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 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Wierdness 
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Pokemon Ranger
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This is my first Legend of Zelda Fanfic, I'm not very good at writing fanfics, but I'm confident you'll like it for all it's randomness. This story is Humor/Action/Adventure
__________________________________________________________________________

Chapter One


"This is boring. Why are we doing this again?" asked Jesse as he watched his friend Kayla set up the Game Cube.

"Because you refuse to even try to play The Legend of Zelda, so I am fixing it." Kayla responded, digging around for the case to The Legend of Zelda: Special Edition disk.

"Geez, I finally get to go over to your house for once, and you force me to play this stupid game." he complained, flopping down on Kayla's bed.

"You would do the same thing to me if I didn't like Sonic." said Kayla

"No I wouldn't!" Jesse protested

"Well too bad! You're gonna play it and you're gonna like it."

"No!"

"Yes." Kayla said as she popped in the disk and a memory card "Or I will never leave you alone." she turned on the console and TV and joined Jesse on her bed. The Nintendo logo flashed on the screen and then the options came up. Kayla scrolled through the list of games until she found the one she wanted, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

"You ready?"

"Okay, just one last question before I die. Why is your room pink?"

"My mom did it a few years ago while I was away at church camp. If it was up to me, it would be day-glo orange and midnight blue."

"Weirdo."

"I know." Kayla smiled, she liked being called weird. Jesse sighed. It's going to be a long day.

The game finished loading and now it was at the title screen. Link was riding Epona and there was pretty music playing in the background.

"I love this game! It's got everything I love! Puzzles, monsters, magic, pretty music, swords, hot chicks..."

"Not caring--wait, did you just say 'hot chicks'?"

"Yeah, so what if I did? There are chicks in the game that are hot. But don't mess with them, or they will kill you. Seriously, I had to hide in the well of three features for a whole day once!"

"Well of three features?"

"Yeah. Dark, scary, and wet."

"That's stupid, can we just get this over with already?"

"Okey dokey." Kayla pressed start and went to the screen where you choose a file. She started a new save file and typed in the name "Link" and chose enter

"I don't want to be named Link! I wanted the name Sonic!" Jesse whined

"Too bad, Sega boy. Now come on, start playing." Kayla handed him the controller and then the power went out.

"I knew this would happen, it always does. Why do you think I don't like the game?" said Jesse. Kayla was about to argue with him, when the TV started to glow a deep blue color. They stood there, frozen, staring at the TV. A couple minutes had passed, and then the blue light started swirling around, creating what looked like a portal. Jesse stood a little bit closer to examine the swirly portal and Kayla stood where she was, thinking 'I've read about this in fanfics, but I never thought it could actually happen! Hmm...If this is just like in the fanfics, then...' she walked up to Jesse and put her hand on his shoulder. Jesse turned around

"What?" Kayla smiled

"Bai bai." she said in a sing-song voice, and shoved him into the portal. Kayla grabbed her backpack and put in all the things she needed to survive: sketchbook, pencils, pens, laptop, MP3, headphones, batteries, and the guide for the game.

She slung the backpack over her shoulder and took one last look at her room
"So long, reality!" she shouted, and jumped into the portal.

__________________________________________________________________________

Hope you all like it! Please R&R!

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Last edited by Youkou no Mugon on Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:49 am, edited 3 times in total.



Fri Jul 06, 2007 9:38 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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W00t W00t, what a weird story.

When I first read the title I though it would be another Link-starring whatnot adventure of a Zelda fanfic, but... let´s say it started way different from what I expected.


Kayla wrote:
'I've read about this in fanfics, but I never thought it could actually happen! Hmm...if this is just like in the fanfics, then...'


LOL That part.

Anyway, you should keep it, but you need to double space when a paragraph is done and when a character finishes the dialogue, check for grammar typos and add length to this fic :P

6.8/10 so far.

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Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:49 pm
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Thanks for the comment, I am going to continue it. MajorGameBoy's helping me write this, but it's mostly me who's doing it. I have read fanfics like this one, so that's how I came up with the idea for it. The second chapter will be coming up soon

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Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:30 pm
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This is rather...strange...but it is funny too. I am just wondering what it is going to be like...can't wait for the next chapter!


Sat Jul 07, 2007 2:04 pm
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I edited the first chapter, is this better?

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Sat Jul 07, 2007 2:42 pm
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Here's chapter two! Whee randomness!!
________________________________________________________________________

Chapter Two

Jesse, after being pushed into the portal, soon felt like he was falling. After a few seconds, he realized he was falling. He shook his fist towards the sky and shouted

"Darn you Kayla!!!" and promptly crashed into the ground, bringing someone down with him. He sat up after a few minutes when he heard someone groan. He jumped up and started apologizing, when he saw who it was that he smushed. The person was a boy who had blond hair, pointed ears, and wore a green tunic. Jesse had a heart attack

"Oh my God! I killed Link!" he shouted "Wait a minute, Link?"

"What ails ye, child?" said a deep voice in old English. Jesse turned and his jaw dropped to the ground.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! FREAKY MUSTASCHED TREE!!!" Jesse shouted, and started running around in circles, but stopped suddenly when something fell from the sky and hit him in the head, knocking him out. Link groaned again and stood up; he looked at the now unconscious Jesse and said

"Weirdo." He looked at the thing and found it was a backpack. Then he looked up at the sky and saw something else fall from it. He squinted his eyes and saw that it was an orange fairy. He stepped to the side and watched as the little fairy fall to the ground, bounce and fall again. He laughed and a small, blue fairy thumped him on the back of the head

"That wasn't funny, you know." said the blue fairy

"Yes it was." Link said, still laughing

"No it wasn't! Poor fairy..."

"Oh chill Navi." The orange fairy sat up and rubbed the back of her head

"Owowowowow, that smarts." she said. Navi flew over to her and said "Are you okay? My name's Navi."

"Yeah, my head hurts a little, but I'm fi--." The fairy paused "Navi?" said fairy nodded

"Yep, I'm Navi! What's your name?"

"Kayla.... Wait, why are we the same height?" Kayla asked "Am, am I a fairy?"

"Well duh, what else would you be, a Zora?" Link said. Kayla screamed

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't be a fairy! Fairies are stupid! And annoying! They have ONA!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" then she burst into tears.

Jesse woke up and saw three things. The Great Deku Tree, A.K.A "freaky mustached tree"; Link, and an orange fairy crying about how she couldn't be a fairy

"Did you by any chance notice that you are both those things?" Link said

"What's ONA?" Navi asked

"Obvious Nonsense Attacks." answered Jesse. Kayla tried out her new wings and flew over to him

"Jess?" she asked

"Kayla?" he asked. Kayla burst out laughing

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"What?"

"Y-you're wearing, you're wearing--!" Kayla couldn't finish. Link saw Jesse's attire and snickered. Jesse looked down at his
clothes

"Lightish red? Sweet!" Jesse said

"You're wearing PINK!!" Kayla shouted, and laughed even more. Jesse's outfit looked like Link's adult one, but, as Kayla had said, it was pink.

"It's not pink!" Jesse shouted, "Its lightish red."

"Which is pink." Kayla stated. Jesse was about to argue with Kayla more, when they heard someone else shout (that's a lot of shouting)

"Out of the way Mido!"

"No way! I let Mr. No Fairy by, but there's no way I'm lettin' you by! You and your faceless freak!" another voice, Mido, answered. Kayla floated there, wide eyed

"There's no way. Is that Kon he's talking to?" Kayla asked

"You leave Stal alone you stupid midget!" The voice, presumably Kon yelled

"Make me!" Mido said. There was what sounded like a kick and a girl and a Stalkid came into view. The girl had pointed ears, like Link. She also had bright red hair, blue eyes, and wore a green tunic with leather boots. The girl looked at the four and said

"Sorry I'm late; I had some business to take care of." Link smiled.

"No worries, Kon. What'd you do to Mido this time; did you punch him or kick him?" Kon grinned

"Both. Little jerk got what he deserved, especially after he insulted Stalkid." She gave Link a high five and asked

"Now, who are these two?" referring to Kayla and Jesse.

"This kid is Jesse, and the ditz is--"

"I'm Kayla!" said ditz exclaimed, "I must be dreaming, I must really be dreaming! Somebody pinch me--OUCH!!" Kayla shouted, as Stalkid had pinched her

"What'd you do that for!?"

