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 Frost's Unova Rankings (100-91): Walk Like a Unovan 

Which top 100 is superior?
IGN's because Frost's is too gay 20%  20%  [ 8 ]
Frost's because IGN's is too predictable 80%  80%  [ 32 ]
Total votes : 40

 Frost's Unova Rankings (100-91): Walk Like a Unovan 
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This next batch isn't very exciting but whatever. Also we've reached the 7/10 range of my rankings, which means I like these Pokemon.

Update Title: "Spinda Huffs Smoke," referring to a story told in #343's write-up.

350. Grovyle Image
(National Dex: 253; Generation: III)
When my Treecko evolved for the first time (an event that did not happen, as explained previously), I was certain that it was Grass/Flying-type. I mean, Amphy and TK told me that Combusken and Marshtomp were dual-types, and Grovyle looks very aerodynamic in its Ruby/Sapphire sprite. Then I looked at its status page and... WHAT? This sleek Grass thing with leaves that could double as wings can't fly? It was a pretty disappointing moment. However, despite being a middle evolution, Grovyle is actually cooler than the creepy Treecko, as it looks vaguely ninja-like, a design aspect that unfortunately doesn't carry into Sceptile. I do recall Ash's Treecko evolving in the middle of the Hoenn saga, but its dub voice was really bad, plus it retained Treecko's wannabe badass personality, and I was losing interest in the RS anime by that point anyway. Overall, Grovyle is a pretty solid middle evolution, and worlds better than Combusken.

349. Poliwrath Image
(National Dex: 62; Generation: I)
Poliwrath is an example of a Pokemon that makes me scratch my head and wonder why the designers didn't go further with the idea. Don't get me wrong, Poliwrath as it stands now is perfectly serviceable, but it's only a bigger and meaner-looking Poliwhirl, all while being a third stage "tadpole Pokemon." How many 4'3", 110-pound tadpoles have you seen lately? Poliwrath really should have been made into a fullblown frog, since that would simultaneously distinguish Poliwrath from Poliwhirl more and support its Water/Fighting-type a bit better. Instead, Politoed had to be created in Generation II to address the mystery of why Poliwag never actually grows into a frog. While Poliwrath was pretty bad in RBY due to the dominance of Psychic Pokemon (although it did get Amnesia as a tradeback move), Poliwrath has improved with each Generation and is leaps and bounds ahead of Politoed. Despite this, I can't say I prefer its angry, mouthless and unrealized design over its counterpart's. Also, as an aside, Poliwrath was one of the ten Kanto Pokemon who I never got in the TCG as a kid. ;(

348. Hitmonchan Image
(National Dex: 107; Generation: I)
Insert mass chaos here. As a preface, I do like Hitmonchan, but I've never understood what was so amazing about it. People say it's a badass, but I picked Hitmonlee the first time I played Blue because I thought it looked cooler. Hitmonchan is also wearing pink clothes, the lower half of which could be easily confused for a skirt in some of its sprites, and it was an atrocious battling Pokemon until DP introduced the move split to finally salvage Hitmonchan. I mean, people were so excited about Hitmonchan learning the elemental punches in the old days... until they realized it had base 35 Special and couldn't use them. Outside the realm of the games, I can still remember the days when entire decks were built around Hitmonchan because it could do 20 damage on turn one, and it's hilarious to look at how different the TCG is today because Base Hitmonchan would be garbage in today's metagame. And then there's the anime, where Hitmonchan appeared in one episode and got its ass kicked by Team Rocket, which might as well be a Crowning Moment of Suck because its owner wasn't even a villain. Not much of a badass. Hitmonchan just doesn't live up to the hype it gets, sorry to say.

347. Shuppet Image
(National Dex: 353; Generation: III)
I don't have much to say about Shuppet besides the fact that it's cute, especially compared to one-eyed Duskull or zipper-mouth Banette. It's not extremely cute, but it's a nice puppet design and it's cute enough that I rank it this high despite never bothering to use one in the video games, where it was at least more common in my preferred version. It has some adorable artwork in the TCG and it was pretty cute in the anime even though it befriended Max, which is never a great way to appeal to me. It was also the only Hoenn Pokemon for which I made a forum icon, although darkmind did make some modifications to improve it. Icon love childrens. <3

346. Zangoose Image
(National Dex: 335; Generation: III)
So I've made it clear that I was mainly a Sapphire player, rather than a Ruby player, and tend to have more loyalty to the version exclusives in my preferred game. And while I like Zangoose, I'm not thrilled by how Zangoose and Seviper have such an unbalanced rivalry. Seviper is the cooler of the two, but Zangoose has immunity to the main side effect of Seviper's type and it also has a much better stat distribution. Hell, I'm surprised they didn't go the distance and make Zangoose a Steel-type mongoose just to drive home the point that Seviper is Zangoose's bitch. (BTW, I pretty much have to mention that the two species can breed, so sometimes that's even a literal statement.) Zangoose does look kind of cool, but it's a bit too angry and rabid for my tastes, and I don't get why it was a random "M" across its chest. I think the writers of the anime also missed a GOLDEN opportunity for comedy because Jessie had Seviper yet nobody had a Zangoose. How awesome would it have been if James got one and Team Rocket's Pokemon always ended up fighting with EACH OTHER? Unfortunately we never got that, and the rivalry, which is such a big part of the duo's backstory, was only shown via some annoying Character of the Day's Zangoose.

345. Mightyena Image
(National Dex: 262; Generation: III)
Even though Mightyena is a rabid-looking Dark-type, which usually isn't my style, I do like it nonetheless. My main complaint is that its family is a bit too similar to Houndoom's, giving it that faint scent of being a Hoenn replacement to an existing line, but not as present as other Hoenn Pokemon like this. While, yes, having ANOTHER two-stage canine-like Dark family was kind of a stretch since Houndoom had been only introduced in the previous games, Mightyena at least has a different type, different ability and there are enough things that differentiate the two. However, Mightyena is unfortunately the vastly inferior of the two due to it being one of the stereotypical early-game Pokemon that have a blah movepool and subpar stats. Due to this, I was really excited when I saw Zoroark's silhouette because it looked like it would have been a Mightyena evolution if it were related to an existing Pokemon. I want to like Mightyena's family more, and perhaps a cool new final evolution would help in that, but unfortunately Zoroark was not such a Pokemon. Maybe next time.

344. Wormadam Ground Image
(National Dex: 413; Generation: IV)
If you recall, the Sandy Burmy was the first of the three Burmy to be eliminated, so therefore it's appropriate for Sand Cloak Wormadam to go before her other forms as well. Unlike Burmy, I like all three of the Wormadam, but Sandy Wormadam is the most visually dull of the three, just like her pre-evolved form, and she is currently the only fully evolved Bug/Ground-type Pokemon, which is bittersweet. As I discussed with Nincada's write-up, while it's cool that Wormadam has a unique typing for a fully evolved Pokemon, it's also a pretty weak Pokemon who can't hold her own in battle at all, making me wish the type were used on something that actually had potential. She's also a floating cliche in that A) she's a female Pokemon with higher defensive stats than offensive ones, and B) she's a Ground-type with higher Defense than Special Defense. So while Sand Wormadam is fine, it could have been so much more.

343. Spinda Image
(National Dex: 327; Generation: III)
Spinda is one of Generation III's many gimmick Pokemon, and in this case the gimmick is purely aesthetic. Spinda can have one of over 4 million patterns determined by its hidden IVs, essentially making it so that you can never see two of the same Spinda in the wild. However, every Spinda also has crazy spiral eyes that make it look constantly high. Oddly, despite there only being four Spinda cards in the TCG, more than one has a smoking volcano in the background; when I met Krisp last year and gave her bunch of Pokemon cards, she wanted one "that had the volcano with the smoke because Spinda is always high." Unfortunately, Spinda is a typical useless gimmick Pokemon in that all of its stats are base 60 and it doesn't evolve. However, I still think Spinda is pretty cute due to being a confused panda and it's one of the top existing Pokemon that I'd like to see evolve in a later Pokemon game. They could do more with the panda aspect and even make Spinda a happiness evolution so it would become a happy panda. Sadly, it'll probably rot away for all eternity as a gimmick Pokemon.

342. Exeggcute Image
(National Dex: 102; Generation: I)
So here's my question: HOW DO A GROUP OF EGGS BECOME GRASS-TYPE POKEMON??? I know Pokemon has always been a little fluid with its type classifications, but this makes absolutely no sense when mammals lay eggs, which have nothing in common with plants at all. Anyway, Exeggcute is most notable to me for being one of the Kanto Safari Zone's more common Pokemon that I always managed to catch accidentally. Not realizing how awesome or powerful Exeggutor was at the time, I kind of resented Exeggcute for it. It also had a bizarre sprite in Red/Blue, in which the main egg was about three times larger than any of the others. You also have to feel for that poor cracked egg who gets shoved into the back. Due to its design, Exeggcute is one of the easier Pokemon to draw, unless you happen to be the crime against all artwork everywhere known as Tomokazu Komiya, who can't even draw circles without doing them wrong. Exeggcute is a fine Pokemon that evolves (somewhat nonsensically) into a great one, and that means it's pretty good.

