It is currently Thu Oct 18, 2018 4:08 am

Reply to topic  [ 8 posts ] 
 Divergent Courage: An Earthbound FanFic [PG-13] 
Author Message
Gym Leader
Gym Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:33 pm
Posts: 1578
Location: Wisconsin
+++Author’s Notes+++
Hello, and welcome to this fanfic of mine! I recently began this fanfic on, but I thought I'd share it with my fellow Psypokians. Therefore, I will be posting the first two chapters in this one post. What a bargain for you! (best of all, I can use my original unorthodox text usage methods here. Bwahaha.)

An important thing for you, the reader, to know is that when I have a character thinking to themselves, I use italics to express it. Normally only the main character, Dominic, expresses individual thought, so I don’t bother tagging the italic thoughts with “blahblah , Dominic thought to himself”. However, if the situation ever arises where another character is thinking to themselves, I will clearly point it out for clarity.

Without further ado, I present to you the beginning of my fanfic!


Two decades ago in the year 199X, an intergalactic destroyer named Giygas came to Earth with the most evil of intentions. Thanks to a meteor crash, a boy named Ness from Eagleland began a long journey, along with three friends, to defeat the evil Giygas. Ness and friends successfully vanquished Giygas, returning peace to Eagleland and Earth.

It is now the year 202X. Eagleland has seen nothing but peace and serenity over the past two centuries. Ness and his friends have gone on to lead enriched, successful lives of happiness in their hometowns.

Our story, however, begins in a lesser known region of Eagleland, where life tends to be all work and no play; the town of Blisston.


==[Ch 1: Conscience]==


Dominic grumbled as he reached over to turn off his alarm clock. Eyes still closed, he fumbled the alarm device with his numb fingers in attempt to find the On/Off switch. After a few seconds of accidentally turning the clock’s radio on, he finally managed to turn off the alarm.

Gently rubbing his eyes, Dominic squinted at the clock.

8:13... ... ... oh no! I’m late for school!

Dominic frantically leapt out of his bed and made a mad dash for his dresser. He grabbed the first t-shirt he could find, which as a green and purple striped shirt. After nearly ripping hole in it with his head, he sprinted to the bathroom while simultaneously grabbing a pair of denim shorts off of the floor.

His left hand moving a toothbrush up and down; his right hand trying to get the shorts to slide up his legs. Dominic was trying his best to multitask to save time, but it was more difficult than efficient. Soon he finally got his shorts on and zipped, allowing him to finish up his brushing.

After he spat out the toothpaste, Dominic reached for the bar of deodorant. Hastily, he rolled the deodorant underneath his shirt and set it back down when he was done. Dominic then glanced at the mirror; his brown hair was a frizzled mess.

No time to fix up my hair… I’ll just grab my cap on the way out.

Panting as he ran, Dominic made his way downstairs. He slipped on his purple socks and navy blue shoes, then snagged his purple baseball cap from the coat rack. Dominic breathed a sigh of relief; part one was over. Now all that was left was to run to school and hope he could sneak into class.

Just as Dominic’s right hand reached the diamond-shaped door knob, he heard a voice cry out from the kitchen.

“Pookie! Eat something before you leave!” shouted the voice with concern.

It was his mother.

“Sorry mom, I’m late!” replied Dominic. “I’ll eat a double sized dinner when I get home to make up for it, okay?”

Dominic didn’t hesitate any longer. He rushed out the front door, almost slamming the door behind him. Once outside, he quickly got onto the sidewalk and began sprinting again. School was only three blocks away, so he could make somewhat good time if he went straight there.

One block and a half later, something caught Dominic’s eye from the street corner. A person in a trench coat was on the ground and was being beat up by the Barracudas, the local street gang. Dominic stopped a moment to consider what to do.

Oh geeze, that person is in trouble… what should I do? If I try and stop the Barracudas, they’ll most likely start wailing on me too… but I can’t stand here and let that person be mistreated. What should I do… what should I do…


==[Ch.2: Gang Fight]==

Dominic knew the right thing to do. He had to help the person in need, no matter what the consequences of facing the Barracudas would present.

“Hey, leave that person alone!” yelled Dominic as he approached the gang.

There were three gang members here total. One was really tall and looked to be the leader of the bunch. Another one was about the same height as Dominic (5’7”), and the last was significantly short. They all were wearing similar outfits bearing the text “BARRACUDAS” on their bodies.

