It is currently Thu Apr 25, 2024 8:11 am



Reply to topic  [ 63 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
 Pokemon NKA: Now Airing Episode 6, A Case of Bad Weather Pt2 
Author Message
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
NEW! Read the full story on the NKA Website

<center><img src=http://www.tinypic.com/50037s>

Jessica is a young trainer leaving from Pallet City on her pokemon journey, over fifty years after Ash left for his! Kanto has changed a lot since Ash's time, but pokemon trainers are still out to catch 'em all, and Jessica is no exception. But between a frightened charmander, the evil gang that calls its self Kid Rocket and a variety of other challenges, she's having a hard time gathering the badges she's going to need to enter the Indigo League.

I'm notoriously bad at finishing my long-term stories, but I thought I'd give this a shot anyways. It's set in a combination of the game and show universes, with a generous helping of my own ideas mixed in. Comments are appreciated, and if you're an official story rater please give me a rating on the rating board ;)


- - - - - - - - - - </center>

Episode 1: Bright Beginnings


You've probably heard this story before, a story about a determined kid who sets out to become the pokemon champion and greatest master of them all. I've certainly heard it often enough- after all, I was raised in the same city the legendary Ash Ketchum grew up in. Anyways, the story goes like this- a kid starts their journey, defeats the gymleaders through strength and determination, gains some friends along the way, and wins it all with their pokemon friends. No one ever frowns or gets hurt, except for the bad guys, and they always get defeated by the good guys in the end after a difficult battle. Well, I'm here to tell you that's not exactly how it goes, but every step of my journey so far has been worthwhile.

My name is Jessica, and I want to be the greatest master of them all.

It all started for me on my twelfth birthday, which happened to coincide with the day professor Gary Oak was giving out starting pokemon to potential trainers. Professor Oak's pretty cool, even if he is going a bit senile- he always talks about how he was Mr. Ketchum's arch rival, and how he beat him all the time in pokemon battles. Frankly, I'm starting to think the professor didn't even know Ash, even though his uncle was the one who gave Ash his famous Pikachu.

I think there used to be some problems with pokemon trainers getting in late, so a few years before I started my journey they switched the time new trainers were supposed to come to twelve noon sharp. I actually got there first of anyone, which was pretty shocking to the old professor since I'm usually late for everything, but this was something I couldn't miss.

"I'll choose, uh, Squirtle!" I said, examining the three pokeballs. "No, wait, maybe Bulbasaur would be better? No, I choose Charmander- I'm sure of it!"

"Excellent choice" said the professor hastily- there was a line forming behind me and the other potential trainers were starting to get annoyed. He handed me my new pokemon, along with a potion for emergencies and a brand-new pokedex. I grinned, stepping to the side to let the other kids through and thanking the prof profusely.

It took be a fair while to get out of the building, which was filling up with kids, proud parents, older relatives, little siblings and all manner of other onlookers. My own mom was just outside, waving at me from across the street.

"So, who'd you pick out?" she asked as I ran over to meet her. It's always been just me and Mom, but she's just about the coolest adult I've ever met so I don't really mind at all. She'd even brought my knapsack with her, which I'd managed to forget in my haste to get out the door and on the road.

"I got a Charmander" I replied, pulling out the pokeball and tapping the release switch. A bright red light flashed, and in an instant the fire lizard pokemon appeared. He seemed smaller than I'd expected, and a little less ferocious, but I was just thrilled to have a pokemon at all.

My mom bent down so she was almost at eye level with Charmander, and got a very serious look on her face. "Now I'm not altogether happy about letting my only daughter go out on a pokemon journey, so you'd better take good care of her and get her home safe. Understand?" She told the Pokemon. Charmander nodded, looking a little frightened.

With that, mom stood up and handed me my bag, and reminded me to brush my teeth and call her often on my cell-nav. We said our last farewells, and then I started down the road to the edge of Pallet City, ready for my adventure to begin at last.

http://tinypic.com/4vkzn7

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Last edited by Gryphflame on Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:10 pm, edited 15 times in total.



Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:06 pm
Profile
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am
Posts: 361
Location: flying with starfire
Post 
wow,pretty good,if ur gonna countinue that is,i hate stories that end in the middle :wink:

_________________
<center>Image</center><center>Image</center>
http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11
my forums

great avy by kryten!!


Sat Apr 23, 2005 11:24 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
((Don't worry- I plan to continue. My stories are usually short, but not /that/ short ;) I hope to go through her whole journey, but I don't know if I'll be able to stick with it for that long.))

I'd always sort of assumed that my first day as a pokemon trainer would be filled to the brim with action and excitement. Rare pokemon would be jumping at me from left and right as my powerful starter brought them down to low hitpoints in thrilling combat before I caught them with one dramatic throw of a pokeball. Instead, I soon found myself knee-deep in angry rattatas. My first battle was kind of interesting, though, if a bit disappointing.

It all started after I'd been walking for about half an hour, and was starting to get bored. I stopped for a bit, planning to rest for a few minutes and then maybe head off in a different direction, but when I tried to sit down a very angry pidgy flew straight at me.

"Charmander, go!" I cried, ducking the wild bird's attack. The pidgy landed, annoyed but wary of the fire pokemon. I grinned- this one was in the bag- until Charmander got a good look at his opponent and hid behind my leg.

The resulting "battle" was pretty pathetic, and involved the wild pidgy (who couldn't have been over level three) chasing my charmander in circles around me. The thrilling climax occurred when I stuck my leg out a little and tripped the bird, then coaxed my little lizard into scratching the near-fainted pidgy. He seemed quite proud of his "victory" after the fact, but I began to wonder whether I'd made the right choice of starters- I mean squirtles were pretty cute, and they were supposed to be brave.

