Took me a while to nail this chapter....

Chapter 5
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Luke awoke to the sound of knocking on his door, to which he jumped up and gave a small gasp. After leaping out of bed and rushing to get dressed, he gave a deep sigh, looking at the door as an obstacle. He stopped in front of the door, closing his eyes and summoning the courage to fling it open. After a moment of preparation, he reached forward and opened the door, looking up to see his visitor.

As he expected, the one who was at his door was Kristin, back for her pokemon. Her clothes seemed a little tattered, and her shiny neat hair from earlier seemed a little dirtied and messy.

Finally, some action.

Ok, three things:

1. Oops

2. I like it how it is :/

3. It's half-assumed magikarp's carried, although in rerospect yes it would have been better to say it.

Here it is, chapter 6. I'm sorry for the lateness, but it took me a while to get right, and it took me a good time to get ahold of my beta reader, who was sick for a little while.

Chapter 6
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Darkness surrounded Luke as he fell, clouding his vision of everything; all he felt or saw was the sensation of falling; and it was a scary one.

As he fell, his mind felt as if it was going as black as the darkness around him, and he entered a kind of subconscious state. The two personas Luke had been shifting between seemed to almost appear in his mind, although not physically- he could only

Not too shabby, B-man. Only thing I really see wrong here is that, in the second to last paragraph, where you talk about Kenshin doing the wrong move on purpose, you spelled "just" jus.

Other than that, it was great.

Thanks for the review! Also...

I'm posting this on every forum in which TFS is updated, as well as editing it into the first post in every forum. Throughout my posting of the story various grammar mistakes have and will be found and altered; for the sake of simplicity the final version of every chapter will be found here.

I'll go back over old chapters once in a while here to edit and alter grammar and structure mistakes, and overall if you're new to the story or plan to read over old chapters again, the given link is the 'official' compiling of all of the most up-to-date versions of each chapter. Feel free to post reviews there in addition to or instead of at this forum, and please feel more than welcome to point out every grammar mistake you can there so that it can be fixed. I'm not always going to catch every single one...

I do like the personification of Luke's dark side via Silver.

Yes, this took forever. However, I've got the series in order now and things are looking up.

Chapter 7
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As it gave another odd-sounding yell Kenshin leapt forward again with its sword at the ready, but it was easily repelled just as it had been before. The battle had extended for a little while, but with each exchange the difference between scyther and Kenshin grew larger; scyther benefited from the commands of its trainer as well as a higher level in power- it

Wow. That ruled. The whole thing rules. but your'e kinda late for the new chapter.

hello?

People have a life outside of their stories and PsyPoke. Perhaps not much of one depending on the person but still some semblence of existence. And there is no such thing as 'being late for a new chapter'. It's the writer who makes the rules not the readers, unless of course the writer is dealing with a publishing house but that's an entirely different situation.

I think he forgot that he posted his fanfic here. If you check that site out that's in his first post, the chapters go up to ten.

This was a very good fic!