"You said to pinch you." Stalkid said. Kayla smiled dreamily

"This is really real..." she sighed. Kon stared at the fairy

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Jesse said, "So, you're Kon, and you're Stalkid, right?"

"Yep! So...why is she like that?" Kon asked

"Oh her? She's always been like that." Jesse responded

"Dos thou hath the courage?" The Great Deku Tree asked, apparently, he had been talking the whole time

"Huh? Oh, sure." Link said.

"Very well. Now...enter!" The Great Mustached Tree said, and opened his mouth

"Nani?!" said Link, "Are you serious?"

"He is, yes! We gots ta go in 'im and stop the curse!" Kayla said enthusiastically

"I'm not going in there." said Jesse defiantly.

"Oh really?" Kayla said who was, by some miracle, now holding her backpack.

"No, I am not going in there." he repeated

"Jesse, what normally happens when you refuse to do something?"

"You--never mind, I'll go." grumbled Jesse. Kayla smiled and said

"Well, what are you all waiting for? Let's go, 'ttebayo!" and flew into the tree's mouth. Jesse sighed

"How do I get myself into these things?" he, and the rest of the group, followed the hyper fairy into the mouth of the lion, er, tree.

"Hurry up Link, we have to go see the Great Deku Tree!" said Navi

"We're IN the Deku Tree Navi! Shut up!" Jesse yelled

"Wow, you caught on quickly." said Kayla

"Shut up Kayla! I swear, if you catch her disease I'm going fairy hunting." Kayla meeped and flew into Stalkid's hat.

__________________________________________________________________________

More randomness and a long chapter coming soon! :D

Oh yeah, a little explaination about Kon and Stalkid. Kon is Kayla's original character. She is kind of like Edward Elric, and really, REALLY hates Mido. The reason Kayla's so suprised is because Kon isn't supposed to be in there, since this is the game. Stalkid is Kayla's second original character, and is basically an LoZ version of Alphonse Elric: Calm and easygoing. Stalkid is what Skull Kid's are called in the LoZ manga by Akira Himegawa.

And yes, Kayla is me, if you were wondering.

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Last edited by Youkou no Mugon on Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:59 am, edited 2 times in total.



Sat Jul 07, 2007 2:56 pm
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I'll agree with you when you said it was random! 7.5/10!

Yay! My 200th post!

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Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:53 am
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I say Youkou, I couldn´t stop giggling through the entire chapter, you really got the imagination.

lol all the randomness and the "freaky mustached tree".

Also, how come Kayla is an orangish fairy and Jesse is wearing PINK? *Can´t process*

I remember, you did take my advice of double-spacing more often, huh? you see, now the story looks more organised and readable, I hope to see next installment soon.

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Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:26 am
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Well, Kayla is a fairy because I thought it would be fun to pick on myself, that and Jesse needed a gaurdian fairy. The real Jesse actually wanted to be dressed in pink, I think it's because he's been watching Red vs Blue.

I'm typing this without my glasses on, it's a pain, but I'm doing it. *is very nearsighted*

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Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:43 pm
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To tell you the truth, I thought it was rather funny to do that...I mean, she got the guide right? And Navi helped Link in the game, right? So Kayla is technically just the guide! IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!!!


Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:01 pm
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^ I didn´t think of that, so true it makes sense now ^

I say Youkou, this is going to get better but please, don´t go mean on Navi as many TLoZ knowers do, some of them dislike Navi for she´s such an "Annoying" fairy, so I ask you not to go mean on her, as a guide, she doesn´t deserve it.

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Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:12 pm
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Hmmm....whoops, gues I shouldn't have done that then...

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Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:37 pm
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un-freakin-beliveable! 8.5/10

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Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:21 pm
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Dark Scyther127 wrote:
un-freakin-beliveable! 8.5/10

The Reader's Guide to Reading

Anywho, a new paragraph begins everytime a different character speaks. This is true no matter how short or long the dialogue is. And that all I saw.

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Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:37 pm
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The third chapter will be up as soon as my Co-auther comes on and approves it, but he's taking forever to do so.

EDIT: Oh screw it, here's the first part of the third chapter. It is divided in half because it is very, very long. About 25 pages or so to be exact

___________________________________________________________________

Chapter Three part one

The group had entered the Great Deku Tree. They knew that because big white words appeared that said "Inside the Deku Tree".

"Sweet mother of Sunday biscuts, what was that?!" Kon said

"Ah, you'll get used to it," said Kayla, coming out from Stalkid's hat.

"There are three Deku Babas and a huge spiderweb in the middle...." she nodded her head.

"Okay, first thing we do is kill those Deku babas, we'll get Deku Sticks and Deku Nuts when we beat them. Okay?"

"Deku what?!" Jesse choked

"Deku Nuts," Kayla said calmly. She saw the shocked and disgusted look on his face "It's a seed you baka!" she shouted, thumping him on the back of the head.

"Ow! What'd ya do that for?!" Jesse yelled, rubbing his head

"Baka sukebe!!!" Kayla yelled, hitting him this time with her backpack, but he was able to duck and it hit Link instead

"AAAAAHHHH!!! Sharp and pointy things making contact with mah skull!!!" Link yelled randomly (yay yelling)

"Sharp and pointy things? I don't have any sharp and pointy things in my backpack." Kayla said. To prove her point, she set down her backpack and jumped in it (she IS a fairy, and the backpack is normal size). A few minutes of silence, and then...

"Um guys? I'm stuck..." she said. The group sweatdropped, and Stalkid, being the nice person he is, went over to Kayla's backpack and pulled her out. She smiled and held up her MP3 player

"Found it!" she declared proudly

"What about the sharp and pointy things?" asked Jesse

"Oh, those?" Kayla said, putting a battery in her MP3, "There right here." Kayla held up some kunai and shuriken.

"Steely and tobi! Cool!" Jesse said, taking the weapons from the fairy

"Kunai and shuriken, not steely and tobi." corrected Kayla

"No, they're steely and tobi."

"Kunai and shuriken! Say it with me, ku-nai."

"Steely."

"Shu-ri-ken."

"Tobi."

"Kunai and shuriken!"

"Steely and tobi!" Jesse said, holding a kunai with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Um, guys?" Kon said, stopping their argument before it got bloody, "Where's aniki?"

"Yeah, Link's gone." said Stalkid

"So he is," observed Kayla,

"I wonder where he--" she was cut off by a shout from above them

"YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Link as he jumped from one of the higher levels of the dungeon. He quickly drew his sword and slashed through the web in the middle of the floor level, which was where the rest of the group was. He fell through the new opening he made, and the gang went over to check it out. Link had landed in the water below them, he looked up at them and grinned

"You cheat!" Kayla yelled to Link, "You wasn't supposed go on without us!"

"You and Pinky were having a pointless argument," came Link's reply,

"So I went on ahead."

"Lightish red!" shouted Jesse. Kayla sighed and scratched the back of her head

"Oh well, I guess it can't be helped..." she said, and then remembered something,

"Hey Link, did you get that Golden Skulltula Token?"

"Yes I did..." Link said, killing the Golden Skulltula on the wall with his slingshot that he had aquirred from another place in the dungeon

"In fact, I just got another and am about to get yet another one," he continued, eyeing a second Golden Skulltula on the bars on the opposite wall.

"Well hold on, we're coming down." Kayla said. She flew down to Link, while the others just climbed the wall covered in vines.

"How did you know about those things?" asked Link. Kayla froze up

"What things?" Kayla said, acting innocent

"The Golden Skulltula Tokens."

"Oh them, right."

"So?"

"So what?"

"How did you know about them if you never saw them?"

".............." Kayla ignored his question and turned to Jesse,

"Hey Jess, do you see that wierd-looking spider over there?" she said, gesturing towards the Golden Skulltula still on the bars.

"What about it?" he asked

"Use your kunai to kill it."

"They're steely." Jesse said, but did as he was told anyways. He threw two kunai at the spider, killing it. To his suprise, a gold skull token thing appeared where the spider was. He ran up to the token and started poking it

"What is it?"

"That's a Golden Skulltula Token." said Navi

"A Golden whatta-whosa?"

"Skulltula." Kayla said,

"They signify that you have killed a spider of the curse. If you collect enough of them, you will get something special." she continued. Kon, Stalkid, Link, and Navi all stared at her

"What?"

