It is currently Wed Oct 22, 2014 9:39 pm



Reply to topic  [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
 Pokémon - Oracle of Legends: Alpha's Beta [PG-13] 
Author Message
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: No, your eyes are not tricking you, it is I with my old Pokemon story. Albeit, I must warn you that everything you learned in the old version of this story is completely different. This is an upgraded/revamped/revived version of my never-ending story which was left rot away. So if you had read the old version, you´ll like this one better, and if you haven´t ever came accross this story before, stick arround.

By the by, enjoy the Prologue.


Quote:
Book One: Alpha's Beta


Inside the dim lightened room, silence reigns. It is already 5 O’clock in the morning in a yellow-coloured house in the middle of Newbark Town and Stanley Natsuke is still asleep in his room upstairs.

Clutched in the white sheets, the fifteen year old teenager faces a deep slumber inside his messy room. But suddenly, the loud annoying noise of the alarm breaks through the calm air, waking the kid.

The boy loosely extended his right arm out the bed and knocked the alarm clock off to get back to slumberland. Suddenly, the wooden door swung open quickly and his mother called “Hey honey! Good morning, now get up”.

“Pam, it’s too early, Utsugi is not up at this time” he softly mumbled from under the pillow.

The forty-three year slim woman wore a simple blue T-shirt and some brown trousers that matched with her dark brown hair, reminiscent to her son’s and some leather sandals. She walked to the bed and shove the sheet away saying “Stan, today’s the day. Besides, Utsugi is already here”

“Okay, I’ll be right down…” he barely called.

“Very well, but be quick about it” her voice clearly reached his ears through the pillow while the woman slid the beige curtains open, letting a shower of sunlight in. The woman left the room closing the door softly.

She walked down the stairs and headed left for the cream coloured kitchen, where she left the professor waiting.

“Heh, is he still asleep?” the middle-aged scientist smiled politely polishing his glasses.

“I woke him up, he’ll be here in a few minutes” she replied calmly while fetching some coffee for the two of them.

“Mrs. Natsuke, the situation is not the most adequate for someone to start a journey now” he said with an air of worry in each word while wearing his glasses again.

“I guess so, I’ve heard that the three Starter Pokémon aren’t ready now, yet I don’t know the details” her voice sounded pretty certain as she put the two light blue cups of coffee in the table, one for the professor and one for her.

“Actually, we’ve been experimenting with the three species of starters that are meant for a new trainer in Newbark, but that’s not the reason”

“In truth, the actual starters for beginners haven’t even hatched, I tell you this because you are a good friend, Pamela”

Meanwhile, Stanley was now off shower and wore a nice, long-sleeved white shirt under his brown sleeveless sweater with greyish red rhomboids in it, as well as his silver impermeable trousers, with his black wallet in it, and his dark blue running shoes, he wore his whitish bandana on his head and Flygon-googles on his forehead, as well as a number of wristbands in each hand.

Back in the kitchen, the woman asked Utsugi “What would be Stan’s first pokémon, then?” with a trace of curiosity in her voice.

“It wasn’t easy for me to find the correct species to start with, it was then when I found the Evolution pokémon, Eevee and thought it was but perfect” he smiled victoriously.

“You mean that fox-like cute thing? Stanley will like it for sure” she smiled happily.

“I hope so; it was a gift from professor Odamaki in Littleroot Town”

Back again upstairs, Stan finished packing off his Trapinch-like bag with his Pokégear, a yellow-coloured double-screened computer with a number different appliances that work with a stylus, a lantern, toothpaste and brush, spare plastic bags, a sleeping bag and an orange raincoat.

Off downstairs the kid went and greeted his mother and the professor with a warm, smiling “Good morning, everyone”

“Oh Good morning, Stan, you’re looking good” the woman smiled back.

“It’s a very special occasion, Pam” he smiled scratching his nape.

The kid smirked “Well, let’s get started, Utsugi” with a flare of excitement in his voice.

“Very well, kid…” the dirty blonde scientist said while searching something in the leather briefcase he carried.

He searched for some seconds and a grey, simple folder was produced in his hand, he put the folder in the table in front of the kid at his side and flipped it open, revealing a paper with the title of “Pokémon Trainer Licence”.

“You sign here, kid” the guy smiled at the boy with a pen in his hands and pointed the lower blank line.

“Ok” said the kid before signing the paper.

“You too, Pamela, right beside it” the scientist said while Stan was handing the pen to his mother in her right hand. Immediately, the two of them had signed the paper and everything was done.

“Ok, the moment you’ve been waiting for has come, Young Trainer” the guy smiled while searching again in his briefcase.

“Here, kid. Enjoy it!” he said with a red and white capsule-like ball in his hand.

Stanley picked it and said gratefully “Thanks, professor Utsugi”

“You should now take this signed paper to the Research Field, the principal facility of the Pokémon Meeting Federation, to have your Trainer ID Card” the professor explained.

“The Lab is in the north of Cherrygrove city, you can’t miss it” the woman said.

“Would you have breakfast before hitting the road?” she asked the kid, who answered with an energetic, happy nod.


Feedback is more than welcome.

- - -

Main Characters up until now:

Image , Image , Image.




From left to right: Stanley Natsuke, Yumi Baker, Calvin Tannor.

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:40 am, edited 10 times in total.



Mon Oct 08, 2007 12:17 pm
Profile
Bug Catcher
Bug Catcher

Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:28 am
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
Post 
hey :)

i read your story and i think its really great!!! can't wait for the next aprt if there's gunna be one!!! your sooo creative and imaginative. very original idea used


Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:31 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer´s Corner: Heh, yet again being praised by an original idea, very thank you, M&Mlover. I´m pleased that someone really enjoyed the prologue.

Tho, If you liked the prologue, I bring you the first chapter of this story for your delight, and fear not, for many many more creative ideas are sure to come.


Quote:
Ahh… Route 29, the crisp, windy plains that separates Newbark Town from Cherrygrove City and also the first step for any starter trainer from the former, and today’s case… Stanley’s case.

To the kid’s eye, there was this enormous jagged plains, framed by trees and imbued in fresh wild lawn bathed by the morning sun, that extended before him and shrunk even as far as his position could grant.

I shouldn’t get through this all alone” he thought while searching in his pocket.

#1: The Windings


A Pokéball was produced in his hand out of his pocket; it was his friend Utsugi’s gift to start his journey.

“Very well, go out now!” he shouted as he tossed the ball upwards. The red and white capsule soared the air up and released a burst of bluish white light, the beam of identical colour landed softly on the lawn and faded away, revealing this big eared, brown little creature.

As the boy caught the ball in his hand again, he looked down to his new companion before him and knelt down to have a closer look at the small animal and smiled “Hey there little fellow, good to meet you, my name is Stanley” he finished with his hand extended towards the Eevee.

The frowning stare the cub gave the kid was replaced with curious eyes as he smelled tenderly the kid’s hand, after a few sniffs, the cub chewed slightly the boy’s fingers and immediately licked them clear as a sign of friendship.

Stan could not hold a smile that shone in his face at the impetuous and curious way of creature his first pokémon was and got on his feet again, looking straight into the wild.

“And off Cherrygrove City we go now, my friend!” the boy gave his companion a friendly yet serious and certain word. Sure, this twosome went to hit the road forward, heading west through the wild and the whatnot this field had prepared for them.

Their tread was not a fast, careless one, but rather of a calmer rhythm, they had almost all the day before it got dark. It was surely one good idea, for they had more time to enjoy the simply nice weather of the field and, if carefully sought, any sporadic species of hidden pokémon of all sorts here and there.

Time slid quickly in a rant like this, and before they knew it, they were trapped under the shadow of a huge Oran Berry tree in the midst of the midday’s sunlight.

“Ungh, it doesn’t look like it, but when there’s no wind in this field, the temperature rockets up” the kid said whilst rubbing sweat off his bandana.

He took one look at his little friend and found that he was just sat there, panting in thirst. The boy, concerned about the small fellow, got on his feet and extended his arms towards the not so distant branches of the tree, he plucked one bunch of berries one after another and sat next to the Eevee again.

Stan put some of the round blue fruits before Eevee and advised him “Here, bite them carefully to squish their juice out before swallowing it” before having some himself.

