AND NOW FOR THE FINAL CHAPTER, THE ONE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR
seriously this took way too long to post everything with
DNA's Dolo Run of Pokémon Ruby!
Chapter 13: That Montage Took Forever
As you probably saw from the teaser, that montage did indeed take a very long time to finish - on the plus side, I'm now positively loaded because of it ($600K+). It's finally over now, thank goodness, due to the help of some
Rare Candies. And, at this point, due to Shroomish getting Spore at level 54, I think at this point I'm overqualified (everyone was pretty much ready to go - Footloose was the only other snag because of Recover, and even holding off on evolution, she got it at level 48). But alas, it was something I said I would do. Plus, if I check it off the bucket list, I never have to do it again, right? right?
<Haberdash> you would totally do it again for me, right?
<+DNA> not even in your dreams
So, as is custom, a short blurb about each team member, and their contribution to Team Dolo.
Ray is the one who started it all. I've known Ray for a very long time, even before the world of Ruby - I found a Torchic plush at a Regionals once in January of 2013, and bought him the instant I saw him. (It was the only one too, and people asked if they could buy it off me even!) Since then he has always been a real bro. He's always willing to take anyone on, even if he knows he's not the best match, because he does it for the team, and to protect those weaker than himself - which is most things, because Ray's power is the real deal. As that old show once told us, everyone loves Ray(mond), and that still holds true today.
Ray is lv. 56, holds the Lax Incense, and his moveset is Double Kick, Quick Attack, Bulk Up, and Blaze Kick.
Haberdash was the second in the lineup. Upon suggestion from GhostPony, he suggested Breloom, and I know Spore is balls-broken, so I decided to combine both of those goals at once. I said I didn't mind, since I am the kind of guy who will handicap myself in the early game to get a late payoff. As it turns out, Haberdash proved herself useful long before she ever got Spore - she could just sit there with Leech Seed and Stun Spore (when it hit - she had a habit of missing with this a LOT) and basically win. She has an inferiority complex, being the very last on the team to evolve and going a very long time between learning new moves anyway, though she did find a friend in first Crumpets and later Footloose. Unfortunately, after she found out that the montage was mostly for her benefit, she won't let go of me...
Haberdash is lv. 54, holds the Miracle Seed, and her moveset is Spore, Leech Seed, Sky Uppercut, and Giga Drain.
Crumpets, as some of you are aware, is an old favorite. Originally debuting in Dolo Pearl, he has once again returned to the world of Dolo through Ruby...and he is every bit as classy and impressive as ever. The only real difference is that he got Confuse Ray a bit later, though besides that, pretty much everything else is the same. ...Crobat is amazing; there's no other real way to say it. Very few things outspeed it, he's immune to Fake Out, and possesses phenomenal offensive (Wing Attack) and disruptive (Confuse Ray) power. It's a shame Black Sludge doesn't exist in Gen 3, but despite that, Crumpets can take blows phenomenally well, and he always does so with the pinnacle of class and finesse.
Crumpets is lv. 54, holds the King's Rock, and his moveset is Sludge Bomb, Confuse Ray, Astonish, and Wing Attack.
The name 'Dunce' is completely ironic. He is actually the smartest person on the entire team, as he proved when talking about shipping back in chapter 7 or so. He doesn't speak much, but when he does, he's a genius - even if his truth is annoying or unpleasant. Now, there are many Water/Ground types out there, but for those who do not get a Swampert for whatever reason, Whiscash is an acceptable alternative. Dunce gets along the most with Crumpets, as they have similar tastes, though he gets along with everyone to a reasonable degree, except for possibly Sacrama (who no one likes). Regardless, on the battlefield, he's extremely powerful and not to be taken lightly.
Dunce is lv. 54, holds the Quick Claw, and his moveset is Earthquake, Surf, Ice Beam, and Rest.
Everyone hates this guy. I think even Sacrama hates this guy. It's weird, because while he is very similar to Geist, he is not well-loved by any of the team. This could be because most of what he says are jabs at Haberdash (who he likes to annoy at every possible opportunity), but whatever the reason, Sacrama is probably the worst member of the team, in more ways than one. This is mostly a problem with Wobbuffet itself - in order to do anything he has to get hit, and against higher-level guys that's fine, but lower-level fights will seem like a total chore, especially since he doesn't have Leftovers (then again, Leftovers animation would probably prolong the fight). No one is exactly sure why he likes to be mean while poking fun at peeps, but whatever the reason, no one likes him because of it.