"How do you know all that stuff?" asked Kon
"Because I......." Kayla paused for dramatic effect "........am GOD!!!" Kayla yelled. The real goddesses, however, did not like her response, so they sent Farore down and she slapped the follish orange fairy silly

"You're not a god!!! You're not even 6 inches tall!!!" the goddess shouted, and disappeared. Soon, the five, after recovering from the initial shock of seeing a goddess appear out of nowhere and slap a fairy silly, saw Kayla in sobbing hysterics. Jesse asked her what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" asked Jesse

"I-I, I'm--" Kayla said between sobs

"Crazy?" said Link

"I'm SHORT!!!" Kayla shouted, crying like a five-year-old

"Is that all? Jeez Kayla, you were short as a human, why is this any different?" said Jesse. He took Kayla's backpack and got out her MP3. How it got back in there, nobody knew

"Here, make yourself happy." he said, handing the fairy the MP3 player

"Yay!" she said, snapping out of her crying completely. She took the music player and stuck the headphones in her ears. As she turned on the MP3, Jesse sighed and turned to the group

"What's a human?" asked Link. He asked this because he is a Hylain, and has never heard of humans.

"Long story short, humans look like you guys except they don't have pointed ears. So, before she starts crying her head off again, I suggest we get going." there were murmers of agreement, so Jesse turned to a door blocked off by a web in the corner,

"I'm guessing that we have to burn through that web, right?"

"Yep." said Kayla

"Aren't you listening to your music?" Jesse asked, raising an eyebrow

"Yep. Pikachu Genki Dechu main theme."

"Then how can you hear us? Normally, you have your MP3 up so loud you can barely hear someone shouting at you, even if they're right beside you."

"The song dosen't have any words."

"Ah, okay." Jesse said.

"Your friend Kayla is starting to really freak me out." said Stalkid

"You should see her when she's hyper," said Jesse, picking up a Deku Stick that was lying on the ground,

"This is as 'normal' as she gets."

"How do you put up with her?" asked Link in bewilderment

"Like the secret of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, the world may never know." Jesse replied, lighting the stick on fire and burning away the webs.

"Ya know, I always wondered why the Great Mustasched Tree never burned down whenever you put fire to the webs." Kayla said, watching as the flame only burned the web, but didn't touch the tree at all.

"I don't think we'll ever figure that out." said Kon,

"I just want to get outta here A.S.A.P."

"Well, let's go in the other room and see what we find." Kayla said, although she knew what was in the room. The six went into the room, and there they saw a small patch of grass. Kayla recognized it as being the nest for a Deku Nut Skrub, but she didn't bother telling anyone about it, for Link had already pulled out his Deku Shield. The Deku Nut Skrub suddenly popped out and shot a Deku Nut at Kon, but Link jumped in front of Kon and deflected the nut with his shield, sending it flying back to the skrub. The nut made contact with the small monster and the skrub ran around the room, away from the group. Link, having already fought a Deku Nut Skrub earlier in the dungeon, simply stood on the patch of grass so then the Deku couldn't hide in it again. After a few seconds, it gave up and walked up to Link

"Please forgive me, master!" The Deku said,

"I'll never do it again! If you spare me, I'll teach you something cool. You will never beat my brothers up ahead unless you punish them in the proper order."

"Okay..." said Link

"The order is...2 3 1. Twenty-three is number one! Do you think I'm a traitor?" he added, leaving a heart and running off. Link shrugged and picked up the heart. Kayla, becoming suddenly lax, looked at the eye thing at the top of the door the Deku had been in front of.

"Hit the eye and the door will open up." said Kayla as the others were trying to open the door. Link pulled out his slingshot and hit the eye, and as Kayla said, it opened. They went through the door and saw a pool of water in front them with a moving platform in it. In the middle of it was a rotating thing with spikes. Kayla motioned for Jesse and told him to swim to the left, and then dive. She said that there was a switch on the bottom that would lower the water so then they could get over the water on the platform without hitting themselves with the spikey-thing. Jesse asked why they couldn't just swim across

"Why can't we just swim across?" Jesse asked

"'Cause it wouldn't be as much fun. Besides, you can't anyways." she answered. Jesse shrugged her off, and jumped into the water

"The water isn't even that deep!" Jesse exclaimed, as the water was only up to his chest.

"You're 14, and Link's 10. This dungeon was designed for him, so of course it's gonna be like that for you." said Kayla. Link looked at her

"'Designed for me'? What do you mean?" asked Link skeptically

"I mean what I say and I say what I mean." she answered simply. Jesse waded through the water and tried pulling himself up on the other side, but he was blocked by some unseen force

"What the?"

"Told you. You've gotta go with the flow, man." Kayla said, turning all hippie.

"Oh shut up you hippie." Jesse returned

"Would you guys stop arguing already?!" shouted Stalkid, hitting them with a large mallet. Jesse and Kayla shrunk back

"Yes Stalkid..." they mumbled

"Good. Now Jesse, since your already in the water, step on that button and lower the water, and then get on that platform." said Stalkid, Jesse obeying because Stalkid was scary when he was angry, and getting hit with a mallet really hurt. Stalkid went calm again "Okay guys, lets go." Kayla, Link, Navi and Kon all jumped onto the platform as it came closer to them. As they were riding on the platform, Kon turned to Stalkid

"That was...scary, you normally don't do that." she commented

"Well, I normally don't have to. Besides their arguing was getting annoying." Stalkid replied. They all hopped off and Kon saw a Big Skulltula beside a block that was up against the wall

"Oooohh...can I kill it?" Kon asked with a grin

"Knock yourself out." said Kayla. Kon pulled out a Deku Stick and faced the spider monster

"Wait 'till it turns around before you hit it." Kayla added. Kon nodded and waited a few seconds until the Big Skulltula turned around. Then she hit the spider with the stick, but the stick didn't break. The Skulltula turned around again after glowing red, and Kon hit it again, this time killing it. The stick still not breaking.

"Why didn't that stick break when you hit that spider?" asked Jesse

"It's a Deku Staff." said Kon and Kayla in unison

"Stop doing that!" shouted Kon

"Doing what?" asked Kayla

"Knowing stuff!"

"Oh...okay." Kayla put on a blank face and stared out into space, then she turned on her MP3 and started listening to the music for Clock Town. As the fairy started dancing, Kon tried to pull on the block. Finding it too heavy, she turned to the others

"Well?" she said

"Well what?" asked Link

"Are you gonna help me pull this thing?"

"Yeah." Link said. They both got on one side of the block and pulled, the block sliding easily. When they couldn't move any more, the both of them hopped up on the blocked and from there they climbed to the ledge just above them. Kon assisted Stalkid and Link stood by the door, waiting for the others to come up. Jesse, feeling hurt, got up on the ledge without the use of the block. Kayla just flew up. Link boredly opened the door and found a Deku Baba, a lit torch, and two torches unlit, the door slammed shut and somehow got barred. Link disposed of the monster, earning him a Deku Stick. Stalkid picked up the Deku Stick and put it to the lit torch, lighting the stick. He took the flaming stick and lit the other torches, opening up the door on the opposite end. Everyone went out the newly opened door and found themselves behind a Big Skulltula. Jesse stabbed the spider monster with his kunai, making the Skulltula turn around. A few seconds later, the Skulltula turned back around, exposing it's under belly, Jesse struck it again and it died. They walked farther into the circular room and Kayla stooped them

"Hey Link, look up, and shoot those freaky looking things with your slingshot." she said. Link, heeding her advice, looked up and saw three pod-like things and he grimiced when they started wiggling a little and quickly shot and killed the pods

"What were those things?" Link asked Kayla

"Gohma Larvae. You really wouldn't want to face them, they're creepy." Kayla answered with a shudder

"Who's Gohma?"

"You'll find out in a few minutes. For now, just burn down those webs over on your right." Link took out a Deku stick and, avoiding the Baba near the wall, lit up the stick. He ran across the room and burned down the web, revealing a hole. They all took turns crawling through the hole, going youngest to oldest. When it was Jesse's turn, he made it about halfway before he got stuck. Kayla, laughing, shouted for the others to help on the other side, with them pulling on their side and Kayla pushing on her side. They pushed and pulled, but Jesse wouldn't come out. Kayla, exhausted, plopped down on the floor and said

"Jeez, you're really stuck in there." She was thinking about ways to get him unstuck, when a HUGE gust of wind slammed into her and sent her flying into the air. Jesse had farted. Jesse's fart had shot him out of the hole he was stuck in and knocked Link, Kon, and Stalkid over like bowling pins. Stalkid picked himself up and crawled back through the hole and came back out holding an unconscious fairy that was a sickly green color.