The exhausted expression of Eevee’s was replaced with a joyous smile as he enjoyed having the blue, full of flavour fruits as well as calming his thirst.

Munching the bunch of berries, the kid took off his bandana and tied it up on Eevee’s head to make some resistance against sunlight. At the last gulp, Stan looked up and spotted an oversized bee with two stingers for hands amongst the leaves, held upon a near branch.

Hey, isn’t that a Beedrill?” he wondered as he got up and took one closer look beyond the branches, he saw the insect holding a berry but before flying away the small round fruit fell down on Stan’s forehead.

The bee looked down and spotted them both, and right away darted down furiously with a fierce stinger pointed forward like a spear.

Stan reacted rolling forward, dodging the Poison Jab attack which crashed on the ground.

“Eevee, quickly, Tackle it!” the boy shouted out the order.

The small fox-like creature dashed headlong on the Beedrill, knocking the sticked stinger away from the ground. The bee was now faltering a flight right into the woods at the distance.

Suddenly, countless of Beedrill appeared from the trees and the swarm surrounded the twosome in no time, they were beating their wings eagerly, winding up a terrible buzz that filled the air along with pressure.

Each of the flying monsters were flying all crazed and immediately, a bunch of them started attacking the little Eevee.

“Get off him now!” the boy could barely scream at the sight of his Eevee being furiously stabbed.

Oh Dear, if I don’t do something now, Eevee won’t make it after that!” Stan thought with his hands on his head out of stress.

Stan ran towards the siege and quickly shove Eevee out of it, the boy got the badly wounded creature in his arms and he began running away as fast as he could heading west. The swarm followed the kid but couldn’t gain on him.

After almost half an hour of running, the boy found the swarm stopped pursuing them, but that didn’t make things any better with a dying small creature in his hands, those Beedrill really pierced hard on the animal’s flesh, Eevee’s legs and belly were really bad.


Comments/Opinions/Feedback, anyone?.


Last edited by AABM on Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:51 pm
Profile
Psychic Trainer
Psychic Trainer
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 10:39 pm
Posts: 83
Location: United States, California, Los Angeles
Post 
NICE! You should make the next one fast! it's really good :D *thumbs up*

_________________
Image


Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:42 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Post 
It is nice to know that this story has still a second chance, and your posts are a good reason for me to definitely keep up with it, I'll try to not let this thrilling story to rot again.

Expect next installment for the beggining of this week, I still have to figure what are the most appropiate and weirder things that should happen in it. Don't you worry, I'm sure it will be of your liking, this first one was, and almost nothing happened.


Last edited by AABM on Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Oct 14, 2007 8:23 am
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: Well, I´ve got to Double Post to promote an update, but hey, this is worth it, this is the first more-than-one-part chapter you´re reading in this story, expect it to be good, because it is, I think...

Quote:
At the time when the sun was slowly setting on the west, the only thing that could’ve been heard was the soft noise of quick steps on the grass of Stanley’s rushing tread. The kid had no time to gasp or pant for air in the middle of his rushing, for the poison that was now running through the dying veins of Eevee’s has gotten even worse.

It has been quite some time now since Eevee’s got stabbed by that swarm of Beedrill, the poison meant truly something of concern since the very moment of the attack; yet, now that six painful hours have seeped away from sight, it is almost hopeless.

Nonetheless, the young Stanley is putting himself to an extreme as he darts through the wild towards the neighbour city of Cherrygrove with restless feet, racing heart, a serious case of a creature in his arms and sheer of worry, doubling in weight as the stars begin to appear in the nightfall.

#2: Lurking for Hope – Part I.


“Hang in there, my friend! Don’t leave me now!” the boy cried at the pale face of the little fellow.

The trace of night upon the sky was getting more and more visible; flourishing a flare of fear in the kid, but it was then when the kid’s worried eyes caught one small sign of hope, a shooting star in the sky soared a white line as Stan said “I’ll wish upon the star, I wish Eevee makes it after this!” putting all his faith on each word with watery eyes out of fear for Eevee’s health.

It was then, when almost all hope was lost, whilst Stan got the sight of the big red ‘P.C.’ that shone in vivid neon light above the grand white dome-shaped building that stood at the edge of the city, such beacon of hope drew a spirited smile on the kid’s face as he got closer to the entrance.

The glass door slid open, revealing the air conditioned ambience of a calm roomy space with a slight yellow-cream colour on the walls and a nice counter with a smiling, red-haired woman behind it, she wore a white nurse hat with a red cross on it, just like the cute egg-shaped pink creature right beside her.

The boy rushed towards the woman and told her between gasps for oxygen as he showed the bleeding creature in his arms “G’evening, nurse!... it’s Eevee!... he’s… he’s serious!”

“Oh Dear! It doesn’t look good at all!” she gasped in amazement as she was given the dying mammal in her arms.

“Poor thing, we’ll have you to the emergency room at once” the woman said with a worried frown in her eyes as she walked briskly towards a room on the back with a small white sign with the shape of a hypodermic needle above the doorway.

“Oh! Chansey!” she turned to call the attention of this cute pink Egg-like creature.

“You attend the next ten cases, this will take a while!” the red haired woman commanded the pink creature, who replied quickly with an obedient nod.

The woman got eye contact with the scared expression of Stanley’s, who asked “Joy, do… do you think he’ll make it? The poison--” with a worried intonation.

She cut him short “Don’t you worry, kid. I’ll do my best” with a flare of security in her voice before the woman disappeared behind the white doors of the emergency room.

Completely worn out, the brown-haired kid walked his way to the nearest table to have a seat and wore off his heavy Trapinch-looking bag on the floor at his side; he curled his arms on the cold surface of the table and placed his closed eyes on the corner with his right elbow.

The boy didn’t feel anything but a harsh pain in his legs for having a rushing, six-hour road and a hollow stomach… he indeed needed some rest, but how could he even gasp for air whilst his new companion was dying?

Shouldn’t I have had Eevee travel right beside me, but… it wasn’t my fault, was it?” Stan’s thoughts echoed inside his head as the sheer of worry inside him began to vanish.

It was just my own bad luck that crapped the entire afternoon, yet, Joy is one great doctor… she’ll heal Eevee for sure

Suddenly, a girly voice broke through the darkness “Pardon me, sir”.

The boy raised his head and his eyes met this brunette, wearing a white long-sleeved shirt underneath a blue blouse, a white skirt that ran down her knees and a light green scarf around her neck that matched with her sandals, she surely was a waitress, and the little notepad in her hands and a Menu card under her arm made it more obvious already.

“Shall you have something for dinner?” she asked kindly.

“Oh! Yes, please” the boy smiled as the woman handed him a Menu Card in response. He flipped it open and scrolled quickly around the fine plates, he could surely pay for any of them, but he was uneasy at the variety.

Stan looked up at the woman again and asked her “Umm… What do you suggest me?”.

The brunette looked at her notepad and flipped some pages up, replying “I may suggest you a nice piece of grill with French fries?”.

“Oh, one good choice, indeed” he smiled in response.

“Taillow meat or Torchic meat?”

“Hmm… Taillow, it’s tenderer and less spicy”

“Any drink?” she asked the kid as she wrote the order on her pad.

The boy flipped the next page and scrolled quickly, “Lemonade, please” he answered.

“Very well, it’ll be right here in a while” she replied before trotting her way to the kitchen.

Time ran slightly faster whilst watching all kinds of people and pokémon entering and exiting the building, and before he knew it, ten minutes has seeped away and the same young woman brought him his plate.

As she put the dish on the table, followed by the glass of lemonade, the boy had the sight of it with his very eyes, triggering the hunger which was inhibited by the kid’s pain in the legs.

It was a good time to have dinner, 7:45pm and the hungry Stanley is enjoying a fine plate, but in his mind lingers this sour worry about Eevee, which wouldn’t be raked away until he sees his friend healthy again.

Going on a trip this big will be tougher than it looked first; I believe I just have to be more careful next time. But for next time, I won’t be alone… and neither will my Eevee be”.


If you guys enjoyed this part, next will be of your liking, too, the only difference is that this part is calm and next one is terrifying and...you´ll see.