341. Ekans Image
(National Dex: 23; Generation: I)
So, Ekans is probably most famous for the fact that its name is Snake backwards ZOMG am I the first person to notice this?!?!?! being Jessie's first Pokemon in the anime. It filled the role fine, but I always preferred James' Koffing back then and even now. Ekans' most enjoyable appearance for my money was the Ekans Hoop Hurl minigame in the first English Pokemon Stadium, which was one of my personal favorite mini-games in that title. I also remember searching all over the courses in Pokemon Snap to find Ekans because I saw a doctored Pokemon Snap screenshot back in 1999 that claimed Ekans was the game's secret 68th Pokemon and pasted Ekans' then-Japanese-only Stadium model against the River course's background. Man, I was disappointed at never being able to find it. ;_; Anyway, I do like Ekans, but I wish it had more interesting patterns on it or something because it's not a very intimidating design. I can't imagine Ekans using its once-trademark move, Glare, and paralyzing anything with fear, especially not in Green where it looks like somebody just forced a fist down its throat.

In the next update: 3 Kanto, 2 Johto, 3 Hoenn, 2 Sinnoh. And, come on guys! Post about how you agree with me, or call me out on my opinions, or discuss amongst yourselves about the Pokemon that I just reviewed... do SOMETHING!

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Wed Jul 07, 2010 12:43 pm
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I like Sandy Wormadam the best, because I once traded one to my friend for Pokedex purposes provoking the response, "It looks like pizza!" It's pepperoni and cheese pizza...

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Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:12 pm
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IF James got a Zangoose to rival Jessie's Seviper, that bit would get as old as Misty/Max/Croagunk hurting Brock whenever he flirts. Sorry, but even Team Rocket needs to be competent enough that they can actually get hold of Pikachu. They just can't get away.

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Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:04 pm
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As much as I like your write ups Frost I must disagree with your opinions on Treecko and Grovyle. They are in fact my favorite starter line from Gen III. Though I do think they look creepy I like the whole lizard line that they went with throughout its evolution. Also I must say Mightyena and Zangoose are another two of my favorite Hoenn Pokemon. They both have appeared in nearly all of my Ruby playthroughs. Mightyena can be quite decent having two abilities that are great, Intimidate and Quick Feet, though its movepool is subpar its movepool is useful to an extent. Plus the fact that its a dog makes me love it more. Also you are right on Zangoose Seviper is its little bitch. Still I like it still I think why they made Zangoose so much better than Seviper is that they are going off the whole Mongoose kills Snake myth, though I am pretty sure I heard from someone that the mongoose loses more often than it wins.

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Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:31 pm
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I may be wrong, but I think the "M" on Zangoose's chest comes from "Mongoose". I probably like it as much as I like Seviper, and I have to agree that it would be awesome if Team Rocket had the pair.

And yes, Shuppet is adorable (especially this new sprite; it's smiling!); I'm a big fan of Banette as well, though.

It's funny that I never thought that Ekans was supposed to be intimidating; to me, it was always a "baby snake", purposely leaving the role of "scary" to Arbok, so it's alright.

I think Poochyena and Mightyena are an alright Dark type since they are based on hyenas, even though I have to admit I thought of Houndour and Houndoom when I first saw them. But then I grew fonder of their designs and actually find Poochyena quite an adorable little pup (despite the huge fangs) and Mightyena to be an interesting representation of a hyena (most likely closer to the Striped Hyena instead of the more commonly known Spotted Hyena).

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Thu Jul 08, 2010 4:00 pm
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Zangoose is ok, but really I have a hard time liking Seviper. I love snakes, so I wish I could love Seviper... but it just doesn't do it for me. For one thing, the sprites are always all coiled up in a "wave" style, making it look fat and clumsy...

Ekans never really stood out to me, but it deserves at least some respect from me since I looooooooooove Arbok.

As for Shuppet, I couldn't agree more about how cute it is; in fact, in my latest Sapphire playthrough, I gave it an Everstone and used it the whole game. Banette is just too ugly for me (sorry Galar).

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Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:56 pm
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7/10 is probably the most boring range of Pokemon as far as commentary is concerned. I like all of these but they're not exceptionally interesting or else they'd be higher. Still I continue on.

Update Title: "Grimer the Pervert," referring to an image linked in #338's write-up.

340. Makuhita Image
(National Dex: 296; Generation: III)
Makuhita's line did one thing right and didn't try to "replace" Machop's line. Both were in RS but they were distinguished enough in their stats and movepool that Makuhita doesn't have the "Hoenn replacement" thing going on. And if there's one compliment that I can pay the family, it's that they are based around a distinctive real-world fighting style, which is something I wish more Fighting-types could possess. In Makuhita's case, it's a cute little sumo wrestler who is named after a sumo wrestling division and whose appearance draws comparison to Majin Buu from Dragon Ball Z due to their similar facial expressions. The one thing I don't get about Makuhita's design is that little knot on the top of its head; it makes Makuhita's entire head look like a tied up sack like the ones you'd see cartoon characters wrap around a stick as they run away from home. Other than that, I think Makuhita is a nice little Pokemon with a strong basis that portrays an aspect of Japanese culture, which I enjoy.

339. Larvitar Image
(National Dex: 246; Generation: II)
With Bagon, Beldum and Gible being awful and Dratini being awesome, Larvitar is the comfortable midpoint of the Pseudo Legendary basic forms. Larvitar's biggest role was in the anime, where it joined as Ash's unofficial seventh Pokemon, causing a lot of pointless, stupid debates about whether or not Larvitar was actually one of Ash's Pokemon. (For the record, I think it is.) Larvitar got a story arc about how it was cold and distant until some Unown brought the group into its mind and they unlocked its heart, and then they found his mother and left them in the wild. Other than this nice anime arc, Larvitar was pretty low-profile in the video games, where it only appeared in one place at the very end of GSC despite being that game's Pseudo Legendary archetype. Thankfully, HGSS did the right thing and put Larvitar into the Johto Safari Zone so that people could catch it before the game was 95% over. Larvitar is cute enough but it's a bit dull, which seems to be a recurring problem of the Rock-type, and this is reflected since it's less-discussed than Dratini, Bagon or Gible. I mean, the most notable things about Larvitar are that it evolves into Tyranitar and eats dirt. Seriously.

338. Grimer Image
(National Dex: 88; Generation: I)
For being just a pile of purple sludge, Grimer is pretty cute. However, it hasn't really done much to stand out more. In the anime, it was portrayed as a bully, attacking Erika as a kid and swarming to a Power Plant and shutting off the power until Ash intervened. In Pokemon Snap, it was just kind of hanging out in a cave and randomly evolved if you threw Pester Balls at all. It was far enough away that it was a bit hard to get a good score in the Pokemon Report, too. In the TCG, Grimer's artwork is a bit mediocre overall, with the only notable exception being the Rocket Grimer card that had be edited so that Grimer wasn't looking up a girl's skirt. Scaaaandalous! And the only thing that stands out about Grimer in main series is that they reference the anime and have Grimer appear in Celadon City's pond in every game starting with Yellow. So Grimer is probably one of the most forgettable Kanto Pokemon, but I still think it's pretty cute and has an awesome evolution, which is enough to bring it this high.

337. Swalot Image
(National Dex: 317; Generation: III)
Swalot was another one of those "Hoenn replacement Pokemon" and in this case GameFreak wasn't even trying to be subtle about it. It's a purple Poison-type that looks like pile of sludge, just like Muk, and the two even share abilities. When I recently created a Poison team in Diamond, I used both Pokemon and, like Houndoom vs. Mightyena before it, Swalot is so horribly outclassed by its predecessor that you almost have to wonder why GameFreak bothered creating the thing. Don't get me wrong, I actually like Swalot and think it's pretty cute, but as a battling Pokemon? It's the pits, thanks in no small part to the awfulness of Poison as an offensive typing and its well-rounded but mediocre stats. I hemmed and hawed for days on what set to give my Swalot before finally deciding to make her Sleep Talker, and she trailed behind the rest of the team in Levels until I moved onto the next one. Pokemon that I think are cool tend to be awful in battle and Swalot is no exception. At least its disturbingly large mouth can be funny sometimes.

