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 The origin of the doom pokemon 
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Ace Trainer
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it all started when i found a pokemon wich was hurt so bad it was close to dieing... i tryed to take care of it... i tryed several items on the pokemon healing potions full heals and full restores but nothing helped... all hope was lost... when i touched the pokemon his pain went directly in to my mind... i could feel the pain this pokemon suffered by a fierce battler who wouldnt stop... and allmost destroyed the pokemon.

The sycther ( the one in my avatar im talking about) had shown me a vision of the fierce battler killing his previous trainer :shock: when i wanted to catch the sycther for my own it went psycho its eyes started to glare red and his colour went dark.. black/grey and he started to change( like the same sequence as an evolution) it started to change in a horrific being his tail went a blade and his body covered in steel platings... the sytcher it once where was no longer exsisting ... i came to realize that the reason this pokemon changed is it Was doomed.. with no trainer to heal its wounds or giv him love..

the minute i tryed catching the scyther with my poke ball.. the poke ball started to change 2 ... it was the same horrific vision as the sytcher .... this balls are now know as doomballs and are for doompokemon only) ... the doom pokemon are extremely rare bcuzz of the causes it may have to change to the doomed pokemon they are.. the doom Pokemon are also not friendly ... they battle with the anger hate and all the other things that causes the doom-evolution... they literally kill the oppents pokemon....

the amount of doom pokemon has increased in the world of pokemon because some trainers dont take good care or other trainers do really hard things to them .. this is the fact that the world of pokemon aint full of roses and butterflys but is like this world full of missery and hate also... but you will never see a doomed pokemon if you are a good caring and loving trainer..

Doompokemon only battle those who are no good trainers who dont love care their Pokemon... they are the horrific sign for justice these doompokemon are also legendary they keep the world from making more doom Pokemon.

and thats why i PokeDmolisher...A.K.A the king of the doomed will try to help my doomsytcher to change the world in to a better place... i hope this would giv a good explanation and background story on the loved doompoke's

- PDM -


Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:48 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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I'm sorry to say you're not starting off too well...You, clearly, haven't bothered to use proper grammar (I can tell by all of the "i" and elipses). That is a bad thing. "I" and "i" are not the same thing. Get out of the habit of typing as if they are because that doesn't cut it here. You may be able to get away with that in other forums, but here it's not an option.

As for the appearance of the Scyther, not "sycther" or "sytcher," should be described and not referenced to a picture. Don't use emoticons, ever. In general chat they're fine, but whenever you're writing or role-playing it's a huge "no-no." And have you ever heard that "less is more?" This is the case of all your elipses. There are...twenty-two and an average on two per line. By the way, no pun was intended by my use of an elipse.

There are a bunch of spelling errors and typos. Somehow, you've managed to capitalize "a.k.a." even though you really shouldn't. Your story doesn't even end in a period!

Type your story in a word processor or something with spell/grammar check. While it's not perfect it would definitly help you. And, once again, someone's made the dreaded "setting prologue." People, I'm telling you, don't do it. It kills a story before it even starts!

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Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:07 am
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Ace Trainer
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yeah umm... i didnt know all of that... and the stroy didnt end because it still is happening as we speak..

and i ... kinda came up with this real quick ... sorry but some peopole asked for a explanation of the doom pokemon ...


Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:19 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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I'm aware that it didn't end, I meant that the chapter, or prologue, hadn't ended with any punctuation.

As for the explanation, you should reveal everything over time. A summary is great if you're telling someone about your story, but that's not what you're doing so it doesn't work.

You also didn't read the rules. You're supposed to have written three chapters before posting. There are stickies and announcements for a reason.

Want to know a way to instantly begin improving? Practice proper grammar and style issues by typing that way at all times. Even whenever you're talking like we are now. You'd be surprised by how much your technical skills with improve.

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Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:43 am
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Ace Trainer
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well im not a writer i dont write allot or anything

its just that... its like a diary those chatpers where from the pokeD's diary of his dsicovery


Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:46 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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Quite honestly, I don't care about your excuses. If you don't want me to nag you about your grammar then you'll start trying to use it properly. We don't expect perfection, for some English isn't their native language, we expect a decent attempt. I can tell what that is just by glancing at a story.

I'm not a professional writer, but you don't see me making an excuse out of it. In this forum, a decent attempt of grammar is always expected, no matter the circumstance.

Please stop trying to defend your laziness, because that's really all it is. You've gotten into the lazy habit of typing like a n00b, that's what it is, and that's not how it works. You see, the issue will keep being harped on until you get it or leave.

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Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:57 am
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Ace Trainer
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yeah okay i am lazy... your right ..

and im not making up excuses...

and whatever the story is there so im finished here...


Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:01 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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You are making excuses and now you're in a little huff. Haven't you ever seen the "edit" button? It's there so you can make corections to your post.

Would you do me one huge favor before you go? Fall off your high horse and don't bother getting back up. It'd do wonders for everyone.

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Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:09 pm
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Ace Trainer
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lol i think your missing the point that i dont care about the proper grammer and all that things...

so i say it again im done... here i will never b seen on the fan fics' im more an fan artist ..

and what the hell is all that high horse things?

really i dont care allot about proper grammer


Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:15 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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I understood, because believe it or not you're not the first n00b we've had here. You apparanetly don't care much for spelling either...High horse is a figure of speech meaning you think you'e all that and that you can't improve because you're the best. Bye, enjoy the Fan art forum!

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Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:29 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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Crimson wrote:
Bye, enjoy the Fan art forum!

Great, that forum just keeps getting better. ;-;

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Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:49 pm
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difgjnbogifjh;nblhj

~Locked

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Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:54 pm
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