The next few fights were pretty mundane- I didn't even have any pokeballs with me to try and catch new pokemon- and soon I found that the sun was getting low in the sky, and Charmander and I started looking for a place to sleep.

It wasn't very comfortable, but a small clearing in the grass sheltered by a tree provided enough space for me to lay out my sleeping bag and curl up- mom had even packed an extra little pillow for Charmander to use. The quiet sounds of the world around us drifted on the wind, and slowly I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of screaming. At first, I thought I'd had a nightmare or something, but then I heard another scream and sat up in my sleeping bag.

"Help!" said the voice, female from the sounds of it. I shook Charmander awake- the little pokemon sleeps like a log- and grabbed my bag, leaving my sleeping stuff behind as we took off after the voice.

We soon came upon a large tree, with about a dozen rattata gathered at the base. In its branches sat the screaming girl- she looked like she was about four years older than me. She didn't seem to notice me, so focused was she on the very angry pokemon below.

"Do you think you could use scratch to take them all out?" I asked Charmander. He shook his head, trying to hide behind me again. The girl screamed for help again, and I bit my lip, trying to think of what to do.

"We've got to try and help her" I said to Charmander, "maybe you can distract them for a little while I try and help her out of the tree?" Charmander nodded, looking a little reluctant, but willing to try. He crept as close as he could to the far side of the tree, while I hid in the bushes. Soon enough, I heard him yell out a challenge, drawing the attention of the rattata. "Come and face me!" he seemed to say, and the rat pokemon quickly rose to his challenge. Almost a dozen of the little purple terrors leapt forwards at once, and I really can't blame Charmander for starting to run.

I crept out from the bushes quietly, waving to get the attention of the trapped girl. "Quick" I whispered, "you can escape while Charmander keeps them occupied!"

"I can't" she said, looking down at me. "My Pichu's stuck up here, I can't get him out!"

I bit my lip again, trying to revise my plan. Charmander was leading the Rattata around the clearing that had developed beneath the large tree, but soon enough he'd run out of running space and have to lead them back to where I was standing.

"Can't he use flamethrower to drive them off?" asked the girl in the tree. I should my head, a little embarrassed to tell her that I'd only got him yesterday, and the only moves he knew were scratch and growl. The poor guy really didn't stand a chance alone against ten rattata.

When this sunk in, I clenched my fists, and started running towards the rattata hoard. "Where are you going?" asked the girl.

"To fight the Rattata!" I replied.

"Are you crazy?! You can't fight a pokemon battle!" she replied, but I barely heard her. I took my bag off as I went, and once I was in range I swung it at the Rattata. Something inside it crunched, and I really hoped I hadn't just broken my pokedex.

The rat pokemon was tossed aside a few feet, where he sat there blinking for a moment. Then, he yelled something in pokemon that sounded like "get her!", and whole hoard turned to me. "Gah!" I yelled, suddenly understanding exactly why Charmander had run from these things.

Now you might not think a few little rats would pose much of a threat, but trust me when I say those teeth HURT! I kept most of them at bay with my bag, and I think I even K.O.ed one or two, but I knew I couldn't keep it up for long.

"Charmander, help!" I called, whacking another rat with my bag. Charmander looked frightened, then suddenly his expression changed to one of sheer determination. "Chaar!" he cried, unleashing a stream of burning embers at the rattata hoard. A few of them fainted straight off, and the rest scattered quickly.

"Wow, Charmander, when did you learn that?" I asked. He shrugged, then started to growl. It took me a moment to figure out why, but then I turned around just in time to see one last rattata launching himself at me.

"Charmander, scratch attack!" I called. Charmander leapt at the little beast, scratching at him with his sharp little claws, but the rattata didn't faint.

"Use this!" called the girl in the tree, who'd been watching the whole time. She tossed me something red and white, and when I caught it I realized quickly what it was.

"Pokeball, go!" I said, throwing it at the near-fainted pokemon. It dissolved into red light, disappearing into the pokeball. The ball wiggled, and I bit my lip again, hoping it would stay closed. Then it paused, shuddering, and the red light in the middle went out.

"WOHOO, I caught him!" I said, jumping into the air in celebration. Charmander grinned too, picking up the pokeball and bringing it to me. I looked it over carefully, almost forgetting about the girl who'd given it to me.

"That's great you two, but could you maybe give me a hand with my Pichu?" asked the trapped girl. Charmander and I both grinned sheepishly, and ran over to help her.

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Sat Apr 23, 2005 2:22 pm
Profile
Gym Leader
Gym Leader
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:37 am
Posts: 602
Location: ...wuszat?
Post 
*holds up sign for appluase*... *applause* Excellent! I can't wait for more.


Sat Apr 23, 2005 3:45 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:20 pm
Posts: 590
Location: meh...xico
Post 
chapter one takes a

9/10

chapter 2 takes fully a

10/10

_________________
Image
Click me! Tall grass txtrpg!


Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:09 pm
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
((Thanks for the feedback, everyone :D I've already found about four typos and grammar errors, so if you spot any more please point 'em out.))

The girl's pichu had his head stuck between two large branches, but with two humans working together it was pretty easy to get him out. After the pichu and his human descended, I was surprised to find two other pokemon following them- a pikachu and a raichu. "Wow, you've got a raichu? You must be a strong trainer- why couldn't you fend off the rattata yourself?" I asked, admiring her pokemon.

