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 ~Frost Presents~: A NSFW/Exaggerated Rant of My Misty HATRED 
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THE POWER IS ON!
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I was originally going to make a thread posting my rankings of human Pokemon characters (specifically Gym Leaders, Elite Four members/Champions and Frontier Brains), however, I spent so much time making a write-up for the last character on the list, this thread's titular character, that I just decided to crank up the ridiculousness of the rant and post that instead. If you're under the age of 15, you're an irrational Misty fanboy with no sense of humor, or you have room temperature IQ, I would advise you not to read the following.



FROST PRESENTS: A NSFW/Exaggerated Rant of My Misty HATRED
64. Misty a.k.a. Cunty
Oh, god, I don't even know where to start with this stupid bitch. Misty is, by far, my least favorite Pokemon character of them all and I could probably write an entire article about why I hate her. Let's start with the medium in which she is easily the least annoying, the video games. First of all, in the video games she's just some random bitch who idolizes the infinitely superior Lorelei (and rightfully so). Anyway, I started with Charmander the first time I ever played Pokemon, and this chick and her demonic Bubblebeaming Starmie caused so much angst before I actually knew what the hell I was doing in Pokemon games. Misty is pretty much a delusional twunt in the video games because she claims her policy is an "all-out offensive with Water Pokemon," but then her Starmie knows Harden and she uses shitty items like X Speed WTF FAIL. She also tries to hit on your character in Pokemon Yellow to no avail because she's such an ugly man troll, and after she grows some actual breasts in Gold and Silver, she puts them to use by seducing... the guy who gives you tips against every Gym Leader? So basically she can't score with anybody but nerds with no life? HOW APPROPRIATE.

Image "OMG! Look at my A cup boobies! Puberty was awesome to me!"

Let's move on to the most repulsive version of MistyCuntess: her anime form. Again, I can go off about how much I hate this bitch and how she's my very least favorite character in the anime (even lower than that dumbass little kid Max or boring ass Dawn). In short, she's a raging demoness whose goal in life to bitch at anything and anybody who breathes. She bitches at (and physically abuses) Ash, she bitches at (and physically abuses) Brock (more on that in a second), she bitches at Team Rocket, she bitches (and physically abuses - what a raging sociopath!) Psyduck (who is awesome and needs to totally kill that bitch with his awesome psychic powers), she bitches at random characters of the day and she bitches at her sisters who are infinitely more pretty than some scrawny little cow with boy hair and no tits. (As anime Misty is, like her video game counterpart, delusional and thinks she's incredibly beautiful and charming and OMG LOL NO.) One particular reason why I hate Misty is her stupid fear of Bug Pokemon, which in one episode lead her to treat Caterpie (who is infinitely more awesome than said demoness) like vile shit, including going on a rant that ended with her clobbering Caterpie with a mallet in a fantasy. Another reason this bitch fucking fails in the anime is that she's incredibly pissed off that nobody wants her manbeast ass in bed, so she takes every possible opportunity to make sure Brock is miserable and doesn't have a sex life either. The "Misty pulls Brock's ear and drags him away from a hot girl" running gag is easily the most unfunny and pathetic joke in the anime and Misty's precedence led to two equally worthless characters (Max and Brock's Crackface/Croagunk) to pick the up joke later in the series.

Image [Cuntus Mistius in her natural anime form.]

The most hideous aspect of Misty, unfortunately, is actually her fanbase. Irrational Misty fanboys are the scum of the Pokemon fandom and are so delusional about their beloved redheaded cow that they bring shame to Pokemon fans everywhere. Although the fan girls who try to ship Ash and Misty as a romantic item are pretty annoying too (ASH DOES NOT LOVE A CRUSTY DEMONESS KTHX), let's focus mainly on her crazy fan boys. Remember how the only sex Misty could get in the video games was from the nerdy Gym Leader tip guy? Well, such epically fail powers of seduction translate to the real world, where a lot of Misty's fanboys are nerdy little boys with no life who love her because they have been brainwashed into thinking this creature is "cute" and/or "hot." Don't ask me because I certainly don't get it. And many of these fanboys are SO incredibly stupid and delusional, taking any given opportunity to go onto huge tangent rants about how Misty is so superior to May (who was a much more developed character than just some chick who bitches at everybody) and Dawn (who is boring but at least not annoying). Meanwhile, when sane members of the human race try to point out Misty's faults, said delusional fanboys snap at the sane people and lecture them about how Misty has feelings and it isn't right to flame a character behind her back. (Sadly, I'm not making any of this up; I've seen it happen.)

