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 Johto Journeys (Chapter 6.1) 
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Gym Leader
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Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 6:28 pm
Posts: 733
Location: Toronto
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Wow that was great too, easily said because of the great detail of the battle, as well as other interesting details within violet.
A few unclear thigs that could use some clearing up... How did the car's tire suddenly deflate and how would Jay's soda flip out and hit Max in the head?

Also, as for not deciding to put long chapters in.... that was actually pretty long compared to other fan fics and should be a chapter in itself.. good stuff

Oh and the protangonists lost... Just Like I wanted to see in your story :D

Theyve got themselves in a bit of a pickle now, interesting stuff is coming up, I cant wait... I also hope you write about the contest....


Last edited by Cherrygrove on Sun Aug 26, 2007 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Aug 25, 2007 3:51 pm
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Fails at life
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Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 12:07 pm
Posts: 1130
Location: The Forums official moronic epic fail.
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I can't really figure out anything wrong.


Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:26 am
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Psychic Trainer
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 6:47 am
Posts: 62
Location: England
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Very good! I think i have said this before to you birdknight but you can't have enough very good's!


Thu Aug 30, 2007 3:58 am
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Pokemon Master
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Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2007 11:24 am
Posts: 1152
Location: IN THE EMOTIONLESS TRAWLING FERVOR'S OF MY INSANE MIND.
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I don't always use the rating system, I don't know why you have a problem with it, don't other people use the rating system here?

You really excelled in flowing the details together this part, but the details them self where a bit sketchy. Such as how Jay and Trixie got out of the fast-food restaurant. You have a good storyline with this part, but I think you could have put a little more in the ending of it. I also didn't like this one as much because Trixie didn't slap anybody :( . Overall, great but not your best.

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Thu Aug 30, 2007 3:55 pm
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Psychic Trainer
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Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 11:51 pm
Posts: 57
Location: Cinnabar Island
Nice

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Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:57 am
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Ace Trainer
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:48 pm
Posts: 357
Location: Australia
I like this one. It doesn't bite as much as most of the stories in this forum.

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Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:33 am
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Dragon Tamer
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Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:55 pm
Posts: 101
Location: Thanks to Obsidian for the avatar!
i felt hooked like a mule to the job: wants to stop, but couldnt. i wanted to see if it got any better. the only interesting thing: the profiles. hmm... i think ill use the profiles for mine....


Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:44 pm
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