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:12 am, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:57 am
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: Wait, what in the world is happening?! Did this story come from the depths of isolation and forgetfulness to light again?! How is this possible?!

If refreshing your minds is needed, you still have the short prologue.


Quote:
#2: Lurking for Hope – Part II.


It was almost half an hour since the boy had dinner, paid for the food and exited the centre; he still had this ever present spicy worry about Eevee, who was kept in the centre to rest for the night.

Nurse Joy had told him back in the centre that Eevee got several critical Poison Jabs on his belly and legs, causing piercing severe wounds in his small body, but that he will be alright if he still wants to travel.

The teen was now browsing through the dark streets lighted by only some functioning streetlights and the stars above., he felt naked without his Eevee at his side, but he still had to deliver his application to the Research Field as his mother and professor Utsugi had told him to do, so he wouldn’t have to detour his way to Violet City in the morning, but only if he accomplishes this mission tonight.

He kept glancing around with a defeated expression and his hands in pockets, the sole streets grew short slowly and painfully every minute as his worry about Eevee increased more and more, he had the feeling that something bad was going to happen in any second, but why?

He didn’t understand the reason to feel this way, but he did indeed. Probably because he doesn’t know if Eevee really likes him at all and doesn’t want to travel along with him any more, for the swarm attack was rather his fault.

Before he could notice, the feel of concrete below his running shoes was gradually replaced with that of soft lawn and small rocks on the sandy earth, he just got past Cherry Grove City a while back and was now heading towards the Research Field, which looked like an all normal research facility – many-story gray building and a nice front yard.

The city-noises that took over the silence of the night was now coated by many dim distant noises of living creatures from the woods framing his track, he rose his gaze up upon the building and replaced his sad face with smile of relief.

The boy had a short stroll across the cobblestone of the front yard framed with lawn and trees as he felt relieved yet again because he wasn’t carrying with the burden of his heavy back pack, he left it in his rental room back in the centre. Stanley stepped in front of the entrance smoky dark sliding door and it opened for him.

The look of this cream-coloured room that extended before him remembered of a hospital with many Pokémon running to and fro along with white-outfit scientists in a never-ending energetic rhythm. He entered the place without faltering and approached towards the reception counter on his left and asked the light green-dressed woman in there a polite “Good evening, I am here for the Trainer Test”.

The woman nodded and replied “Greetings, the test is being held now in the first floor, room twenty-four, it will be on your left if you go up the stairs” she ended pointing discretely at the row of stairs on the other side of the room behind the kid.

After gazing at the woman’s indication, he turned back and thanked her with a bow and then he rushed towards the stairs. The numerous wooden steps of the stairs grew short in seconds as the spinning road ended with a row of wooden doors width across the same-cream room.

He darted towards the Door Twenty-four on his immediate left and opened it discretely, the door swung open slowly as this identical-coloured classroom extended before him with numerous vacant white long desks and others with few adolescents busy with the exam.

“Oh, seems here’s another soon-to-be trainer, huh?” a high pitched voice met him out of nowhere, he whipped to his right to meet the person and there was this woman in navy blue dress, glasses and a reddish ponytail who asked him first when he entered.

A slight blush bloomed in his surprised face as he asked “I’m sorry, is here where the exam is held?” whilst the door closed behind him.

She nodded in response and asked the boy “Do you have your paper?” before he handed the gray folder with his application in it to the woman.

“Thank you” she smiled before turning to face the brown wooden desk behind them and pointed it saying “Test and pen over there, good luck, boy”.

He nodded politely at the woman, walked towards the desk and picked a dark blue pen and one issue of this three-paged exam and proceeded to take his nearest seat to commence with the exam.

He knew that this exam was the reason why he has been studying for three months, now he’d have to prove his knowledge in these three pages of questions, fill-ins and whatnot. This test was supposedly to be held before anyone could have permission to have a Pokémon of his or her own, but since professor Utsugi worked here and was his friend, he granted Stan an Eevee.

Time seeped away slowly while filling the exam, the silence of the room was rather tormenting with this ever present tic-toc of the clock on the wall above the whiteboard in front of him, but he handled the situation with ease and before he could even notice, the test ran out of questions to fill, he had finished the test.

Time slipped quickly inside the facility, and at the end of the night he exited the building through the front sliding door with his flashing brand new white Trainer ID Card between his index and thumb, looking at it endearingly.

He stared at his photo absently while having a slow stroll out the front garden, he searched for his wallet in his pocket and filed it in triumphantly, he then put his black wallet away and raised his gaze up to the sky, his happy face was replaced with a terrified one as he notice a giant column of smoke hovering away from Cherry Grove City.


I REALLY hope this story goes on, if it does, and if I also get warm feedbacks and tips, this story may come to an end, you guys will see you'll like this very much, I promise...

Comments, anyone?

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Thu May 01, 2008 4:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:21 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: What seemed like more than two weeks of oblivion for this story was actually some time for me to develop the plot and improve my skills, but I won't tell you that, let this installment confirm it thoroughly.

Quote:
#2: Lurking for Hope – Part III.


Stanley felt the stress shock travelling down his spine as his eyes stared incredulously at the unworldly big smoke column of murky dark red floating adrift right from Cherry Grove City, engulfing the calm stars in the sky.

His feet dashed towards the city, presumably on fire. The trail of dirt darted backwards as so did the forest he cruised with a growing whining sounds of a commotion nearby, opening itself into the city’s main street.

He felt how the pupils of his eyes shrunk in astonishment at the emotional impact from the scene, he found himself standing amidst columns of pitch black scorched rubble, cars and buildings alight and people screaming and running around in distress.

From this miserable and disastrous position, the sky was of a crimson colour itself, it was an unknown hour in the late night, but this countless number of injured people lumped motionlessly on the ground with a growing puddle of red underneath them didn’t look right at all.

Suddenly, an explosion roared dimly in the distance over the horrendous weather of the city in flames, it came from the centre. As he turned to the source of the noise, the boy could not pronounce a word or scribble a thought in his head, he could just look how his legs rushed to the centre, running thought streets on fire and irremediable calamity.

What seemed like minutes and minutes of desperate running was actually a few seconds of heavy angst amongst screams and exploding cars, as he turned the corner to the left and put his gaze upon the hospital building remains, his worry about Eevee seemed to bite his heart thoroughly resulting in something like a 120volt shock throughout his spine.

Meanwhile, Pamela was at home, cooking some pasta for dinner. She had a hard day at the breeding centre today, so she made herself a fine plate and sat at the table, the T.V. was displaying her favourite soup opera, when the news flash was triggered suddenly, interrupting the habitual show.

“Breaking News! Cherrygrove City is under attack!” the voice of the female took over Pamela’s attention as she picked the remote control to raise the volume to roughly 49.

The female uttered again “The city in entirety is being victim of an unknown force onslaught! We have Jeremy, our first person eye, from the very scene”.

The handheld camera displaying the catastrophe hit Pamela like a truck rushing backwards, she could not believe the screen was flashing the hopeless townsfolk in calamity, buildings on fire, countless people being taken into ambulance trucks with severe wounds, massive fires escaping from firemen’s control, thorough chaos.

The woman in cerulean blouse felt her heart beating as if the world was about to implode, her anxiety levels rouse like foam in her blood as she rushed to the livingroom and picked the greenish videophone.

Holding the phone against her cheek, she felt how the stress manifested itself in the form of warm tears thanks to the rising voltage of the high-volume television and the videophone screen displaying “Contacting Stanley, please wait”.

Suddenly, her beloved one’s face appeared in the screen, “Honey! Honey, are you okay?! What’s going on!?” Pamela’s voice full of sheer worry.

Again, from the very scene, 83 and a half miles away (or so) from his home, Stan was found running for his life through what seemed plain wild plains in the middle of the night with an Eevee wrapped in white bandages around its belly and hind legs in his left hand and a double-screened Pokégear in his left one.

Not the 15 lbs of his Eevee or the even heavier Trapinch-like knapsack full of plenty of equipment meant a burden for the boy, he needed to run as fast as he could and not trip over, otherwise the pack of three Houndoom pursuing him would dispose of him in an instant.