336. Poliwhirl Image
(National Dex: 61; Generation: I)
While it's not as cute as Poliwag, Poliwhirl is fairly cute and, as I alluded to in Poliwrath's write-up, better than its evolved form. Now, Poliwhirl is supposed to be Satoshi Tajiri's favorite Pokemon and... I don't get it. His favorite Pokemon out of the thousands that his team has designed over the years is a generic middle evolution from a tadpole line? Different strokes, I guess. However, due to Tajiri's preference for Poliwhirl, it gets usage that it doesn't deserve as a promotional Pokemon. I don't have anything against the Pokemon, but I just can't see it as something that would inspire kids to become Pokemon fans, especially not over all of the series' other extremely cute, kid-friendly Pokemon. Anyway, in the anime, the demon cuntress known as Misty got a Poliwhirl when she battled Ash to keep Totodile and her Poliwag evolved even though she lost. I'd say bitch lost that trade-off except Poliwhirl later evolved into its more awesome evolution instead Poliwrath. I also remember being really excited when I got Poliwhirl in a Base set booster as kid, even though it was probably because I got Charizard on the same day and therefore Poliwhirl seemed a whole lot more OMG COOL by association.

335. Shellder Image
(National Dex: 90; Generation: I)
Shellder is pretty cute, what with that tongue always sticking out, and it evolves into a Pokemon that I like. Like Remoraid and Mantyke, Shellder is also said to play a role in the evolution of Slowpoke, as it can bite the Pokemon in two different places to trigger an evolution into either Slowbro or Slowking, but this has never panned out in the actual games, which is a bit unfortunate. The relationship was shown in-detail in the anime episode "The Evolution Solution," in which Jessie caught a Shellder. I thought this was awesome until Shellder clamped down on Slowpoke, Ash sent Team Rocket blasting off for trying to steal half of what was their own Pokemon, and Jessie's Shellder was never mentioned again. Disappointing. And in Pokemon Snap, it was nearly impossible to get a good score for Shellder in the Pokemon Report due to it emerging from the River and flying around at the same speed of the Zero-One. I could never get a good Size score for Shellder and it was always one of my lowest scores in the entire game. And, while I like Shellder, it's a bit too small and basic for me to put higher.

334. Murkrow Image
(National Dex: 198; Generation: II)
I never understood why Dark was supposed to be a good type in GSC. Between its five new Dark-types, Sneasel was awful, Umbreon couldn't do anything but annoy, and Murkrow was easily the worst of the pack. Murkrow actually had potential because its typing removed all of Dark's weaknesses, plus it had a decent movepool, but its pitiful Defenses wrecked it and the Attack stats were a bit too low for such a glass cannon as well. While its design is alright, it even seems fragile and as if it knows how much it sucked as a final evolution, which is why it looked permanently sad until Generation IV. Thankfully, DP gave Murkrow a much-needed (and pretty cool) evolution in Honchkrow, so now the Pokemon doesn't seem like as much wasted potential and I like it a lot more as a first stage rather than a final one. As a crow, it's a pretty nice spin on the typical early-game Normal/Flying bird archetype in that it's a nocturnal Dark/Flying crow. In the immortal words of Megan Joy, CAW CAW!

333. Poochyena Image
(National Dex: 261; Generation: III)
This was a last minute switch, as Poochyena was originally slotted behind Murkrow. As far as cute Dark Pokemon, the pickings are pretty slim, and Poochyena is probably the best of the bunch after Umbreon. Being an early game Pokemon with a pretty eh sprite in RS, I tried Poochyena one time and promptly ditched it because it wasn't very useful. It was actually the anime that showed me how cute Poochyena could be, as there was an episode built around Max (ew) befriending a sad Poochyena and helping it evolve. Then I got back into the TCG, where Poochyena had plenty of cute cards and even became the first Dark-type Pokemon for which I had every card. And I know Krisp likes Poochyena so that helps too. My feelings about Mightyena are a little more lukewarm, so liking Poochyena is the main reason why I want Mightyena to get a more useful evolution someday. However, while Poochyena is cute, it's not extremely cute, probably because it usually looks like it wants to eat my face, so here it exits.

332. Staravia Image
(National Dex: 397; Generation: IV)
I know I'm like a broken record with the "Middle Evolution Syndrome" thing, but Staravia is yet another example. Starly is a cute enough early-game bird archetype and Staraptor is quite possibly the most badass Normal/Flying ever. What is Staravia? An intermediate form that greatly resembles puberty due to its awkwardness. For some laughable reason, Staravia gets the Intimidate ability even though it's about three feet tall and a backwards Snooki puff where its hair should be. Still, it's a decent enough design, despite its awkwardness, and it links two Pokemon that I really like, so Staravia is more or less alright. I also feel the need to defend Staravia because, like Bibarel, it's pretty common in the wild and not all that useful until it evolves, inspiring the wrath of stupid children and people who chain for shinies everywhere. Again, would you hate your favorite Pokemon if it were spammed all over the Region like Staravia? Probably not, so get over it. At least Staravia evolves, unlike Bibarel, and its evolution is more useful than Golbat's.

331. Gliscor Image
(National Dex: 472; Generation: IV)
If you're an astute observer, you might notice that I didn't use Gliscor's DP sprite. Why is this? Because that sprite is fucking hideous. I started my comparer in July 2008, before Platinum had been released, and Gliscor really floundered in my rankings because all of its matches had this terribad image that made Gliscor look like an anorexic gremlin. Thankfully Platinum came out and Ash's Gligar evolved in the anime, so I got to see that Gliscor was actually pretty decent design. When people say that Gamefreak is "running out of ideas," it really makes me roll my eyes; just look at Gliscor. If you can tell me that a flying vampire scorpion is uncreative, I say you're a liar. Unfortunately, in one of the DP anime's WORST moments, Ash's Gliscor got screwed over harder than any of his Pokemon since Kanto when it was written off the show midway to make room for a fucking dumbass GIBLE. And people still praise this anime as the best of the three? Please. Anyway, I do like Gliscor, but I've never been able to use one in the video games because I don't have Emerald and can't use Wi-fi anymore. I'd like to place Gliscor higher but I need to use it first.

Hints for the next update:
Highlight to view spoiler.
Both members of a two-stage family.
The third member to be eliminated from a three-stage family.
Two Sinnoh Legendaries.
Four Psychics altogether.
A Steel-type that people might be surprised to see out so soon.

2 Kanto, 3 Johto, 2 Hoenn, 3 Sinnoh altogether.

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Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:06 am
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Might this Steel type be Steelix? I'm not sure if you rated it already... hard to remember.

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Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:22 pm
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I'm not going to say too much against you, Frost, because you're putting in all the work that most people here aren't doing at all...

As to continuing, I say YES!! Have you edited in the newly revealed Pokemon in where they would go? If so, I need to rescan this topic... Are you ever going to post your character rankings? Maybe after GPCT is over?

Keep on posting these cool commentaries!

AEPMT :mrgreen: ;) 8-)

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Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:27 pm
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I had Zoroark and Zorua ranked but decided not to continue putting in the Generation V Pokemon. The new kids need a chance to make an impression on me, plus changing my rankings everytime a new Pokemon was revealed for nearly an entire year did not sound appealing to me. I will do a completely new ranking that includes Generation V Pokemon after the games are out and I've had time to digest all of the new Pokemon. I need to make a new ranking anyway because there are some Pokemon that I'd switch around on THIS one but I don't want to keep swapping things all over the place or else it'd never get done.

The humans in Pokemon games are boring as hell, so I probably won't ever do a ranking of this caliber for them. Almost none of them have character development or even personalities so it'd basically come down to a crapshoot like "Fantina is a tranny" "Sabrina is hot" "Lance has a cape" "Lt. Surge is hot" "Misty is a vile demonic cuntress from planet Failure" etc. Besides, I've already posted the most entertaining write-up that such a ranking would bring (Misty's).

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Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:36 am
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Greatwolf67 wrote:
Might this Steel type be Steelix? I'm not sure if you rated it already... hard to remember.

Dude censorship! Some people didn't read the spoiler!

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Sat Jul 10, 2010 7:51 am
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I didn't reveal any of the Pokemon in the spoilers, so that person was just guessing.

Update Title: "Snakes on a Plane," referring to #323 and #321.

330. Snubbull Image
(National Dex: 209; Generation: II)
Man, I still remember the days when "Bruno" was a new Pokemon rumored to appear in the Pikachu short that played before the first movie. Damn you, Snubbull, for making me feel like a dinosaur. Anyway, while Snubbull was one of the first Johto Pokemon revealed to the public, it was never super exciting to me. It's a bulldog, so at least it wasn't a rehash of existing dog-based families like Growlithe, but it goes around with a permanent grumpy face and that's not appealing. I don't get why the Pokedex claims little girls find Snubbull adorable because... really? My tastes in Pokemon are pretty in-sync with a little girl's but I'm not exactly gushing over this thing's cuteness. Snubbull's biggest role probably came in the anime, where a rich woman's Snubbull left her secluded mansion life and followed Ash around like Jigglypuff did. The story arc really went nowhere but at least it got a conclusion, unlike poor Jigglypuff who fell into a black hole and was never heard from again, when Snubbull evolved and returned home. I used Snubbull for the first time when it swarmed in DP; it was alright but nothing special, kind of like my feelings for the Pokemon itself.