Sacrama is lv. 54, holds the Smoke Ball (yeah you heard me), and his moveset is Counter, Mirror Coat, Encore, and Destiny Bond.
Seriously, ANOTHER Fighting-type? That's what...3? As if your Psychic weakness wasn't bad enough. Fortunately, Psychic is not very big in this game (even Bippa and saferblad barely used Psychic moves), so we're fine. Footloose is the breakdancing Medicham who lives atop Mt Pyre, and she likes to cement her role as the token chick (when Haberdash isn't around). She gets a lot of flak from Sacrama too, but unlike the others she will have none of it. All around, she is very good, and when it comes to breakdancing, her skill is surpassed by only one person...
Footloose is lv. 54, holds the King's Rock, and her moveset is Hi Jump Kick, Calm Mind, Psychic, and Recover.
Team bios done! Now off I go.
The stooges in front of the path are satisfied now that I have all 8 badges, and step aside so that I may try science. The very first person I meet up with in the Dolo League is Kevin Garrett, who I remember being Flint from before. The order may have changed around a bit, but he's still top of the pops. He heard that I went on a training montage and as a result predicts that I'm ludicrously overleveled. I tell him, sadly, he's right.
Regardless, he is bound and determined to have fun with this match, as am I. Cue the RS Elite Four fight music, one of my favorite tracks in this game (in fact, I think it is THE favorite of mine). He leads with a lv. 46 Mightyena, which uses Intimidate on Footloose...which is 8 levels higher. But somehow, Footloose screws up and misses the first one. Not a big deal; she can use Recover. ...She has to use it twice, because the Mightyena used a Crunch to crit. The next HJK hits, though, so that's gone. 1 of 5.
He decides to skip straight to his lv. 49 Absol. Knowing of Pressure, I play it safe and switch to Ray, with his Double Kick having 30 PP. It works wonderfully, doing 140% damage in all. Kevin then moves on to lv. 48 Shiftry, and I know they tend to pack Fake Out, so I have Crumpets handle this one. He does, easily, putting Shiftry in the red with a single Wing Attack and not losing a turn. Kevin wastes 1 Full Restore on it, but it's not enough. In fact, Crumpets did so well I leave him in against the lv. 46 Cacturne. Wing Attack is an OHKO, but I completely forgot he has Sludge Bomb, not Poison Fang. That would have been a lot bigger. No matter.
The last one's a lv. 48 Sharpedo. Wary of Rough Skin (even though I know I shouldn't be), I drop Dunce against it. Its Surf does 30%, while Dunce's Earthquake does 90%. 1 Full Restore and a Surf or 2 later, it's gone.
<&Kevin_Garrett> I wasn't expecting Sharpedo to dent you as much as it did.
<&Kevin_Garrett> Still, I should have expected as much. I have to do what I can.
<+DNA> well, I'm going to have to burn a Hyper Potion for Dunce, for sure.
<+DNA> 'twas nice seeing you again, after all this time.
<&Kevin_Garrett> Same to you. Good luck.
<+DNA> You too.
All right, so that's 1 down; I'm not sure who's next. When I get into the next room, I'm actually a bit surprised. I'm not greeted by a human at all, but rather a Dusclops.
<+DNA> wait, a Dusclops? I'm fighting you?
<&Dusclops> well, us, technically. But yeah.
<&Dusclops> I'm surprised as you, honestly, but needs must.
<+DNA> Enlighten me
<&Dusclops> well, Jay was originally planned to be in this spot
<+DNA> scumbag jay, bailing at the last minute
<&Dusclops> so Pride had to look for replacements.
<&Dusclops> He thought about asking CH, but she wanted nothing else to do with this place
<&Dusclops> so after her role as Courtney, she just up and left. And I don't blame her.
<+DNA> Then what did you do?
<&Dusclops> well, we did have 1 other replacement in mind, but Pride and I decided that wouldn't work well
<&Dusclops> so we just decided I'd be taking over.
<+DNA> that makes sense.
