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Pokemon Ranger
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My sister disagrees with me, but my mate agrees: if you've got a mindset that you're better than everyone else and you just don't give a damn, you're funnier, more exciting and generally more approachable. You're also more of a jerk, but who cares? My sister reckons you should be nice to everyone and treat everyone as your equal, this way you could make friendships that last longer and are more "real."

Anyway so I'm wondering, is it just me, does anyone ever rank themselves in comparison to other people? eg, I would say overall I'm better than many people I meet, thus I can talk rubbish to them. People I think who are better than me, I strive for their approval, which means that nothing comes out naturally. (I asked my sister "honestly, do you think you're better than James" and she did the whole "oh different things, different viewports, blah blah blah (rubbish woman talk) (im joking)"

What do you guys think? Are you "better" than others? Or am I wrong for thinking like that? I guess what I'm trying to say is, should I pretend to care what others think of me, or if I just don't give a **** about a certain topic just be upfront about it?

I'm not sure what the point of this topic is. Advice to improve your social skills I guess.

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Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:02 am
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A large part of survival in the animal kingdom is competition and outlasting/surpassing others. As human beings, we need to know (or at least feel) superior to other people or we cannot advance in society or in life. We need to know, "Well, I'm better of than that guy" or else we have nothing to live for. Sure, one could argue that that would be motivation for someone--to equal those who are better than you. But the point is, when you're at the bottom you're not going to make it to the top. There's no such thing as the underdog coming up and beating out everyone if he realizes he is below everyone. Human beings are petty, egotistical, high-browed, power-hungry, blood-thirsty creatures. We need to be better than everyone around us or we're not happy. Thus, we pick out certain people and groups of people who we have more money than, who we are more attractive than, who are are smarter than, and who we are just better than so that we ourselves can feel we have some sort of power and that we are victoious on a hierarchical scale. So, yes, I make fun of/pick on/don't associate with people who I am "better" than. But if you say that you disagree with that--that you are kind and accepting of all people and living creatures--then you are lying. It's a part of human nature and the common psychological/sociological development of living beings. We need to know we can succeed and have succeeded, or else we will crumble. Social Darwinism dictates that the strong are the winners, and we need to feel strong or else we die.

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Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:26 am
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I forgot to add this but: the point my sister emphasized was that even when you climb the chain, you won't have anything to fall back on because all your friends are gonna leave you for bigger and better things. Therefore having fake conversations with people "lesser" than you is necessary to advance. Over time you'll realise these "lesser" people are actually genuine and warm and funny.

Or would you think it comes down to personality and what certain people prefer? Like how you see hot girls walking around with ugly dudes. EXPLAIN THAT! :p

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Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:42 am
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DragonPhoenix wrote:
Or would you think it comes down to personality and what certain people prefer? Like how you see hot girls walking around with ugly dudes. EXPLAIN THAT! :p

Attractive women chose unattractive men to marry because there's less chance of them being unfaithful/leaving them. Hot women will date "hot" men when they're looking for sex and maybe some jewelry. But when it comes time to settle down or start a steady relationship, more aesthetically pleasing females chose to love fugly males because there's less chance they'll stray (they wouldn't have much chance to anyway). On the other hand, most men are only looking for sex even in a married life. Thus, they seek more attractive women in the hopes of creating beautiful offspring. That's why you never see attractive men with unattractive women unless there's some sort of ulterior motive (money, status, etc.). This isn't 100% accurate and I know there are exceptions, but for the most part this is the rule to follow.

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Sun Apr 11, 2010 9:41 am
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>speaking from a woman's prospective when you're not a woman

Your logic is pretty flawed. There's not really such thing as "being attractive", beauty depends on who's judging, and nobody shares the same opinions. I could think a skinny nerdy guy is hot while my best friend would think he's an ugly geek. On the other hand, girls drool over Edward and um...the other vampire? Jacob? while personally I think they're not that attractive.