329. Mantyke Image
(National Dex: 458; Generation: IV)
Mantyke was among the first ten Sinnoh Pokemon revealed to the public and I still want to know why GameFreak thinks Baby Pokemon excite the public for new games? Anyway, I thought Mantyke, as a baby manta ray, was adorable when it was revealed, even though I've kind of cooled toward the design over the years. For one thing, I am not a fan of the goofy smiley face on Mantyke's back at ALL. It also isn't cool how Mantine got a pre-evolution but its counterpart Skarmory was left hanging, nor is it cool how Mantyke STILL only has one English-language TCG card, flawing my second Pokedex binder. However, I love the way that Mantyke evolves via leveling up with a Remoraid in one's party. After years of empty statements such as "Shellder bites Slowpoke on the head/tail to trigger evolution" and "Three Magnemite come together to evolve into Magneton," the main series games FINALLY gave us an evolution method that showed off the interaction between multiple Pokemon. I thank Mantyke for this.

328. Smoochum Image
(National Dex: 296; Generation: II)
Smoochum is fairly cute for a Baby Pokemon, and definitely moreso than a tiger-stripped socket or a melting booby, even though it does look a like an unripe vegetable compared to Jynx. Smoochum was more necessary than the typical Baby Pokemon to deflect those "Jynx is racist" complaints as she came without any of her evolution's controversial design elements. Because I like training my Pokemon from eggs, however, Smoochum's existence always pissed me off because she couldn't learn Lovely Kiss and that meant I always had to play through GSC without my Jynx having her signature move, unless I tried to get to Pokemon Stadium 2's Move Relearner and fuck that noise! Smoochum is more low-key than counterparts Elekid and Magby, likely due to Jynx, as I learned when it took months me to get a Smoochum swarm in Diamond. I also recall Smoochum having a cameo in the anime, which was funny because she was nicknamed "Josephine" but the dub didn't even bother giving a name to HER TRAINER. Anyway, Smoochum is a bit cute and evolves into one of my favorite Pokemon, but that can only take a goofy Baby Pokemon so far.

327. Mr. Mime Image
(National Dex: 296; Generation: I)
Mr. Mime's name is definitely its most irritating aspect. In Japan, it has the gender-neutral name "Barrier," but Nintendo of America, for whatever reason, decided to give it a gender-specific name. As we all saw in Generation II, it blew up in their faces because now FEMALE Mr. Mime could exist, and of course uninformed children cried, "d00d y duz sabrina hav a girl mr. mime did it get sex change LOLOLOLOL!!1!!" Annoying. Because of its Pokemon Power, Invisible Wall, Jungle Mr. Mime was also one of the most evil Pokemon in the early TCG because, 95% of the time, it was the only Pokemon in the game who could never be OHKOed. In the anime, Mr. Mime is most known for being Mrs. Ketchum's man servant housekeeper, which is a totally pointless role that I won't waste quality wit on insulting. In the games, Mr. Mime is one of the Pokemon that only could be obtained via in-game trade in RBY, an aspect of the franchise that I've kind of missed in the later games, and the worst Psychic of them all in Generation I, which is really sort of an oxymoron. People also say Mime is Jynx's "male" counterpart due to its English name, which is annoying, and DP gave it a stupid Baby form that I'd rather not discuss again. It's a solid enough mime design, and it can even be cute occasionally, but usually it's a bit weird and creepy, so here it ranks.

326. Relicanth Image
(National Dex: 369; Generation: III)
As its name implies, Relicanth is based on a coelacanth, an ancient fish that has lived for so long that it is called a "living fossil." While Relicanth is not a Fossil Pokemon, probably because it is based on a species that is not actually extinct unlike all of the other Fossil Pokemon, it still has the Rock-type found among all Fossil Pokemon so I unofficially consider it one. Relicanth is probably best known for being required to get the Regitrio in RSE, but I never felt like capturing them so I never caught Relicanth in those games. When DP came along and Relicanth got Physical Water-type STAB, along with Head Smash to abuse with an ability that prevented recoil, it became much more intriguing. While I still haven't gotten around to using Relicanth in the games and it is a bit on the boring side (after all, it is a Rock-type), I do appreciate its design, basis and what it brings to the series. It would be cool if they incorporated weather more into the overworld in future games and you could only catch Relicanth during rain storms, too. (A cookie to anybody who got that reference.)

325. Mesprit Image
(National Dex: 481; Generation: IV)
As I mentioned in Uxie's write-up, I do wish the Legendary Pixies could have been dual-types, and Psychic/Fire would have been my choice for Mesprit due to its magenta coloring. Mesprit would have benefited greatly because it is the "balanced" member of its trio, which basically means that it's pointless and outclassed in battle by many other more specialized Pokemon, especially Psychics. While Mesprit is better than Uxie because it can actually open its eyes, the problem I have with Mesprit's design is the "dreadlocks." Due to their color scheme, the Legendary Pixies have drawn comparisons to the three main characters of the Sonic series, and Mesprit's "dreads" certainly don't help dispel those comparisons to Knuckles. Also, Mesprit is the "Emotion"-based member of the Pixies, yet it has this ultra-snobby look on its face as if its judging me, and it appears to Dawn of all people in the anime, probably only because she's a girl and Mesprit is pink, which is a rather ironic choice to me because I find Dawn to be THE most bland and boring main character in the anime. Despite all of this, I do still like Mesprit, just not exceedingly.

324. Phione Image
(National Dex: 489; Generation: IV)
I admit this upfront: Phione is the most unnecessary Generation IV Pokemon. For whatever reason, GameFreak thought it was a great idea to let a Legendary Pokemon breed and give birth to some bizarre mule who couldn't evolve into its parent form. And Phione is a joke all around, lacking Manaphy's movepool (including its trademark move Heart Swap and the rare Tail Glow), getting stuck with Glalie's mediocre stat spread rather than Manaphy's, and even taking more damage from Grass Knot than Manaphy does. Phione was tossed into NU in DP's metagame, where even Dewgong is probably a more viable Hydration Rest user. Yet, despite ALL of this, Nintendo and GameFreak have declared Phione a Legendary anyway. Let's consult Bob Barker on this revelation:
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I resented Phione for years because it was so unnecessary, and then I got into the TCG and started to like it after seeing some cute artwork. (Side note: looking at that picture made me notice the similarities between Phione and Baltoy's bodies... as well as a top.) Yeah, Phione is pointless and the weakest Legendary Pokemon ever, but at least it's cute and harmless, unlike so many other more offensive Pokemon out there.

323. Steelix Image
(National Dex: 207; Generation: II)
Because Onix was one of Generation I's biggest failures in battle, Steelix was one of Generation II's most necessary new evolutions, and it was a much-improved one thanks to its unique type combination and some stat increases where they really mattered. Of course, I thought Steelix was nothing more than an obstacle on Jasmine's team for years because it was a trade evolution that I couldn't get until Crystal in 2008. It's pretty decent in battle but nothing game-breaking, and I also don't recall it playing much of a role in the anime since Brock's Onix never got to evolve even though it would have been appreciated in the Johto-based arc. Steelix is a pretty ugly mofo altogether, what with those checkerboard-patterned teeth and the unappealing artwork that it's gotten in the TCG over the years, but it's not particularly annoying and it doesn't have any obnoxious fans at least. So while I can appreciate what Steelix brings to the table as an evolution to Onix and as a battling Pokemon, it just doesn't look cute or cool enough for me to put higher.

322. Ninjask Image
(National Dex: 291; Generation: III)
For a few brief months before the Speed Deoxys came along, Ninjask was the fastest Pokemon in existence, and for some reason GameFreak thought it was necessary to give such a Pokemon an ability that boosts its Speed by one level after every turn to boot. As such, Ninjask is basically a one-trick pony in battle, where it typically tries to pass Speed to its teammates, but at least it does this role well. Outside of that one role, Ninjask is the pits because it's our umpteenth Bug/Flying-type with a mediocre movepool, plus it has pretty lackluster stats other than the Speed and some decent Attack. While Ninjask has a pretty cool look for a cicada, I don't really understand how its design portrays the "ninja" aspect implied in its name, much like I don't get how Shedinja is a "nukenin," so I'd like to see some actual ninja-based Pokemon introduced to the series. Ninjask is good but I don't have too much of a personal connection with it, so here it ranks. Oh, and why can't Ninjask learn Extremespeed? Seriously.

321. Onix Image
(National Dex: 95; Generation: I)
I find Onix to be one of Kanto's most original designs. If Onix were just some Poison-type snake, it'd be... Arbok, but instead we have a gigantic snake made out of rocks, which is pretty creative. While it was pretty intimidating due to its status as the longest Pokemon in Generation I, Onix is a big softie who couldn't harm a fly due to its horrendous offensive stats. Remind me again how a giant rock snake could have lower physical Attack than a tiny thing like FLAREON? With a bad type combination, no offensive power and low HP that actively ruined Onix's only good stat, the Pokemon was one of the worst in RBY. Thankfully, GSC came along and, like Murkrow, Onix works much better as a first evolution than a final one. Onix's biggest role was in the anime, where it was Brock's Starter Pokemon and also the first Pokemon to ever defeat God Ash's Pikachu in battle, but it was mostly low-profile until it was unceremoniously dumped off with Brock's brother and evolved offscreen. Lame. There was also an episode called "Hooked on Onyx [sic]," which is pretty funny when you know that it's a reference to "Hooked on Phonics" and they made a spelling error. Anyway, while Onix is creative, it's not particularly cute or exciting, so I like it but don't love it.

