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 Pokémon: Searching the Darkness [PG-13] 
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Dragon Tamer
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Author's note: It's been a long time since i lost wrote a fan fiction, Or visited Psypokes, Well. I have to say that this fan fiction means I'm back. Though I'm not recognized by other forum members.
But i hope you enjoy!


Quote:

The night was dark, And the moon was not in sight. Shouting and screaming could be heard everywhere in the mountains when the people of Celestic town hurried back, Carrying fainted or sleeping pokémon that struggled in their sleep. Families gathered and hid, The younger generations panicked, And only one person in this usually quiet town was not worried. A small girl named Emily, At the age of five.
She embraced the moonless night and usually sneaked out at night and walked far from home. To wait for him to appear.
Even this little girl wasn’t known among many, A group of people could not accept this behavior of this child; Her family.

“Where’s Emily!?” Her mother shouted through the crowd, Along with her was a twelve year old boy and his father.
She slammed people aside and noticed the bridges ahead, Perhaps she was close by? Her mother hoped. Prayed for her girl to come to her, But that was could not be fulfilled. Full of bitterness, And the need of the satisfaction on finding who was behind this incident.
She turned to her husband, Full with bitterness and even hate.

“You let her out, Didn’t you!? Can’t you learn!? She’s five for god’s sake! And she can fall into the Void any time he wishes!” She shouted at him and got even more desperate as the minutes passed.
The boy watched his parent fight and accuse each other. Each word and accusion hurt him only more.

He couldn’t stand this. The situation was only getting worse, And He was perhaps getting closer by the seconds. He knew he was the only one who was actually going to help. So away he ran into the deep‘Celestic Fog’ that surrounded the town in the mountains.
Moments passed, And the tension was getting worse, He couldn’t stand to imagine his sister trapped or worse: Dead. Minutes passed, And then what it seemed to be hours to the boy as he crossed bridges and deeper into the fog.

“Emily!? Where are you!?” He shouted into what seemed to be only the fog and the mountains.
He only heard the echo of his voice crossing the mountains. No answer.
The boy kept on running and crossing every bridge he could find, Only finding dead ends or another bridge.

“Emily! Please come home to us! We miss you!” He shouted once again. Yet, No answer. He fell on his knees and tried to think and not to panic. He was lost, Completely lost. Suddenly he heard something. A giggle. He stood up and ran toward the sound of his sister.
He completely froze. His sister was found, Yes. But he had also found him. The blue, Cold eye of Darkrai stared at him and the girl held tightly onto his large claw.

“E-Emily.. Get away.. F-From this beast..” He barely stuttered with a shaky voice, But she did not move, She completely ignored his pleading.

“He’s my friend..” She said a little offended. She looked at him and held onto his hand tighter.

“You stupid brat! Get away from him!” He commanded, Even if it would hurt and perhaps scare her, It was for her own good.
Without thinking or considering the consequences of this idea, He immediately rammed at the Dark pokémon to seperate it from his sister. But there was no turning back. The pokémon slammed him off the bridge. Down a large gulch.
The boy couldn’t feel anything. He just smiled to himself and considered his life perfect. Even though it was short, And kind of bittersweet. Even so, He saddened when he remembered the last words he said to his sister.. It seemed to echo around his head the twenty-six seconds it took for him to fall down. And meet his sudden death.

18 years later...

“My, My, Aren’t you a little too young to be Rowan’s Investigator?” An elderly woman said to a fourteen year old girl.

“Does that matter, Ma’am? It’s my duty to report any news on the Lunar Pokémon.” The girl said offended.

“Christee!” A slightly older guy grabbed onto her shoulder.

“I apologize for my sister, Ma’am.” He said as he let go off his sister’s shoulder and walked in front of her.

“I am Daniel and this is Christee, We work for Professor Rowan. May I ask since you are the elder of Celestic town, And the former Champions grandmother, Is there a chance you can tell us of Dark—“

“Shh! Not so loud!” The elderly woman shushed him down before he finished his question.

“We do not speak of his name here! Or of the events! If this is all you are asking me about, Then it is not worth it speaking!” She snapped back and turned around from the duo and walked slowly back to her home.

“Ma’am! This is important! Lifes of pokémon may be at stake in the future! Are you going to walk inside again and turn thousands of pokémon down!? That’s selfish!” Christee shouted with rising anger. Daniel didn’t hesitate to hold her when he saw that glimpse in her eyes that clearly stated she was about to make a bad mistake. He immediately grabbed her shoulders and held her close to him.

“Let go of me, Daniel!” She snapped at Daniel as he held onto her shoulders.