"Man, that was rank! Look what you just did to Kayla!" Stalkid said

"I don't wanna go to school Mommy, I wanna stay home and bake cookies with you..." muttered Kayla. Jesse smiled sheepishly after he got up and took Kayla and put her in a pocket in her backpack.

After that little fiasco was over, they saw that they were in the room that had the Golden Skulltulas, only on the higher part of it. This level had a few Deku Babas, which Kon, Link, and Jesse took care of. Kon and Stalkid pushed a block into the water, and Kayla lit a Deku Stick on fire, aweing at the pretty colors (she flew out of her backpack yelling about rabid Dragon Ball Z fans coming to suck out their brains). Jesse quickly took the stick away from her, fearing she might go pyro and burn everything up, but then dropped it, burning away the web underneath him. He looked down, and ran cartoon style in mid-air, trying unsuccesfuly to get back on solid ground. He then, of course, fell into the hole, landing in the water with a big splash. Kayla, her slight pyro-ness satisfied, pushed the others into the hole, because she felt like it.

"Okay," Jesse said as he got up from his fall into the not very deep water,

"I've learned two things just now. One, I can now run in mid-air like a cartoon character, and two, Kayla is an idiot. No, wait, I've always known that. Now I wonder what--" his thoughts were interrupted as he got knocked upside the head by a Deku Nut. He looked ahead and saw three Deku Scrubs, and they were all shooting nuts at them. Link, being the only one there with a sheild, blocked the nut that the Deku on the left was shooting, but when the nut hit the Scrub, it didn't seem to affect it

"What the..?" said Link, raising up his sheild to block the nut from the Scrub in the middle. This time, when it hit the Scrub, it turned blue and started squeaking.

"2, 3, 1, Twenty-three is number one. 2, 3, 1, twenty-three is number one~." Kayla sang happily

"What nonsense are you blabbering about now, Kayla?" asked Jesse, peeved because he got beaned in the head

"I like chocolate milk!" shouted Kayla, who sounded a lot like Cheese

"Shut up, Kayla."

"Bunnies!" said Kayla, pointing at the two remaining Deku Scrubs. She flew towards them, wanting to hug them, but they screamed like little girls and commited suicide, opening the door.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Akinafurm! Laijencgd! They were too young to die!!!"

"You named them?!" asked Link

"Yes, they were my bestest fwiends!!" Kayla cried, showing them pictures of the Deku Scrubs

"You are really starting to scare me, d'you know that?" said Jesse,

"Can we please just go through the door already?"

"Okay!" said Kayla, completely forgetting about the dead Dekus. When they all went through the door, they found themselves in a large, mist-filled room. Kayla shivered and hid behind Stalkid "I hate this part. Hurry up, please." she said, obvious fear in her voice.

"What's so scary about this?" asked Kon. Kayla pointed a quivering finger out ahead of them. Link concentrated his focus, and saw a yellow-red circle moving in the distance, he jumped when he saw it was an eye.

"Kayla..." said Link,

"...what is that?"

"Gohma." Kayla said, quickly flying into Stalkid's hat as the eye stopped moving around and it rolled in its socket. The owner of the freaky-looking eye came into the light from the ceiling and dropped down, big white words came up that said "Parasitic Armored Arachnid Gohma".

"How do we beat this thing?!" shouted Link, as Gohma started moving closer to them. Kayla poked her head out of Stalkid's hat and said

"When her eye turns red, bombard her with the slingshot. After that, hit her with your sword." and with that, she went back to her hiding place. Link took aim with his slingshot, when...

"Oh my Goddesses, it's Link!" exclaimed Gohma.

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Last edited by Youkou no Mugon on Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:10 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:12 pm
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Part Two of chapter 3

__________________________________________________________________

"Oh my Goddesses, it's Link!" exclaimed Gohma. The group stared wide eyed as Gohma started shaking Link's hand furiously.

"I love you, Link! I'm your biggest fan!" she continued, hugging him. Jesse, Kon, and Stalkid continued to stare

"Now that is freaky." said Jesse

"Why?" asked Stalkid

"Hello, she's a frickin' spider-scorpion-monster-thing with a freaky huge eye!" Jesse ranted,

"And she's totally OBSESSED with a 10-year-old!"

"Good point." said Stalkid. As they were reasoning this, Link was still having the life squeezed out of him by the obsessive fangirl-monster-thing. Suddenly, Kayla burst out of Stalkid's hat, charging at Gohma with the Great Fairy's Sword in her hand

"I'm commin' for you Link!" she shouted, stabbing Gohma in her eye. Gohma shrieked and was about to launch a counter attack, when Kayla did a wierd attack with the sword that looked like Link's super special move from Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

"No one's a bigger fan than me." Kayla said, and delivered the final blow. Gohma reared up, fell, and died. Kayla then raised the sword in triumpth,

"Victory!!" she shouted

"Um, Kayla?" said Jesse,

"I know you're proud of declaring your superior fangirl-ness, but how are you able to hold that thing up? I mean, isn't that sword well over ten times your height?" Kayla looked at the sword

"Oh, crap." she said, and then got crushed because the sword fell on her. Don't worry, it was by the flat part, so she didn't get killed. A Heart Container and a glowing blue portal appeared. Link picked up the Heart and lifted it up in the air, and a box appeared out of nowhere

"You found a Heart Piece!" chirped the text box,

"Now you can spread love to all! Yay! Love!"

"Yeah, love rules." said Kayla, magically recovering from her almost demise with the sword

Jesse braced himself for the worst.

“YAY! LOVE!” Kayla and the text box exclaimed together.

Jesse tried to keep himself from completely losing it….

“The sky is blue! The ground is rocky! EcoliAndDahChihuahua pwns! Windows 98 sucks! Meh brother Josh has a bowl cut that looks like Rock Lee's! My ears are pointy!” Kayla and the text box ranted in unison.

Jesse failed miserably at clinging to his sanity.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORES!!" with that, he propmtly went beserk, brutally murdering the text box, tossing everyone into the portal, and grabbing a multi-colored fairy that was wondering around for no reason and jumping into the portal himself, cackiling like a mad man all the way.
The heroes now found themselves outside of the Great Mustached Tree. Kayla was bored and went from hyper mode to sensible mode, Kon, Link, and Stalkid were amazed at what Kayla could do to Jesse, who was foaming at the mouth.

"Done well, you have. Have great courage, you do." said the GMT in Yoda-speak. Kayla turned to Jesse

"Hey Jesse, what's up?" Kayla said

"Why Mustache Tree talk like Yoda?" Jesse asked in very bad English.

"Always talked like this, I have." the Mustached Tree answered.

"This guy gives me the creeps," whispered Kayla to Jesse, "Lets set him on fire."

“How we burn Mustache Tree?” asked Jesse. Kayla rolled her eyes

“ Ever heard of Friction?” asked Kayla. Jesse shook his head. Kayla sighed

“ Friction is the heat you create when two objects rub together,” explained Kayla

“If you rub to two sticks together, one will eventually catch on fire.”

“ ALRIGHT!” said Jesse, pulling out two Deku Sticks.

After three looooooooooong hours, one of the sticks finally caught on fire. Jesse grinned evily as he started to walk towards the Great Deku Tree.

“Wrong, what is?” asked the Great Deku Tree. Jesse didn’t respond, he just smiled evil. He stopped in front of the Great Deku Tree and set him on fire.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURRRRRRRRRRRRNSSS.” screamed the Great Deku Tree. Jesse ran back to Kayla, who patted him on the head.

“ Good, Jesse.” said Kayla. The other three stared at Kayla and Jesse

"You just killed the Great Deku Tree!" said Kon, "He was supposed to die naturally, withering away in peace!"