"Oh, I'm not a trainer" she replied, grinning, "I'm their manager! My name's Vickie, and these guys are Sparky, Zaxz and Zorch" she indicated the pikachu, the raichu and the pichu respectively "and they're Kanto's first ever all pokemon rock band."

Charmander snickered at this idea, but I was curious. "A pokemon rock band? Where do you play?" I asked Vickie. She looked to the side, a bit embarrassed.

"We've never actually played for an audience before" she admitted. "But we're supposed to have our first tomorrow in Viridian. There's a big festival for the new trainers coming from Pallet, and the old trainers coming through to participate in the upcoming indigo challenge tournament. My dad's in charge of the entertainment for the festival, and he's going to let Watt's Up- that's the band's name- play for the opening ceremony! But if I run into any more rattata groups like that, I don't know if we'll even make it in time."

"Why don't you come with us?" I asked, "If there's a festival just for trainers, me and Charmander'd love to check it out! Plus there's a gym there, too, and I can't wait for my first badge!"

"That'd be awesome!" she said, and her three pokemon seemed to agree.

"Just let me go grab my sleeping stuff- I left it behind when I heard you screaming- and we can get going!" I replied, running off to pack up.

* * * *

I didn't know it then, but Vicky and I hadn't been alone when she told me about her pokemon bag. In fact, there had been a total of three other trainers listening in from the bushes.

"Did'ja hear that?" said the first "those pokemon are rock stars! If we steal one, we'll be famous!"

"Why settle for one, let's grab all three of 'em! We can make 'em sing on tour and make millions!" said the second.

"Plus her pichu is just soooo cute!" said the third, giggling cheerily. The other two glared at her, but said nothing.

"So, do we attack now?" asked the second, looking at the first.

"No, not yet- she's got that trainer guarding her, and with that charmander they outnumber our pokemon" said the first, "But I've got a plan…"

* * * *

"So, how did you become the manager of Watt's Up?" I asked Vickie as we walked. I'd packed up my sleeping stuff in a hurry, and we'd started off immediately when I finished, so we could get there in time.

"Well my dad gave them all to me to train, but none of them really liked to battle" she explained. Zaxz and Sparky were walking along beside her, while Zorch got to ride on Vicky's head. "Sparky really loved to sing, Zorch always had a great sense of rhythm, and when Zaxz got hold of my older brother's guitar and started to play, I knew what they were destined to do."

"That's pretty inspiring" I replied honestly, "I'm sure you guys will make it to the top!"

We talked for awhile about raising pokemon, and we were so busy with that neither of us noticed the three people trailing behind us.

We were making pretty good time, so after awhile we decided to stop for lunch. Mom had packed me sandwiches, and Vickie brought out some pokemon food for Charmander and her band of -chus. About halfway through the meal, I heard a noise from the bushes, and turned around to investigate.

"I think there's something in there" I said, getting to my feet to check it out, but just as I got up three objects zipped out of the bushes, heading straight for Vickie's pokemon! It took me a moment to realize they were metal claws, and by the time I thought to kick at one of them they'd already been zipped back into the bushes. Something yellow or orange had been stuck in each of them, but they'd moved so fast I hadn't been able to see.

Vicky's scream soon solved that mystery, though, and as soon as I realized the claws had snatched her three pokemon I heard laughter coming from the trees.

Three kids were standing in them, each one holding a retractable metal claw with a -chu in it. The tallest of them, the one who'd caught Zaxz, was a green-haired boy with a really evil smile who was wearing a ripped white t-shirt with a big red "R" painted onto it. The middle kid was a boy my age, with darker green hair and a similar t-shirt, but without the rips. The third kid was the only girl, and she had her bright yellow-blonde hair done up in pigtails that were probably supposed to look cute. Her t-shirt was the same as the others, but it looked way too big on her.

"What are you doing?!" I demanded, glaring at the kids.

"Stealing your little friend's pokemon, of course!" said the oldest. "I'm Clyde"

"I'm Calvin" piped in the second

"And I'm Clara" added the third cheerily.

"And we're Kid Rocket!" they all said together. The whole thing had obviously been carefully rehearsed.

I blinked, unimpressed. "Kid what?"

"Kid rocket!" said the leader indignantly. "We're the next generation of pokemon super villains, following in the footsteps of Ash's unsung archrivals." Again, I'm pretty sure he rehearsed his speech in front of a mirror several times.

"Didn't those guys, you know, loose repeatedly?" I asked, now just amused. These guys seemed to be all talk, and I didn't think it'd be hard to get the band of pokemon back. "If you follow in their footsteps, wouldn't that mean you'd loose a lot too?"

All three of them looked a bit puzzled for a moment, as if they'd never thought of that, then Clyde got angry again. "You'll pay for that little comment, no one insults our heroes and gets away with it!" he said, pulling something out of his pocket. "See how you like this!"

He threw something down at my feet, and it immediately exploded into a cloud of dark smoke. I spent the next several minutes coughing, but even above that noise I could hear the sounds of a struggle. "Gah, no, geetwayfromme"

"Raia, Raichuuu!"

"Aaah, it's biting my leg!"

"Pika pi!"

"Leave the big one, let get outta here!"

By the time the smoke cleared up, the three kids had left, but they'd left behind something orange and moving. I soon realized it was Zaxz, but he looked badly hurt.

Vicky was at his side in an instant, helping her Raichu to his feet. "Here, use my potion" I offered, removing the little flask of purple liquid from a pouch on my bag. "Don't worry, I'm sure we can get Sparky and Zorch back. You'd better go on ahead to Viridian so they don't start without you, though- this is going to be their big first concert!" I wasn't really quite as confident as I sounded, but poor Vicky looked close to tears.

