a fantastic story. One pointer though is that you might want to define your characters more and give us more of a sence of their thoughts. Their wants and desires. Maybe even their fears. Add a little more depth and this story will unfold magnificently.

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Last edited by Articuno63 on Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:36 am, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:33 am
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How did she even know what those were back then? Coordinating conjunction? Comma splices? We were like five years old, we weren't learning how to use semicolons correctly yet.

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:36 am
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Well I'm glad to hear it becauseI really do think this story will unfold rather nicely so keep it up. ;)

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Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:38 am
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I'm still laughing actually. Coordination conjunction. I'll mash together a coordinating conjunction with a semi-colon and a comma splice. I'll call it, THE COLLEGE KILLER, because it'll kill my college career

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:03 pm
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Great! The only thing I can point out is that it is spelled "Zubat". And there are a couple typos here and there, but that doesn't really matter. Unless DNA reads this.



You write fabulously, please continue~ :)

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Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:27 pm
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Whoops! I thought I spelt that wrong, thanks! I was too lazy to look it up, of course. :oops:

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Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:57 pm
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Location: In your house, nunchuking all of your shit.
Dragonair101 wrote:
Unless DNA reads this.

OHSHI-
I just realized that
Dragonair101 wrote:
Unless DNA reads this
(Again, OHSHI-), I'm also the only guy who reads this, since D101, Evo44, and Articuno63 from what it seems, are all girls. Yay for me!
In the end of chapter 5, I kinda got confused as to why Ken lashed out, so try to emphasize on the other characters' thoughts. Other than that...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
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YAYZIEZ!!!!!!11!!!1!!1one!!one!!
EDIT: Oh god, what have I done?!? My mind must have been on crack or something!
You people remind me of how Drago_girl and I talk sometimes.

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"As I look up from the ground
I see darkness all around
And I'm lost but can be found up in the sky
Goodbye
"


Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:30 am
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I came up with a backstory in like .02 seconds because, as a man who now has a load of practice under his belt, I'm good at developing all this crap now

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Jun 27, 2012 6:56 am
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I love the story, I think it flows beautifully and is very poetic. I love the way you use pokemon in your metaphors and the only problem I have with it is I can't read more of it!

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{charmander} and {squirtle} and {sneasel} and {buizel} and {honchkrow} and {geodude} rock. (Get it?)
PLANNING ON GETTING 1000 POSTS BEFORE OCTOBER 1ST. HELP ME BY MAKING NEW THREADS THAT I CAN SPAM IN


So, this forum just got a revamp, its now interesting, we have a few members, we have some games, we're about to open a Forum Shopping Center to buy Pokemon and Items... (If we get store clerks). We have a WEREWOLF game, and I know how much Psypoke likes Werewolf, so If you're itching to play a shorter game than usual, sign up.


Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:43 pm
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Who is Clover?? There's a person named Clover in this chapter and I don't even remember them whoops

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Mon Jul 29, 2013 7:49 am
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Haha sorry for the short short SHORT chapter guys, but I think it got the general point across about Clover, no?
Anyways I'm working on the next chapter so hopefully it'll be up WAY sooner than the last one

//crosses fingers


EDIT: My GOD it has been over three years since I've so much as touched this fic. Time to change that. I also have no idea who Clover is, still, and they probably won't stick in the story. WHOOPS

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Last edited by Evolutions44 on Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:53 am
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My favorite Pokèmon starters are Chikorita, Cyndaquil, and Totodile. They're from Johto.


Sat Oct 19, 2013 12:51 pm
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