Next update: Highlight to view spoiler.
-A Hoenn Legendary.
-Two Pokemon who are counterparts.
-Two Pokemon from Starter families.
-Three Rock Pokemon.
-Five middle evolutions in a row (lol).

4 Kanto, 2 Johto, 4 Hoenn and no Sinnoh.

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Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:36 am
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Hmm... amusing I guessed correctly, I was just throwin Steelix out since it seemed like one you would rank soon.

And lol for Animal Crossing reference, as well as the notice I made to the legendary sonic characters (I actually named all of them after each of the characters, ps the shinies for them look and match up to the name better)

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Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:27 pm
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Heh. I hated having to catch the Ceolacanth in Animal Crossing. What kind of fish only comes out when it rains at night on the weekends? I caught about 70 Sea Basses before I managed to snag this guy.

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Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:48 pm
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when i was little, i always thought onix was the coolest pokemon ever. for some reason, i just loved the idea of a rock-snake. maybe ninjask is "ninja" due to the high speed?? like ninjas don't need armor simply because they can dodge most attacks (in fiction and pop culture, anyways). something like that.

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Last edited by rex09 on Sat Jul 10, 2010 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Jul 10, 2010 3:13 pm
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Steel_Eel wrote:
Heh. I hated having to catch the Ceolacanth in Animal Crossing. What kind of fish only comes out when it rains at night on the weekends? I caught about 70 Sea Basses before I managed to snag this guy.

Actually its anytime it rains from what I remember.

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Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:03 pm
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Update Title: "Brock's True Love," referring to #319.

320. Geodude Image
(National Dex: 74; Generation: I)
Like Zubat, Geodude is mostly known for being an obstacle of choice in just about any cave in every Pokemon game. However, Geodude isn't as common as Zubat, plus I like its evolutions more, so it's no surprise that I prefer Geodude over its cave-dwelling counterpart. Lamely, every single Rock-type Gym Leader in the video games has had at least one Geodude, because God forbid the game directors show a little creativity when it comes to the Gym Leaders' rosters, and Brock also had a Geodude in the anime. Even though Onix was supposed to be Brock's Starter, Geodude's smaller size meant that it was easier for the writers to utilize and it ended up with more screentime, although I really wish it could have evolved since it was around for so long. Brock's Geodude, much like its species in general, was a solid Pokemon that was cool enough for what it was but never really stood out from the crowd. And, as a side note, don't lie: you know you thought Fossil Geodude was awesome when you were a kid because it potentially OHKO Charizard. I know I did!

319. Sudowoodo Image
(National Dex: 185; Generation: II)
Sudowoodo was supposed to be Generation II's answer to Snorlax: a strong Pokemon that blocks your path on the overworld. Unfortunately, it was a pretty big flop compared its predecessor, so it's no surprise that they retired the idea of every game having an obstacle Pokemon afterward. Sudowoodo's gimmick is that it looks like a tree but it's really a pure Rock-type, the series' first, and personally I think Sudowoodo would have worked better if it really were a Grass/Rock-type instead. This is because, even though it's gotten a decent movepool over the years, it doesn't stand out against other, better Rock-types. And stupidly, despite being a low-tier Pokemon, Gamefreak addressed this by giving Sudowoodo... an uncute Baby form that added NOTHING to its evolved form. Good job, guys. Brock also got a Sudowoodo in the anime after his Bonsly evolved, but I'm not going to pretend I was watching the DP anime by that point. Sudowoodo is kind of cute for a Rock-type but it's still a bit of a let-down. Also:

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(This wasn't even his OWN Sudowoodo! Brock, you tramp!)

318. Croconaw Image
(National Dex: 159; Generation: II)
Instead of the typical middle evolution speech, Croconaw is mostly disappointing only because Totodile is so freaking awesome. It's a happy little dancing alligator who evolves into some serious, chunky bigger crocodile with a fraction of the charm. Compared to other Starter middle evolutions, Croconaw is cooler than that pissed off owl known as Prinplup but not as appealing to the other Water-type or Johto middle evolutions. You can tell that I don't have much to say about Croconaw because so far I've only compared it to other, more exciting Pokemon, and I guess that's the problem when the Pokedex acts like a Pokemon's most exciting aspect is its number of teeth. I remember using Croconaw in my first in-game team with trading capabilities, so there's some nice nostalgia, but now that I recall... Totodile evolves later and Feraligatr evolves earlier than their counterparts, so maybe even the people in charge weren't thrilled by Croconaw either? It's cool enough and can even be kind of cute on occasion, but it lives in the shadow of its pre-evolution and I'm glad that Ash's Totodile never evolved, although I'm probably the only one who thinks this.

317. Marshtomp Image
(National Dex: 259; Generation: III)
Marshtomp has to be a top-contender for "most awkward English Pokemon name," and the anime's dub made this far worse by giving Marshtomp a hideously nasal voice: I still cringe when thinking about some random Character of the Day's Marshtomp's ear-piercing drone of "MARRRSHHTOMPPP!1!!" Speaking of the anime, Brock's Mudkip evolved into Marshtomp but, unlike Ash or May's Starters, it never reached its final form, which sucks because Swampert is pretty cool in its own right. Like Croconaw, Marshtomp doesn't have crap on its pre-evolved form; while it's definitely cuter than Croconaw, Mudkip is also cuter than Totodile, and Marshtomp does have a bad habit of looking weird or stupid. I blame the yellow "whiskers" (which look more like antennae) paired with the dopey grin and vacant eyes, as shown here and here. However, despite the horrible anime voice, derp face and clunky name, I still think Marshtomp is cute and like the thing, probably because Mudkip was my starter of choice for Generation III and the family was basically God Tier in those games.

316. Weepinbell Image
(National Dex: 70; Generation: I)
Unlike your typical middle evolution, Weepinbell is an improvement over Bellsprout in both general design AND cuteness. I prefer Weepinbell's design because it doesn't have that whole fragile "I could be blown away by a weak breeze" thing going on like Bellsprout does, and Weepinbell's googly eyes are a lot cuter than Bellsprout's dot eyes. As kid, Weepinbell was most notable to me because of the episode "The Breeding Center Secret," in which James' Victreebel debuts. I was confused because everybody acted like James always had a Weepinbell, so I always figured he caught the thing in the banned Safari Zone episode. No such luck. It turns out that James' Weepinbell fell out of the same black hole that Jigglypuff later fell into, and about 200 episodes the anime writers created a flashback to show James and Weepinbell's first meeting, in the very same episode in which Victreebel left the show forever. W...T...F. Great storytelling, anime writers. Weepinbell also had a cute appearance in Pokemon Snap, in which it bounced around obliviously until you knocked it into some water and it evolved into Victreebel. I like Weepinbell a lot for a middle evolution, but it's not a top-tier favorite.

315. Nidorino Image and 314. Nidorina Image
(National Dex: 33 and 30; Generation: I)
Both Nidorino and Nidorina are your typical middle evolutions. Both Nidoran base forms are adorable bunnies, and Nidoking and Nidoqueen are pretty cool, versatile warriors. The middle stages, however, have that whole awkward puberty feeling in effect, but at least they were both pretty useful at the start of Yellow. Coincidentally, people always rag on the Green sprites as being the worst of any Pokemon game, but both Nidorino and Nidorina look a hell of a lot better in Green than they do in Red and Blue. For example, in Red and Blue, somebody punched out all of Nidorino's teeth while Nidorina looks hideous and has quite a strong resemblance to a wild boar, but they both look better in their Green sprites. The duo first appeared in the anime when star-crossed Nidoran lovers evolved together due to their Trainers making peace... they were better off with their owners on bad terms, TBH. I do like that the Nidoran families take on each other's colors in shiny form and that their Delta Species in the TCG are Darkness and Metal, the two new types in Generation II. Anyway, these guys are decent middle evolutions but just alright overall. Oh yeah, and I prefer Nidorina because she's cuter and I like using girls more than boys in video games.

313. Aron Image
(National Dex: 304; Generation: III)
Aron is easily the cutest Rock/Steel-type Pokemon, which is kind of an oxymoron to me when Rock and Steel are probably two more boring types that lack cute Pokemon. It was featured in many cute cards over the years and had a nice cameo with Steven in the anime, where its name was apparently pronounced as "A-ron." The best thing about Aron is probably its color scheme; when Pelli was discussing his Pokemon rankings and declared Barboach as "silvery bacon," he also said that Aron looked like "cookies and cream," which I find to be such an appropriate description that I use it myself. Aron also has those cute blue eyes in addition to the cookies 'n' cream color style, and it does have a pretty cool final evolution despite the bland middle evolution. In general, Aron is another one of the cute Pokemon from RSE that I've never gotten around to using in battle, so it gets 7/10 and rounds out the bottom 200 as a result.

