This is really good!
But,I agree with lordtomato;you DO need a few improvememts.
You get all that figured out,and you've got yourself a fine story in the making.
May I suggest that you add in few more details and expand the vocabulary used in the story?
For example instead of using "pretty" repeatedly (not that you would use this word in your story LOL),you should change it to using pretty along with beautiful,gorgeous,admirable,fantastic,etc.
This would make things even better!
Flame loves it too!
My new Dark dragon,Chaos!