On the internet I sorta think I'm better than some groups of people, but I really am the total opposite in real life. I think very low of myself and know I don't deserve what I have. I'm actually such a loser my best friends outside the internet are the people I met here. I may act pretty arrogant online, but that's not my real personality at all.

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Wed Apr 14, 2010 4:16 am
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Krisp wrote:
>speaking from a woman's prospective when you're not a woman

Your logic is pretty flawed. There's not really such thing as "being attractive", beauty depends on who's judging, and nobody shares the same opinions. I could think a skinny nerdy guy is hot while my best friend would think he's an ugly geek. On the other hand, girls drool over Edward and um...the other vampire? Jacob? while personally I think they're not that attractive.

Hot and attractive are two different erms, and they're so easily misconceptualized by people today that I'm not surprised that I probably used them wrong. Let me give some of my own definitions/observations. Attraction is merely a complex mix of pheremone identification/enticement, personal screening for the most desirable traits in a person, and what society dictates as aesthetically pleasing. Describing someone as hot is merely applying a label that says the majority of society/peers would approve of this creature as being an optimal mate and this person would induce competition and envy in my fellow males/femals. I disagree that you would find a skinny nerdy guy hot when it's simple not possible; most of society would say that he's not a beautiful person, and anyone would be influenced by this. Noe one is powerful enough to resist what others think. I will say that you can find him attractive as a person for different traits (brains, humor, nunchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills), but that is an entirely different beast all together. And, again, I'm pretty sure I said there are exceptions to what I've said, but in case I didn't I am right now: There are always going to be exceptions to the rules I've presented, but for the most part a random sample of society would probably follow any trends I've stated.

P.S. Don't get all uppity because I'm speaking from a female perspective as a male when for some reason it is completely acceptable for females to do this of males where applicable without raising any red flags. I think I know well enough about the feminine mindset to make accurate claims/assertions. No disrespect.

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Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:15 pm
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Anyway... I made this topic cos I was curious if anyone else thinks they crap on top of everyone else in the world, I'm particularly interested whether more people do than not.

I've been told "life is so much better when you don't give a damn." Why not try it?

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Wed Apr 14, 2010 5:55 pm
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I do often think I am better than others. Yes it does sound egotistical but thats the way it is. I strive to get to the top and I get very angry if someone else gets something that I want. I just hate it when others stand in my way, but I feel most people feel that way. Its not a nice attitude, but I think its pretty normal.

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Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:43 pm
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DragonPhoenix wrote:
if you've got a mindset that you're better than everyone else and you just don't give a damn, you're funnier, more exciting and generally more approachable. You're also more of a jerk, but who cares?

The people who don't talk to you anymore, because they found out how much of a dick you are. Hubris and apathy doesn't make funny and outgoing people.

We think we're better than others, because we compare ourselves with people we don't know. We can justify who we are and what we do because we know why. When we observe others, personalities, appearance, behavior, intelligence, material wealth, or social status is some of what we use to judge them against ourselves. How we think of them, whether valid or not, is like comparing an ideal against what we experienced. If someone is an asshole to you, you're not going to like them. If someone has a nice job and a good family, you might covet what they have. But spending time deciding where you and they fit on a social hierarchy and treating people accordingly is **** ridiculous.

Emin Jofit wrote:
We need to know, "Well, I'm better of than that guy" or else we have nothing to live for. [...] Human beings are petty, egotistical, high-browed, power-hungry, blood-thirsty creatures. We need to be better than everyone around us or we're not happy. Thus, we pick out certain people and groups of people who we have more money than, who we are more attractive than, who are are smarter than, and who we are just better than so that we ourselves can feel we have some sort of power and that we are victoious on a hierarchical scale. So, yes, I make fun of/pick on/don't associate with people who I am "better" than. But if you say that you disagree with that--that you are kind and accepting of all people and living creatures--then you are lying.

It's an overgeneralization and oversimplification of human psychology and social behavior to claim that everyone wants to be the "winner." Not all people think everything in life is a contest, and plenty of people are happy with simple living. Personal satisfaction is a goal one sets for himself and attains through achievement. When that satisfaction is based on how he compares himself to others, he'll always be unhappy. There is always someone better.