"You really think you can get them back?" She asked.

"From those three losers? No problem!" I replied. "But first I'll need to find them- that's going to be the only hard part."

"Rai, raichu, rai raichu rai!" piped in Zaxz. Vicky listened carefully, and nodded.

"I think he saw where they were going, and he wants to go with you to help."

"We'll meet you in Viridian with Sparky and Zorch. Don't worry, with Zaxz and Charmander I'm sure we'll get them back!"

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:54 pm
Profile
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am
Posts: 361
Location: flying with starfire
Post 
wow,thats really good,i liked the part where she was punching the ratatta with her bag!!!haha


9.5/10

_________________
<center>Image</center><center>Image</center>
http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11
my forums

great avy by kryten!!


Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:37 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 7:10 pm
Posts: 740
Location: Houston, TX
Post 
I really like this one. Even though I'm not officially a rater, I have to give the story so far a ten. I have to.


Sat Apr 23, 2005 9:03 pm
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
((More great comments, I feel so loved :D But now you'll all have really high expectations for the rest of it- I sure hope I can keep this up!

By the way, the first two installments were part of the episode Bright Beginnings. This will be part two of the (probably) three part episode The Rocket Showstopper. I love making up cheesy eposide names ;) ))


I've seen Vicky in her element, managing and directing events for Watts Up, and I'd be the first to tell you she's great at what she does, but when it comes to tramping through the wilderness even she'll admit she can be a bit of a burden. While she took off towards Viridian, which was only another twenty minutes or so away, Zaxz and I headed into the deep forest to the west of the route between Pallet and Viridian, where Zaxz indicated Kid Rocket had ran.

They'd left quite a trail behind them, between the broken leaves and the singed areas where Sparky or Zorch had used electric attacks. Since we didn't see any electrocuted Kid Rocket members along the way, I guessed they'd managed to protect themselves from the attacks somehow- those kids were a little smarter than they looked.

"Raia raichu!" said Zaxz, and from the direction he was pointing it was easy to see what he meant. Up ahead was a tall cliff with a sheer face, and at the top was Kid Rocket and the two missing pokemon.

Unfortunately, they saw us at the same time we saw them. "It's that brat with the charmander!" said Calvin, the middle one.

"Not brat, /twerp/!" corrected Clyde, elbowing his younger brother (at least I assumed they were related- the three looked awfully similar.) "Get her, guys, and take back that stupid raichu!"

The raichu foot-shaped bruise on Clyde's face gave me a good idea as to why he was so upset, but I didn't have time to snicker much at that before all three of them drew pokeballs, each one releasing a different pokemon to the ground in front of me. Little Clara had an oddish with a bright pink bow around its leaves, Calvin had a zubat, which screeched loudly as it appeared, and Clyde had an angry looking cubone who didn't waist one instant before charging at Zaxz.

"Charmander, go!" I called immediately, releasing him from his pokeball and straight into Clara's oddish. Zaxz ducked Cubone's charge at the same time, and released a thunderbolt attack at Zubat. To my surprise, it switched directions in mid air, and struck Cubone instead! "It must be his special ability!" I remembered, "but Cubone's a ground-type, electric attacks won't hurt him!"

"That's right, twerp" said Clyde smugly. "Cubone, use Bone Club on that stupid raichu!"

"Yea, and Oddish, attack that charmander" piped in Clara.

"NO!" said both her brothers at once, but it was too late. Charmander needed no help in using his new ember attack, and the poor little plant-type fainted instantly, the smell of burnt plastic filling the air as one of the embers caught on his bow.

Meanwhile, Zaxz had his hands full with Clyde's cubone, who was swiping at the rock star pokemon with his club. Raichu tried to counter with tail whip and quick attack, but he seemed to be no match for the ground pokemon. Charmander ran to help, but Zubat was quick to intercept, sending out a supersonic wave at Charmander. My poor pokemon fell to the ground, holding his head with his paws.

"Oh no! Charmander, return!" I said, calling back my poor pokemon. But Zaxz couldn't beat Cubone and Zubat on his own- what could I do?

Then I realized- I had the rattata I'd caught earlier! He'd been in pretty bad shape, but I had a little bit of potion left, so maybe…

"Rattata, I choose you!" I said, releasing the little rat pokemon. I uncorked the potion bottle, sprinkling the last little bit onto him. "I know you're probably kinda mad at me for catching you, but I really need your help." I explained, "Those three trainers over there stole two pokemon from another trainer, and I really need to get them back."

The little rattata thought for a moment, then nodded. He turned to face Zubat, then dove at him with a ferocity I really hadn't expected from such a little guy. The bat never knew what hit him, my rattata seemed to be everywhere at once! Even Cubone stopped to watch in grim fascination as such a small pokemon drove his flying opponent to the ground.

"Zubat, return!" said Calvin at last, leaving only Cubone, Zaxz and my rattata on the field. The little purple rat growled, turning slowly towards the Cubone, and I swear Cubone just ran as fast as his little legs would carry him away from my purple rat.

"Grrr, Cubone, return!" called Clyde, "Clara, Calvin, get the hang gliders!"

/The what?!/ I thought to myself, but soon that disbelief was put to rest as all three of them jumped off the cliff, supported by Crobat-shaped hang gliders. /Where did those come from?/ I wondered, but I didn't really have time to think about it because I soon realized that Clara and Calvin were each carrying a member of Watts Up. "No way, you guys aren't getting away again!"