“Pam! The Houndoom are gaining on me! I think I won’t make it!” his voice came from his very soul, triggering cold sweat and chipping teeth in his mother from the other side of the screen in his hand.

Suddenly, a loud voice came out of nowhere, calling “Alex! Use your Draco Meteor!” with a tone and tune very resembling to Stanley’s.

Subsequently, a giant, dark green dragonfly-like creature soared the sky with a melodious hissing wind as it flapped its rhomb-shaped green wings framed in orange and landed strongly slightly shaking the ground upon impact behind the running boy, who slowed and watched the scene incredulously with a dumbfounded Eevee in his left arm.

The monstrous creature expended it’s wings and uttered a high-pitched beastly roar as it’s shape began glowing in what seemed psychedelic crimson and celadon colours, suddenly, a shining orb of energy appeared like 15 miles above the monster and countless shooting stars sprayed from it, bombarding the pack of Houndoom and their shadowy owners to oblivion.

At this rate, everything appeared to lose sound into a mute world where this winged creature, with blue stripes scribbling rings on its greenish tail and ending in a fan fashion, had saved the boy and his Eevee’s life.

This dragon stopped glowing in vivid colours and turned to its back to make eye contact with the petrified boy, it smirked as if it was saying “Don’t mention it” in a kind way with these transparent orange covers shielding its eyes.

All of a sudden, a yellowish recalling laser engulfed the creature and retrieved it into its mysterious all-red ball, the boy turned to his back dumbfounded and found this black silhouette, holding the ball in his right hand, disappearing in a halo of white light that flashed the kid and the small brown creature in his left arm.

The world appeared to recover its sound again, and the slightly tanned kid, with Flygon-googles on his forehead, could not process what he just saw. Behind him, there were the remains of his pursuers smashed in a ravaged field, and in front of him, he found this orange gleaming little charm on a mysterious ancient-looking book.

Pamela was deprived of watching the scene because the double-screened appliance had ran out of battery, and about Stanley… well, he has his entire life to think and understand what happened tonight, but this small mysterious elliptic orange charm and this book attained a place in his knapsack and his mind for ever.


Okay, with this, this story's proved superior to the past version, because even though it's the same title, the plot has changed way too much.

Now I mind not getting critique or feedback, just your enjoying this is enough to me.

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Thu May 01, 2008 4:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Dec 29, 2007 1:06 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: More chapters for you and me! :P

I had some time to set up another installment here, I hope you enjoy this one!


Quote:
The sun was slowly sinking upon the western landscape, dying sky and earth in a vivid orange light that stretched the shadows of trees and rocks onto the land like the growing children of the night over the peaceful Newbark Town. Pamela, with her cerulean blouse, dark brown curly hair and forty-three years of short size with her, was staring at the western border with a bittersweet wishful desire of seeing her beloved one once again.

Two long weeks and a half have flown away since the very night her boy almost fell to death in the field that lies beyond the border she is watching expectantly right now, brewing a light tickling in her heart whenever she thought of this crazy tale her son told her about that night.

However, this woman didn’t believe him; she preferred to think that her son’s stress levels were so high that he began hallucinating that night… but that didn’t explain why half the Route 29 was smashed with violence…

#3: ZigZagonal Feelings.


Later, that same night, Stanley and Eevee had arrived home for dinner; the two of them had kindly offered themselves as volunteers to help reconstruct bit by bit the neighbour city that was raided violently by this still unknown organisation and almost wiped it entirely from the map with no apparent reason.

Both, boy and cub were but exhausted from one hard day of work, taking big and heavy things from here to there, assisting others, and such. This was not an actual work, but they chose it as the least they could offer to help people who have lost their homes.

At the table, both mother and child were enjoying some exquisite fried rice for dinner, these weren’t Pamela’s specialty, but Eevee seemed to enjoy it lots in his tiny dish beside the bowl of milk.

“Mom” the boy spoke with a slight air of modest petition in his voice as he finished his food.

He took off his whitish bandana by untying it from behind his head and made eye contact with his mother looking at him expectantly, “I’m done being a volunteer helper, I’m ready to set off tomorrow” he bolted his voice with serious low brows.

The lightly tanned teenager expected an angry retort from his mother, but Pamela handled his son’s comment, “I knew you would, I think you’ve done a great job by now in Cherry Grove - but… you need to start your actual journey, don’t you?” her voice came like music to his ears.

The woman noted Stanley’s eyes widening somewhat, but she smiled in response “That’s why I asked a client of mine a little something for you”.

The adolescent on the other side of the rectangular wooden table got up and picked his plate and glass, apparently ignoring what kind of something his mother had for him, but Pamela knew that Stan was dieing to know what it was about.

- - -


A few hours later, the boy had packed up his Trapinch knapsack again just the same as he did the first time – save now he had his Trainer Card in his wallet, a brand new double-screened red Pokédex and these mysterious items he found that night in his pack. And even before the teenager could notice, Stanley found himself clutched in the white sheets of his mellow bed.

He kept his arms crossed behind his head and on the pillow with striking eyes staring at the wooden ceiling and with a sleeping small ball of brown fur, with a fluffy tail and big ears, resting comfortably on his chest.

A little something?” he asked to himself under his slow breathing.

Maybe it’s not anything special at all, but what could she possibly ask a client of her? Pamela being the most hard-working breeder in town?” he asked his pillow behind his arms.

While in his quiet meditation, memories of That night echoed once again in his mind, this time focusing on the Book this guy left behind with the orange charm, “What does IT mean? Why did all this happen? I think I won’t sleep until I get the answers…”.

This enigma had to be solved somehow, “But where will I find the answers? And… how?” he wondered as his eyelids became heavier.

Suddenly, a loud noise filled the air – it came from outside, it sounded like a small animal whining in pain ranting furiously in a steel trash can.

Eevee opened its eyes wide awake and jumped out of bed – followed by Stanley, with his dark blue pyjama, as he picked the Beldum-like lantern from the desk before opening the door in a hurry.

This rushing boy did believe the creature outside wasn’t alright – he dashed down the stairs following Eevee with the lighting of his lantern.

The front door swung open as he unlocked it and the two of them rushed to the source of the shrieks of pain as they turned left towards the corner with a dark alley.

Eevee lunged itself into the dark and rammed the trash can with its shoulder – toppling it over and sprawling the suffering small creature out of it.

The boy rushed his light on the small animal lumped onto the cobblestone and gasped “It’s a Zigzagoon!” at the poor thing squirming in pain – blood welling outside its mouth.

“What was that?” Pamela came rushing from behind – as she neared them, the woman saw Stanley carried a very dirty, possibly sick, Zigzagoon in his arms.

“Oh my! Let’s get it in at once, it needs attention!” Pam gasped as she glanced at the poor thing.

The four of them quickly went home, the boy placed the injured Zigzagoon on some flipped old newspapers on the floor to have a detailed look of it.

Pamela kindly put her fingers on the unconscious animal’s snout and softly lifted one lip, revealing pale gums clogged with blood, but after a more detailed glance at the mouth, the woman noticed there wasn’t any injury. So the pokémon was either very sick or it had something in its throat.

A soft finger pressing on its dirty furred neck revealed the latter; there was something stuck in its throat. Eevee and Stan brought clippers and a bottle of alcohol in a matter of seconds and Pam tried to snag the alien item away from the respiratory tract and it turned out to be a rotten fish head.

After all the commotion had passed, the creature’s been given a bath, it has been barely fed with liquids and medicines and had been left resting in one of Stanley’s Pokéballs on a smooth mat right beside the front door. Pam had gone to sleep, so did Eevee, but Stanley could not get up from the chair he had placed at the side of this poor thing.

His eyes hardly ever blinked as the only thought he could come up with was “Please… make it, please… be strong” echoing endlessly inside his head over and over again throughout the entire night.

<center>- - -</center>

Hours flew past the boy as his watch hit 6 O’clock in the morning; he couldn’t sleep because of the sick Zigzagoon he’s been watching upon. And suddenly, someone knocked on the front door.