While judgment is natural and everyone does it, how one treats another based on this judgment varies. If someone is an asshole, obviously that person won't be our favorite and how we treat him will reflect that. However, it's boorish and egotistical to treat people differently because we think they are unintelligent, indolent, immature, or lead a lifestyle we otherwise disagree with. We don't have to accept people for who they are, but it's important to be tolerant and at least treat them with some kind of dignity. All those you step on below you and all the dick you suck above, people will eventually realize...

DragonPhoenix wrote:
I would say overall I'm better than many people I meet, thus I can talk rubbish to them. People I think who are better than me, I strive for their approval, which means that nothing comes out naturally.

...how fake and insecure you are.

Even if you are that "success" oriented person who needs to be on top, social networking is extremely important. It's all about who you know. If you start to slide down the ladder of success, you'll want someone on the rungs below to catch you and help push you up again. And who knows? That person you thought was a piece of **** might actually find his way up faster.

Emin Jofit wrote:
...the point is, when you're at the bottom you're not going to make it to the top. There's no such thing as the underdog coming up and beating out everyone if he realizes he is below everyone.

Henry Ford wrote:
Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.

When someone is constantly focused on how low he is and harbors a defeatist attitude, because he's not the "winner," then sure he won't make anything of himself. However, you make it sound as if people reach their personal social status at a specific age in life and stay there. Everyone starts at the bottom; at some point, we were all underdogs. Remember there was a time in your life when the only thing you could do alone was **** your pants.

Where you are today doesn't make you any more or less capable of becoming successful than anyone else. While your position may make you more likely, that doesn't mean you will, and it doesn't give you any entitlement.

Sure, there are people in life we don't always get a long with or just don't like. Sometimes we make fun of or bitch about those people. We're not obligated to like or even be nice to anyone. But if life really is a game about winning and losing and everyone's playing, despite what tier you think they're on, everyone has a chance to win. Civility is in our best interest.



Emin Jofit wrote:
DragonPhoenix wrote:
Or would you think it comes down to personality and what certain people prefer? Like how you see hot girls walking around with ugly dudes. EXPLAIN THAT! :p

Attractive women chose unattractive men to marry because there's less chance of them being unfaithful/leaving them. Hot women will date "hot" men when they're looking for sex and maybe some jewelry. But when it comes time to settle down or start a steady relationship, more aesthetically pleasing females chose to love fugly males because there's less chance they'll stray (they wouldn't have much chance to anyway). On the other hand, most men are only looking for sex even in a married life. Thus, they seek more attractive women in the hopes of creating beautiful offspring. That's why you never see attractive men with unattractive women unless there's some sort of ulterior motive (money, status, etc.). This isn't 100% accurate and I know there are exceptions, but for the most part this is the rule to follow.

Umm... I don't really even see that many attractive women with significantly uglier men. Usually couples are rather comparable physically. I did read an article discussing this very topic, but social psychologists explained that women generally apply more emotional aspects in choosing partners, not because they're insecure or jealous creatures. While men are more sexual, speaking for my people, I'd say I'm far more interested in a caring, emotional, and mutual relationship than good, hot sex. If what you said has any reflection of what you actually feel, then I think your opinion of women is pretty indignant, and your priorities are a little **** up.


Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:28 am
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DragonPheonix, I agree with you. But it's not arrogance, it's confidence. At least that's what I tell people. :P But honestly, my best friends are the ones who agree with me on this topic. We've discussed it before. Being humble is for weak people, as harsh as that sounds. I'm not saying be a jerk, but don't downplay your awesomeness just to seem more approachable.

A lot of people at my school think I'm a bitch because I'm actually confident and know who I am (that seems to be a difficult feat for most high schoolers). Honestly, I think I'm better than most people. I'm smart, attractive, and have good social skills. However, what separates me from being a jerk is that I don't treat people like I'm better even when I know it. That's the key. Be confident and honest, but don't act like everyone should bow down to you. Even doing such, a lot of people misunderstand confidence for arrogance but that's their problem.


Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:55 pm
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Arcteia wrote:
Being humble is for weak people, as harsh as that sounds.



Luke 18:9-14 wrote:
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”


Philippians 2:3-4 wrote:
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.


My point in quoting those is not to say I think you're stupid, mean or anything like that; I just want to point out that humility is not a "weak" quality. It's an important one. If everyone were arrogant and confident all the time, people would always think everyone else is an asshole 24/7.

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Thu Apr 22, 2010 7:51 pm
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I really appreciate everyone's replies :) I know a lot of people think this and that others think that, but like I said I'm just curious what others thought about this, I'm definitely not advocating that being modest is wrong or anything.

Anyway I'm sure most of yous are in the work force: you all know that promotions are more likely than not based on whether you connect with your boss or not..

In real life I'm as modest as you can get. I don't brag about anything ever. But I do think/know I'm better than everyone else. and I guess I kinda have to. I'm trying to make it as an architect - and with part time work as a sales associate - it really toughens you up. I used to get pushed around and trod on a lot, and acting like I just don't give a damn seems to make my life run so much more smoothly. On the flip side though I know I've turned somewhat into a **** person - I'm now somewhat derogatory to women I don't know and I belittle those around me to get laughs out.

I didn't really want this to focus on a particular individual or whatever but I just think its interesting... You know sometimes before you go to sleep at night (or you're on the train) thinking about everything that happens to you and what you've could've done better or what you should've done differently.... So yeah I'm fake and insecure and whatever but I'd rather that be me than be what I used to be: some guy who doesnt get anywhere and never speaks up and worries if he'll get anywhere in life

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Sat Apr 24, 2010 3:17 am
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DragonPhoenix wrote:
if you've got a mindset that you're better than everyone else and you just don't give a damn, you're funnier, more exciting and generally more approachable.


When you hit the real world, you will fail.


That attitude is good when you are trying to impress/get laughs out of your little friends. Once you start talking to someone like a boss or a customer in that tone you will learn a lesson. Or if you ever end up having to ask for a favor.

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Sun Apr 25, 2010 3:09 pm
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I'm a total jackass in real life, and it has both advantages and toxicities. It's still better than when I would bend of backwards trying to make everyone happy. Anyway, don't be like me; just find a sustainable center: confident enough to attract attention and engage, but humble enough to be tolerable in the long run.


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I believe I'm better then people mentally & emotionally & that's cause I'm the only person who I ever heard about or seen that does not lose my temper or let words or sometimes even actions break my spirit or even cause me to break down, become enraged, etc. & thus lead to making some kind of bad decision or some kind that only makes things worse but at the same time though, I don't actually ever show it, pretty much ever unless someone just flat out does something on purpose to tick me off while no matter if they were trying to or not...I also find that having too many friends will come back to stab you in the back which is why I'm very anti-social as well...

So in short I believe that thinking your better then other people is fine as long as you don't get over your head & no, treating everyone as equal to you will not hinder any good results in today's world...sad but true, imo...

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Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:30 pm
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Registeel_Rocks wrote:
Arcteia wrote:
Being humble is for weak people, as harsh as that sounds.




As has already been mentioned above, arrogance and egotism are natural human traits.

As such, it takes absolutley no effort be be a pompous, self-serving prick, all you have to do is follow your own survival instincts.

But it takes a great deal of humility, self-awareness and inner strength to admit when your wrong or when you've screwed up.


people commonly make the mistake of assuming humble people are weak-minded and insecure and thus inferior. this is not the case, humility is a trait that allows a person to remain calm and quiet about their achievments without feeling the need to brag about them.

humility does not mean your weak, it just means your confident enough within yourself not to feel the need to boast about how awesome you think you are to other people in a desperate attempt to impress them.


Wed May 12, 2010 6:39 pm
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