“Stop it, Christee, Try to learn that some people have their secrets and promises!” He said as he held uncomfortably tight onto her shoulders. The elderly woman turned around to face Christee and Daniel and stared at the both of them with a cold gaze. She turned quickly around and returned to the lodge.

“Professor Rowan is going to hear about this.” Daniel said coldly at Christee.

“Your temper is getting on my nerves. Get a grip onto yourself or you’re going to have to leave the team.” He continued and let go off her shoulders. Christee didn’t make a move or sound, every single time he said these words. Being an investigator was important to her and her pride. Not many kids on her age got to participate in such a grand adventure.
Daniel looked at Christee as he was about to leave.

“Christee.—“

“Leave me alone Daniel!” She snapped back at him before he could make up a single word of apology.

“Look, I’m sorry. Can we discuss this sometime later—“ He sighed as his phone rang and interrupted him once again.
He picked it up and noticed the caller ID. He answered with a small smirk.
“Yes? Yes, Sir. We’ll be on our way home.” He replied to the caller and shut the phone after this short conversation.

“Christee, The professor has something important to show us.”



Last edited by Hreffie on Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:13 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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When I saw the title, I thought to myself "Oh, look, there is another Mystery Dungeon fic other than mine!" seeing as the title has a striking resemblance to PMD2: Explorers of Darkness, but oh well, I was wrong, sorry.

At least this story looks very promising, the first part really got me with Emiliy, who had run away and the discussion hurting this kid emotionally... such a striking scene indeed, that I even felt bad for him... which didn't get any better when he fell down the gulch.

By the by, I feel like something's missing here:


Look wrote:
He immediately [...] the Dark pokémon to separate it from his sister.


He immediately what...? I think the verb is missing there, unless I just didn't get something.

Other than that, I think this story will get big and exciting, but only time will tell. I look forward to reading your next addition, looks like this twosome of investigatours will engage in something huge.

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Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:13 pm
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Dragon Tamer
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AABM wrote:
When I saw the title, I thought to myself "Oh, look, there is another Mystery Dungeon fic other than mine!" seeing as the title has a striking resemblance to PMD2: Explorers of Darkness, but oh well, I was wrong, sorry.

At least this story looks very promising, the first part really got me with Emiliy, who had run away and the discussion hurting this kid emotionally... such a striking scene indeed, that I even felt bad for him... which didn't get any better when he fell down the gulch.

By the by, I feel like something's missing here:


Look wrote:
He immediately [...] the Dark pokémon to separate it from his sister.


He immediately what...? I think the verb is missing there, unless I just didn't get something.

Other than that, I think this story will get big and exciting, but only time will tell. I look forward to reading your next addition, looks like this twosome of investigatours will engage in something huge.



Thanks, About the missing part, You're right 'bout it. I accidentally deleted a sentence when editing.
But i really appreciate your reply, Seeing as I've really improved since my last fan fic.
I'll edit it, So you'll see the whole picture.


Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:04 pm
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Ace Trainer
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You're biting off more than you can chew.

I can see the potential here, but you have yet to master the basics.

Your grammar is adequate and the story is structured and flows well, you have really mastered fragmentation which is a boastable feat. Using fragments has sustained the mysterious feel of the story and set up a nice theme.

What you need to work on is word placement and sentence structuring. It may just be your spelling so try using a word processor to type your story and hitting ti with spellcheck.

Read the 6th and 7th Harry Potter books if you haven't yet and see how Rowling pieces her sentences together. Alternatively, have a look at some of Crimson's works, her poetry may even inspire you to work your plot over, not that it needs any work.

A good effort from a beginner, and I am seriously impressed.

Hope you stay on the boards,

J

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Sat Apr 26, 2008 11:04 pm
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Dragon Tamer
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I really appreciate your criticism, And i can see what you mean. I'm madly trying to improve my sentences, Sometimes i don't know when to start and when to stop. >_<
Well, Second chapter is up. Perhaps a little more detail-ish at part and more gruesome.

Quote:
“I expect you had a nice trip to Celestic Town?” Professor Rowan said sharply as if he knew that they failed.
“The Elder must have been helpful on your quest.” He continued, Christee couldn’t help but to feel guilty.
“Actually.. Sir.” Christee said with hesitation.
“The elder of Celestic town refused to tell us a bit of lore, History or events of Darkrai communicating with humans in Sinnoh.” Christee continued with a little hesitation and guilt.

“It doesn’t matter now. I have hired an Investigator to replace you both.” He said sharply.
The both of them just stared at him and couldn’t come up with a word.
“Well, Isn’t that just great! After two months of helping you! Then you come with that brilliant idea of deserting us with all the information we gave you!” Christee snapped back at him, Turning around and leaving the laboratory without listening to any words coming from the professor.

