The punctuation and sentence structure is off.
Things like this:
Quote:
the only way to kill a pure werewolf was to shoot us with silver bullets. unfortunately they had these but they wont work unless we were pure werewolfs and for centuries we found this weakness of ours and we changed our parentage to none so that the child was to be contaminated only after birth and if if it wasnt a lycan before its life began.
Are waaaay too long sentences, you might want to put a period or two in there. I also didn't like how you combined some words and left out the capitalization,
. You have a good creative story and I think it would make a great book, but if you decide to publish it you might want to get a good editor. Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent, excellent, beginning of a story but you might want to copy/paste it into a word document with spell check before posting here. Other than that I am impressed at how you opened the story, few people can begin a book that well.