<+DNA> Out of interest, who was the replacement you had in mind?
* DNA has flashback to Mira in Wayward Cave
<&Dusclops> aren't you glad it's not Jay or Teal you're fighting?
<&Dusclops> Now let's fight.
I forgot how hard "Phoebe" is. I have no moves super-effective against her, and I wasn't willing to teach Footloose Shadow Ball, because that works both ways. I have to deal with Pressure as well a lot, so I play it safe with Crumpets, and his Wing Attack having 35 PP. He does lead with Confuse Ray, as is custom, but it doesn't work for very long. Wing Attack's only doing 30% a pop, and it gets a chance to use a Confuse Ray of its own, which hurts Crumpets - as well as a Future Sight deployed earlier (which thankfully didn't do much). Thankfully, Crumpets also broke free of confusion quickly, and Wing Attack KO'd the opener (which was a lv. 48 Dusclops - sorry I forgot to mention).
Next is a lv. 50 Sableye, and I'm weird and switch to Dunce for this one. Surf does about 80% to its Shadow Ball at 20%. It is enough to force "Phoebe" to use a Full Restore, but a few more Surfs and it's down and out of the way. It's followed up by one of the lv. 49 Banette, and I decide to do something stupid and drop Sacrama. At that very instant, I remember Counter is Fighting-type (and therefore USELESS in this fight), so I IMMEDIATELY switch back to Dunce. The Surf and Shadow Ball back-and-forth continues, and while I could have him rest it off, Shadow Ball is doing too much for me to justify that. The next Banette comes up after that, and Dunce is tired so I let Haberdash handle it. Her first move is to plant a Leech Seed, then the next thing Banette does is use Skill Swap. That means it gains Effect Spore, while I gain...Insomnia. HA! Totally forgot about that, but that worked to my benefit.
Of course, all Habby can really do is Giga Drain after that, and she only gets 5 of those, so I tag to Dunce, who needs to actually recover some HP. Surf works very nicely. I repeat this cycle on the Dusclops at the end, to great effect (though not as great, as Dusclops has a low HP stat). Earthquake does 50%, it eats a Sitrus Berry, and Surf does about the same. That last mon is KO'd and it never woke up.
<&Dusclops> Spore OP pls nerf
<Haberdash> it was totally worth the wait.
<+DNA> I'd say s-get off
<&Dusclops> Maybe it should have been Teal fighting
<&Dusclops> if he knew the Breloom was going to jump-hug you, he would have been buttmad
<+DNA> silver lining
<+DNA> still I don't like dealing with him anyway so w/e
<+DNA> gonna go onward now.
The next challenger was probably even funnier than the last one.
<&Astra> Ah DNA, you're here.
<&Astra> I've been waiting for you.
<+DNA> wait what
<+DNA> you can't have 2 roles, bipps
<+DNA> that's cheating
<&Astra> TDL had 2 roles in dolo pearl; why can't I have 2 here?
<&Astra> besides, this is perfect
<+DNA> how is--wait, I see it.
<+DNA> So this is the true form of Aryan master race?
<&Astra> You catch on quick.
<+DNA> never mind all the Canada + ice jokes that spring from this
<&Astra> You catch on VERY quick.
<+DNA> welp let's fight
And of course the fight with Aryan Master Race Elite Four Member "Glacia" begins. It's always the blondes.
Ray gleefully agrees to take the lead; he wagers he can take them all down single-handedly. I leave him to it, and see if he can. The opener is a lv. 50 Glalie; Double Kick does about 110%, and at this point I'm skeptical, but not to worry, Ray tells me - he has Bulk Up. He decides to use it against the lv. 50 Sealeo right away, which was a strange idea because it just used Surf for about 60%. Still undaunted, Ray continues, and Double Kick here does 160%. This cycle continues, as his Double Kick continues to do 160% (lv. 52 Sealeo), 100% (lv. 53 Walrein), and 180% (lv. 52 Glalie). And...that's literally it. The fight's over.
<Ray> Told you Bulk Up was worth it.
<&Astra> Your Blaziken is quite manly.
* Ray flex
* Four_Arms flex
<+DNA> where'd you come from?