He picked the red and white ball and housed it in his pocket. The boy unlocked the door and cautiously opened it. His eyes met this young boy of apparently fourteen years old height-wise, wearing thick wool brown T-shirt, some light gray jeans, a pair of plain dark running shoes, a blue scarf around his neck and a dim green cap on his dirty blonde hair.

This boy bowed respectfully at Stan, “I’m sorry to bother you at this time, but… have you come across a small Zigzagoon around here?” he asked politely with his young-pitch voice at a nervous Stanley eyeing him expectantly.


Too many codes... so many codes... @3@;

This one has been the longest installment until now, and even though it was lengthy, it didn't pack the nessesary amount of action at all.

I swear to my tomb that next installment shall be more action packed... and better.. oh you can count on that!

Edit: How could I forget I updated the first post?! It's not anything that big, but I'll fill it eventually.

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Fri May 02, 2008 8:00 am, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:54 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: Kinda lonely this way...

Well, I'm now updating yet again! I must admit I really like this chap, even though it's a two-part one, nonetheless, I hope it's of your liking... I'm even typing next part as I type here!


Quote:
The sky was plain shining blue, the wild lawn was fresh green, the time was early in a peaceful morning far away already from the city in reconstruction, the snaking trail of dirt that extended before the kid stretched towards the northern horizon… such a vista of Route 30! But there was something bothering Stanley’s concentration, or may I rather say… someone?

Almost 4 days have seeped from acknowledging since we last saw Stanley and Eevee, now they’re travelling once again! But some sort of presence has been seen stalking our twosome, Stanley knew who he was, so his interest turned into annoyance like the turn of the wind on his face.

This boy, with a small ball of brown fur resting peacefully in his right shoulder and a small orange mysterious Pokémon Egg sitting on its transparent incubator capsule wrapped by Stanley’s safe arms, had had fun ranting about the beaten trail, until he noticed his stalker behind him again.

#4: Violet Feathers – Part I


The boy barely heard the slight sounds of steps on the grass behind him, like he had heard all these days – he whirled and his eyes met this figure again, it was him once more.

The twosome lowered their brows in unison as they saw this dirty blonde boy, who unconventionally knocked on Stanley’s door that morning, glaring at them with narrow green eyes.

Stan turned his body to face the fourteen year old youth at the distance as Eevee jumped off his shoulder into a battle-like pose, “I’ve already told you my plan, I hope you accept that I’m not sorry about catching the Zigzagoon!” he snapped in a high volume to reach the other guy a few miles away.

The other boy crossed his arms in discontent and roared “His name is Token, you blowhard! And I won’t stop following you until you give him back to me!”.

Eevee jumped back onto its owner’s shoulder as Stan voiced “Can we talk this over at the Centre? Its a few miles from here” as he turned at the trail again.

- - -


Some hours later, inside the reddish and fresh facilities of the Centre, the three of them were having pasta for lunch, however, the ambience on the clear table was not mellow, Stanley did not trust this boy at all, and this dirty blonde teenager still couldn’t hold a mean look at Stan, whom he considered a robber.

The fourteen year old teenager finished his plate quite soon out of hunger and after having the remaining drink in his glass, he turned to Stan on the other side of the table and told him in a rather calm voice “So, I’m thankful for this food you paid and all, but… I want you to give my Zigzagoon back, he’s my best friend”.

“I won’t” Stanley interjected coldly before having the next bunch of rolled pasta on his fork.

“Why not? C’mon man, he’s my only pokémon, I have none more”.

Stan finished swallowing and replied with his serious low-pitched voice “Calvin, Token belongs to me now… and, have you considered the idea I’ve told you?”.

Calvin’s angry brow became a red flush in his face out of rage, he slapped his palms on the table and whispered “I WON’T catch another pokémon to get MY friend back, okay?” trying to conceal his furry.

Stan left the money on the folded blue paper and replied a simple “Then, there’s no Racoon for you… well, let’s go, Eevee, we have a Gym badge to go for” he ended with a friendly tone to his pokémon before getting his orange Egg in his arms again and exiting the dome-shaped Centre out of the glass sliding door.

The crowded grey streets of Violet City extended far and wide from his position, but he didn’t fear this environment full of houses, stores and whatnot, he didn’t feel small at all despite the tall buildings towering far over them, he just walked east towards the Gym with an annoying younger boy following him.

He tried to lose him in the crowd more than once but he reappeared in every corner - this was getting out of control.

Stan slowed his tread and had a seat in a plaza right in front of the Gym and waited for the boy to show up again, not five minutes have passed and Calvin’s figure jutted out of nowhere and neared him in a hurry.

The boy stood in front of Stan looking at him expectantly and uttered aloud “I’ll sue you if you don’t give MY POKÉMON back now!” as if he wanted everyone to know what was happening, but it was in vain, no-one seemed to even turn to them.

Stanley, completely pissed off, got up and growled the boy in his face “Fine, but if you’re gonna ruin my career for a stupid reason, at least let me win my first badge!” ending pointing at the towering building before them, showing Calving that he was not afraid of him.

“Okay, deal” the dirty blonde boy rolled his eyes and they proceeded to enter the building behind the massive, thick swinging doors.

They went right into the lift and up they went to the very last floor, after the steel doors slid open, a grand plain battle field, wide open to the sky itself and towering over the rest of the other buildings, extended width before them.

There was this guy, of apparently thirty-two years old wearing a light blue shirt and kaki pants that matched with his shoes and the old-fashion aviation goggles on his forehead and also wore his dark blue long hair all streamed backwards, polishing his massive Skarmory’s feathers clear with a small blanket.

“You must be Hayato, Am I right?” Stanley asked with a challenging tone.

The guy turned to them and replied “Yes I am, good to meet you both” with his low-pitched mature voice.

They shook hands and Hayato smiled “So, you guys are here for a challenge? I didn’t expect any today, but I’m ready for one if you guys want”.

“I’ll be the one challenging you, actually” Stanley interjected after glancing quickly at the large silver bird behind the Leader.

“Okay, if you’re gonna battle, I want to be the judge!” Calvin expressed after eyeing Stanley heavily, behind his back.

“Sure thing, let’s get started!” Hayato laughed before the two combatants took their respective sides of the battle field.


Yeah, this is just a mere opening for next part, which will show off a nice, epic Gym Battle, I hope to see you there when it starts!

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Sat May 03, 2008 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:48 pm
Profile
Trivia Champion
Trivia Champion
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pm
Posts: 3156
Location: clegavel
Post 
I remember why I didn't read this story before; it was because I'm not familiar with Japanese names, so I never bothered to go looking through the Psydex every time I saw an unfamiliar name. I guess I'm biased.

Great story AABM you have here. Imo, it's on the level of Obs's. I just finished reading the prologue and chapter 1, but I am struggling to keep up, and by posting this you'll know I'll be reading it as frequently as I can get on Psypoke.

- DNA

_________________


Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:08 pm
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:03 am
Posts: 1559
Location: Dragon's Den
Post 
Well, I just had a double lesson free, so I thought I should read your story, and I'm pretty impressed. I like how you've made Stanley have a fault with him, distancing himself from the typically perfect Gary Stu. The fact he won't give Zigzagoon back has revealed a new side to his character.

As for his coming Gym Battle...how the hell is his Eevee going to take on a Skarmory?! o.o He'll either lose and then rebattle him or beat him first time by luck / a strategy given by the other guy. That's what I reckon.

Also, there was something I expected Utsugi (the professor dude) to say, but he didn't, and while it isn't important, it's made me think of a new fic that I might work on...but I really should get going with the 1.5 Sequel.

It's funny how the three of us (AABM / DNA / Obs) all read the three fics of one another and are influenced by them. It's pretty cool!

Looking forward to this Gym battle, it'll be pretty exciting!


~Obs.

_________________
Image

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."


Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:31 am
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Post 
What? What?! What is this? Did I just receive feedback!? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!?

I can even recall when I was a rookie writer with craptastic writing abilities and dared to post a undeveloped plot in this forum without knowing that Crimson (and by that time I didn't even know her) was around.


DNA wrote:
Great story AABM you have here. Imo, it's on the level of Obs's.


On the level of Obs'? Are you sure? Let's just ask Obs what he thinks, for he has better writing skills than I.

Obs wrote:
Also, there was something I expected Utsugi (the professor dude) to say, but he didn't...