"Fire's natural." commented Kayla, "'Sides, he was going to die anyways, I just decided to make it more interesting." Ignoring the others stares, Kayla calmly searched through the Great Mustached Tree's remains and found a shiny green stone
"Kokiri Emrald, yep." Kayla said to herself
"Okay, let's go." she told them

"Go where?" asked Kon. Kayla took out her laptop and danced around on the keyboard to find something. Finding what she was looking for, she turned to the group and did a perfect imitation of the Deku Tree in ye olde english
"'Well done, Link.... Thou hast verily demonstrated thy courage.... I knew that thou wouldst be able to carry out my wishes.... Now, I have yet more to tell ye, wouldst thou listen..?'"

"Yes." said Link. Kayla continued

"'Now...listen carefully.... A wicked man of the desert cast this cure upon me.... This evil man ceaslessly uses his vile, sorcerous powers in his search for the Sacred Realm that is connected to Hyrule.... For it is in that Sacred Realm that one will find the divine relic, the Triforce, which contains the essence of the gods....

"'Before life began, before spirits and life existed.... Three golden goddesses descended upon the chaos that was Hyrule.... Din, the goddess of power.... Naryu, the goddess of wisdom.... Farore, the goddess of courage.... Din.... With her strong flaming arms, she cultivated the land and created the red earth. Naryu.... Poured her wisdom onto the the earth and gave the spirit of law to the world. Farore.... With her rich soul, produced all life forms who would uphold the law. The three great goddesses, their labors completed, departed for the heavens. And golden sacred triangles remained at the point here the goddesses left the world. Since then, the sacred triangles have become the basis of our world's providence. And, the resting place of the triangles has become the Sacred Realm.

"'Thou must never allow the desert man in black armor to lay his hands on the Sacred Triforce.... Thou must never suffer that man, with his evil heart, to enter the Sacred Realm of legend.... That evil man who cast the death curse upon me and sapped my power.... Because of that curse, my end is on nigh.... Though your valiant efforts to break the curse were successful, I was doomed before you started.... Yes, I will pass away soon... but do not grieve for me.... I have been able to tell you of these important matters.... This is Hyrule's final hope....'" Kayla paused to see if they were stll paying attention. Jesse snapped out of his insane-ness and was sitting on the ground handing out tissues to Kon, Stalkid, and Link "'Link... Go now to Hyrule castle.... There, though will surely meet the Princess of Destiny.... Take this stone with you. The stone that man wanted so much that he cast the curse on me....'" she tossed the stone to Link, and a text box appeared

"You got the Kokiri Emerald! This stone is the Spiritual Stone of the Forest, now entrusted to you by the Great Mustached Tree." said the text box

"'The future depends upon thee, Link.... Thou art courageous.... Navi the fairy... help Link to carry out my will.... I entreat ye... Navi.... Good...bye...' and then he dies" Kayla finished, closing her laptop. By now, Kon and Jesse burst into tears.

"Wait a minute, where is Navi?" asked Link

"She commited suicide because she got depressed over not being paid attention to." said the multi-colored fairy that Jesse grabbed earlier. Link jumped 5 feet in the air at the sudden appearence of this fairy
"Who are you?!" he shouted, having the bejeebies scared out of him
"Ivan." said the fairy
"Where did you come from?"

"Ask my parents." Ivan answered
"Stop your dilly-dallying and come on already! We've wasted enough time already!" yelled Kayla. She flew towards the Sacred Meadow exit and found their favorite little munchkin.
"Hey Link!!" said the great and almighty Idiot of Kokiri
"I'm not Link..." said Kayla as the others snuck past Mido and left Kayla behind to deal with him. But Mido ignored this comment
"The Great Deku Tree... did he... die?" he asked
"Yes, and right now Link and the others are taking your rupees and burning down your house." Kayla said, knowing Mido couldn't respond to what she said,
"I love this."
"How could you do a thing like that?!" he asked/shouted
"Easy, I took a couple of sticks, gave them to an insane person, and watched him burn it down." Kayla said with a grin.
"It's all your fault!!" the idiot-who-is-stuck-to-the-game-text shouted, and stomped off to his house that was no more. Kayla laughed her head off and went to search for the others
After a few minutes of searching, she found them in what looked like a tavern. They were all sitting at a table in the far corner of the room drinking soda, and appeared to be drunk.

"An-an' ya know what I says ta him?" the drunken Link asked Jesse

"What'd ya say?" Jesse asked

"I says ta him, 'screw teh rules, I have money!" Link and Jesse both burst out in a fit of laughter

"Wow, and I thought I was bad..." Kayla said, she was about to knock them into their senses, when Kon jumped up on the table and started singing in a foreign language
"Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha " Kayla, immediately noticing it as one of her favorite songs, decided to stay
"Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Allo, salut, sint yel, un hydook,
she teraw, youbeera mah, primesh der, vericheera,
Allo, Allo, sint yel, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek
[Chorus]
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
Desoon, set spoon, cheseet, ah kum
Allo, youbeera mah, sint yel, vericheera
Allo, Allo, sint yarshio, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek
[Chorus]
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa iay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha
[Chorus]
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay
vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay." Kon then fell over, drunk. Kayla, seeing that the song was over, took out Stalkid's hammer and hit Jesse and Link on the head.

"Get up, ya lazy bums." when she saw that they were still konked out, she took a deep breath and yelled
“HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT! HEYLOOKLISTENWATCHOUT!” The Jesse and Link's eyes snapped open

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!! NAVI CAME BACK FROM TEH DEAD!!!!" they shouted in unison and clung to one another. Kayla, seeing this, snickered and said
"I didn't know you cared about each other so much." Link and Jesse looked at each other, and made a disgusted face
"You sicko!" shouted Jesse.

"Hey, at least I don't make Link a complete idiot who thinks the real enemy is Ganondorks horse, is afraid of cows, and has a Cuckoo sidekick who's name is Cheese." the fairy returned. Link made a blank face
"What?" the confused Hylain asked
"Where is Stalkid?" Kayla asked, changing the subject. The two shrugged their shoulders
"He's over there." said Ivan, pointing to a corner
"Why're you still here?" questioned Kayla
"I'm bored and Link needs a new fairy since you guys killed Navi." the multi-colored fairy answered casually. Kayla made an 'o' and then flew over to the corner that Ivan pointed out, and, sure enough, there was Stalkid sitting in the corner rocking back and forth
"Nai motto kaigai shouka Kon-san, nai motto !" Stalkid shouted. He then proceeded to steal a dwarf-like man's battle axe ("Oh my God! It's Dolza!" Kayla shouted gleefully), chop the tavern to bits (the people evacuated by then), steal a red book from a purple-haired girl who claims she is a prodigy ("It's Lute!!" Kayla shouted even more gleefully), and used the book/tome to burn down the tavern,
"Yakedo, maro fuzen izakaya, yakedo!!" the intoxicated Stalkid shouted as the building burned down. Kayla, Ivan, Jesse, Link, and Kon all stared at their friend's insanity.

After about half an hour, Kayla finally broke the silence as she saw Stalkid fall into a drunk stupor

"I just learned something." she said. The others all looked at her

"What?" they asked in unison.

"Stalkid talks in Japanese when he's drunk, Jesse and Link are drunk braggerts, and Kon is a foreign singer." she answered. With her inhuman strength ("Fairy strength" muttered Link), Kayla dragged Stalkid towards the forest exit. The others followed suit, because there was nothing else to do.

On the bridge, Saria was playing her ocarina. She saw Link and the others, and was about to start off her pre-set text, but Link just sped by her, stealing her ocarina as he did so. Saria cried, and the others laughed like mad people as they finally left the forest.
But, unbeknownst to them, someone was watching them... and it wasn't a stalker...

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Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:06 am
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you remind me so much of my friend joshlyn, she speaks japanese and that's how she writes. 9/10! :D

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Mon Jul 09, 2007 1:24 pm
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lol..you song in here? no wonder it was so long! 9/10....man you dedicated yourself to that...I have Chapter 7 almost ready on mine...I never really wrote anything on my vacation... :cry:


Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:49 pm
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Thank you everybody. Chapter 4 is still in the works, but I'll give you a little hint. Kayla doesn't like owls.

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Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:54 pm
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Youkou no Mugon wrote:
Thank you everybody. Chapter 4 is still in the works, but I'll give you a little hint. Kayla doesn't like owls.
Let me guess, the blaber-mouth owl?

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Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:08 pm
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ah yes. he, no wait. i don't want to ruin it for those who haven't played the game! :oops:

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Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:34 pm
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NEW CHAPPIE ALERT!!!