<@Four_Arms> I heard there was flexing involved
<Ray> Yeah, I bulked up and swept
<+DNA> ##FLEX: FOUR ARMS
* DNA flex
* Four_Arms flex
* Astra flex
* DNA flex
* Four_Arms flex
* Astra flex
* Ray flex
* Haberdash flex
* Footloose flex
* Sacrama flex
<Footloose> Shut up Sacrama; no one likes you
<Sacrama> <censored> you all
I'm enjoying myself so far, and I'm glad to see my opponents are too. This is good; that means the dolo run is shaping up to be fantastic. With Aryan Astra behind me, I'm curious as to who could be next. But then, at that very moment, I have a flashback to the very start of this dolo run...
<DNA> explanation time, chop chop
<@Pride> well, after Pearl went so well, I decided to test out another medium
<@Pride> I looked at Adv Gen, because that meta is clearly superior to all other metas
<DNA> I'd debate that DP pre-Plat is the best, but go on
<@Pride> And I got a lot of requests for Adv Gen, so I figured I might as well go for it
<DNA> lemme guess
<DNA> TDL wanted to test out his HP Flying Salamence
<DNA> and you know how much I like Hoenn so you roped me into this
<@Pride> that transparent, huh?
<DNA> like a book
<+DNA> you look really weird as a salty sailor
<&TDL> I have to play manly roles; you do know this
<+DNA> I am not surprised that you're Drake
<+DNA> what with you and your fascination with HP Flying Salamence
<&TDL> that transparent, huh?
<+DNA> like a book
<&TDL> It is true, I can hide it no longer.
<&TDL> now fight me DNA so I can test this team
<Dunce> I have Ice Beam.
<&TDL> ...OF course.
I wonder if this fight is going to be as one-sided as the Astra one. Let's find out!
As expected TDL opens with a lv. 52 Shelgon, while I open with Dunce. Dunce outspeeds and Ice Beam is a KO. The next one is a lv. 52 Altaria...
<+DNA> lol you use girlybird
<&TDL> shut up
<+DNA> and you clicked DRAGON DANCE?
<+DNA> sure it was
it died and Dunce just leveled to 55. Next the two lv. 53 Flygon.
<+DNA> you clicked SANDSTORM.
<+DNA> TDL are you drunk
<+DNA> you're drunk aren't you
Words were said but I can't repeat them because TDL is an angry drunk. When he finally gets to the Salamence, it uses Flamethrower of all things, and though it burns Dunce, it barely does a thing. That's down too. 'sides, I can heal it off with a Full Restore after the fight.
<Sacrama> the day of saltening is upon us
<&TDL> I HOPE THT BITCH DIES ? OF COANCER
<Sacrama> he mad
<Sacrama> he so very mad
<+DNA> I'll just...come back when you're sober
It would have probably been 5 times worse if any of my guys had Protect.
Oh, and Drunk Pride vs Drunk TDL is an actual thing; if you want to view it: http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/ou3057122
One left, and I wonder who it could be...
<+DNA> wait is this just because your avatar is a recolored Steven
<~CMP> That is the main reason
<~CMP> The original plan was for the champion to be Teapot but that would be too obvious
<~CMP> so a last-minute change was made because I am fabulous.
<+DNA> this makes so much sense
<+DNA> no wonder Teapot was so salty
<+DNA> he was going to be the champion but wasn't? ha wow
<~CMP> ...Come to think of it, you and I have never sparred, have we?
<~CMP> I've been waiting for this moment for a long time.
<~CMP> I owe a lot to you keeping Create-A-Card going for all those years.
<~CMP> You're a genius. Even now I can see it.
<~CMP> So let me see how you played this game. Bring it on!
Final boss time. It's not going to be easy, since he's got an army of Steel-types armed to the teeth, and then some. His opener is a lv. 57 Skarmory, tied with Ray (my opener). I don't want that thing moving, so Ray Blaze Kicks it into oblivion. Next is an Aggron, and I choose to have Footloose handle that, to be safe (even though Dunce would have been a better choice, come to think of it). HJK leaves the Aggron with what is essentially 1 HP, giving it a chance to Earthquake. CMP Full Restores his Aggron, while I have Footloose Recover. This time, the HJK is a clean KO. 2 down, 4 to go.
