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 Cleansing Warswick (Rated T)- PUBLISHING SOON(fixed: Ch1-2) 

Who is your favorite Faction (must have read at least to chapter 5)
Poll ended at Fri May 06, 2011 6:57 am
Hand of God (Rebel/Human) 67%  67%  [ 2 ]
Linked Earth Worlds (Main Force/human) 33%  33%  [ 1 ]
Gilgathons (Alien) 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Elvidions (Alien) 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 3

 Cleansing Warswick (Rated T)- PUBLISHING SOON(fixed: Ch1-2) 
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Ace Trainer
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Chapter 19
Escape



Another Wargler fell as some of its limbs blew off from the shotgun blast. Sergeant McCoy pumped another round in the chamber as he turned to face another threat. He backed up a few steps and bumped into the back of another marine. He looked around, they were surrounded.

As they had lost marines in the fighting, the Gilgathons seemed to just try to beat them up, rip them apart, and tear at them with their hands over shooting them. Now they had them surrounded, jaws snapping eagerly.

“We’re surrounded!” said one of the marines.

“Hold steady, marines!” yelled Sergeant McCoy, “We got to by them time. We got to blow these lizard bastards back to the gates of hell!”

Then an explosion was heard, and a large blue light shot out of the top of the temple and into the sky. Sergeant McCoy tried to watch it, but it seemed to just keep going into the sky, right into space.

“W-what was that?” asked one of the marines in a heavy Jamaican accent.

“Hopefully,” said Sergeant McCoy, “A cry for surrender.”

One of the marines fired a burst into the head of a Drone, and McCoy took that chance to shoot another Drone in the gut, causing him to hunch over and fall to the ground. The Drones continued to close in, snarling and roaring at the marines.

Then, a large explosion shook the ground. Many of the Gilgathons fell to the ground, and the marines started loosing their balance, too.

“What is that?” yelled one of the marines.

“It’s them,” yelled sergeant McCoy, “They did it!”

Then the earth around them started to crack, crevices opened up as Gilgathons fell in. Sergeant McCoy caught a glimpse of the temple collapsing then he was knocked to his feet. He hit the ground hard, and he lost the cigar in his mouth.


Ruben held on tight has the creature weaved through the cavern. Only when the first signs of light shown through an opening at the end of the cavern did he look forward where the creature was going. A screech was heard, then the flying Gilgathon passed the exit and flew into the open sky.

Ruben felt a hand grab him as Biozard yelled, “Now, before he gets too high.”

Ruben caught a glimpse of Frank digging a grenade into the beast before his lifeline was cut and Ruben fell with Elrond through the sky. On his way down he watched as the others one by one jumped off the creature and down toward the ground. Ruben looked toward the temple, now looming off to his side.

A blue light broke free of the roof and shot into the sky. Before Ruben could think what it was the Gilgathon Bird exploded, leaving a cloud of guts in the air. It barely stunned Ruben, as he stared blankly into the sky mouthing the word “no”.

Then Ruben hit the ground and rolled, hard. It knocked the wind clear out of him, but he didn’t care. He just took a deep breath and rose to his knees. The others laid around him, even Rebuz, who already was making his way to his feet, standing and staring at the temple. Ruben rose to his feet, needing to gasp another breath of air to get his lungs working right again. His body ached and he felt uneasy but he made his way over next to Rebuz in time to feel the rumble.

He stared on as the temple seemed to wobble, then it fell in upon itself. Ruben felt his eyes well up as dust covered the area, and the temple disappeared.

“No,” he whispered, his voice noticeable horse.

Rebuz opened his visor, again, and stared at the remains of the temple. Soon, Ruben shook out of his shock long enough to notice the others. Frank and Clara cheered and danced and embraced while Leroy whimpered to himself, mumbling about how they weren’t safe from the “monsters”.

Ruben shook his head, as he felt Rebuz’s hand on his shoulder. Ruben turned, looking into Rebuz’s eyes.

“Your father,” said Rebuz, “Was as worthy a Zul’ Nugul as any Elvidion alive. I owe my life to him.”

Ruben nodded, but Rebuz continued.

“If anyone ever deserved a spot in the kingdom of God, your father was one. Do not mourn his death, but rejoice in our victory.”
Rebuz turned and yelled something in Elvidion to Biozard and Elrond, who began cheering and dancing around. Rebuz held out his hand, and a smirk came across his Elvidion face. Ruben sighed, and thought about what Rebuz said. Ruben smiled a bit. I guess he’s right, he thought.