Zaxz seemed to agree with me, since he started charging up his electric power. When the three of them were directly overhead, he released a Thunder attack, shocking Kid Rocket and their hang gliders. Whatever electric protection they had wasn't enough to handle that sort of attack, and the three of them were thrown off their hang gliders, dropping the cages with Sparky and Zorch in them as they flew off into the distance.

"Looks like Kid Rocket's blasting off agaiiin" I muttered, giggling a little as I caught Sparky's cage. Zaxz caught Zorch, and between the two of us we freed the two no longer missing members of the band.

Before we headed off to Viridian, I had to take a moment to congratulate my Rattata. "That was amazing!" I said, "You were like a berserker out there!" He seemed to shrug a little, looking at the ground nervously. "Say, maybe that's a good name for you- Berserker, or Bea for short." He grinned a little rattata grin- Berserker it was.

"But now that that's settled, we'd better get going or we'll never make it to Viridian in time- we wouldn't want to miss your concert!"

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:03 am
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 7:10 pm
Posts: 740
Location: Houston, TX
Post 
I say a 9.6. Really great story, keep it up.


Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:23 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:12 am
Posts: 1738
Location: England, with the greasy fry ups.
Post 
Part 1: 8/10 nice beginning!
Part 2: 8.7/10 Genius pretty much.
Part 3: 8.6/10 Kid Rocket, good ideas all round.
Part 4: 8.7/10 One good match.

You are doing very well. I love it, i can't wait for more. all together...

34/40
Very good keep it up.

{staryu}{staryu}{staryu}{staryu} entertainment. (4 out of 5)

_________________
Coca Cola, 2 Litres a day, keep ma batteries onnnn.


Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:12 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
rubypoke wrote:
Part 1: 8/10 nice beginning!
Part 2: 8.7/10 Genius pretty much.
Part 3: 8.6/10 Kid Rocket, good ideas all round.
Part 4: 8.7/10 One good match.

You are doing very well. I love it, i can't wait for more. all together...

34/40
Very good keep it up.

{staryu}{staryu}{staryu}{staryu} entertainment. (4 out of 5)


Thanks for the thoughough review :D Any ideas on how I could improve?

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:16 am
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 7:10 pm
Posts: 740
Location: Houston, TX
Post 
You could introduce a new character. 4 and a half stars.


Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:17 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:12 am
Posts: 1738
Location: England, with the greasy fry ups.
Post 
Gryphflame wrote:
rubypoke wrote:
Part 1: 8/10 nice beginning!
Part 2: 8.7/10 Genius pretty much.
Part 3: 8.6/10 Kid Rocket, good ideas all round.
Part 4: 8.7/10 One good match.

You are doing very well. I love it, i can't wait for more. all together...

34/40
Very good keep it up.

{staryu}{staryu}{staryu}{staryu} entertainment. (4 out of 5)


Thanks for the thoughough review :D Any ideas on how I could improve?


As WPM said, new character? A long lost relative? Team Rocket v.s Kid rocket (yes team rocket would be 70+ years old)?
Try to make paragraphs bigger lol, reading lots of 2 lined paragraphs is weird lol. (Not saying you do that all the time you do that a bit. lol.)

I'll edit this post if I think of anything else.

_________________
Coca Cola, 2 Litres a day, keep ma batteries onnnn.


Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:21 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
There should be a whole lot of new characters coming up, at least one in the very next chapter, and one introduced near the end of episode 3 that should add a bit of intreague to Kid Rocket's motives ;) Episode 4 or so should mark the appearance of the next long-term human character, although you can expect Vicky to show up again sometimes in later episodes- I was always annoyed in the TV show when Ash kept saying he would meet the friend he met that episode again, but they never seemed to reappear. But I don't want to give too much away, so I should probably stop talking ;)

I try to keep my paragraphs pretty descriptive, but every time a new person talks I have to start a new paragraph, which is where most of those shorts ones come from- the members of Kid Rocket tend to talk over one another a lot :roll:

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:35 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:12 am
Posts: 1738
Location: England, with the greasy fry ups.
Post 
Gryphflame wrote:
but every time a new person talks I have to start a new paragraph

Well, you could just start a new line like I do in my stories:

Max: Heya wanna battle
Woman: Sure i'll win though
~Battle~
And so on.

But some people hate writing like that. They write like this.

'How many apples did beedrill eat?' Ash asked the woman.
'About 6...' The woman replied

Thats a good way to do it if you hate the way I do.
Anyway they are only suggestions. BTW: Can't wait for episode 5.

_________________
Coca Cola, 2 Litres a day, keep ma batteries onnnn.


Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:52 am
Profile
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am
Posts: 361
Location: flying with starfire
Post 
wow,really good writing,i loved kid rocket!!

9.8/10

_________________
<center>Image</center><center>Image</center>
http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11
my forums

great avy by kryten!!


Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:56 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
I thought about writing this up as a screenplay, Ruby, but I'm not particularly good at writing plays, so I decided to stick to story format. It's an English language rule that you need to start a new paragraph with every new speaker, so no matter the format there's really no way around that :P

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Last edited by Gryphflame on Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:03 pm
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:12 am
Posts: 1738
Location: England, with the greasy fry ups.
Post 
Gryphflame wrote:
It's an english language rule that you need to start a new paragraph with every new speaker, so no matter the format there's really no way around that :P

1. Im English
2. My Teacher told me it's a new line but anyways.

Thats fine keep up the good work anywyas.

_________________
Coca Cola, 2 Litres a day, keep ma batteries onnnn.


Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:18 pm
Profile
Ace Trainer
Ace Trainer

Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am
Posts: 361
Location: flying with starfire
Post 
yep,its a really great story!!

_________________
<center>Image</center><center>Image</center>
http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11
my forums

great avy by kryten!!


Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:22 pm
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
((Hmm, you might be right on that Ruby, I'd have to check, but my English teacher does complain that the stories I hand in are poorly formatted- she says they look like business letters. Maybe that's part of the problem ^.^; ))

The rest of the trip to Viridian was pretty uneventful. Zaxz walked along on his own, while I carried Sparky and Zorch. The three of them thanked me profusely, at least I think they did, and I really wished I could have understood their conversations on the way back. When we got closer to Viridian, Sparky started singing, and believe me when I say that pikachu's voice could put any jigglypuff to shame.

Vicky met us at the edge of Viridian with a big grin on her face, and she thanked me profusely too, this time in a language I could understand. "We'd better get these three to the pokemon center, and I'm sure your pokemon could use a rest too" she said. "My dad's going to meet us there, he was really worried about Sparky and Zorch too."

"I'm glad I got them back to you, then" I said, grinning too. "I couldn't have done it without Zaxz, though, or without the rattata you helped me catch."

"Still, you've helped us all so much. You should come to the concert! It's happening tomorrow morning, and I'm sure I could get you and your pokemon front row seats!"

"Really? That'd be awesome!" I replied. All three of the -chus seemed to agree.

When we got to the pokemon center, it was pretty easy to spot Vicky's dad in the crowd. He was a tall man with bright orange-red hair, and it was easy to see that everyone in the room knew who he was. He was surrounded by pikachus- at least six of them- and was talking to one of the nurses.

"Vicky, you're back!" he said, spotting us as soon as we entered the center. "Thank goodness you found your pokemon- they're our main attraction! And this must be the young trainer who helped you get them back- thank you so much for helping my daughter. I'm Philip Astley, the festival's organizer."

"I'm Jessica, and I'm just glad I could help" I replied.

"Vicky here told me that three children stole your pokemon, is that right?" asked nurse Joy, sounding very concerned. "If you'd like to give me a description of them, I'll ask officer Jenny to put out a police report looking for them- those kids need to be set straight so they don't go around stealing other trainers' pokemon."

I told the nurse about Kid Rocket, including the cages and gliders they'd tried to use to get away. Before she headed off to call officer Jenny, I asked her to take a look at my pokemon, and handed her the pokeballs with Charmander and Bea in them.

"Are all those pikachus yours?" I asked Mr. Astley, looking over the small hoard of electric pokemon around him.

"You bet they are!" he replied. "I'm an electric pokemon breeder in my spare time, when I'm not busy running festivals like this. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a jack of all trades." As he spoke, one of the pikachus grabbed his bag and ran off with it, giggling.

Vicky giggled too. "And a master of none" she added jokingly to her father's comments.

Mr. Astley took a few minutes to chase down his pikachu, and by the time he'd caught up with it the nurse had returned with Charmander and Bea, fully healed. "It's getting pretty late, dad, we'd better go finish setting up the stage" said Vicky. Her dad agreed, and the two said farewell to me and headed out.

- - - - - -

"How could this happen to us?" whined Clara, blowing her nose on a handkerchief. The three members of Kid Rocket had landed safely in the bushes just north of Viridian, and all three were furious.

"It was that stupid trainer and her pokemon" said Calvin, "grr, we've gotta get back at her somehow!"

"Don't worry" said Clyde, grinning evilly. "I've got a plan to get back at both of them."

- - - - - -

The night passed quickly, and I was glad for the bed that the pokemon center provided me with for the night. I woke up bright and early in the morning along with the other trainers staying at the center, and Vicky met me just outside with tickets for me and my pokemon.

"You've got to see the stage we've got set up" said Vicky, "It's really amazing. Say, if you've got some time now I could give you the backstage tour!" I had no other plans, and a backstage tour sounded pretty neat, so I was quick to accept the offer. The stage was every bit as neat as she said, too, and completed with the band's logo hung on top. The logo was a pokeball covered with a lightening bolt, with the words "Watts Up" written on top in electric looking writing.

There was a special entrance around the back for performers, and Vicky let me through there. Inside, I was surprised to find the six pikachus from the day before, all happily charging up a very large battery. "So that's how you power the lights for the stage!" I exclaimed, examining the wiring.

"That's right," said Vicky, "The Viridian trainer festival runs almost exclusively on poke-power! All the trainers with electric pokemon lend a hand, and dad has a big feast for all of the pokemon who helped donate power at the end of the festival."

She showed me the dressing rooms for the human performers, and all the props and costumes that were going to be used in the opening show. By the time we'd finished, the performers were starting to get ready for their first show. "You'd better hurry to get to your seats on time" said Vicky. I followed her advice, and had just enough time to get to my seat and let Charmander and Bea out of their pokeballs before the lights on the stage began to flash, and the curtains opened.

The first act was a big parade, with people dressed up as all sorts of pokemon dancing about the stage. They trailed off the edge of the stage after a few minutes, and Mr. Astley stepped out to make the welcoming address.

He tapped the microphone to make sure the sound was on, but only the first of two taps could be heard from the audience. A murmur swept through the crowd- was something wrong?

Just then, all the lights on stage went out. The stage was outside, and it was still mid afternoon, but it was clear something had gone wrong. That's when the creaking started, and moments later a huge mechanical beast blasted through the stage, barely missing Mr. Astley! It looked like a giant metal cubone, complete with a huge metal club that had fired the blast. A glass window at the cubone's eye level revealed who was behind it- Kid Rocket!

"Let's see how you like this, twerp!" said Clyde, speaking through a loudspeaker apparently installed in the robot. I had to wonder where they'd /found/ that thing, and how they'd kept it hidden until the attack. "There's no way you and your little rat can defeat us in this!"