Next is a lv. 56 Armaldo, and I have no idea what to do, so I throw Habby at it. She starts with Spore, which is fantastic, and follows up with Leech Seed. Sky Uppercut takes off about 50% of Armaldo's HP, so 2 of those and it's done. Up comes the lv. 56 Cradily, and I know that's a job for Crumpets. Unfortunately, I forget Sludge Bomb is neutral
, which gives it the chance to use Ancientpower. Concerned, I tag to Sacrama. He Encore-locks it into Sludge Bomb, though due to Counter, it gives him a chance to use Full Restore, and with that, the Encore wears off. Cradily uses Ancientpower and I Counter it. I now have to guess if he's going to go for Giga Drain or something else. I guess it's not Giga Drain, so I have Sacrama prepare Counter. Wrong. I apply a Hyper Potion of my own to Sacrama so he can keep fighting. It goes back to Ancientpower again and I Counter it, and it's finally KO'd.
<+DNA> let's see, your last 2 are a Claydol and a Metagross.
<+DNA> did you pick those on purpose because you know I like them so much?
<~CMP> but of course
He goes for the lv. 55 Claydol first, and I send out Haberdash against it. I get the feeling this is a huge mistake. Claydol's faster than her, and it sets up Light Screen, while I Spore it. This makes a plan to use Dunce not very good, so I continue on this path, prepping Leech Seed. Wait, now what? I go and get Sacrama, hoping it'll help. Right after Sacrama settles in, Claydol wakes up. I had Sacrama prep Mirror Coat, but Claydol used Earthquake, so it whiffed. I have Sacrama switch to Counter to compensate, and sure enough, Sacrama barely holds on with 15/281 HP to Counter for a KO. But that leaves him in no shape to take on the last one, the lv. 58 Metagross.
<Ray> wait, let me try.
<+DNA> Ray you sure?
<+DNA> you're pretty hurt, and not even enough to trigger Blaze.
<+DNA> If you screw up, that's it for you.
<Ray> I at least have to try. Please.
<+DNA> All right, best of luck.
With great valor, Ray stands against CMP's last, the lv. 58 Metagross. He uses Blaze Kick...and misses. This lets Metagross use Psychic to knock him out. Annoyed, I have Habby take over, hoping she can do a bit better. Sadly, Metagross is faster than her, and Psychic OHKOs her from full. Okay, this isn't good. Fooltloose volunteers next with HJK, which only did about 25%. Metagross countered with Meteor Mash, which KOs her AND raises its own attack. Yeah, this is legitimately bad. I have Crumpets throw a Confuse Ray to bide for time. It works, and I use that time to use a Full Restore (not a Hyper Potion, I need all the HP) on Sacrama. With little else to do, Crumpets just keeps trying Astonish to get flinches in. He did, getting 1 extra turn, but then after, it used Meteor Mash AGAIN, raising its attack AGAIN. Even though the Metagross is at 40%, I'm terrified out of my wits at this point, so I send out Sacrama and order Counter - it's probably the only thing I can really do. It orders its +2 Meteor Mash, and hits. I watch as Sacrama's HP drops from 281. I hope he survives...and it stops at 23. This lets him use Counter for 258*2 = 516 damage. Not like it needed that much...but it's GONE.
<Sacrama> I FINALLY DID IT
<Sacrama> I DID SOMETHING USEFUL
<Sacrama> I SUCCEEDED WHERE EVERYONE ELSE FAILED
<Sacrama> DID YOU SEE ME GUYS
<Sacrama> I HELPED BEAT THE CHAMPION
<Sacrama> ... ...
<Sacrama> totally deserved that, didn't I
<Footloose> yeah. You did.
<Footloose> But good job man. I really mean it.
I thought that Wobbuffet would be deadweight
thank you ghostpony
<+DNA> that Metagross...
<+DNA> always nothing but trouble...
<+DNA> Even now I can't believe it. It was at full power and somehow I pulled it off.
<~CMP> Well, you had the help of all your friends.
<@Pride> Congratulations DNA
<+DNA> Pride! you're not drunk off your ass anymore!
<+DNA> wait where's Lenny
<@Pride> I sent him home
<+DNA> who was the designated driver
<+DNA> you forgot?
<@Pride> anyway, looks like you did an awesome job as usual. Thanks for playing along with my game.