“Now, we part,” said Rebuz, turning back to the humans.

“What?” asked Clara.

“I must, I will inform the Protice of our victory.”

“Will we ever see you guys again?” asked Ruben.

Rebuz turned toward him, then lowered his visor and began to walk away. Ruben just watched them as the Elvidions walked away, into the sunrise. He didn’t even notice Clara pulling out her radio and calling Dex.

“Dex, Dex, this is Sergeant Styx. We need immediate evac, STAT! We have suffered losses and we have wounded, over.”

“Clara, what happened? Did you do it? I’m sending any L.R.V.s immediately. Send off an emergency beacon immediately. Do you have one? What happened?”

Ruben was checking his gun when Frank approached him. Frank knelt next to Ruben and almost whispered to him.

“Ruben, I wanted to check out the courtyard. You know, to check on the others. I’m going to need someone to walk out of here with. I can’t go with your friends, you know.”

“Sure, Frank,” said Ruben.


When they reached the cliff overlooking the courtyard, all they saw was carnage. Smoke still created a fog like atmosphere over the piles of dead bodies and rubble. Temple remains were scattered across the place, and nothing seemed to be living.

Frank was the first to lower himself down into the courtyard, walking over dead and mangled Gilgathon bodies. Ruben followed him, covering his nose from the horrid stench of dead Gilgathons. Frank also had no problem running on top of the dead bodies, frantically searching for any human bodies. Finally they found the only remains they could. An arm and a burnt Battle Rifle.

Frank shook his head and sighed. Ruben just was silent.

“Well, I guess he went down the way he always wanted to,” said Frank, “Fighting. He died with his boots on.”

“Yeah,” said Ruben, “He was a stubborn old coot, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah,” said Frank, and he rose, looking around, “It feels wrong leaving him here, like it’s his grave. Ya know?”

Then something reached out and grabbed Frank’s arm. Frank yelped and spun around, Ruben stood stiff, reaching for his gun.

“You… better not leave me here… ass hole…” said a deep voice between grunts of pain.

“Sarge!” yelled Frank.

“Yeah, who do you think? The damn Easter bunny? Now get me out of here”

Sergeant McCoy was waist deep in Gilgathon corpses. He had managed to push a couple off him and he saw Frank and Ruben. When they had helped him out, he stood and stretched, looking around.

“Ah-ha! We did it. We showed those alien bastards who runs this damn show, Marine style. Who-raw!” he said, surveying the destruction.

Frank flipped on a small beacon on his belt and turned to the Sergeant.

“So,” said Sergeant McCoy, “How did it go? Were those Elves guys impressed?”

“It was okay, I guess,” answered Ruben, “Terkins got injured, and…”

Ruben then looked toward the temple, a frown formed on his face.

“And the Captain?” asked McCoy, “How’s your ol’ man?”

Ruben didn’t answer; he just kept staring at the temple ruins. Sergeant McCoy put his arm around Ruben, and he stared at the ruins himself.

“I’m… I’m sorry, kid. Your father was a good man. A better leader? There was none. A lot of marines would give their socks to be just like him,” said Sergeant McCoy, then he turned Ruben to look him directly in the eye and said, “A lot of soldiers, a lot of people, possibly the whole human race owes their lives to him.”

Ruben said nothing, just watched the temple as smoke rose from it. In the distance a pillar of green light flashed across the sky. Ruben wondered what it could have been. But before he had time to react five L.E.W. drop ships flew over his head and circled above. The drop pods of two of them let out a crew of Marines who scanned the area while the other three ships landed, allowing their full crew to be let out and search the place.

Ruben couldn’t help but smile a bit. It was over, the nightmare was over. They had done it. They had saved Warswick. They had stopped the Gilgathons. They had WON.

I mean, thought Ruben, what else could go wrong?


And that passion ends the book!!!! AH! It's done, aren't you excited? I know, cheesey alst line, but what can I say? Well, I thnk you for reading this, if you're reading this then obviously you've read the book this far. I bid you farewell, and I hope tht you have time to check out Cleansing Warswick's Sequal comming soon. Cleansing Silver Nava IV is more action packed, longer, and opens up a new realm of knowledge of my world not seen in this book. Well, stay tuned, and God Bless!


Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:34 pm
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I'm happy to anounce Cleansing Warswick has gone through a big change, and looks longer and more pretty then the text you may/maynot have read here. But the real news is it's undergone the process of... BADAA!

Getting it Published!

That's right, I'm going through the baby process of getting the dman thing published. That's everything, copywrite, publishing meets, and complete re-write of the book (not complete, but you get what I mean).

Over the next few weeks I'll be pouring over Warswick and giving it a complete polish-up and, hopefully, be able to get the thing published. Wish me LUCK!


Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:23 pm
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Well, I just read the first two chapters. Only time kept me from going on right now. The flow is nice and smooth. The big problem is too many spelling/grammatical errors. Here's a few, but there were some others I'm sure you'll catch as you work on it for publishing:

The “Pack Leader” could be scene -> seen clearly; he had an armored like -> armor-like vest on over his toga top and an object that resembled a barbarian sword on his back.
Ruben nodded, and his father retrieved his Assault Rifle and aimed it over the side, looking at the Gilgathons, they -> Gilgathons. They had not been seen. (There's a few more run-on sentences like this. Be sure to keep an eye for them.)
we all don’t pull the same wait -> weight. Com’on -> C'mon or Come on Ruben,
A rustle caught his attention, so quiet a normal human wouldn’t have ever noticed, he barely noticed it. <- Unclear wording, you might want to fix it so it makes more sense to the reader.
brushed his white walrus mustache with his fingers, as he talks -> talked with Colonel “Goliath” Gordon

There's also General Swahili. It just bothers me that you said "despite his name, he has American heritage" and left it at that. I think you should really consider coming up with a reason or it'll just look awkward and lazy, and a point against you with the critics.

And maybe you should revamp all that dialogue. It's a bit bland with just speech. Give the characters a bit of motion as they talk to eachother. It spices the sequence up and makes the characters more human.

Well, that's all from me. Good luck with getting this published and I look forward to reading more!


Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:42 pm
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Why, thank you. Again, may I say, most of this I know, and ALOT has already been fixed (just not here). One thing I KNOW I need to fix is DESCRIPTION, DESCRIPTION, DESCRIPTION!

I struggle with it, and I don't know why. When I really focus, I get really into it, possibly too descriptive. This becomes waaay more apparant in the second book, but that's later.

Also, please, I beg of you, don't be turned off. The first four chapters are oh so rough, excpecially in this old state. I need to update them, but haven't gotten to it. Again, hopefully this turn of events in the books life will have me seriously revamping it. I'm meeting with my advisor thursday, so it'll be fun!


Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:58 pm
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Chapter One is Done! I have just updated the chapter one here (I reread the one here and OMG how outdated it was!). Hopefully this will spark more interest in my book and hook you guys in. I'm already hard at work with both Revising Chapter 2 and Finishing up Chapter 18 in SIlver Nava IV, so wish me luck, mates!


Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:16 am
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Wow, it's been nearly two months since my last read of this? O_o Sorry, March through June is the busiest time of year for me and the past month has been particularly rough. Anyway, I just read chapter 3 and it looks pretty good. Your descriptions are fine. You just want enough to give the reader a general image and they'll fill in the rest. If you point out every little detail, the story becomes a bit bland and slow, in my opinion. The characters are great. There's a lot of life in this story which makes it a lot more fun to read. And out of curiosity, do you even proofread this? I'm not gonna point out all the errors I caught this time, but if you want I will.


Fri May 01, 2009 4:40 am
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LOL, yes I do. And since I'm working on (possibly) getting it published I've even got an advisor proof-reading this (he's read it through, thinks it has a shot. But going through chapter by chapter is a bugger!)

Again, waaaay back when I posted most of these (earlier versions) it was complete them and through them wherever I posted them. These are so OLD and OUTDATED! Chapter One is the only one so far completley fixed and updated and perfect in my mind (not perfect but you get the idea). Chapter Two's comming up, then I need to re-meet with my advisor.

BTW, it's sequel, Silver Nava IV. FINISHED! That's right, yesterday I put in the final three chapters. Hurray! Now to wait until... never mind that'll come later. >:)


Fri May 01, 2009 6:20 am
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Well good luck getting it published. I'm working on a book myself. I've always wanted to be a successful author. Anyways it's great. I'd love to see it on a barnes and nobles shelf.

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Wed May 06, 2009 6:46 pm
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