"True," I replied calmly, "but you forgot one little thing."

"And what's that?" said Clyde mockingly.

"You just attacked a crowd full of pokemon trainers!" I replied. The three kids in their robot simultaneously realized their mistake as they looked over the crowd of very angry humans and their pokemon.

"Charizard, flamethrower!"

"Jolteon, thunder!"

"Nidoqueen, body slam!" Trainers from all over were calling out to their pokemon to attack. Kid Rocket really didn't stand a chance- for the second time since I'd met them, they were soon blasting off into the distance.

The audience cheered, but I could see Vicky peeking out from off stage, and I could tell she looked worried. While the audience watched the fallen robot, I climbed up on stage and ran over to see what was wrong.

"The power's out" she explained, "that giant robot destroyed all our batteries for the stage."

"And all the rest of our acts need microphones" added Mr. Astley, who'd walked backstage behind me. "It's going to take us at least half an hour to restore power, and by then half the crowd will probably be gone."

I bit my lip, thinking on the problem, then I caught sight of Sparky, Zaxz and Zorch behind Vicky. "Why doesn't Watts Up play?" I asked, suddenly inspired. "They're all electric pokemon- they can power their own instruments while they play!"

Both of the Astleys grinned, and Zaxz grabbed his guitar. The audience was looking at the stage again, so I snuck out the back exit to get back to my seat. By the time I could see the stage again, all three of the pokemon rock stars were playing and singing. The pokemon in the audience cheered, and even those of us who couldn't understand the lyrics enjoyed the tune.

I knew that after the concert I'd have to find out about challenging the gymleader, and I still had a long journey ahead of me, but for that half hour I just sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed the music.

((Edit: I'm also posting this story here on fanfiction.net, although I post smaller chunks here so it comes faster. I've got a few other stories under my ff.net username, so if you're a fan of Artemis Fowl, or a Harry Potter fan who doesn't mind really long waits, take a look and drop me a review ;) ))

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:40 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 7:10 pm
Posts: 740
Location: Houston, TX
Post 
I really like it, though perhaps Jessica should recieve a pikchu? And I like how you did all the pokemon attacking the metal cubone at once, very interesting.


Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:40 pm
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
I'm actually kinda planning to get her a pikachu before she leaves Viridian. It's a bit Sue-ish but she'll most likely end up with my favorite team, the one in my signature, as her team by the end of the story.

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:23 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:47 pm
Posts: 603
Location: Red Sands
Post 
IT's COOL!!!!!! If I were a rater it would be 9.999999/10. :wink:

I have but one question.

Is she ever going to get to a gym?

_________________
<center>
Image
Avatar by CHARZARDRAKE | Signature by Dragonite
DeviantART | Webcomic | Photobucket


Mon Apr 25, 2005 5:20 am
Profile WWW
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1793
Location: Lavender Town
Post 
Once the concert was over, I ran backstage again with my pokemon to find Vicky and her pokemon. "That was awesome you guys!" I said, and it really had been. They'd played for half an hour straight, and even when the power was returned the crowd had called them back for an encore.

"I'm glad we were such a hit" Vicky replied with a big grin. "A guy from Cerulean city already came by to talk to me- he wants to schedule a concert! I think Watts Up really has a chance to make it big!"

I was thrilled to hear that her dream was coming true, but that reminded me that I was on a journey of my own. "Do you know where I could find the Viridian gymleader?" I asked Vicky, "he must be busy with all the new trainers here for the festival, but I'm hoping I might be able to challenge him."

"Oh, sure, he's right over there" Vicky replied. To my surprise, she motioned to Mr. Astley.

"Wait," I asked, "your dad's the gymleader?"

"Didn't I mention that earlier? I thought I had" said Vicky, a little puzzled. "Hey, dad, could you spare a moment soon to run a gym battle with Jessica?"

Mr. Astley set down the wires he was fixing to walk over to us. "I don't think I can today, I need to fix all this wiring before the next big concert, but why don't you stop by the gym tomorrow at noon? We could even turn it into a little event- the first gym challenge by this year's batch of Pallet trainers!"

I was a little nervous about battling in front of a crowd, but I accepted the challenge anyways- it was as good a time as any to try and get my first badge. Vicky and her dad had to work on the wiring that Kid Rocket had destroyed, so I said farewell and went off to explore the festival. They had everything imaginable for sale in the stalls that lined the streets- pokedolls, kimonos, earrings, dumplings, fried rice, paper fans, used books, new bikes and more! I stopped at one of the food stalls to get lunch for the three of us- a bowl of rice and pork for me, and pokemon food for Charmander and Bea. I also stopped at a store that offered some great prices on potions and antidotes, and spent a fair bit of money stocking up for the journey ahead.

We stopped for awhile in the afternoon to watch a group of pokemon performers, with vulpix who could jump through hoops six feet off the ground, and humans doing Mr. Mime interpretations. I even found a little carnival area, where Bea tried his luck at a test your strength game for pokemon (it was divided by size and type, so the Machokes stepping up to try had a much harder time of it.) The man running the stand was amazed when my tiny little rattata made the bell go off, when the raticate in front of us couldn't even come close. I walked out with a shiny red ribbon for Bea, and a cute little Jigglypuff doll that he didn't seem to want.

We were having so much fun that we didn't even notice when the sun was setting, but soon the sky was dark and little electric-powered paper lanterns were lighting the street. "We'd better go find the pokemon center, guys, we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

I was woken up at dawn the next day by a very loud torchic staying in the room next to ours. From the loud thump of a pillow hitting feathers that followed his crowing, his trainer was about as happy as I was at being woken up so early. But on the bright side, it gave us plenty of time to prepare, and when noon rolled around we were geared up and ready to go.