312. Deoxys Attack Image
(National Dex: 386; Generation: III)
As its ranking implies, I like Deoxys' Attack form the best of the four. Out of all of the Deoxys forms, the design appeals to me the most because it suits the form's Attack stat specialization the best, looking sleek and streamlined for beatdowns. It doesn't look clunky like Defense Deoxys, boring like Normal Deoxys or fragile like Speed Deoxys, even though Attack Deoxys is the most fragile of the four. It looks like it could kick your ass at any moment with those tentacle whips and that badass pose. Deoxys' playing style, the definition of a glass cannon, is also more suited to my battling preferences than a super-fast Pokemon with mediocre stats or a wall that can't damage anything. As such, Attack Deoxys is the most entertaining of the four in a battle, being able to OHKO most Pokemon while not being able to survive anything itself. While I've never actually used Deoxys in a battle, Attack Deoxys has the most attractive design and my preferred style, so it's definitely my favorite, even though I don't care much for Deoxys in general. Why couldn't LeafGreen get this thing instead of a traffic cone?

311. Surskit Image
(National Dex: 283; Generation: III)
As I discussed in Masquerain's write-up, Surskit is frustrating. It debuted in Generation III as the series' first Water/Bug-type, a type that WOULD be pretty great if a final evolution ever actually got it, but to this day the unevolved Surskit is still the only Pokemon of its type. Please change this with Generation V, GameFreak. It's also annoying that Masquerain isn't particularly useful in battle, yet Surskit is ridiculously rare in the wild, only having a 1% encounter rate unless it's swarming, and swarms seem to be pretty uncommon in RSE. When something is ridiculously rare, you expect it to be GOOD, or at least to have a better final evolution than a second-rate Venomoth. Despite these problems, I do think Surskit is a pretty cute little guy; I just wish it had an evolution that let it live up to its potential. At least TCG cards were made for both of its types, unlike plenty of other crazy dual-type Pokemon...

Clues for the next update: Highlight to view spoiler.
-An unevolved Fossil Pokemon.
-One form for a Pokemon that has two.
-Four Water-types altogether.
-A Pokemon many will be happy to see eliminated at last.

1 Kanto, 2 Johto, 4 Hoenn and 3 Sinnoh.

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Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:07 pm
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about the nidorino families: do you just mean nidorino and nidorina, or the whole shebang, because nidoqueen's shiny form is green..... so this leads me to believe the former. and i don't see how surskit made it this far; the design is, imo, one of the worst in gen III. totodile and feraligatr are both much better than croconaw, but the only starters i can think of where the middle evos are better than the final are grovyle and combusken, and maybe quilava, but that one's debatable. otherwise, i agree on all counts. i lol'd at sudowoodo and brock.

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Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:57 pm
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.... Uhhhh... that picture of Brock and Sudowoodo, is um... scary. Why Brock, why?!


Mon Jul 12, 2010 9:41 am
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Update Title: "Your Worst Nightmare," referring to #306.

310. Mawile Image
(National Dex: 303; Generation: III)
Mawile is a lot like Hippowdon in that it's a good design if you can ignore the obvious elephant in the room. In Mawile's case, she's a cute little humanoid thing with a GIANT CHOMPING MOUTH where her hair should be. Unfortunately, all of her "front" sprites focus on the giant mouth and you can only see Mawile's real form in her backsprites. I like the juxtaposition between the front and back forms but, since I still haven't gotten around to using Mawile on a team yet, I do wish so much focus weren't placed on her ugly half. Mawile's design was inspired by the Futakuchi-onna, a Japanese youkai who has a second mouth on the back of her head, and she is apparently one of series developer Junichi Masuda's favorite Pokemon. I can understand why, as Mawile is the only Ruby version exclusive that I prefer over its Sapphire counterpart, and I can see Mawile going further up my rankings after I use her on a team. I also wouldn't mind seeing her evolve because the idea has potential and Mawile on her own is a little too flimsy for a final evolution.

309. Omanyte Image
(National Dex: 138; Generation: I)
I remember the first time I played through Blue and some random Super Nerd in Mt. Moon offered to "share" his Fossils with me. Not knowing they would be turned into Pokemon later in the game, I picked the Helix Fossil, as you might have guessed because Omanyte outranks Kabuto, because the name sounded cooler. As such I've always had more loyalty to the Omanyte family than the Kabuto family, and I do think Omanyte is legitimately more interesting than its counterpart. Omanyte has a snail shell, which is more visually interesting than Kabuto's little calm shell, and it has a more expressive face (featuring googly Cookie Monster eyes, my favorites <3) than two glowing red demonic eyes. It's also a hell of a lot cuter than Kabuto, and you are a cold human being if friendless Omanyte doesn't pull at your heartstrings. :'( Omanyte is usually clumped together with all of the other Fossil Pokemon in the various media, appearing with the others in any given Fossil Pokemon-based episode and even debuting in the Fossil TCG set, but that's okay. It's still a cute, if not horribly interesting, little guy.

308. Chinchou Image
(National Dex: 170; Generation: II)
When I read about the new Pokemon in GS for the first time, Chinchou and Lanturn the Water/Electric-types stood out instantly to me due to that unique, useful typing. As such, I fished up Chinchou as soon as I could and added it to my first Silver team. Like a lot of Pokemon in this update, Chinchou can be cute at times, especially in the anime or the TCG, but its cuteness isn't readily apparent because it usually wears the same +_+ expression in its sprites and tends to look a little on the dead side. Also like a lot of the unevolved Pokemon in this update, Chinchou isn't as cute as its evolved form, but at least it's a HELL of a lot cuter than its real-life basis, the completely fugly anglerfish. I also must commend GameFreak for doing the logical thing and making an anglerfish a Water/Electric-type, by the way. Chinchou is a perfectly fine Pokemon with a totally awesome evolution, so that distinguishes it a bit from the typical bland fish Pokemon that you usually need a Rod to drag up.

307. Piloswine Image
(National Dex: 221; Generation: II)
Because most of the Ice-type Pokemon in Generation I were weak against Electric, I guess that's why Ice/Ground-type Piloswine was created as a result. I don't have anything against Piloswine but you can just tell this thing isn't a great final stage. Its design just SCREAMS "I have more potential than this!" and eight years later it was rewarded with Mamoswine, even though Piloswine's evolution method was possible before DP. Piloswine is usually a pretty boring design because those tufts of fur cover its eyes; however, it does have some pretty cute moments in the anime and the TCG, and that's why I'm glad these other media exist. Piloswine dances in one of the Japanese ending themes, which is awesome, and Dawn had one briefly in the anime, but since Dawn's Mamoswine is just a retread of Ash's Charizard, Piloswine was only around for as long as Charmeleon was. Lame. It was also Pryce's best friend and his Piloswine being frozen made him become antisocial until it was rescued years later. And in the TCG, Light Piloswine has some of the cutest artwork ever because its name is taken literally. <3 Piloswine is decent overall, but I wish its cuteness were more apparent. It's also a bit too much like a middle evolution for my tastes, even during those years that it wasn't.

306. Bidoof Image
(National Dex: 399; Generation: IV)
I already expressed a lot of my feelings about Bidoof in Bibarel's rant, but there's plenty left to talk about because Bidoof is even MORE hated. Like Bibarel, I hated Bidoof at the start of Generation IV because it was so common and stupid; even though it was great HM slave, I hated Bidoof so much that I put all of the crappy HM moves onto my in-game team and vowed never to catch the beaver. However, over the years, the obnoxious level of bandwagon Bidoof hatred on this and every other Pokemon forum began to make my skin crawl. Yes, I'm sorry that Bidoof is common, has a cry that supposedly makes your eardrums shatter, a face that's supposed to be incredibly "UGLEE AND STOOPIDZ" and it broke your chains for shiny Pokemon, but grow up. I don't remember Rattata or Zigzagoon getting hatred on Bidoof's level even though they were just as common in their respective titles as Bidoof is in Sinnoh. The levels of Bidoof hatred were so hyperbolic and out of control that you'd think Bidoof ate everybody's grandparents or something to inspire so much hatred. I think the most annoying insult BY FAR was people who thought they were being clever and insulting by calling the Pokemon "Bidoofus." IF YOU DO THIS, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING FUNNY. IT IS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT THE SECOND HALF OF THE POKEMON'S NAME COMES FROM THE WORD "DOOFUS."