Something like what? Stanley's acquiring the Pokédex? I'm mentioning this soon. This story usually lacks time between events, and there are many gaps, so I tend to use flashbacks.

Obs wrote:
It's funny how the three of us (AABM / DNA / Obs) all read the three fics of one another and are influenced by the. It's pretty cool!


Hmm, I've not thought of it that way, but I agree, it's nice! :D

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:36 am
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:03 am
Posts: 1559
Location: Dragon's Den
Post 
AABM wrote:


On the level of Obs'? Are you sure? Let's just ask Obs what he thinks, for he has better writing skills than I.


Well, if I went and said 'this story is as good as mine,' then it would rather be arrogant of me, because this story is excellent, by far. To say that 'this is a story on par to mine' would be beefing my story up to be something that it isn't, while this is excellent as it takes the usual plot of a story and gives it an author's own natural flare. Or flaire. I'm really not sure how to spell it. It has it anyway. :P

AABM wrote:

Obs wrote:
Also, there was something I expected Utsugi (the professor dude) to say, but he didn't...


[color=slategray]Something like what? Stanley's acquiring the Pokédex? I'm mentioning this soon. This story usually lacks time between events, and there are many gaps, so I tend to use flashbacks.


No, no, nothing that you have missed out. My mind raced ahead and assumed he was going to say something, and when it didn't, it was no great shock, but it's put the wheels of my brain turning, churning out a new plot for TDWH Sequel 3. But let's write the 1.5 sequel first. <<;

AABM wrote:

Obs wrote:
It's funny how the three of us (AABM / DNA / Obs) all read the three fics of one another and are influenced by the. It's pretty cool!


Hmm, I've not thought of it that way, but I agree, it's nice! :D


Yup, indeed it is! Now get writing, I want the next chapter! :P *goes off to do the next chapter of his own fic...*

_________________
Image

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."


Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:58 am
Profile
Psychic Trainer
Psychic Trainer
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:01 pm
Posts: 67
Location: Lost in the chaos
Post 
I think am starting to love this part of the forum... Seriously! You guys are amazing! AABM your story is the second i read after joining Psypoke and is just as good as the first one (Obsidian's)...

I love how the main character is different from the usual pokemon character and won't give the zigzagoon back...

I hope your story will stay as good as it is now!! Keep up the good work! :D


Thu Jan 10, 2008 12:47 pm
Profile
Trivia Champion
Trivia Champion
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pm
Posts: 3156
Location: clegavel
Post 
At one point I felt like I was half-asleep skimming through your story. An attack on Cherrygrove City, involving Houndooms and a shiny Flygon? I'm no good at piecing together fast-paced scenes. Now I think I've finally figured out what the short 3-paragraph comments are before each chapter - they are synopses*, correct?

Excellently written (although in some places I noticed either there was a comma where there shouldn't have been, and vice versa**...). I look forward to the next installment. I hope to see how this little tagalong boy turns out.

Now I feel like when I said "it's on the level of Obs's", I feel like I made a writer's faux pas.

- DNA

*Plural of synopsis.
**The 'vice versa' was primarily aimed at the lack of a comma after someone was speaking.

_________________


Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:59 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Post 
DNA wrote:
At one point I felt like I was half-asleep skimming through your story. An attack on Cherrygrove City, involving Houndooms and a shiny Flygon? I'm no good at piecing together fast-paced scenes.


Is that so? Well, I think that scene of the Shiny Flygon and this mysterious guy who appeared out of nowhere and left the book and the orange drop-shaped charm is highly, if not definitely, important. It will help a lot that you guys remember that part, trust me.

DNA wrote:
Now I think I've finally figured out what the short 3-paragraph comments are before each chapter - they are synopses*, correct?


Yes and no. They can work as synopses as in adding to the chapter what has happened, how much time has passed, and such. AND they are also a good intro before the actual chap starts, just to create the atmosphere of the place where most of the action (or at least the beginning) takes place. It is not 100% needed at all, but I guess that it adds my story a little more personality. IDK, may be it's me <.<;

And, by the by, you guys should be wondering about this book's relevance and all, well, stick around a bit more, this enigma will start to uncloud soon.

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:20 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: YATA! There is an update here!

Meh, I double-posted to promote this epic Gym Battle, so what? I'm not the only one who's after this second part... am I?


Quote:
#4: Violet Feathers – Part II


As the dirty blonde boy got in the judge’s stand on the border in half battle field, the thirty-two year old guy enquired Calvin in a tone full of doubt “Dude, do you know the rules of this encounter?” with a frown.

The youth turned and smiled a confident “You guys do not worry, my father’s an official judge certified by the Pokémon Meeting Federation, I know it all!” with a big smirk.

Now at this rate, when the battle was about to begin, the air was growing tense by the second; both Stanley and Hayato were staring expectantly at each other under the striking 2 O’clock sun above their faces.

As Calvin’s voice declared his statements about the match, things appeared to become tighter, “This will be an official Gym encounter for the acquiring of the Wing Badge. For this challenge, both combatants are allowed to use two of their pokémon in two one-on-one separated rounds; only the challenger, Stanley Natsuke, is allowed to switch his pokémon when he pleases; the Leader, Hayato, is not”.

Turning to him, Stanley put his hands on his waist out of amazement and gasped kindly “Wow, you do know a lot about this, Calvin” as he learned this boy’s wide knowledge.

Calvin smirked and replied “Watching several Battle Records at home are one good way of learning”.

Hayato searched into his pocket and uttered “Okay, let’s do this! I choose Pidgeotto!” and threw a red-white Pokéball onto the field – the capsule-like ball soared the air and landed on the floor, bursting open with a flash of white light – revealing a moderated-size cream coloured bird with beautiful feathers protruding from its forehead before the ball floated back to its owner’s hands.

Stanley got the encapsulated Egg wrapped in his right arm as he picked his red, double-screened pokédex in his left pocket, he flipped it open and directed the lens on the strange bird, and it reacted displaying the information on the lower screen while showing a nice picture of a standard specimen on the upper one.

Beep!Pidgeotto, the Bird Pokémon. Full of vitality, it constantly patrols its territory, mercilessly punishing intruders with its wickedly sharp talons” the machine showed in well-sized font on the lower, touch screen.

Stanley widened his eyes somewhat and thought “Oh, so that’s about Pidgeotto, huh?”.

He put away his hand-held computer and got his pokémon Egg again in both arms; he turned to his Eevee at his side and called “Well buddy, this one is yours! Are you ready?” with a flash of confidence in each word.

The Eevee nodded instantly with a brave smile in its face and jumped forward onto the battle arena with a fierce arched battle pose aimed at its opposing figure on the ground.

“So, it’s Eevee against Pidgeotto!” Calvin called, “Let the battle begin!” shouted he as the youth raised both hands.

A smirk shone in his face and Stanley stepped forward, calling “Okay Eevee, let’s start this off, Curse!”. Eevee planted its paws hard on the floor as he grew a furious face while the muscles of its body hardened somewhat, it looked menacing in a way by showing its white teeth despite it’s small frame.

“Quite impressive!” gasped Hayato, making a small pause before smirking evilly “But you’d made a mistake, and that is to remain still”, he stepped forward in a dramatic rush and called out “Pidgeotto, use Gust!”. The bird raised flight and began to beat its wings furiously - a blast of raging wind flowed throughout the entire battle field, striking hard on it’s target and making the small mammal to lose balance.

With this rushing wind blowing against his face, Stanley could not see very well, neither could Eevee, but Stan called out “Eevee, push forward with a Quick Attack!”. Eevee lunged itself into the bird high in the air, it darted its way through the wind that tried to stop it in vain – the mammal jumped high to crash against the target with its shoulder but the bird parried the charge.

Excellent, now Eevee is in the air” Hayato smirked evilly and shouted the next movement dramatically, “Twister!”.

Pidgeotto began to beat wings again as it did before but this time, the produced wing formed a furious tornado that caught the small Eevee in midair, sending it flying upwards as it screeched in pain!

“Eevee!” was the only thought that the boy could shout out as he saw it’s friend being sent up to the sky like a living rocket.