Also, on a related subject, Misty's fan boys just CANNOT GET OVER THE FACT THAT SHE WAS INCREDIBLY BORING IN JOHTO AND GOT HER ASS BOOTED FROM THE SHOW. It's been SEVEN fucking years since Misty was written off the show but her goofnuts fanboys continue to wait with baited breath, hoping that some day their patron saint will return to a children's cartoon to bless them with her presence. However, THE ANIME DIRECTOR OFFICIALLY SAID MISTY WILL NEVER RETURN AS A MAIN CHARACTER. So they really need to LET. IT. GO.

Image Cunty's tears are sweet - as is her being LOLPWNT by Sabrina.

In conclusion, Misty is lame.

KNOW THAT!™


Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:56 pm
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While I respect your opinion and your right to express it, I have to say I completely disagree.

Then again, I'm far too lazy to write anything to counter your rant, so whatever.

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Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:02 pm
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Wait, what?
The **** is this?

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Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:19 pm
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i have to agree she got so annoying after two minutes! argh she bugs me so much. the only thing she's gd at is getting ****** in ****** by ash as revenge -_- (please note sarcasm)

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Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:18 am
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O M G L O L
M
G
L
O
L

I couldnt stop laughing the whole time I read this, not because I thought it was wrong but because I started to think and it was all 110.7% right. Seriously though...

L O L W T F
O
L
W
T
F


Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:04 pm
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Greedy-Gligar wrote:
O M G L O L
M
G
L
O
L

I couldnt stop laughing the whole time I read this, not because I thought it was wrong but because I started to think and it was all 110.7% right. Seriously though...

L O L W T F
O
L
W
T
F


You're a **** retard.

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Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:20 am
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Okay, Listen up: Everybody's got their own opinions. Frost has kindly shown us through meaningful words the facts: Misty bitches about things, and physically abuses characters, for one. I agree. I like Misty as much as Pikachu likes pokeballs. Not much. But there's a limit to pointless posts against one's opinions. <sarcasm> I'm not going to call anyone out.......
Electra wrote:

You're a **** retard.


.......or so I thought</sarcasm> Now, I don't think that this post shows any meaningful argument against Frost's opinion. Here's a suggestion: give a reason. Do you think Frost is a **** retard (i don't even know what rude adjective fits in there :-P) because of the imminent dislike for a certain redheaded main character, or because of posting this onto Psypoke? Either way, whatever a(n) **** retard is, at least Frost gave a reason for hating Misty. Congrats. By the way, at least Pikachu doesnt convince all the other pokemon to hate their pokeballs by calling them Pipi Kaa Chu Pi's (**** retards.) :-P

Now, to Frost:
Nice. You've summed up my thoughts that I've had about misty for YEARS. I felt that Misty was slightly necessary, to show that Ash Ketchup.......erm.......Ketchum... isn't the total baka we all think he is. The anime department might have felt that to give Ash a special place in our hearts, they'd make a character much more annoying in order to give us sympathy for Ash. w00t. Misty wasn't a bad character, but I felt there were a few wrong turns in her design. May came off as a much better built character than Misty. This was probably due to superior planning for the character, less predetermined character designs, and her lack of physical torture. (Predetermined character designs for Misty include, but are not limited to the following. The main thing i can remember now is "the Tomboyish Mermaid". I'm sure we all remember that.)

~Wizard Oujirou has spoken.~

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Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:10 pm
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I believe the quote was placed to direct Electra's comment towards Greedy-Gligar, and NOT Frost.

Of course, random irrelevant quotes thrown into posts seems like a logical conclusion, too.

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Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:27 pm
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WizardOujirou wrote:

Nice. You've summed up my thoughts that I've had about misty for YEARS. I felt that Misty was slightly necessary, to show that Ash Ketchup.......erm.......Ketchum... isn't the total baka we all think he is. The anime department might have felt that to give Ash a special place in our hearts, they'd make a character much more annoying in order to give us sympathy for Ash. w00t. Misty wasn't a

Quote:
I felt that Misty was slightly necessary, to show that Ash Ketchup.......erm.......Ketchum... isn't the total baka we all think he is.

Quote:
to show that Ash Ketchup......erm......Ketchum, isn't the total baka we think

Quote:
.......erm......Ketchum, isn't the toal baka

Quote:
isn't the total baka

Quote:
total baka

Quote:
baka

Quote:
baka

I am dissapoint.

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Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:55 pm
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You are so tsundere for Wizard-kun, Internet-kun. It's supa kawaii desu~

SUGOI!

