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Pokemon Master
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This is my secound story here, for those of you who read The Eighth Sea I will finish it, I just want a bit more practice in writing fiction, that particular story is very important to me and I want to get it right. Thus, this (lol alliteration + consonance).

Anyway, this story in itself is just a test run for the full version, I'm experimenting with this idea and I want to see where it goes. I may post the full version here when I'm done (but that won't be for a while), I may not.

Please don't debate with me about the content, I often write things in my work that I don't agree with, I'm not seriously attacking any one system of government or religion or etc. I'm just putting it there to set up the plot and get you thinking.

Here's the prologue, I'll get Chapter One out as soon as I become certain where I want to take this.


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Prologue:

Utopia, for all of existence mankind had striven to reach this goal. Tried again and again to create a perfect society. A perfect world. Bliss.

Heaven.

Although we do not acknowledge it, every nation has tried it or tried to destroy others attempts. Communism, theocracy and democracy were all created with the intent of creating a perfect world, and all were eventually destroyed. Even democracy, although with the United States of America's version seemed victorious over the others. The entire world embraced this system, attracted by the wealth and prosperity that it seemed to bring. But the wealth turned out to be caused by the fallings of others, not by the victories of the system. The world began to wonder where their money was, where their compensation for abandoning their entire culture and way of life was. But there was none, and suddenly, the stocks crashed, wars erupted, and we were being driven into ruin.

Eventually, a philosopher by the name of John Whitney discovered the problem. For even though democracy seemed like the best choice to an ordinary person, it's flaw was just that, the ordinary person. Whitney realized that the ordinary person is an emotional idiot, very little sense for logical choices, and by that emotion he is stirred up into a frenzy that can be easily magnified by his peers; throwing any logic to the birds. Whitney discovered that, for all intents and purposes, democracy was a system run by a mob, and worse yet, a mob that had no idea what it was doing. Of course, Whitney also knew that he was not the first to figure this out, for throughout history the mob had been easily manipulated by those who had logical thought and little emotion. Unfortunately these people were also prone to selfishness, and as a result, they became what their opposition would call evil. Evil and idiocy, two things that are well known to destroy countries, and democracy had both. Democracy was a good idea, it lasted for a good three hundred years in the US, but in the end, man will destroy himself. John Whitney posted this in the Sunday e-paper.

The readers were staggered by Whitney's findings, and (as he predicted they would at the end of his paper) they denied it, they debated it, even though it was perfectly logical. "How can one of God's (/Allah's/Zeus's/etc...) creatures, especially man, be self destructive and evil? God loves the world! You must be wrong, democracy cannot be the cause of all this! Human kind as a whole cannot be the cause! God will guide the world so that heaven is on earth! How can we, the dominant species of the world, be self-destructive if that is God's plan?" "Easy," Whitney always replied, "there is no God."

The debate raged and eventually involved the entire world, many agreed with Whitney, more did not. It took thirty years of this debate, during which time we continued to tear each other apart and descend into even deeper ruin, before people began to realize the truth. Man is man's largest enemy and the current system that had proven all other systems of government wrong, was also wrong. However, it took another ten years before Whitney found a way solve the problem, to fix the world. John Whitney wrote a two minute presentation, and on his sixty-third birthday--exactly fifty years after he published his world-changing paper--he then broad-casted it to every person in the world by use of an atmospheric projector. It was just a bunch of images, but they were designed to appeal to the sub-conscious. Subliminal messages of a sort, except they were not hidden. In the end, every person understood it, every person obeyed it. Within in a year, we had achieved an Utopian government.

Soon, pure bliss began to become a given and some began to experiment with pain. They began to explore the most intimate mechanics of it. It's makeup of peace, anger, love and hate. Eventually and startlingly enough; they found pain and bliss to be the same thing; they were both feelings that stopped us from feeling nothing. Now the world is two groups, those who prefer pleasure, and those who prefer pain. Those who like pleasure say that it has better quality of feeling, those who prefer pain say that it is easier to obtain and thus better quantity. But both agree that as long as it prevents one from feeling nothing, it's good.

But what about life?

What about death?

And so the line dims...



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Please tell me what you think! Suggestions about where to take it from here in story form are welcome too.

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Last edited by dunsparce on Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:43 am
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dude this is awsome!!! :D amazing. the good grammer and the amazing plot that unlike a few stories here, goes somewhere. I'm your number one fan here man, go for it. :mrgreen:

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A flea and fly in a flue, Were imprisoned so what could they do? Said the flea let us fly. Said the fly let us flee. So they flew through a flaw in the flue.


Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:15 pm
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Pokemon Master
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Er...Thanks, but that wasn't actually the plot, it was the setting. The plot will be revealed in time (as soon as I decide, fully, what it will be XD). Anyway, part one of chapter one, this is where the story starts.


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Chapter One


Rane White opened his eyes, and stared. What is this above his head? Oh yeah, a roof. And what is this below it? Of course, a pillow. With those two identifications in his mind he immediately able to conclude that he existed and so remember all twenty years of his life; his birth, his graduation and finally his going to sleep last night. Realizing who and what he was, Rane sat up and got out of bed—it seemed like the best thing to do, he had a job after all.

To say a person had a “job” anymore is a bit misleading, because no one really “worked”. Almost everything was automated for a long time; the only real professions left were attorneys, government officials, teachers and robot maintenance men. Most people could just laze around or play (or do things in which they needed the attorneys), which made us content, for a while. But we eventually realized that a conscious action to help the community was a psychological need, and made people happier. And so, whenever someone wanted to do something, the robot was taken out and the human put in its place.

