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 Dance of Evil 

How's my new book?
0/5 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
1/5 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
2/5 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
3/5 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
4/5 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
5/5 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 2

 Dance of Evil 
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Psychic Trainer
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 6:47 am
Posts: 62
Location: England
Hiya me again. Hey less of the moaning! I aint that bad! LOL. I got rid of my other other Road to Destiny due to lack of interest by you and me. I thought i would make a more grown-up kinda book but with the same child imagination i seem to have kept since i was 3. Pokemon will still be the main focus here. But due to popular demand i have changed Lance's name. But i will have as a Master of Diversity, rather than copying my Dragon Team from D/P...

So this is completely new... Cmon lets here some yays!!!

Enjoy!


Sat Sep 08, 2007 12:22 pm
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Psychic Trainer
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 6:47 am
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Location: England
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As part of my Grown-up/kiddy kinda attitude i thought i would add a Prolgue first. But it turned more like A Note from the Author. So thats what it is...

Note from the Author
Not many people think of the Devil and Pokemon. How wrong they are. Where there is Heaven there is Hell. This book isn’t about the Devil but about Evil and what it can do to even the nicest people. Cyrus, from Pearl and Diamond, was described as a nice and quiet boy. Look what happened to him…
I hope you can all learn from this book. Or at least read it properly. But I want you to get lost in the book as though you are a side-liner watching the action, the tears, the romance… Please enjoy this Book!
Dragon Champion


Sat Sep 08, 2007 12:26 pm
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Ace Trainer
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Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:45 pm
Posts: 382
Location: Searching for the place all the Abra teleport to. I'm going to crash their party.
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Um, I hope you're not planning on publishing a Pokemon book. You would get sued faster than you could say "sorry".

Your story sounds like a good idea, but uh........ what exactly is it about?

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Sat Sep 08, 2007 5:53 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
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I have some issues, as always, here...

1] Stop making a new thread where the first post is a complete waste of time before making another post where you actually post the chapter. It's against the rules, and annoying. Yes, the double-posting rule is not followed to a "T" here but we believe in using your brain with it. If enough time has passed for comments then we don't mind. What you've done is not the case.

2] You can make a novel-length fan-fiction, but you can't write a "book" without written permission from the copyright owner(s). And novel-length is 50,000 words. I assure you that if your "author's note" is a prelude to the rest of it, will take a lot of chapters. My current book is over 20 pages and is only a little over 11,000 words when I only count the completed chapters.

3] I'm sorry but a "grown-up kinda book but with the same child imagination" just doesn't make sense. It really doesn't work, and if it were it would be by someone far more experienced that uses a child like tone but has deep and adult underlying themes.

4] I already explained to you that this isn't a very active forum. So, the "lack" of popularity and interest is a horrible reason to stop writing a story.

5] Don't tell people what you're planning to do with your character's team. It ruins a part of the story.

6] Don't reference other games, pretend they don't exist while you're writing. Pretend that you're the one coming up with everything and that this is the first time the world has ever read it.

7] Don't point out that the reader is reading a book or story unless it's purposely done so and will be carried through the rest of the story. Good reasons include making this a memoir or journal.

8] Your author's note sends mixed messages. It starts out like a prolgue before switching to an author's note. After I read it, I found myself feeling like you had just tacked on the end because you felt like it should be longer.

9] Spend some more time reading stories by Ghost Writer, The Obsidian Wolf, Psyches, AABM, and DNA. They're some of the forum's best writers and you can learn a lot by reading good work. Also, check out some of the stickies like "Writing Tips," "Fanfics Discussion Thread," "The Decent Fic Guide," and if you want some advice on critiquing other people's work check out "The Reader's Guide to Reading."

Now I know that's a lot of issues, don't be too upset this is normal. I love your enthusiasm I just want you to learn and grow (as cheesy as it sounds).

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Sat Sep 08, 2007 6:36 pm
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Psychic Trainer
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 6:47 am
Posts: 62
Location: England
Post 
... Don'y worry you won't have to hunt down my sotires anymore. I'm going. I can't wirte anything here without someone gnawing on my back about this and that. I'm sure theres a forum somewhere that dosn't gnaw here and gnaw there (whats with the gnaw word today?)

I appreciate you hunting down and killing my books before you even read the first chapter. It's nice to know i have... supporters? You won't be seeing me again on this forum.

So what ban me? Shoot me? Blow me up with dynamite? And thats just what you did to my book. I'd hate to see what you'd do to me...

Anyway so long farewell. I may pop on occasionally to check my messages and to reply to them. But that is all.

Good bye hunters and other people who hate my every word and pixel creations and pixel guts. Now this is dragging on a bit now even for my standards so i'll finish.


Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:42 am
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Fails at life
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... Reminds me... many months ago....

Reminds me of me. Nice hissy fit dude.


Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:50 am
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Pokemon Ranger
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Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
Post 
Hold it, this is what I do. I check people's stories for things I think need immediate help or advice for future stories. All of which you've ignored. Yes, I'm not nice, but I'm civil. I recognize that the way I crtique is hard to take sometimes, however you need to be able to take different kinds of criticsm. What did you expect comming here? Immediate praise from all, telling you that you're great? If that were the case I have a news flash for you; yes, we share stories for praise (it feels good don't get me wrong), but we also share our writing for advice. If I recall, I never said anything you wrote was horrible. I never said you should stop. I brought to your attention different things, all of which you over reacted to and are saying I was basically attacking you. Treecko will tell you that I was not doing anything of the sort this time.

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Sun Sep 09, 2007 8:41 am
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