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Ironically, it was Bidoof's appearance in the horrible DP anime that made me first realize the Pokemon wasn't that bad. It was pretty cute looking and had a cute voice to boot, although its anime voice is unlike the video games where Bidoof has one of the best in-game cries ever. When Platinum came out, I finally truly ~got~ Bidoof because GameFreak modified its sprite (shown above) to make it even more rage-inducing to its haters; they also gave the family Curse, which works brilliantly with their ability Simple. I finally caved in December 2008 and bred for a battling Bibarel in Diamond to use the new Curse set. It was at this moment I knew I was wrong to hate this family, and then I got into the TCG and was rewarded with the cutest Bidoof card ever. Seriously, how can people hate that adorable face? I don't get it. Bidoof is, in reality, one of the best trolling Pokemon ever invented, and I absolutely adore its power to make idiots explode; Bidoof is also a vampire who feeds on the tears of children and retards everywhere, and everytime I see somebody cry about how Bidoof is so UGLEE AND STOOPIDZ, my love for Bidoof grows further. To be honest, I think #306 is a little bit TOO LOW for this awesome Pokemon, and I expect Bidoof to rank even higher on my list when I redo my rankings for Generation V in a year or two.

305. Yanmega Image
(National Dex: 470; Generation: IV)
Like Piloswine, Yanma was always one of those Pokemon that I looked at and liked, but figured the idea had more potential. Yanma was a little too docile-looking and weak in battle for a final evolution, so GameFreak dutifully obliged and gave us Yanmega in Generation IV. While Yanmega is cool for what it is, I think they went a little TOO far with the idea, making the Pokemon look so robotic and emotionless to the point that it could have easily been called the Yanminator. Sadly, despite LOOKING like a badass, Yanmega retained Yanma's lame Bug/Flying typing, rather than becoming something awesome like Dragon/Bug even though it IS a dragonfly. However, Yanmega isn't all bad; for example, I like how it's just about the ONLY viable Special-based Bug-type in existence right now, and my favorite character in the anime, Jessie, got a Yanmega that was brilliantly revealed to be FEMALE a few months after she caught the thing. I would put Yanmega higher, but its design is just a little too cold for my tastes.

304. Linoone Image
(National Dex: 264; Generation: III)
Whereas Zigzagoon's design was an eyesore, Linoone looks very sleek and aerodynamic, supporting both its origin as a line-based Pokemon and as one that can learn Extremespeed. While I originally didn't like Linoone very much since it seemed like EVERYBODY in Hoenn had Zigzagoon and/or Linoone, plus they both seemed way more common than Bidoof ever was, the design grew on me after my own Zigzagoon evolved. Any Pokemon with Pick Up is helpful and awesome in-game, and Linoone is actually pretty useful for an early-game Pokemon due to its usable Attack and Speed in conjunction with the ability to run Belly Drum once and trigger berry consumption with its new Generation IV ability, Gluttony. It's hard to tell what exactly Linoone is supposed to be, but it looks like a weasel, which I enjoy. I'd like it more, but I've never seen the damn thing depicted as happy, not even in the anime or the TCG where it only has a sparse few cards, so it's a bit too serious for my tastes.

303. Lotad Image
(National Dex: 270; Generation: III)
Before Ruby and Sapphire were released, my favorite type was Water and my internet BFF's favorite type was Grass, so we were both hoping that the new games would give us a Grass/Water-type Pokemon for the win. As RS drew closer, we found out that the games indeed have one and we waited patiently to see... some stupid little blue blob with a green coin on its head? Needless to say we were not particularly thrilled by this revelation. However, I watched the RS anime and she didn't, so I got to see Brock's doofy Lotad in action. It was kind of a replacement for Psyduck as far as being a dopey Pokemon goes, but it was cute enough for what it was, and it grew on me to the point that I used it in the games and fell in love with Lotad's awesome final evolution, Ludicolo. And even though I didn't realize it at the time, Lotad is a lilly pad Pokemon and that's a great idea for its typing, which I've always adored. Bonus points for managing to work in aspects of the Japanese Kappa to the family as well. While Lotad isn't one of my all-time favorites, it is a solid Pokemon.

302. Numel Image
(National Dex: 322; Generation: III)
The Numel family were one of the most creative lines introduced in Generation III in my opinion. If you think about it, deserts are known for two things: heat (i.e. the Fire-type) and sand (i.e. the Ground-type) and GameFreak, in a stroke of logic foreign to this series, combined the two aspects into an animal that travels AROUND IN the desert: the camel. Numel's line introduced a fresh species as well as a fresh type combination to the series and, while Fire/Ground isn't the best type ever, it could be a hell of a lot worse, as demonstrated by poor Magcargo. While Numel is cute enough in its own right due to its doofiness, it is a bit bland for a first stage and one of the few who actually gets cuter after it evolves. Still, it was pretty cute in both the anime and a few of its TCG cards over the years, so Numel overall is a solid Pokemon with a refreshingly logical design. (Although, why is its back green again?)

301. West Gastrodon Image and 300. East Gastrodon Image
(National Dex: 423; Generation: IV)
I originally wasn't going to include East Gastrodon in this update (as shown in the hint in my previous post), since I usually do ten Pokemon per update, but I realized I'd be essentially posting the same thing twice if I split the two into separate entries... so here you go, a bonus eleventh Pokemon. As I said with the Shellos updates before, I don't really like how Diamond and Pearl handled the idea of geography-based Pokemon, since having Pokemon that differ THIS drastically in the SAME region is kind of strange and unbelievable to me. And, much like Shellos and Hippowdon, it was extremely annoying to have a bunch of idiots make posts in the Sinnoh forum asking about whether or not they had a "shiny Gastrodon because it's blue instead of pink!" Seriously, people, checking the Picdex or any other Pokemon fansite with sprites out there isn't any harder to do than making a new thread that shows how lazy you are.

As I said in a previous update, I would have preferred if Shellos and Gastrodon were introduced in Generation III, as originally intended, with one of the designs and then have the second set introduced in Sinnoh. The idea is handled even more poorly for Gastrodon than it was for Shellos, since the only thing that distinguishes the two other than their color are a couple of generic frills here and there. Still, either Gastrodon feels like a better realized design than either Shellos, as they actually look like sea slugs now whereas either Shellos is a generic blob. While less cute than the other Water/Ground-types, it's decent enough and I do like it, but I do wish Gamefreak distinguished it more from Quagsire in stats and movepool, especially because both were in the Sinnoh Dex. You can tell they don't really favor the thing considering they dropped GASTRODON from Cynthia's roster in Platinum rather than MILOTIC, the only non-Generation IV Pokemon in her original DP team. Ouch. Anyway, I slightly prefer East Gastrodon over West Gastrodon because I like blue more than pink.

Because I slipped the second Gastrodon into this update, the next one will only have nine entries. Highlight to view spoiler.
-A Baby Pokemon.
-Two Bug-types. They both have a secondary type.
-Another middle evolution from a Starter line.
-An early-game Pokemon from each of the even-numbered Generations.

2 Kanto, 3 Johto, no Hoenn and 4 Sinnoh.

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Tue Jul 13, 2010 4:06 pm
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bidoof is cute and all, just not what i'd pick to put in my team. a bidoof hasn't broken any of my chains before (i think) so no major hate here.... "bidoofus" is actually a really dumb name that i've never heard before. somehow, this article has made me feel sympathetic towards bidoof.....
gastrodons, on the other hand, i think should've been lower on the list. they are more annoying, imo, due to the fact that they are found all over the place, and are almost as common as bidoof. at least that one is contained to a few separate routes + the safari zone. but i just can't seem to get away from gastrodons..... and their stupid pre-evos, shellos. of course, it's not like those facts matter much anyways, but that's what i dislike about them (and i've never trained one, so i won't attack any of those aspects)

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Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:16 pm
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Personally I had more chains broken by those crickets then the beavers... and the crickets had a aweful cry that was ear piercing at times... and personally I like most the rodent pokemon shines, shiny rattatta being my 1st soul silver shiny and being one of the few who claim a Ever Stone as I dont particularly like shiny ratticate's color as its too close to the normal...

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:05 am
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I'm pretty sure that Kabuto was based off of a horse shoe crab, not a clam.

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 6:46 am
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The clam shell statement wasn't meant to be literal.

Update Title: "That's (Almost) Racist!," referring to #298.

299. Shinx Image
(National Dex: 403; Generation: IV)
Yes, I fully admit to being predictable: Shinx is my favorite member of its family because it's the cutest, whereas Luxio is awkward and Luxray is wasted potential. When I first saw Shinx, I thought it was an adorable lion cub and caught it on the spot, not expecting it to evolve into battle failure on the level of Luxray. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and Luxray's lack of battle prowess has hindered my appreciation for the family as a whole. And while Shinx is cute, cuteness can only take a design so far, especially when it's based on an animal that I have zero personal connection with like a lion. I mean, lion cubs are cute and everything but it's not like I've ever seen one in person or had one as a pet. Although, I do have to ask why Shinx has Intimidate as an ability? Starly's EVOLUTIONS have Intimidate but Starly doesn't, so what's with Shinx having it? Seriously, it's about as intimidating as a stuffed animal. So Shinx is a sweet little guy but his evolutions are lame and he hasn't made an impression in any of the other media for me to put him higher in the rankings.