<+DNA> you're welcome, but...please no more.
<@Pride> Heh, I've already subjected you to enough torture
<@Pride> You want to play again? You do so on your own terms
<@Pride> I've had my fun
<@Pride> but you enjoyed it, right? Everyone wins.
<+DNA> Except Teapot
<@Pride> Except Teapot, yes
<~CMP> Well, shall we save this feat for all of eternity?
<+DNA> Let it be known that I, DNA, triumphed over Ruby Version, for the first time in my life!
<~CMP> Wait, the first time?
<+DNA> I'd played through Sapphire and Emerald before, but this is the first time I've beaten Ruby
<+DNA> TAKE THAT UNIVERSE!!! YES!!
But wait, there's more!
<+Ray> wait, more?
<+Ray> are you kidding me right now
<%DNA> it's short, I swear.
<%DNA> So short, we can stuff it into this one part!
<+Ray> all right, what are we doing?
<%DNA> jacking Blah's ship and meeting all of our various fans
<%DNA> What do you guys want to do first?
<+Dunce> Let's jack the ship first. We should end this playthrough on a high note, and what better way to do that by meeting all our fans?
<+Sacrama> I was thinking to jack the ship last, for the exact same reason
<+Crumpets> How about we ask the audience?
<%DNA> Good idea, I'll put the call out.
<%DNA> While we wait, though...
<@PMJ> ready to jack Blah's ship?
<%DNA> you know it
* PMJ gives S.S. Ticket
<%DNA> aww yeee
<%DNA> wait there's the matter of the final Trick House too
<%DNA> SO MANY DECISIONS
<%DNA> k let's think
<%DNA> by the way where the hell is Habby
<+Ray> Sleeping in your bed upstairs.
<%DNA> let's just go while she doesn't notice
<+Sacrama> I agree to this plan
<+Footloose> You would.
<%DNA> Hey guys, thanks for your votes.
<%DNA> There were a lot of ties and stuff, but all in all, from my various friends (not just on Psypoke, I asked around), I got 11 votes in all!
<%DNA> You guys rock, and I am grateful for you all.
<%DNA> While I was waiting for all the votes, I was playing Golden Sun: The Lost Age. I was near the end (I still am), but I've made a lot of progress! Only things I have left to do are fight Sentinel, get the last Jupiter Djinni, fight Dullahan, and fight the final boss.
<%DNA> I might as well make good use of my time, right? Plus, it's fun, and I haven't played it in a long while, in my rush to finish Ruby.
<+Ray> You know we're still in Oldale Town right?
<+Ray> And you've been playing TLA this ENTIRE time?
<%DNA> Oh I know
<%DNA> and I made phenomenal progress!
<%DNA> But at least Habby will be able to reach us once she figures it out
<%DNA> don't want her drowning herself, after all
<+Ray> This is true.
<%DNA> While we're waiting to show up, here are the votes for those curious:
If the tasks are marked as such:
1 - Visit the Fan club
2 - 8th trick house
3 - SS Tidal/Battle Tower
Here's what we got:
(2-3-1): 5 votes
(2-1-3): 2 votes (1 of them specifically requested hula hooping in between tasks)
(3-1-2): 2 votes
(1-2-3): 2 votes
<%DNA> Looks like the votes have it! Trick House, then Battle Tower, then Fan Club.
<%DNA> Fortunately, the pathway between all 3 is quite direct - from Oldale I can surf to the Trick House, head south to Slateport, take the ship to the Battle Tower, then take it again to Lilycove.
<%DNA> Whaddya know, it's the most convenient too. Thanks guys!
*** Haberdash has joined #oldaletown
<+Haberdash> THERE YOU ARE ;-;
<+Haberdash> Don't leave me alone like that again!
<+Haberdash> Didn't you notice you left me behind?
<+Haberdash> SHUT UP ;-;
<%DNA> Well, at least we didn't go too far.
<+Dunce> Yeah, he could have gone a lot further, but he decided to stay here and play Golden Sun for a while.
<+Haberdash> I can't decide whether to be touched or annoyed
<%DNA> it doesn't matter; we're heading out now. TRICK HOUSE AWAY
And so this playthrough is soon to come to an end. The Trick House is not very far away from Oldale Town, especially by way of Route 103, so it doesn't take very long at all to get there. I get to kick EP's ass one last time and send him home to DatAssBot.