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Mon Jul 13, 2009 9:41 pm
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O: So that's why she drags Brock away from true love. The truth comes out!


Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:49 am
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Hating someone cause of tit size is a horrible reason to hate them. Your other reasons though I completely agree with, she is a demon XD


Sat Aug 15, 2009 4:35 pm
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This is funny because it's true. Brock doesn't deserve that kind of hatred from an annoying little, thing.

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Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:57 pm
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My only problem with your little rant is the whole "underdeveloped sexually" thing. While I do agree Misty's a flat chested little 7 year old, can you honestly say a chick with double D's is gonna give it up to Pokemon nerds like us (not including everyone here, but some of us know where we fall)? You gotta learn to settle sometimes; plus you can use that insecurity to your advantage. Other than that though, this is a beautiful thread.

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Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:07 pm
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Sneaky Sneasel wrote:
You are so tsundere for Wizard-kun, Internet-kun. It's supa kawaii desu~

SUGOI!


I love Psypoke so much

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Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:28 pm
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Never being a big fan of the anime, I never really had much of an opinion of Misty.

However I've watched about 35 episodes of the first season this week, and I can say Misty is much more obnoxious than I remember her being. In the episode Pokemon Shipwreck, Ash, Brock, Misty, Jessie, and James get stranded on a ship that's sinking to the bottom of the ocean. After making a pact between Team Rocket and the main characters, they figure out how to escape the ship without dying. At this point in the series, Ash has one water Pokemon: Squirtle, Misty has three: Staryu, Starmie, and Goldeen, and Brock has none. Jessie and James only have Ekans, Koffing, Magikarp, and Meowth, none of which can swim.

The plan is to escape the ship via water Pokemon. Ash has Squirtle, Misty has Goldeen, and Brock has Starmie. As they escape, Jessie says "Wait! We don't have any Water Pokemon!" And Misty, who still has fucking STARYU, doesn't care and leaves anyway. Why the hell couldn't she give Jessie, James, and Meowth Starmie and give Brock Staryu? I'm sure a powerhouse like Starmie wouldn't have any trouble pulling two teenagers of normal weight and a cat Pokemon to the surface? If a piece of crap like Misty's Goldeen can pull HER out, I'm sure Staryu can handle Brock.

I was pretty disgusted when Pidgeotto brought back Team Rocket after they nearly drowned, because Misty somehow felt sorry for them. She must have been pretending, because when it came down to saving everyone, she didn't care about Team Rocket at all. She knew damn well they didn't have any water Pokemon, because James didn't reveal Magikarp to anyone except Jessie and Meowth.

I never really paid attention to Frost when he talked shit about Misty because I liked her in the anime when I was a kid, but now I really do think she's a bitch, mostly for that shipwreck episode.

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Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:12 am
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I loved the shipwreck arc, it was like my favourite part of the series. I always wished Ash had kept the damn Raticate. :(

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Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:07 am
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As cool as Raticate is, Butterfree is still infinitely cooler, even if Ash doesn't keep him around much longer.

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Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:47 am
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You know, I can't help but laugh at this thread in general. Yes, Misty can be an annoying cow sometimes, but I certainly don't have the evidence to rant about it like Frost did... Good job on that count!

The only question that's in my mind... How does he bash all the other human characters? Hmm...

And a clarification to Frost: All anime, or game characters, or both?

AEPMT ;) :mrgreen: :P :D

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Thu Apr 08, 2010 1:38 pm
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I completely agree with Frost on everything he wrote. May who in her infinite betterness than **** happens to be my favorite female main protagonist. Still **** is **** stupid and was rightfully booted off the show.

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Thu Apr 08, 2010 1:47 pm
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I'm no fan of Misty, but Dawn is 1000 times worse than Misty. WAAY too stupid, and a real let-down after May's character development.


Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:25 pm
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I'd have to agree with Frost here. Fully and completely.

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Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:07 am
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Peanut-Lover wrote:
I'm no fan of Misty, but Dawn is 1000 times worse than Misty. WAAY too stupid, and a real let-down after May's character development.


What do you mean a real let-down? Just because they replaced a smart actual developed character with their anthesis isn't a let-down. Its a smack across the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Fri Apr 09, 2010 6:42 am
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look at Misty's line of vision

ALTHOUGH LORELEI HAS HUGE KNOCKERS SO MAYBE THERE WAS NO OTHER PLACE TO LOOK

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Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:42 am
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Funny they weren't like that in the game. Why so different?

And Krisp, are you implying that's she something I shouldn't be saying here weird?

AEPMT :mrgreen: ;) :P 8-)

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