Ha! Thought my fic to be dead didn't cha?

______________________________________________________

Chapter Four

After the complete randomness that was Kokiri Forest, the group was finally starting their adventure in the Hyrule field as the sunshine hit them in the face

"AAAAHHH!!! Natural light! Get it off me, get it off me!" shouted Kayla, flailing her arms around and crashing into a nearby wall. The now sober Stalkid peeled her off the wall and Kayla was soon back on his hat, humming a song.

"Hey Kayla, what comes next?" Jesse asked. Kayla looked at him and smirked

"Interested now, are we?" she said

"Well duh, now I have to go along with this, whether I like it or not." he replied

"Go along with what?" asked Kon

"You guys," Kayla said quickly,

"He has to stick around with us now, right Jesse?"

"Yes, unfortunately." said Jesse.

After a minutes of walking, they found themselves facing the most horrible creature the world has ever seen.

"Hoo hoot! Link.... Look up here!" up on a tree branch, turning his head, was Kaepora Gaebora

"AAAAAHHHH!!!!! It's the stalker!!" shouted Kayla

"It appears that the time has finally come for you to start your adventure!" The owl continued

"Quick, kill it. Kill it!!" she told Jesse

"Why?" Link asked

"You will encounter many hardships ahead... That is your fate. Don't feel discouraged, even during the toughest times!" the owl droned on

"Hello, he's a STALKER. That owl will follow us around everywhere we go, every day, giving us lame advice like how to use a map or how to talk!"

"To talk to others, press the 'A' button." Kaepora said

"See? It must be killed!!"

"Nah." said Jesse. Kayla stared at him like he had two heads.

" 'Nah'? You mean you actually want a stalker?!" she half shouted

"No, it's just fun seeing you freak out." laughed Jesse. After explaining the pointless map controls, Kaepora Gaebora flew off. Kayla flew into Stalkid's hat and refused to come out, muttering about stalking owls.

As the walls of Hyrule Castle Town started to come into view, the sun started to set. Why? Because it wanted to, that's why! Ahem, anyways, it became night, so Link decided to set up camp

"Let's set up camp for the night," Link said. The others nodded, and Kayla said from under Stalkid's hat

"Make sure you're on the trail before you go to sleep."

"Whys that?" asked Kon

" 'Cause if you're not on the trail at night, the Stalchildren will get you." the fairy explained. Stalkid looked up at Kayla and asked

"Stalchildren?"

"Yea. They're these creepy skeleton things that pop outta the ground and attack you with their claws." Kayla said, coming out of his hat and demonstrating what she had described

"Hey, you're outta the hat and you're talking to us." Jesse pointed out

"And?"

"What happened to you not talking to us?" Kayla flushed in anger at this and went back into the hat without a word. Jesse laughed and said

"She does this a lot. She'll get mad about something random, and then refuse to talk to anyone. After a few minutes she starts talking again 'cause she forgot that she was mad."

"Really? What kind of things?" Stalkid asked

"Mostly things concerning her height." Jesse said,

"She's a shrimp. She's the same age as me, but she's only 4'11''." he laughed at this, not noticing the fairy sneaking up on him. He turned around just in time to get his head bashed in repeatedly with a large and heavy book. The others stared in awe and fear at the fairy that was doing the bashing

"Do-BASH-not-SLAM-call-WHACK-me-CRUNCH-short!!!!!" Kayla shouted in between beatings. Jesse was out cold and Link swore he saw blood leaking out of the comatose hero's head. Kayla, satisfied at the damage she inflicted, settled herself back on Stalkid's hat, who shook with fear at the fairy's strength

"Eh? What's the matter?" she asked Stalkid

"You are very frightening when you're angry." said Ivan

"Really?" said Kayla,

"Hmm, I guess I can be kinda scary when I want to..." Kayla shrugged and started singing a song that sounded like it was Japanese

"What song are you singing?" asked Kon. Kayla gave her a crazy look

"Sleep! The fairy commands it!" she shouted, scaring the bejeebies out of the others, who quickly did what she said, lest they be beaten to a bloody pulp like Jesse.


A few hours later, Link woke up, hearing a noise. He looked around. Jesse was still unconscious, and Stalkid and Kon were sleeping side-by side with Kayla sprawled out on Stalkid's hat. Link stood up, and reached for his sword, only to find it missing. He looked about frantically, and saw a dark figure slinking off with his sword. Link pulled out his slingshot, but he didn't have any Deku Seeds. So, thinking quickly, he grabbed Kayla and loaded her into the sling shot

"Meh, wha-?" mumbled the fairy, who noticed she wasn't on Stalkid's hat. She saw that Link was holding her and was about to ask why the fishcakes he woke her up, when he shot her out of the slingshot and towards the sword thief. Kayla crashed into the thief's head, and both were on the ground, the thief was unconscious and Kayla was shouting at Link in Japanese. Link ignored this and went to the thief, picking up his sword and taking a closer look at the person who tried to steal his sword. The thief was a girl with long brown-blond hair with pointy ears, wearing a blue tunic and leather boots. Link shook the girl to consciousness and said

"Who are you and why did you try to steal my sword?" before she could answer, Kayla noticed the girl

"Nani?! Shelby?" said Kayla. She went up to the girl and stared at her

"It is you, Shelby! Hoorays!!" the fairy started jumping up and down in a hyper rush

"Eh? Do I know you?" Shelby asked the fairy. Kayla smacked her head

"Yeah! I'm Kayla, you goofball!" Kayla said. Shelby looked at her in disbelief

"Really?"

"Yes, Link-stalker!"

" 'Link-stalker'?!" said Link, but he was ignored

"I'm not a Link-stalker! I just like following him around."

"That's stalking, Shelb." Shelby had a look of realization

"You are Kayla!"

"Duh!"

"WOULD YOU GUYS LISTEN TO ME!!!" shouted Link. Kayla and Shelby jumped

"Oh, uh. Hi Link." said Kayla

"Don't 'Hi Link' me. I wanna know who this is and how you know her, stupid fairy."

"This is Shelby, un. She is one of my best friends and she likes you, un." Kayla responded

"That still doesn't-- she likes me?"

"That's what I said, un. Right Shelby?"

"Yeppers! I'm a Link fangirl!" Shelby said happily, and hugged Link. Said Hylain shuddered, for the Spider-Scorion-thing called Gohma was also a fangirl. Kayla, after a moment, said.

"Hey, why haven't we been attacked by hordes of Stalchildren yet?" the fairy looked around and pointed towards the sky

"That's why! The sun's up!" Kayla then flew off in the direction of the camp, shouting for the other two to follow her. Link gave a heavy sigh, and followed the idiot fairy, Shelby hanging on his back like a monkey.


When Kayla, Link and Shelby made it back to the camp, Kayla noticed something

"Jesse's not here!" she exclaimed, and immediately started shouting his name over and over again, waking up Stalkid and Kon. Kon rubbed her eyes and said

"What're you yelling 'bout, Kayla?"

"Jesse's missing." she said almost worriedly

"Pinky?"

"Yes. I think he got attacked by Stalchildren." the fairy said omnimously. Ivan gave them all a half glazed stare and pointed over towards Hyrule Castle Town

"Look." he said in a bored monotone. The other's followed his gaze and saw a person walking towards them. On closer inspection, it was Jesse, who was eating ice cream. Kayla grabbed a very large book that appeared out of thin air and flew up to the pink clad hero, who saw the fairy and started panicking and running in circles. Kayla suddenly stopped in front of him and twisted her head so that it gave her a creepy look, and then gave a crazed grin

"Hello Jesse." she said. Jesse started cowering in fear

"Where were you?" she asked, sounding creepier and crazier with every word. Jesse flung up his arms and started running around in circles again, shouting at the top of his lungs

"IWASATTHEMARKETTHINGBECAUSEIWOKEUPANDIGOTHUNGRYANDBOREDSOIWENTTOTHEMARKETANDTHESETWOWEIRDGUYSSTOPPEDMEANDASKEDWHEREICAMEFROMANDISAIDTHATIDIDN'TKNOWANDTHATIWASHUNGRYANDBOREDSOTHEYTOOKMETOTHEICECREAMPARLORANDGAVEMESOMEICECREAMANDPLEASEDON'TKILLME!!!!!!!" Kayla gave a less insane smile and said