<%DNA> get out from under that cushion
<EvilPenguin> no ;-;
<%DNA> that was probably the lamest hiding place yet, man.
<%DNA> the collision data is a dead giveaway.
<EvilPenguin> so's your face
<%DNA> just shut up and let me attempt your stupid puzzle
The only item in here is a Bead Mail, for those curious, and the cooltrainers are all in the first half of the puzzle, so this should not prove too difficult, honestly. The slippery floors themselves are what are difficult.
<%DNA> The secret password is "EvilPenguin I love"?
<%DNA> hell, he could have just added "EvilPenguin is life" to it while he was at it
<EvilPenguin> just take this tent and go away
<EvilPenguin> I hate this game and want to go home
<%DNA> that's cool by me
<%DNA> just do that explosion thing where you disappear into the sky
<%DNA> and tinkle in the distance
After EP detonates and gives me the Red Tent (though not in that order), I go south to Slateport, say hi to The-Kaiser, and hop aboard the new ship S.S. Tidal. Blah is captaining it, not surprisingly, and he thinks he's playing Wind Waker HD. I tell him this is GBA so it couldn't be the HD version. He tells me to shut up.
Fun fact: I forgot if you sail directly to the Battle Tower, you just go straight there. It's only when you go between Slateport and Lilycove that you fight all the peeps. There was absolutely nothing of note at the Battle Tower, so I go redo the ship. But before we did...
<+Ray> hey guys
<+Ray> you know that dex entry that says Blaziken can leap over skyscrapers?
<%DNA> you're not seriously going to...
<+Ray> Sacrama! Crumpets!
<+Ray> Be ready to catch me if I fall. Crumpets, you wait in the air; Sacrama, you be the safety mattress.
<+Sacrama> Are you calling me fat?
<+Ray> Now stand back as I get a running start...
And I saw Ray take off into the sky. He got quite a hell of a jump, because he got quite a hell of a running start. It was only about 15 seconds later that I heard a scream and the sound of something falling.
<+Sacrama> FREAKING OW THAT HURT
<+Sacrama> GET OFFA ME
<%DNA> I'm going to guess it didn't work as expected
<+Ray> no, I made the jump
<+Ray> that was easy
<+Ray> but I totally forgot about how to make a safe landing
<+Ray> let's just go
Thankfully there are no injury rules for stuff like that in this universe, so after a good breather and a rest, we're off again, this time to sail on the boat. I remember to pick up the Lefties for Sacrama too!
<%DNA> Wind Waker sux
<Blah> no u
Before long I have cleared out the ship of trainers and I'm now in Lilycove City - the last stop on my run of Dolo Ruby. The fan club is only one door down from the Pokemon Center, and it has a sign out front too, so it's easy to see. All that awaits is to open the door and meet my adoring public...
<torchie13125> Oh, wow! It's DNA!
<%DNA> who are you
<+Sacrama> STRANGER DANGER
<ChillBill> We heard the news. Grats for beating CMP.
<ChillBill> The other fans here argue about who the strongest trainer is.
<ChillBill> But it's obviously you, the protag.
<HauntedWater> I hope you continue to battle other trainers.
<HauntedWater> That way we can see more of your hawt, hawt battles.
<%DNA> ...how are you here
<%DNA> WHY are you here
<HauntedWater> so you can notice me, senpai
<+Sacrama> damn, beat me to it
* CuteKirlia hides behind torchie
<CuteKirlia> Oh, wowee! It's DNA! For real, too!
<CuteKirlia> Please, shake my hand, shake my hand!
<+Sacrama> NO DON'T IT'S A TRICK
<+Sacrama> it is an urban legend that all shippers have HIV
<%DNA> I'm pretty sure HIV doesn't spread through handshakes
<+Sacrama> who's the doctor here
<%DNA> none of us, you idiot
<+Sacrama> yeah, so how would you know?
<%DNA> that is stupid on so many levels I'm not even going to count
<%DNA> wait, if you're all here, where's GhostPony?
<ChillBill> he's dead
<%DNA> oh. right.