“Stupid, Arrogant..” She muttered to herself as she left the town to the local lake: Lake Verity. After few minutes of running or walking in the woods. It was so full of life and it was often a little noisy. But when walking fast toward the lake, The cries of the pokémon could silence nearly immediately if you notice soon enough.
Christee sat down and removed her shoes and socks to take a small footbath in the chilly water, Since it often calmed her. She looked around and smiled to herself. Not even one human was in sight, Or could be heard. She was completely isolated from stupid professors or annoying brothers.

She looked at the lake that seemed to be deserted. Perhaps she could take a small bath, After all, Twinleaf town wasn’t that far away, That meant her aunt wasn’t either.
Christee threw her outdoor clothes, That included a heavy jacket, mechanical suit and hat. All that was left was a T-shirt, shorts and a swimmer suit underneath the shirt and shorts. She took a deep breath and jumped into the water. In a mere two seconds later she was already squirming on the surface.

“Cold! Cold! Cold!” She wanted to shout, It never seemed that cold, But after some swimming it would be perfect for swimming and relaxing. Perhaps few squirtles would join her to play.
Sadly, They didn’t. Everything seemed too quiet now. Christee couldn’t help but to be disappointed. But that wouldn’t last long as she looked at the cave nearby. She always wanted to check it out, And no one was in sight.

Christee swam to the island, Ready for action!
As she got to the island, She couldn’t help but to notice a pokéball. The trainer was probably inside the cave. But with excitement and a little bravery, The creepy cave seems like a playground.
The young Investigator entered the cave, And couldn’t help but to notice a Gothic looking girl. Probably in her young twenty’s.

“Hey! What are you doing here!? Only local people may enter!” She shouted at the trainer strictly, To her frustration the trainer didn’t exactly care about rules of the Locals.

“Are you deaf!?” She shouted once again. This time, The gothic girl turned around. Unlike Christee, The girl was completely calm.
“My, My. Aren’t you an annoying brat.” She replied and looked at Christee with disgust.

“Speak for yourself! Aren’t you a little too old for costumes!? And Halloween is in October. Not May!” Christee snapped back.

“Go to your dark corner and cry, Emo kid!” She continued, This time Christee’s famous temper actually had a serious consequences.

“Respect your elders, Brat!” The Gothic girl shouted in frustration. She threw two duskballs out and out came two, Big, Menacing pokémon. A Rypherior and a Flareon.

Christee laughed out, Even though incredibly scared, Christee was way too stubborn to back off and admit she lost this argument.

“So what are you going to do!? Attack my pokémon!? Hah! I don’t even have pokémon!” Christee said a little proud of herself. But these words should have been undone.

“Well, Well. Someone has a little big mouth, No?” The girl let out a smirk, The Flareon nodded at her and stepped forward.

“Flareon! Lend me your power! Flamethrower!” The girl shouted and pointed at Christee. This time, Christee was really frightened, She couldn’t move because of the Rypherior, But she could neither stay still, Or else she would be one fried Investigator.

The large flames shattered out of the Flareon’s mouth, First a measly spark, But that was all he needed to fire up a great flame.
Christee fell on her knees and covered her eyes. Everything seemed to go slow motion, Nothing was yet happening, Perhaps the end was supposed to be like this.

Christee remembered those childhood memories when Daniel got his first pokémon. A measly street Torchic that was found nearly dead. Everyone made fun of Daniel and his Torchic of how weak they both were. Including Christee herself. She seemed to be dragged into this familiar memory all over again. Even though she was just a mere bystander.

“Hah! What is this stupid chicken going to do now!?” A twelve year old boy shouted with his laughing friends all around him. He had picked the Torchic up by it’s legs, Making it vulnerable and weak.

“Leave him alone!” A small boy shouted with tears running down his face, The torchic trying to peck the hand of the boy with no success.
The boy chuckled and literally threw the bird to his mate. Daniel watched terrified, Immobilized in desperation. The boys kicked sand in the torchic’s eyes, Stomped on it’s legs, Spit on it, Do whatever harm they could to see the pokémon suffer.