Rane worked as a college professor, he liked teaching young fourteen and fifteen year-olds the intricacies of psychology. He was well known for his engaging and hands-on classes. Once, the day previously in fact, he got a random person from the street and told the man that he was trying to prove conditioning.
Then Rane went through a demonstration where a mouse was given a mild shock while facing a blue wall, and played the sound of a squeaking female mouse when facing a red wall; this was repeated ten times. Then the mouse was given a choice between a path with blue walls and a path with red walls, the mouse—as expected—chose the red path.
After this Rane presented two buttons to the man; one button was blue and mildly shocked the man, the other one was red and made a passage from Beethoven’s eighth symphony play. The man was made to press both buttons and then was shown two additional buttons, he pressed both, and again, blue shocked him while red played a piece of music.
This was repeated ten times.
Then on the final set of buttons the man was told to choose a button, he chose blue, it shocked him. Then, with a smile on his lips, the man said “It looks like I’ve proven that man is smarter than some simple animal when it comes to conditioning.”
“No,” Rane replied, “you’ve proven that man is self-destructive.”

Today, Rane was working with the effects of other people on a logical train of thought. To do this he showed a picture of a person before she became famous and what fame later did to her (it was some ancient celebrity named Critney Lances or something like that). The before showed a vibrant, attractive, young woman, the after showed a bald psychotic drug-addict. He went on with further examples of rock stars.
Finally, he played a video clip of a disgruntled crowed, it had been shown terrible act after terrible act, next up: a singer. The singer starts off, and he’s not bad, but the crowed is booing, he continues and the crowed is practically screaming for him to get off the stage.
Rane stops the clip,
“Now, observe how—even though this singer is quite good—the crowd as a group is automatically slanted towards a negative outlook, the people as individuals are drawn to only observe the bad qualities and, even if the notice something good, they feel intimidated and do not express their opinion. But now, watch what happens…”
And he lets the clip play.
The crowd is in a frenzy, exploding with their displeasure. Then, there’s a pause; a break in the music…and a person can be heard clapping. Then the crowd actually starts listening, and slowly, with rising intensity, people are cheering.

Suddenly the whole throng is roaring with support and encouragement and standing, not for protest, but for assent. Rane paused the clip again.
“One person,” he rewound back to the break where the tide shifted and went over it again, “one person cause the entire crowd to change completely. One person cheered,” He went over the section again, “And every person, every single one, followed suit. Now, look at these people,” he went back to the before and after slides, “and see where public pressure truly leads. We are so focused on each other, and what others think that we cannot think for ourselves. If one person believes something, that’s more than enough reason for you to believe it too. Human see, human do.”

On that dramatic note, exactly as he had intended, the bell rang and the student began rustling around to get their stuff and leave, then the filed past him and out the door. One student however, paused to talk to Rane.
“You know Mr. White,” So formal, even at his age, what a thing this world is coming to, “you could relate yesterday’s lecture and today’s to the recent rise in popularity of Paining.” Perceptive also, he’d have to be less obvious in his appeals to the subconscious.
“You could.” Rane replied, neither giving nor taking anything from the assumption. The teen smiled, his suspicions practically confirmed,
“Have you ever tried Paining?”
“Yes” Rane replied, “it certainly is invigorating, but I prefer Blissing. It’s a bit more…” Rane struggled to find the right word, “modern. After all, it seems our primitive ancestors were very prone to Paining.” He said, using a common joke about relating improper “cutting” to Paining.
“Now Mr. White,” the student said seriously, apparently he hadn’t heard this joke before, “you know that what we do is different, we do it just for the pain, they did it for some myths about losing weight, causing pleasure and destroying themselves, they didn’t adopt the right mindset, and they didn’t get healed right after like we do.”
Apparently this child was swept along with the craze as well. Rane smiled to console the defensive teenager, but he really was interested in one point the child made.
“Hmm…Maybe your right,” still playing with him a bit, “but what was that you said about mindset? Do you really think that makes a difference?” Rane was curious, when he tried it he had felt exasperated with himself at giving in to this fad, almost like mob psychology.
“Oh yes,” the boy said, suddenly animated, “you have to really feel it racing up your arm and let go of any animal instinct you have, realize that it’s just strong electrical signals, no different than what you get from mating; and you find that it really wires you, but more than any bliss pill could.”
Rane was generally interested now, “Huh, I never thought about it that way before.” The boy smiled again.
“And that is why you don’t understand. Just keep what I said in mind and try it again.” The boy turned and walked away at that, calling over his shoulder, “Good day Mr. White!” and hurrying off to join his friends.
Well, I guess it can’t hurt,” thought Rane as he got ready to leave, “maybe I will try it again. Mindset, psychology, hmmm…” Rane mused as he walked back into the harsh sunlight.

End of Chapter 1 Part 1




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Here's the video of the singer in the story, yes it really happened: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xZWwYyRB8M

Theme song :wink: (and inspiration) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otZdiO0q6pU

Don't worry, it may seem dull at first, but it will get better.

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Sun Jul 27, 2008 6:45 am
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I saw that performance on t.v. not to long ago. Yeah i meant settings :oops: (i'm such a noob) I also noticed a reference to britney. awsome start :D

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A flea and fly in a flue, Were imprisoned so what could they do? Said the flea let us fly. Said the fly let us flee. So they flew through a flaw in the flue.


Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:34 am
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Haha! Love the refernce to Britney, she really was good before JFed...

And it's an amazing story...

And when you refer to Paining...do you mean cutting? As in emo???

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Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:35 am
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