When I finally found the gym, I was startled to see a crowd had formed around it. I had to push through the people to get to the door, where Mr. Astley greeted me and helped me inside. "You've got two pokemon, right Jessica?" he asked me. I nodded. "Excellent, then we can make this a two on two battle!"

He led me over to the battle arena, where there were raised platforms on either end for the two trainers. The challenger's end was closer to the door, so I stepped up there while he walked to the end of the room. When I looked around, I was shocked to see that the room was lined with bleachers, most of which were filled with festivalgoers who had come to watch the battle. I bit my lip- this was going to be a tough fight!

"Plusle, Minun, Go!" he called from the other end of the stadium. The two pokemon appeared side by side, looking identical except for their colour and markings. I knew Charmander and Bea would be in for a real challenge with those to- Plusle and Minun were just meant to battle together, and they strengthened each others' abilities because of that.

"Bea, tackle attack!" I called, "then Charmander, follow it up with ember!" My little berserker growled at the pair, then dove at them. To his surprise, they dodged straight out of the way, bounding off opposite sides of the stadium and then running back at lighting-fast speeds to attack Bea together. Charmander tried to ember them as they moved, but he missed them completely and almost hit Bea instead!

"You two, spread out so they can't attack together!" I said, realizing that the pair I was facing had trained to attack as a team. Unfortunately, they weren't willing to give up quite so easily. They turned away from Bea and ganged up on Charmander, who tried to fend them off with another ember attack. They were fast, though, and only a few embers made it to their target, whereas Charmander took the full force of their quick attacks.

/But that's kinda weird/ I thought, watching the pair as the zipped around for another attack. /Their stance is completely different than it was when they were fighting Bea. I wonder…/ "Bea, use your own quick attack on Plusle!" I called. Bea did so, charging at the red and yellow pokemon with blinding speed. Just as I'd thought, Plusle looked completely different guarding from Bea's physical attack than Minun looked trying to fend off Charmander's ember.

"Regroup over here guys" I called. Plusle and Minun took the opportunity to do the same thing at the opposite end of the stadium. "Rattata, I need you to charge at those two with a headbutt-okay?"

"Plusle, Minun, use quick attack on her rattata!" called Mr. Astley from the other side of the arena. His pair of pokemon took off at full speed, straight for my charging rattata.

I waited, watching their movement carefully. "Ember attack now, Charmander!" I called when I saw they couldn't turn back. Rattata was going slowly enough that he could veer out of the way of the attack, but Plusle and Minun couldn't stop- they ran right into the blast of fire and embers, and barely knew what hit them before they were thrown back onto the ground.

"Plusle, Minun, return." Said Mr. Astley, calling back his pokemon. To my surprise, the audience cheered- I'd really won! The gymleader hopped down from his stand, walking over to me. As he walked, he whistled to one of his pikachus, who ran up to me carrying two small boxes.

I opened the larger one first. "A pokeball?" I asked, taking it out and enlarging it.

"A pokemon." Corrected Mr. Astley. "That's one of my pikachus. He's a great pokemon, but he's been really bored powering lights for the festival. I think he wants to see the world, and I've been looking for just the right trainer to take him. Do you think you could take care of him for me?"

"I'll do my best, sir." I said, grinning. Then I picked up the other box, which contained the badge I'd earned. I smiled a little when I realized what it reminded me of- it was the same pokeball and lightning bolt that Vicky had used for the Watts Up logo.

"That's the Valence badge- you've earned it" said Mr. Astley. I grinned, and held it up for the crowd, who cheered again. I'd finally taken my first big step towards becoming a pokemon master.

"Are you sure you can't stay for the rest of the festival?" asked Vicky as I was leaving. I'd stayed one more night in Viridian, but Pewter City awaited beyond the viridian woods, and I knew I had to get going.

"I've got a bit of a head start on the other Pallet trainers, but I really want to earn my next badge, plus I promised your dad I'd take his pikachu to see the world. I bet I'll see you again soon, though, especially if your band is going on tour." I replied.

Vicky, Zaxz, Sparky, Zorch and I said our final farewells, and then I set off on the next part of my pokemon journey.

- - - - - -

Somewhere in a dark alley in Viridian, far from the laughter of the festival, three kids were huddled around a cellphone, cowering at the voice from the other end.

"You FOOLS!" boomed the voice, and if anyone else had been listening they certainly could have seen why the kids were scarred. "I left you to your own devices for one week, and come back to see your faces plastered all over the news!"

"We're really sorry sir, we were just trying to steal some new pokemon for you!" said Clyde.

"Yea, and they were really cute and famous" piped in Clara. "But this stupid trainer got in the way of our plans- she was really tough, and her rattata took out all three of our pokemon!"

"Then find her and eliminate her, you idiots!" hissed the voice, "and if her pokemon are that strong, bring them to me. If I see you three destroying our organization's secrecy one more time though, you will be 'left to your own devices' /permanently/!"

He hung up, and the three members of Kid Rocket sat down, sighing with relief.

"Grr, why do we even have to put up with that guy?!" said Clyde, trying to hide his fear with anger.

"It's not like we have a choice" said Calvin. "After all, he is our father…"

_________________
<center><img src="http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/2486/sidneyncassiusdollcroppedka4.png"><img src="images/trainercards/gryphflame.png">
http://www.bunnystick.com/ - Doll Base</center>


Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:45 am
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 63 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 37 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.