"I'm not going to kill you Jesse." she gave a pause and said in a sweet voice

"I'm just gonna beat you to an unrecognizable bloody pulp!" Jesse paled and started crying and then Kayla laughed,

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I wont do that. But how you reacted was funny." Jesse immediately stopped crying and shot Kayla a death glare

"I hate you, you know that?" he said

"Apple pie and pickles!" shouted Shelby randomly, still hanging on Link's back. Kayla turned to her friend

"Shelby!~" Kayla shouted

"Kayla!~" Shelby shouted. They both started running slowly towards eachother like in those cheesy romance movies... and both got clonked upside the head by Jesse, who tied them up and started dragging them towards the castle town

"C'mon, lets go." he said to the others. Link breathed a sigh of relief for being free of the monkey girl (Shelby). Kon and Stalkid and Ivan just thought it best to not ask questions and follow the other two

After all that time, they were finally at the castle. While Kon, Stalkid, and Link marvled at all the people, Jesse opened the nearest door and threw Shelby and Kayla into the building, muttering angrily about idiot girls. Link turned to Ivan and said

"So Ivan, what do we do now?" said fairy sat on Link's hat and said boredly

"If I remember correctly, we're supposed to talk to that redhead over there." he gestured to a child that was staring out into space by a fountain, whistling a song. Link walked over to her and said "Hi" the girl looked at him with a spacey gaze, and said

"Hey, your clothes! They're... different... You're not from around here, are you?" she stopped and gazed off again. Link was about to leave when she started talking again

"Ohh... you're a fairy boy from the forest! My name is Malon! My dad owns Lon Lon Ranch!" she claimed happily, before frowning

"Dad went to the castle to deliver some milk, and he hasn't come back...." she stopped talking and gazed off again, picking up on the song she was whistling. Link took it that she was done talking and went looking around.

Shelby and Kayla woke up, and they were rather upset at being hit by Jesse. However, they forgot this as they noticed that they were in the storage building that had all those pots in it. They proceeded to smash all the pots and thus gathered almost one hundred rupees each

"We're rich!" Kayla exclaimed, counting all of her shiny green rupees. She hugged one of the rupees and started giggling insanely. Shelby joined the insane giggling and soon they were both laughing like mad scientists. The guard that was in the storage building started backing away sssslllooowwlllyyy.

Back with our hero, Link was now growing bored. He had just got done talking with the juggling brothers and that confused him very much. He could have sworn the one in blue was hinting that he liked Link, which frightened him very much. Kon and Stalkid had just persuaded the owner of the local shop to give them weapons, so now Kon has a blade affixed to the end of her Deku Staff, and Stalkid has a small bow and arrows, which he was practicing with in one of the game places. Jesse was trying to catch the cuckoo that was running around town because it was starting to annoy him.

After a while, they all got bored. Well, not Shelby and Kayla, they were making plans for world domination, but we're ignoring them for now

"So..." said Link,

"What now? We've done everything I can think of, and I'm bored to death." the others agreed and Kon spoke up

"I think we should get Shelby and Kayla. I keep hearing maniacal laughter coming from where Pinky dumped them."

"Lightish red!" Jesse yelled.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go get them so we can move on." with that, Kon walked off, with Stalkid following her.


When Kon and Stalkid got to the building, Kon opened up the door and immediately was blasted by a weird green-colored ray. She swayed a bit and then stood still, her eyes became a very dull shade of blue. Stalkid saw this and said

"Kon?! Are you okay?!" Kon said nothing, she just stared off into the doorway.

"Foolish Stakid, she cannot hear you, for she is under our control." said a familiar voice. Two figures emerged from the building. One was holding a weird gun-like thing, and the other was holding a Nintendo 64 controller.


______________________________________________________

Cliffy!!!

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Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:35 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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Post 
NEW CHAPPIE ALERT!!!

Ha! Thought my fic to be dead didn't cha?

______________________________________________________

Quote:
Chapter Four

After the complete randomness that was Kokiri Forest, the group was finally starting their adventure in the Hyrule field as the sunshine hit them in the face

"AAAAHHH!!! Natural light! Get it off me, get it off me!" shouted Kayla, flailing her arms around and crashing into a nearby wall. The now sober Stalkid peeled her off the wall and Kayla was soon back on his hat, humming a song.

"Hey Kayla, what comes next?" Jesse asked. Kayla looked at him and smirked

"Interested now, are we?" she said

"Well duh, now I have to go along with this, whether I like it or not." he replied

"Go along with what?" asked Kon

"You guys," Kayla said quickly,

"He has to stick around with us now, right Jesse?"

"Yes, unfortunately." said Jesse.

After a minutes of walking, they found themselves facing the most horrible creature the world has ever seen.

"Hoo hoot! Link.... Look up here!" up on a tree branch, turning his head, was Kaepora Gaebora

"AAAAAHHHH!!!!! It's the stalker!!" shouted Kayla

"It appears that the time has finally come for you to start your adventure!" The owl continued

"Quick, kill it. Kill it!!" she told Jesse

"Why?" Link asked

"You will encounter many hardships ahead... That is your fate. Don't feel discouraged, even during the toughest times!" the owl droned on

"Hello, he's a STALKER. That owl will follow us around everywhere we go, every day, giving us lame advice like how to use a map or how to talk!"

"To talk to others, press the 'A' button." Kaepora said

"See? It must be killed!!"

"Nah." said Jesse. Kayla stared at him like he had two heads.

" 'Nah'? You mean you actually want a stalker?!" she half shouted

"No, it's just fun seeing you freak out." laughed Jesse. After explaining the pointless map controls, Kaepora Gaebora flew off. Kayla flew into Stalkid's hat and refused to come out, muttering about stalking owls.

As the walls of Hyrule Castle Town started to come into view, the sun started to set. Why? Because it wanted to, that's why! Ahem, anyways, it became night, so Link decided to set up camp

"Let's set up camp for the night," Link said. The others nodded, and Kayla said from under Stalkid's hat

"Make sure you're on the trail before you go to sleep."

"Whys that?" asked Kon

" 'Cause if you're not on the trail at night, the Stalchildren will get you." the fairy explained. Stalkid looked up at Kayla and asked

"Stalchildren?"

"Yea. They're these creepy skeleton things that pop outta the ground and attack you with their claws." Kayla said, coming out of his hat and demonstrating what she had described

"Hey, you're outta the hat and you're talking to us." Jesse pointed out

"And?"

"What happened to you not talking to us?" Kayla flushed in anger at this and went back into the hat without a word. Jesse laughed and said

"She does this a lot. She'll get mad about something random, and then refuse to talk to anyone. After a few minutes she starts talking again 'cause she forgot that she was mad."

"Really? What kind of things?" Stalkid asked

"Mostly things concerning her height." Jesse said,

"She's a shrimp. She's the same age as me, but she's only 4'11''." he laughed at this, not noticing the fairy sneaking up on him. He turned around just in time to get his head bashed in repeatedly with a large and heavy book. The others stared in awe and fear at the fairy that was doing the bashing

"Do-BASH-not-SLAM-call-WHACK-me-CRUNCH-short!!!!!" Kayla shouted in between beatings. Jesse was out cold and Link swore he saw blood leaking out of the comatose hero's head. Kayla, satisfied at the damage she inflicted, settled herself back on Stalkid's hat, who shook with fear at the fairy's strength

"Eh? What's the matter?" she asked Stalkid

"You are very frightening when you're angry." said Ivan

"Really?" said Kayla,

"Hmm, I guess I can be kinda scary when I want to..." Kayla shrugged and started singing a song that sounded like it was Japanese

"What song are you singing?" asked Kon. Kayla gave her a crazy look

"Sleep! The fairy commands it!" she shouted, scaring the bejeebies out of the others, who quickly did what she said, lest they be beaten to a bloody pulp like Jesse.