Hayato called out again, eviller than ever as he stepped forward again “Smash it with Tackle!”. The flying creature darted upwards towards the helpless falling mammal – jutting beak prepared for impact.

Stanley’s eyes grew wide open out of stress, he stepped forwards as well and called “Eevee try to avoid that!” as he saw the bird approaching dangerously to his friend.

A sound of strong blow against a furry rug, followed with Eevee’s high gasp of pain filled the air and Stanley with rush and fear – the bird collided head on with the mammal’s stomach for a critical blow!

Instantly after the shock, the mammal managed to grab the bird head with its paws and all of a sudden, the young four-legged creature dug its fangs into its attacker’s neck – crushing pain burned the bird’s weakest spot into instant fainting, causing Calvin to gasp quietly in amazement.

“No! Pidgeotto!” cried Hayato with small pupils out of amazement as he saw his flying pal falling, almost lifelessly, like a stone and crash-landing hard on the floor.

“Eevee! What’s wrong with you!? You’re battling! Not hunting!” Stan shouted at his friend out of excitement blended with a bit of discontent. Eevee whirled to his owner behind him with endearing eyes and some blood leaking outside its lips.

“Hey! That was rather dirty of your part, Stanley! I have no choice but to disqualify Eevee!” Calvin shouted as he raised his left hand.

“What?! It wasn’t my fault! It wasn’t even Eevee’s! He just… did it!” Stanley exclaimed.

“Rules are rules my friend, you’re lucky you’re still participating in this battle, for I’d normally not allow that” the dirty blonde responded with grudge at Stan before snapping “Recall Eevee now, he’s disqualified!” causing Stanley himself to regretfully pick his small friend from the scene and on a nearby bench to rest.

At this rate, Hayato has got his red-white capsule again and got his bird in his arms before smiling endearingly “Get in here, my friend, you did well!” while retrieving the bird, engulfed in red light, into its Pokéball again

He raised his gaze up to the two of his opponents and smirked “So you did, guys” before grinning friendly to laugh a confident “But if I have any chance of winning this match, I’d better use it!” as his Skarmory landed lightly on the battle field with a caw.

Beep!Skarmory, the Armour Bird Pokémon. These large birds tend to raise their offspring in bramble bushes, causing the thorns of these to harden their wings as they grow”.

Stanley got his feet on his respective place on the battle field and thought “Ungh, how will I take that thing out?” while producing an accidental frown of worry as he wiped a Pokéball from his belt.

“Come on, Token!” he shouted as he threw the ball upwards – the ball burst open in midair and released a stream of whitish light that landed on the battle field – revealing Token, the once stray Zigzagoon Stanley found by his house, sitting on the floor and staring expectantly at Skarmory.

“So you’ll use Token, huh?” smirked a confident Calvin at a Stanley under pressure, who didn’t even look back at him, “Well, it’s Skarmory versus Token, let this match be--” the youth was caught short by Hayato.

“Wait!” he exclaimed before stating something important, “We have a special rule in this Gym, like all the others in the country, we state some special rules as an additional difficulty for the challengers, do you understand?” he enquired rightfully as he saw both younglings nodding.

Then he continued, “Violet Gym’s special rule applies to the final round like this one, allow me explain” he made a pause to clear his throat and then resumed his short speech, “For this round, Stanley, you and I will choose just one move our pokémon knows and will use it, that choice will define the loser and the winner, and it has to be an offensive move, alright?” he asked his young adversary before watching him nodding quietly.

“Sure thing!” Calvin exclaimed in joy and declared “So, last round, with the Violet Gym’s Rule taken in consideration, begins now!” as he raised both hands up to the air.

The air became heavy from tension, Skarmory flew high into the sky to gain speed for the move, while Token remained motionless into a battle-pose similar to that of Eevee’s. Stanley couldn’t help but to stare at the expectant Zigzagoon out of complete ignorance about him and what he could do.

“Skarmory, go Brave Bird!” Hayato uttered at his flying creature darting downwards upon the racoon like a heat-oriented missile and began shining in rabid deep blue as it was about to impact the racoon!

“Token! Do anything to stop it, please!” Stanley’s cry came to the ears of this cool racoon. Suddenly, it growled as its body arched began to produce crackling sparks of high voltage and – a blast of blue electricity engulfed the incoming flying bird, taking it out with one hit and it crash-landed on the floor for everyone’s surprise – safe Calvin.

“Skarmory is unable to fight! The winner is Token and Stanley!” Calvin uttered out raising both hands again as both trainers retrieve their pokémon flattering their brave efforts.

“Quite impressive, Stanley!” laughed Hayato as he neared the group of teenagers, a pokémon Egg, and an Eevee, “Who would expect that little ball of fur knew the move Shock Wave?! Anyways, you cleared the challenge and deserve this badge” resumed he with a wide grin at Stanley while handling him the Wing Badge, a beautiful small feather-looking silver pin.

The boy took it discretely out of joy and thanked the leader, by shaking hands with him again, and Calvin for handling the match quite neatly and also thanked Eevee and Token for their bravery.


Well, that wraps thing up for today's installment! I hope you all liked it, because I did :P... even thought it was lengthly.

I'd like to know when will next installment come, but the thing is that I don't. All I know is that it will be just a rather informative one, but don't expect it to be bad!

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Mon May 05, 2008 9:12 am, edited 2 times in total.



Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:06 pm
Profile
Psychic Trainer
Psychic Trainer
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:01 pm
Posts: 67
Location: Lost in the chaos
Post 
Excellent chapter AABM! :D I was really surprised with the way zigzagoon beat skarmory... I hope the next installment comes up soon!

BTW just a couple of mistakes i've spotted:

Quote:
“So, it’s Eevee against Pidgeotto!” Calvin called, “Let the battle begin!” shouted he as the youth raised both hands.


Quote:
The boy took it discretely out of joy and thanked the leader, by shaking hands with hi again, and Calvin for handling the match quite neatly and also thanked Eevee and Token for their bravery.


Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:15 am
Profile
Trivia Champion
Trivia Champion
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pm
Posts: 3156
Location: clegavel
Post 
I hadn't even noticed those, Sword of Destiny. But the battle almost seemed like it was rigged, like Stanley was supposed to win. Realistically, a Zigzagoon Shock Wave wouldn't kill a Skarmory, an Eevee at low health couldn't turn the tide with just 1 Curse and a Bite, and who in his right mind loads a Shock Wave TM on a Zigzagoon? Early Pokemon aren't noted for good SpAtk.
This chapter was rather...weird.

- DNA

_________________


Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:56 pm
Profile
Pokemon Master
Pokemon Master
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:03 am
Posts: 1559
Location: Dragon's Den
Post 
Hm, I see DNA's point...it did seem like it was almost a dead cert to go Calvin's way, but it was still pretty cool. The off chance that Zigzagoon did know Shock Wave was still pretty cool as unlikely as it would be 'in real life' if such a thing exists in the world of Pokemon. :P

I quite like the Eevee's savage nature; sort of reflects Calvin's own nasty streak, though the move 'Bite' would therefore be considered just as 'dirty' in a battle?

Regardless, this was a cool chapter, and a good way to make the story progress. Keep it up.

~Obs.

_________________
Image

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."


Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:08 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Post 
Sword wrote:
I wrote:
“So, it’s Eevee against Pidgeotto!” Calvin called, “Let the battle begin!” shouted he as the youth raised both hands.


I wouldn't see it as incorrect grammar, I've seen it in essays and poetry... maybe that's the reason...

DNA wrote:
But the battle almost seemed like it was rigged, like Stanley was supposed to win. Realistically, a Zigzagoon Shock Wave wouldn't kill a Skarmory, an Eevee at low health couldn't turn the tide with just 1 Curse and a Bite, and who in his right mind loads a Shock Wave TM on a Zigzagoon? Early Pokemon aren't noted for good SpAtk.
This chapter was rather...weird.


So, according to you, this battle was kind of one-sided? One-sided appeared to be the leader's side because of a Skarmory as his best pokémon.

Maybe, this was because I just feared to prolong this chapter needlessly. I must admit I don't like it when a battle enlongens itself without too much action, and also, that I still have to learn how to write these.