Suddenly a scream boomed through the playground. Daniel had thrown a sharp, heavy rock in the boy’s face, The forehead bleeding heavily and so did his eyes, Blinding the boy and injuring him greatly. But these boys were not letting a nine year old kid beat up their friend. They also picked up everything heavy, for example, heavy rocks, trash and sharp pebbles. Surely they had the lead of this fight. They were twelve going on thirteen, And on top of that, They were skilled baseball players.
But Daniel had not given up yet. He rammed at the boys even if the rocks hit him harder. The torchic had it’s both legs wounded, It was hopeless for it to run. Daniel didn't hesitate to throw himself for the torchic, He landed a little harshly, But managed to pick up the torchic without harming it. Unfortunately Daniel had always been clumsy. When he stood up to hit and run, He had to trip on a little pebble. He managed to save the torchic, But he felt something within him crack. The boys used this opportunity to kick him while Daniel was down, And the rocks flew on his face from a very short distance, Too.
After around fifteen minutes of beating him up, They finally left. And Christee got enough bravery in herself to search for help.

No one seemed to listen or pay attention to her. Except a man in his fifty’s with a long jacket, And a briefcase. The torchic was sent to a pokécenter, And Daniel had to undergo few minor surgeries.
Daniel broke his nose, Two ribs, Got his head injured badly, And temporarily blinded his right eye. Even so, It was worth it. A lifelong friendship with a Torchic was what he got. The Torchic grew stronger over the years under his care, And finally evolved into a powerful Blaziken that had won many gym badges for Daniel.

Suddenly she was dragged away from this memory and wonders..

“Empoleon! Hydro Pump!” A familiar voice thundered through the flames that didn’t even touch Christee at all.
She opened her eyes and noticed a tall man in a long jacket with a suitcase.
She couldn’t believe it, She simply couldn’t believe it. The man that removed them from their duty was protecting her from great harm.

“Tina! What in the shocking thunder are you doing!?” The Professor’s voice boomed, Christee didn’t move a muscle or make a sound.
“So that Gothic girl is named Tina..” Christee thought to herself while looking on the floor to look neutral.

Tina seemed angry. Furious of his interruption. Was she really that sadistic toward other people?

“Professor, I can assure you.—“

“You are not getting away with this one! We’ll discuss this in my office. Away you go now!” He snapped back at her. Without being told twice Tina immediately left the cave.
Professor Rowan looked at Christee. But not with a sympathetic look. No. He looked sharply and it seemed like he could shoot ice beam out of his eyes.

“Don’t excuse yourself. With that big mouth and attitude I’m not surprised of this happening. Don’t cross this girl ever again, And mark my words, Lass.” He said sharply, Almost demanding. However, Christee ignored it.

“Don’t blame m—“

“Oh! But I am in fact blaming you!” He interrupted with a razor sharp voice. He did not care for excuses, And was indeed not going to listen to them.” But his face seemed to soften a little, Even though he was mad at both of the girls.

“However. Attacking you with her Flareon was incredibly dangerous and unfair toward you and your honour.” He said as he looked at the Empoleon, It’s face seemed just as sharp as Rowan’s.

“This being has been treated badly, She’s miserable.” He said walking toward it. It didn’t respond to his actions, But stood completely still, Christee didn’t see how it was so badly treated, It was strong, And it seemed trained well.

“Don’t let the look fool you, Christee. All trainers should know that Empoleons, Even piplups are very proud and tend to hide their emotions.” He said patting the Empoleon’s left wing, Christee looked a little closer. She was shocked, A little terrified. Burn marks all over it, Bruises, Scars, You name it. It was incredible how that creature could live with it’s head tall.

“I want you to keep her, Christee. Even if she looks hateful and perhaps ugly to most hardcore trainers, I know there lies a kind and caring personality. Pokémons aren’t robots that follow all orders, You know.” He said quietly, Even a little sad. But how couldn’t he? This Empoleon had been abused by it’s trainer. Pushed far from it’s possible limits.

“Will you take care of Tsunami?”

“Tsunami?” Christee replied. As soon as she let the word out she immediately knew what he meant. So the Empoleon’s name was Tsunami.

“Yes.” He said and raised his voice a little, To his usual sharp and proud tone.”

Christee shined. He trusted her for a full grown pokémon! And she wasn’t his employee anymore. But that didn’t matter.. Since Christee was four years old, She had always known the Professor, But she didn’t expect him to do this for her.

Few minutes passed. Rowan let Christee alone in the cave with the Empoleon. Strangely, They had something in common.
But what could it possibly be..? Only time will tell.


Fri May 02, 2008 5:04 pm
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Dragon Tamer
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Aside from what has already been said, I don't have much to say. However, I don't think that you should put it in a quote box. It makes it harder to read, and easier to forget where you were.

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Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:41 pm
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I really enjoyed it, especialy the part where Enily's brother dies. It was realy emotional -well done

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Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:37 am
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Ace Trainer
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I like it, keep writing :D

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Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:45 pm
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