* DNA snaps fingers
<GhostPony750> hey this isn't the bike shop
<%DNA> welcome back to doloruby
<%DNA> we've been expecting you
A lot of that is based on actual in-game dialogue. ChillBill's lines were paraphrased; the others were not.
<torchie13125> so, what's next for the great and awesome DNA?
<%DNA> Well, truth be told, at this point I am a massive hypocrite.
<HauntedWater> join the club
<%DNA> if it means drinking your salty tears, I'm in
<%DNA> I technically quit Pokemon, as a few of you know
<torchie13125> you did? wait, really?
<%DNA> you HAVE been gone a while.
<%DNA> but yeah. The last thing I did before I officially quit was write up Dolo Pearl.
<%DNA> That was a HUGE hit, and because of that, I got requests to write several more.
<%DNA> There was Y, which was a catastrophe for me but hilarious for everyone else
<HauntedWater> I wouldn't call a hentai hilarious
<%DNA> it's not a hentai, you spectacular tool
<%DNA> And then I did Ruby on my own, just so I could say I did - plus, Gen 3 is awesome.
<CuteKirlia> Did you get any other requests, DNA?
<+Haberdash> BACK OFF HE'S MINE
<+Ray> ladies please you're both beautiful
<CuteKirlia> you really think so?
<+Ray> I wasn't talking to you
* DNA drinks salty tears
<+Sacrama> the day of saltening is continually upon us
<%DNA> Well, I got requests for 2 games after this: SoulSilver and Explorers of Sky.
<ChillBill> As in Mystery Dungeon? Interesting.
<%DNA> Yeah. I've considered dropping the soulsilver run, because that'll just follow along like Y, which is a real disaster.
<%DNA> plus, there's always the painful matter of pre-E4 grinding, which is very hellish in HGSS.
<%DNA> So I decided, for a change of pace, I'm going to do an EOS run instead.
<%DNA> and, as HW already knows, I plan to call it "DNA Gets High as he Explores the Sky"
<HauntedWater> Stoners Only Live Once
<%DNA> It's technically not solo if I get to pick my partner, but eh, whatever floats your boat
<GhostPony750> Keeping with the dolo naming theme, huh?
<%DNA> I'll put it this way
<%DNA> The game starts with you talking to a multi-colored aurora that gives you a personality test
<%DNA> If that isn't some psychedelic dream sequence brought on by drug use, I have no idea what it is
<CuteKirlia> Are you going to show us? Pretty please?
<%DNA> On the condition that shipping is forbidden.
<CuteKirlia> ...you are no fun.
<%DNA> I know.
<%DNA> But I don't need a repeat of Dunce ranting about it.
<ChillBill> So, before you close off this Dolo Ruby run for good, is there anything you want to do?
<%DNA> well, I did get a special request when finishing this off, and based on what it was, I might as well
<+Footloose> What's up?
<%DNA> You went and got those things from the mart, right?
<+Footloose> Yes I did
<%DNA> IT'S TIME.
<+Footloose> As you wish.
* Footloose tosses a bunch of hula hoops into the air
<%DNA> HULA HOOPS FOR EVERYONE
I'd put a hula hoop gif in here, but all the gifs I found outright sucked or involved women at the beach in bikinis. Thus, I decided against it. Suffice it to say we had a hula party.
I didn't do so well and neither did HW or Crumpets (Crumpets, though, actually has an excuse), Habby tried but it kept catching on her tail, Dunce did surprisingly well for someone without a waist, Ray and Footloose were totally OP at it (I'm pretty sure they were hula-hooping upside down), and everyone else was decent.
And with that, Dolo Ruby comes to a close! I'll post a link to the eventual EOS run whenever I get it started; it will most likely be off-site but I might drop a link here too and update them at the same time. Hope you guys enjoyed my madness! See you again soon.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go finish my Golden Sun: The Lost Age playthrough, that I've been working on this entire time. That final Jupiter Djinni will not evade me.
...oh, right, it's the one in Apojii Islands. I totally forgot I had to go back there. I feel so stupid.End of Chapter 13!
DNA's Team So Far:
Ray lv. 58
Dunce lv. 56
Haberdash lv. 55
Crumpets lv. 55
Sacrama lv. 55
Footloose lv. 55