ok this story is a bit confusing throughout the thing and some things might not make any sense at all (if you want to ask obout those ask)
Do your best to make it make sense...
General grammar/style/spelling corrections
Word replacement, misplacement or addition
To be discussed in further depth
Remove or unnecessary
[Creation, 000:000, 0-0000-0000]
When it all began there was havoc and chaos, like an eternal nightmare.Time niether moved nor did space travel. There was nothing alive or dead, Nothing moved or spoke. except the creator*insert space*of demise. It had been created itself and in doing so this dimension. This great being could manipulate everything and anything, except the portal that had been there from before the creator of demise.
Eons passed while the dimension while it was consumed by havoc. Then one time, 8 wizards came into being and took a look at the destruction and chaos; that was the dimens[color=red]iion and [/color]they took their staffs and called to the creator.
"Selermont zo thrento dne agarim renix!" they cried and the dimension began to change. From the darkest edges of the vast and evil space came light. It peirced the darkness and then consumed the creator. Only after finally when the light faded away, did its screaming stop.
everything was gone except two things. the portal and a supernova that was in the exact position of the dead creator. The wizards again raised their staffs again and looked towards the supernova; and called,
*delete enter/return*"Theore mithfil laborand agarim delosrenix!" and Then came 8 elements were created, each was controlled by one wizard: light, *insert space*darkness, *insert space*fire, *insert space*water, *insert space*ice, earth, air, and energy became the eternal elements.
The true creation had finally come.
Honestly, I read this shortly after your first post. I had printed it out and edited it in school when I had little else to do. What I found, was a mess of gramatical, style, and spelling issues. Most, if not all, of this should have been prevented with proofreading, but one doesn't need to be a genius to tell that you didn't proofread. Some of the rules, especially some grammatical and spelling ones, are more advanced, and depending on your age, or if this is not your first language, I wouldn't expect you to know them. Most are not under that category though. Let's start with those first shall we?
Remember to capitalize the first letter of every sentence. Now I know one of the letters that looks like the beginning of a sentence isn't capitalized.
"Selermont zo thrento dne agarim renix!" they cried and the dimension began to change.
I can't explain it well, but it's not incorrect. Simply put, because the dialogue does not end in a period it can be passed off as merely a part of a sentence instead of its own free standing one.
You also forgot a lot of enters/returns and spaces. Type in a word processor, the program should catch silly/lazy mistakes like that. Another common mistake you had were poor word choices. The story did not flow and made little sense in some places. There were a lot of unnecessary words, phrases and sentences as well.
It had been created itself and in doing so this dimension.
I had colored this in violet so I could discuss this in further detail. How did a being create itself before it had a place to reside? I have a solution that, I feel, makes more sense.
It had been created after this dimension.
Numbers below one hundred should be typed out. So, "8" should be "eight," this includes the other "8" I didn't mark in your prologue.
everything was gone except two things. the portal and a supernova that was in the exact position of the dead creator.
I have a whole bunch of issues with this sentence. First I'm going to show you how I redid this before I get into each detail. I'll color what I've changed in yellow.
Everything was gone save for two things: the portal and a supernova. The supernova stood where the creator had been.
Again there are your common issues with capitalization and word choice. Then, there's a more advanced rule you probably don't understand. The colon, ":," is used as a way to introduce a list or a definition. Yes, you use commas to list things sometimes, but this case is a bit different. Colons aren't used often and there rules are a bit vague so people tend to avoid them.
I haven't gone over your first chapter yet. Although, I'm a bit distressed that you haven't posted all
of yoru prologue prior to your first chapter...It just doesn't make much sense. Regardless, I've printed the chapter out and will tell you sooner rather than later.
Link changed to my library.