Yeah, this chapter was weird, but weird in a good way, or in a bad one?


Obs wrote:
The off chance that Zigzagoon did know Shock Wave was still pretty cool as unlikely as it would be 'in real life' if such a thing exists in the world of Pokemon.:P


This issue I had to deal with just produced more backup story and character development for my fic! This Shock Wave wasn't so random, it has it's reason, it will be told, worry not.

Obs wrote:
I quite like the Eevee's savage nature; sort of reflects Calvin's own nasty streak, though the move 'Bite' would therefore be considered just as 'dirty' in a battle?


The move itself is not dirty, what was dirty from Eevee, was how it used its move, seriously, how many times have you seen a pokémon really trying to actually eat its opponent in a friendly battle? Hence Stanley's fierce comment at Eevee after it KO'ed Pidgeotto, AND that's why Pidgeotto fainted so early. I guessed you liked this chap because of the introduction of special rules for each Gym, they promise they'll make every Gym battle more exciting and unique.

I hope I cleared out a thing or two, again, this Shock Wave isn't random, expect it to be explained. AND, expect this Book to enter the plot soon, too.

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:50 pm
Profile
Trivia Champion
Trivia Champion
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pm
Posts: 3156
Location: clegavel
Post 
Quote:
So, according to you, this battle was kind of one-sided? One-sided appeared to be the leader's side because of a Skarmory as his best pokémon. Yet the Zigzagoon won anyway? That's one-sided. It ended up being one-sided either way. Maybe Skarmory shouldn't have been brought on so early in the story.

Maybe, this was because I just feared to prolong this chapter needlessly. I must admit I don't like it when a battle enlongens itself without too much action, and also, that I still have to learn how to write these. That's fine by me; that's not why I didn't like it.

Yeah, this chapter was weird, but weird in a good way, or in a bad one? A bad way...

- DNA

_________________


Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:58 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Yeah, it has been ages since my last post, but even my lack of updating my threads has a reason for it.

It is one pretty long story, so I'll spare the details, the thing is that now that I've moved to another city, I lack interenet connection AND that means I will not update everyday as I used to, Story updates will become scarce, and so will regular posts.

I hope I can get internet connection as soon as possible, for paying 3.50Bs F. per hour hurts enough for not going online all the time.

But you guys worry not, my stories are still on. I promise I will resume them sooner or later.

But for now, this fanfic stays as [Frozen] yet again.

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:54 pm
Profile
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Writer's Corner: How could the destiny allow such event to happen?! AM I UPDATING THIS!? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?!

By the by, allow me to tell you something about this one, #5 is not an action-packed chapter, it is way far from being joyous and you'll find it boring, but... you see... this one is important for you to know, sorry.

Read carefully and... ENJOY WHAT YOU CAN!!1


Quote:
Not one thing could have been seen in a night as dark as this one, not only because of the downpouring rain scarce of thunderbolts and any city being far away from here, but also because Route 31 was known to be the entrance of a gloomy forest, which had apparently expanded as the years had gone by.

The foursome, of two teens with one Eevee and a pokémon Egg, was found doing little else other than watching the rain fall and letting the guts digest the plethora of Pecha Berries. Eevee and Stanley, with the encapsulated Egg in his arms, were sat almost-comfortably in one of this huge tree’s branches, below which a sleepy Calvin was sitting with the feeling of the wet earth under his pants.

None of them could ever find a split second to sleep away because whenever they tried to do so a loud thunderbolt flashed near them – up in the dark gray clouds – which often made Eevee to shriek in surprise as any thunder filled the air with its unworldly loud roar.

#5: Strike the Stride.


The older teen on the branch leaned against the cold, rough bark of the main tree trunk and enquired a fellow below him “So Clavin, why did you not sue me?” and emphasised “I thought you went serious on that one”.

The dirty blonde youth crossed his arms and looked away snapping “Tch, I must admit I over exaggerated a bit on that” then, he raised his gaze to the rest of the field, dotted by trees at the distance, being showered by the ravaging falling waters.

“Besides” he continued “You need Token more than I do” the fourteen year old voiced softly with a trace of regret in that sentence.

Stanley crossed his legs to have Eevee and the Egg rest between them and turned to the kid below him, “Are you serious?” he enquired arching an eyebrow, “Because I think you did one good job training him” Stan tried to make a sad Calvin more comfortable, but in vain.

Calvin got his knees against his chest and put his crossed arms on them to place his chin on the cross, not saying a word.

Stanley frowned and lowered the pitch of his voice, “Calvin, we’ve had this conversation a lot of times now, I will not give your pokémon back because--“ he was interrupted by a flash of sorrow from the dirty blonde kid.

I don’t care! I want him back! I miss him!” he cried as he finished by sinking his face upon his arms. Sobs began to spell his sadness when he snapped “How… How would you feel if I… take your Eevee away from you and wouldn’t give it back?!” faltering out of angst.

“I miss when we marched around Rustboro city to get to the academy! I miss when my father’s best friend, Watson, came over for the weekend and, thanks to him, we taught Token the move Shock Wave! I miss when we trained for months using our growing skills! I miss all the time we’ve spent together! This is not fair!” a dramatic Calvin’s memories caused a fever pitch in him, spitting the last sorrowful sentence - tears welling outside his shut eyes.

Such a dramatic scene from the heart itself would thaw even the coldest of icebergs, but, instead of causing Stanley’s heart to warm up from compassion, the cold boy just rolled his eyes away and thought it was best to keep his mouth shut, leaving the boy alone in his troubled rollercoaster of emotions before ever directing a word to his direction again.

Gah, this conversation is pointless, I want to reason with him and he goes emo again…” Stanley thought while crossing his arms as a reaction of the itching cold from the bark he was leaning against and sitting on.

Eyeing under sit seat, the boy joined his brows out of pity and meditated it well, thinking “He’s right, it’s not fair, but life wasn’t meant to be fair anyway… so it’s time for him to learn it the rough, first-person way”.

The rain appeared to have no end, it kept falling and falling like no tomorrow, but even in the middle of this loud downpour, Calvin’s mumbling could have been caught by Stanley’s right ear, “You win, I give in”.

A surprised Stanley whirled towards him as the sobbing kid calmed down and continued “On the next city, I buy myself a pokéball and catch something to trade it with Token, okay?”.

Stanley widened his eyes somewhat out of gladness as a smile shone in his face, “At last! You finally accept my proposition! It’s a deal, then”.

A still angry Calvin had a split second to whisper an acid comment, “I guess the kidnapper’s conditions are to be followed if you want your relatives released”, an acid comment which indeed was caught by the other guy’s ears.

Stanley opened his mouth to pronounce an objection, but stopped it before spelling it after thinking that if he said anything, he would make things look worse, so he let the kid be, who spoke again.

“But” Calvin mumbled again before turning slowly to a boy at his high left and said “You have to promise me you’ll use the expression ‘Strike the Stride’ whilst having Token do something for you, alright?”.

“‘Strike the Stride’?” Stan questioned a fellow teen while arching an eyebrow, “What does it mean?” a frowning Stanley enquired as Eevee peeked at the boy below from one of its owner’s legs.

Suddenly, a thunderbolt flashed again and filled the air with a rush of ear-splitting noise, making Eevee to shriek in companion to the thunder; then the boy had to embrace his scared ball of wet fur in his arms tightly to relieve it a bit.

Calvin continued with no falter, as if the thunder didn’t ever crash, “That is something like saying ‘Go forth’, ‘Come on’ and the likes of those, you see?” he finished enquiring his fellow traveller before watching him nod with a serious face.

A smile shone on both of the teenagers’ faces before Stanley pronounced, “I understand, my friend, I promise” with a trace of happiness in the last bit.


Yeah, 'Strike the Stride', I doubt it, but if such expression DOES exist, excuse Stanley's ignorance... which, in that case, would be MY ignorance, too.

I'd say this one was a dry chap, if there wasn't this heck of a rain.[/bad_joke]

Anyways, I know this is not the perfect 'welcome back to life' for my story, because it is not such thing, I don't know when will I update again...

_________________
AABM's

Image

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.


· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?


Last edited by AABM on Tue May 06, 2008 11:05 am, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:38 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.