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The Pokemon Trio
http://www.psypokes.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=30265
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Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon May 21, 2012 6:12 pm ]
Post subject:  The Pokemon Trio

Discontinued discontinued

Author:  Haunted Water [ Mon May 21, 2012 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Very good grammar, compared to a few other things I see in here. I'm interested to see how this turns out!
Also, kudos to you for the Bidoof playing the bit of the outcasted pokemon role.
However, I recommend that you give a bit more exposition to characters. I am having trouble with finding out certain aspects of the characters.
But, continue on, its good!

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Tue May 22, 2012 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Not discontinued actually but I'm rewriting

Author:  Dragonair101 [ Wed May 30, 2012 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

This story is fabulous! I wish my writing flowed as well as yours does, it's interesting too! Please continue! :)

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

RIP man this is a WIP lmaO

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I'm actually crying at my old writing but hey it's cool

Author:  Haunted Water [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Very good! Although, I would like to point out that you said "Operation: Leave the House has just inaugarated". I think the word 'commenced' might work better. All in all, very good. I especially got a few lols out of the writing. Also, I like your avatar. I cant figure out why, though... :p

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I actually wish I could delete my own posts but I guess not

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

This is the longest of the chapters so far it seems, I'm impressed with little me

Author:  Dragonair101 [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I was trying very hard not to laugh from this. XD Very entertaining~

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I cannot believe my ex used to read this story, and that she commented below. That's crazy

Author:  Articuno63 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Well gee Nicki. Love yah too but honestly I was going to compliment you and you know I only speak the truth when critisizing ;)

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Oh puh-lease no you weren't! :roll:

Author:  Articuno63 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I have to warn you. In chapter two there are a few ... incorrectly written sentences. Some of them need a semi-colon or a coordinating conjunction to be written correctly. We don't want a comma splice now do we? Overall I thought it was well written and I like how it flows from one place to next. I've read some others and I found most of them choppy but yours seems more natural. I hope you stick with this story line. It could really turn into a fantastic story. One pointer though is that you might want to define your characters more and give us more of a sence of their thoughts. Their wants and desires. Maybe even their fears. Add a little more depth and this story will unfold magnificently.

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

How did she even know what those were back then? Coordinating conjunction? Comma splices? We were like five years old, we weren't learning how to use semicolons correctly yet.

Author:  Articuno63 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Well I'm glad to hear it becauseI really do think this story will unfold rather nicely so keep it up. ;)

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I'm still laughing actually. Coordination conjunction. I'll mash together a coordinating conjunction with a semi-colon and a comma splice. I'll call it, THE COLLEGE KILLER, because it'll kill my college career

Author:  Dragonair101 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Great! The only thing I can point out is that it is spelled "Zubat". And there are a couple typos here and there, but that doesn't really matter. Unless DNA reads this.



You write fabulously, please continue~ :)

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Whoops! I thought I spelt that wrong, thanks! I was too lazy to look it up, of course. :oops:

Author:  Haunted Water [ Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Dragonair101 wrote:
Unless DNA reads this.

OHSHI-
I just realized that
Dragonair101 wrote:
Unless DNA reads this
(Again, OHSHI-), I'm also the only guy who reads this, since D101, Evo44, and Articuno63 from what it seems, are all girls. Yay for me!
In the end of chapter 5, I kinda got confused as to why Ken lashed out, so try to emphasize on the other characters' thoughts. Other than that...
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YAYZIEZ!!!!!!11!!!1!!1one!!one!!
EDIT: Oh god, what have I done?!? My mind must have been on crack or something!
You people remind me of how Drago_girl and I talk sometimes.

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Wed Jun 27, 2012 6:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I came up with a backstory in like .02 seconds because, as a man who now has a load of practice under his belt, I'm good at developing all this crap now

Author:  James86134 [ Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

I love the story, I think it flows beautifully and is very poetic. I love the way you use pokemon in your metaphors and the only problem I have with it is I can't read more of it!

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 7:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Who is Clover?? There's a person named Clover in this chapter and I don't even remember them whoops

Author:  Evolutions44 [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

Haha sorry for the short short SHORT chapter guys, but I think it got the general point across about Clover, no?
Anyways I'm working on the next chapter so hopefully it'll be up WAY sooner than the last one

//crosses fingers


EDIT: My GOD it has been over three years since I've so much as touched this fic. Time to change that. I also have no idea who Clover is, still, and they probably won't stick in the story. WHOOPS

Author:  SoulSilverLyra [ Sat Oct 19, 2013 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Pokemon Trio

My favorite Pokèmon starters are Chikorita, Cyndaquil, and Totodile. They're from Johto.

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