298. Chingling Image
(National Dex: 433; Generation: IV)
Out of all of the Baby Pokemon introduced in Generation IV, Chingling was probably the most unnecessary because its evolution Chimecho was the least useful of any Pokemon that got a new Baby form. Still, I can't really hate on Chingling TOO much when it's actually pretty cute, unlike Bonsly for example, and it works great in Christmas- or special occasion-themed imagery. Something about the name "Chingling" never sat well with me though; I get where it's coming from since the Pokemon is a bell and everything, but at the same time it's one letter away from being a racist name for an exceptionally tiny Chinese person. It's also a bit nonsensical that a tin bell is a pure Psychic-type, rather than a dual Steel-type, and that it evolves into a wind chime, but that's just how this series is sometimes. Overall, Chingling is cute but nothing to get excited over.

297. Machop Image
(National Dex: 66; Generation: I)
Most first stage Pokemon are meant to be cute but Machop, since it's a Fighting-type, isn't. Since it's a type that is the antithesis of cute, Machop has to try to bring coolness but it doesn't stand a chance against its evolutions; as such, it's a design that's plucky but just alright. Although, what are those lines that look like a rib cage on Machop's chest? Emaciation is so not a good look for a fighter. Machop's beta name was "Kara-Tee" and, even though I'd like the Fighting-type Pokemon to incorporate specific fighting styles more... I'm so glad they changed that. Machop stands out the most to me for the TCG, in which Base Machop was used in Haymaker decks because it can do 20 damage on round one. Have I mentioned lately that it's funny how different the TCG is today? Other than that, Machop didn't have many notable appearances in the anime or the video games, except for how it'll be making a building for that poor idiot in Vermilion City until the end of time. Machop is another fine Pokemon who gets better with evolution.

296. Monferno Image
(National Dex: 391; Generation: IV)
It's kind of odd that I like Monferno the most of the Sinnoh Starter middle evolutions when I like its family's other stages the least. Compared to most middle evolutions, and especially the horrible others from the Sinnoh Starter lines, Monferno works as a transitional stage. It doesn't look like just a bigger Chimchar or a smaller Infernape, and it even can be cute, although that's mostly in the anime or when it's jumping up and down in its Platinum animation. The only thing I don't get is the random blue marking on its head... pair that with the yellow bands on its arms and the white collar of fur and it looks a bit like a circus performer. Ash also had Monferno for awhile in the anime but it didn't stick around for long since nobody cares about middle evolutions. Even though we've had monkey and Fire/Fighting-type Pokemon before, I still think Monferno feels fresh because it's not a ball of fur like Primeape and it's nothing like lame Combusken except in typing. A solid middle evolution.

295. Swinub Image
(National Dex: 220; Generation: II)
Swinub is a lot like Piloswine in that it can be extremely cute, especially in the anime or the TCG, but its sprites in the main video games tend to be boring and, like Chinchou, even a little bit on the dead side. Honestly, in just about all of Swinub's sprites, it's this nondescript little pile of fur that wears a permanent ¦o as if it were Paris Hilton saying "That's hot!" stuck on repeat. Anyway, Swinub was pretty forgettable before Generation IV brought us Mamoswine, as it only showed up in the Ice Path and didn't evolve into a very good battler. However, Piloswine got a shiny new evolution in DP and the family got some much-needed spotlight. Swinub was one of Dawn's Pokemon in the anime, where it liked to eat a lot but otherwise was pretty laid back and cute, serving as her answer to Ash's Charmander. Seriously, adorable. As I previous explained, I like Swinub's unique typing, that it's my favorite type (Ice) and that it can be very cute when it wants to be, but it wouldn't hurt for the artists to make the Pokemon more expressive in its game sprites.

294. Granbull Image
(National Dex: 210; Generation: II)
As far as final evolutions for canine families go in this series, Granbull just doesn't have any "wow" factor to it. Despite being the evolution of a frilly pink bulldog fairy, however, it does manage to look intimidating and cool in a bland sort of way, although it always struck me as odd that they gave Heal Bell to a Pokemon who had lackluster Defenses and was mainly an attacker. Granbull is pretty much a blank state all-around, as it's not too common in the video games, it only had one major appearance in the anime when the aforementioned recurring Snubbull evolved and returned to her mansion, and it has only a sparse few cards because the TCG really seems to hate the Johto Pokemon for some reason. It has six cards total, a third of them being Sugimori's stock art, and none of them are done by the TCG's best artists. Lame. It's actually kind of weird to see the evolution of a Pokemon who played such a big role in promoting Generation II just swept under the rug to the extent that Granbull is, but I still like the thing since I used one in Diamond after Snubbull swarmed. It has a decent movepool, good Attack and Intimidate is always useful, so it's not awful.

293. Hoothoot Image
(National Dex: 163; Generation: II)
Hoothoot is one of the first Johto Pokemon that I recall seeing, and it really excited me because it was a reminder that GS were going to have real-world time patterns. Hoothoot therefore filled two roles: in addition to being Johto's answer to the Pidgey archetype, it also demonstrated the new day/night feature relatively early into the game because it was a nocturnal Pokemon. Naturally, I caught Hoothoot the first time I played a Silver ROM and, also naturally, I found out it that sucked and stopped using it. However, owls rock, so I never resented Hoothoot for being common and sucky because I liked its real-life basis. In addition to one awesome evolution in the form of Noctowl, Hoothoot's line is also a bit odd in that it has good Special Defense, HP and Psychic powers, distinguishing the family from the typical early birds; I'm all for Pokemon breaking out of their stereotypes. What prevents me from ranking Hoothoot higher, besides the "it loses oomph because it's common" effect, is that it looks a little mechanical thanks to its red clock-inspired eyes. Still, owls are awesome.

292. Steel Wormadam Image
(National Dex: 413; Generation: IV)
If you recall, I slammed Mothim for feeling too much like a rehash and, to an extent, the same holds true for the Wormadam forms since we already had a bagworm Pokemon. However, this is only really apparent for the Steel Wormadam because she is a Bug/Steel-type bagworm and... oh yeah, so is Forretress. Surely they could have planned this one a bit better. Still, Steel Wormadam doesn't feel like as much of a bad retread because there's enough of a difference to distinguish the two and, if you backed me against a wall, I'd even say Steel Wormadam was a more authentic looking bagworm than her predecessor. Though, I don't really get why Steel Wormadam wears a "Trash Cloak" according to the games and the TCG when she evolves inside of buildings and her puffy pink cloak therefore looks more like foam insulation than anything. Anyway, Steel Wormadam is cuter than her Ground form and I tend to like female-only Pokemon, but she's a bit of a retread and not great in battle, plus she's the "balanced" i.e. sucky member of her trio, so she goes out here.

291. Beedrill Image
(National Dex: 15; Generation: I)
When I was obsessed with neglected Pokemon, I became a fan of Beedrill and added it to my team because nobody else liked it. Unfortunately, even though it got a nice Special Defense buff and could amusingly poison Steel-types with Twineedle in Generation II, Beedrill was a typical early-game Bug-type who failed in battles. I liked Beedrill a lot, but I never had the same connection with it that I did with Butterfree, partially because it was less common in Blue, and not in Yellow at all, and also because it was an antagonistic Pokemon in the anime, usually being the ominous swarming Pokemon du jour in forests. Even when I caught both worms and went through the hell of evolving their cocoon stages, only one usually stuck around while the other got shoved in the PC because it was less cute and helpful. (Side note: I remember playing through GS once with a Butterfree named "Sugar" and a Beedrill named "Sully," coming from the word insulin, because I'm a diabetic nerd.) Even though I've cooled toward Beedrill over the years and it could have better Attack and Speed for a damn bee, it does have a place in my nostalgic heart.

Back to at least ten entries for the next update. Might do eleven for the next four updates so I can end evenly on midpoint (#256). Highlight to view spoiler.
-Four Normal-types altogether.
-A female-only species.
-Two Bug-types, plus a Pokemon in the Bug egg group.
-Two Pokemon who can have the Intimidate ability.

Two Kanto and four Johto and Hoenn. No Sinnoh.

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:46 pm
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So as not to incur the wrath of any Psypokians who are from China, I don't know what the word you're referring to is, but I'm also not going to ask.

Very interesting. I've been meaning to say for a while that it seems strange how you rank some lower, middle evolutions higher than their evolved counterparts. Especially because at the beginning of this thread, you mentioned how it was a "battle". I hope that didn't necessarily pit actual Pokemon against each other in the games, because that's not the only media you're using to reference.

Also, because you go for "cute" very often, this is somewhat justified as well. I think mine (should I do them) would look incredibly different!

AEPMT :mrgreen: ;) 8-)

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Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:58 pm
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