A few hours later, Link woke up, hearing a noise. He looked around. Jesse was still unconscious, and Stalkid and Kon were sleeping side-by side with Kayla sprawled out on Stalkid's hat. Link stood up, and reached for his sword, only to find it missing. He looked about frantically, and saw a dark figure slinking off with his sword. Link pulled out his slingshot, but he didn't have any Deku Seeds. So, thinking quickly, he grabbed Kayla and loaded her into the sling shot

"Meh, wha-?" mumbled the fairy, who noticed she wasn't on Stalkid's hat. She saw that Link was holding her and was about to ask why the fishcakes he woke her up, when he shot her out of the slingshot and towards the sword thief. Kayla crashed into the thief's head, and both were on the ground, the thief was unconscious and Kayla was shouting at Link in Japanese. Link ignored this and went to the thief, picking up his sword and taking a closer look at the person who tried to steal his sword. The thief was a girl with long brown-blond hair with pointy ears, wearing a blue tunic and leather boots. Link shook the girl to consciousness and said

"Who are you and why did you try to steal my sword?" before she could answer, Kayla noticed the girl

"Nani?! Shelby?" said Kayla. She went up to the girl and stared at her

"It is you, Shelby! Hoorays!!" the fairy started jumping up and down in a hyper rush

"Eh? Do I know you?" Shelby asked the fairy. Kayla smacked her head

"Yeah! I'm Kayla, you goofball!" Kayla said. Shelby looked at her in disbelief

"Really?"

"Yes, Link-stalker!"

" 'Link-stalker'?!" said Link, but he was ignored

"I'm not a Link-stalker! I just like following him around."

"That's stalking, Shelb." Shelby had a look of realization

"You are Kayla!"

"Duh!"

"WOULD YOU GUYS LISTEN TO ME!!!" shouted Link. Kayla and Shelby jumped

"Oh, uh. Hi Link." said Kayla

"Don't 'Hi Link' me. I wanna know who this is and how you know her, stupid fairy."

"This is Shelby, un. She is one of my best friends and she likes you, un." Kayla responded

"That still doesn't-- she likes me?"

"That's what I said, un. Right Shelby?"

"Yeppers! I'm a Link fangirl!" Shelby said happily, and hugged Link. Said Hylain shuddered, for the Spider-Scorion-thing called Gohma was also a fangirl. Kayla, after a moment, said.

"Hey, why haven't we been attacked by hordes of Stalchildren yet?" the fairy looked around and pointed towards the sky

"That's why! The sun's up!" Kayla then flew off in the direction of the camp, shouting for the other two to follow her. Link gave a heavy sigh, and followed the idiot fairy, Shelby hanging on his back like a monkey.


When Kayla, Link and Shelby made it back to the camp, Kayla noticed something

"Jesse's not here!" she exclaimed, and immediately started shouting his name over and over again, waking up Stalkid and Kon. Kon rubbed her eyes and said

"What're you yelling 'bout, Kayla?"

"Jesse's missing." she said almost worriedly

"Pinky?"

"Yes. I think he got attacked by Stalchildren." the fairy said omnimously. Ivan gave them all a half glazed stare and pointed over towards Hyrule Castle Town

"Look." he said in a bored monotone. The other's followed his gaze and saw a person walking towards them. On closer inspection, it was Jesse, who was eating ice cream. Kayla grabbed a very large book that appeared out of thin air and flew up to the pink clad hero, who saw the fairy and started panicking and running in circles. Kayla suddenly stopped in front of him and twisted her head so that it gave her a creepy look, and then gave a crazed grin

"Hello Jesse." she said. Jesse started cowering in fear

"Where were you?" she asked, sounding creepier and crazier with every word. Jesse flung up his arms and started running around in circles again, shouting at the top of his lungs

"IWASATTHEMARKETTHINGBECAUSEIWOKEUPANDIGOTHUNGRYANDBOREDSOIWALKEDAROUNDANDTHESETWOWEIRDGUYSSTOPPEDMEANDASKEDWHEREICAMEFROMANDISAIDTHATIDIDN'TKNOWANDTHATIWASHUNGRYANDBOREDSOTHEYTOOKMETOTHEICECREAMPARLORANDGAVEMESOMEICECREAMANDPLEASEDON'TKILLME!!!!!" Kayla gave a less insane smile and said

"I'm not going to kill you Jesse." she gave a pause and said in a sweet voice

"I'm just gonna beat you to an unrecognizable bloody pulp!" Jesse paled and started crying and then Kayla laughed,

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I wont do that. But how you reacted was funny." Jesse immediately stopped crying and shot Kayla a death glare

"I hate you, you know that?" he said

"Apple pie and pickles!" shouted Shelby randomly, still hanging on Link's back. Kayla turned to her friend

"Shelby!~" Kayla shouted

"Kayla!~" Shelby shouted. They both started running slowly towards eachother like in those cheesy romance movies... and both got clonked upside the head by Jesse, who tied them up and started dragging them towards the castle town

"C'mon, lets go." he said to the others. Link breathed a sigh of relief for being free of the monkey girl (Shelby). Kon and Stalkid and Ivan just thought it best to not ask questions and follow the other two

After all that time, they were finally at the castle. While Kon, Stalkid, and Link marvled at all the people, Jesse opened the nearest door and threw Shelby and Kayla into the building, muttering angrily about idiot girls. Link turned to Ivan and said

"So Ivan, what do we do now?" said fairy sat on Link's hat and said boredly

"If I remember correctly, we're supposed to talk to that redhead over there." he gestured to a child that was staring out into space by a fountain, whistling a song. Link walked over to her and said "Hi" the girl looked at him with a spacey gaze, and said

"Hey, your clothes! They're... different... You're not from around here, are you?" she stopped and gazed off again. Link was about to leave when she started talking again

"Ohh... you're a fairy boy from the forest! My name is Malon! My dad owns Lon Lon Ranch!" she claimed happily, before frowning

"Dad went to the castle to deliver some milk, and he hasn't come back...." she stopped talking and gazed off again, picking up on the song she was whistling. Link took it that she was done talking and went looking around.

Shelby and Kayla woke up, and they were rather upset at being hit by Jesse. However, they forgot this as they noticed that they were in the storage building that had all those pots in it. They proceeded to smash all the pots and thus gathered almost one hundred rupees each

"We're rich!" Kayla exclaimed, counting all of her shiny green rupees. She hugged one of the rupees and started giggling insanely. Shelby joined the insane giggling and soon they were both laughing like mad scientists. The guard that was in the storage building started backing away sssslllooowwlllyyy.

Back with our hero, Link was now growing bored. He had just got done talking with the juggling brothers and that confused him very much. He could have sworn the one in blue was hinting that he liked Link, which frightened him very much. Kon and Stalkid had just persuaded the owner of the local shop to give them weapons, so now Kon has a blade affixed to the end of her Deku Staff, and Stalkid has a small bow and arrows, which he was practicing with in one of the game places. Jesse was trying to catch the cuckoo that was running around town because it was starting to annoy him.

After a while, they all got bored. Well, not Shelby and Kayla, they were making plans for world domination, but we're ignoring them for now

"So..." said Link,

"What now? We've done everything I can think of, and I'm bored to death." the others agreed and Kon spoke up

"I think we should get Shelby and Kayla. I keep hearing maniacal laughter coming from where Pinky dumped them."

"Lightish red!" Jesse yelled.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go get them so we can move on." with that, Kon walked off, with Stalkid following her.


When Kon and Stalkid got to the building, Kon opened up the door and immediately was blasted by a weird green-colored ray. She swayed a bit and then stood still, her eyes became a very dull shade of blue. Stalkid saw this and said

"Kon?! Are you okay?!" Kon said nothing, she just stared off into the doorway.

"Foolish Stakid, she cannot hear you, for she is under our control." said a familiar voice. Two figures emerged from the building. One was holding a weird gun-like thing, and the other was holding a Nintendo 64 controller.


______________________________________________________

Cliffy!!!

_________________
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^^^spongedude made this. He is AWESOME!!


Last edited by Youkou no Mugon on Mon Dec 03, 2007 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:42 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
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Post 
How is that I did not notice that this story was updated? idk

But I know something, I just missed how hilarious, weird and insane this story is, I really laughed out loud here :lol:

Hurray for juicy cliffhangers! A gun-like thing and a Nintendo 64 controller WTF!?

Can´t wait for next chap!

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Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:54 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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Joined: Fri May 11, 2007 11:56 am
Posts: 737
Location: in the wonderful region of kanto
Post 
Yes!! Beware the randomness!!

I dunno how I got two posts of the chapter, though... weird....


Being at school didn't help things at all. I'm not in any of Jesse's classes and it sucks!! :evil:

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Mon Dec 03, 2007 12:50 pm
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