The tallest one signaled for the other two to stop their beating. He leaned forward towards Dominic.

“Who do you think you are? Not only did you just address us without being told to do so, you just gave us a command!” spoke the tall one. “Does that sound like a pretty accurate report of what this flea just did, fellas?”

“Oh yeah boss; he was totally off by addressing us.” replied the short one.

“This piece of garbage thinks he can tell us what to do! Whaddya say we take a break from teaching that stranger our local customs and clean up this walking trash?” suggested the tall one.

“Sounds excellent boss! A sublime idea!” said the medium sized one, cracking his knuckles.

Dominic gulped. He knew there was no way out of fighting now. He quickly scanned around to see if there was anything he could use to defend himself with. His eye caught a glimpse of a moderately big stick near his feet; he picked it up.

“Nyeheheh! This idiot thinks he can defend himself with a wooden stick!” laughed the medium sized one. “I’ll show you just why the Barracuda gang rules this neighborhood!”

The gang member was coming towards Dominic. Without hesitation, Dominic swung the stick as hard as he could and closed his eyes.


The gang member was sent backwards, flailing his arms as he fell. His arms accidentally smacked the short gang member just before his fall, leading them both to be knocked out.

Dominic opened his eyes and saw the outcome of his swing. He knocked out two of them with one blow! He smiled with pride of his sudden feat.

Seeing Dominic smile was like salt in a wound; the tall gang member began fuming his head off.

“I’ll wipe that arrogant smirk off your mug, punk!” he yelled as he charged forward.

Dominic swung the stick once more and hit the tall gang member square on the forehead. The stick cracked into two upon impact, but the tall member fell over, seemingly knocked out.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Dominic knew that he had to check up on the person that was being beat up before. After taking just one step, however, he felt something grab his leg. Next came a forceful tug, causing Dominic to fall down.

Dominic spun his body around. It was the gang member; he was not out yet! The member brandished a concealed pocketknife.

“No more mercy because you’re a punk… I’m going to gut you, you little…”

Before the gang member could finish his sentence, police sirens were heard from around the corner.

“Damn, it’s the fuzz… someone probably called them when they saw us dragging the stranger here for a beating.” muttered the tall gang member. “Seems to be your lucky day, punk. But I swear, I will get revenge on you someday… punk!”

With that said, the gang member ran off dragging his fallen comrades. Dominic stood up and brushed himself off. He had won.

Now, to check on that person…

Dominic turned around only to see that the trench coat-wearing person had vanished. He looked around in all directions, but he saw no one hiding or running away.

They must’ve came to during the fight and ran away without us noticing… I hope whoever it was is ok.

Dominic heard the police sirens again. If they saw him, they might assume he was playing hooky, like he did back in 8th grade. The neighborhood police had caught Dominic doing said act numerous times, and they knew his face by now.

I better take a path through someone’s yard to avoid being seen… being caught by police is far worse than having to face my teachers for being late. At least, I think so…

Leaping a fence, Dominic resumed his sprint towards school. He quickly made his way through twelve more neighborhood yards before finally seeing his school in front of him.


<Closing Comments>
Well, I hope you enjoyed the short beginning of my fanfic! One disgruntled regret from me is that I couldn't come up with better ideas for identifying the Barracuda gang members... it got kinda annoying calling them "gang members" and stuff like "the tall one" over and over again.

Please comment! I appreciate all forms of criticism, especially constructive. If you don’t like something I wrote, by all means, give me some suggestions! I’m very liberal, so I’ll definitely take things into consideration. I also welcome any story-suggestions/ideas... within reason.


Last edited by Registeel_Rocks on Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:40 pm
Profile WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
I think I haven't EVER seen an Earthbound fiction, because I lack knowledge about any important thing/event/place/characters (other than Ness and Lucas) but yeah, this one was well written and fine to me.

Registeel wrote:
They must’ve came to during the fight and ran away without us noticing… I hope whoever it was is ok.

This is a way common mistake, but the correct thing would be "Without our noticing". Yeah, it's a small thing almost not worth pointing out, but I think it's fair that you know it and put it in practice, and even more if that was the only mistake I could see...

Another thing is that you could, at least, say who is thinking... I know most of the monologues are from Dominic, but I cannot assure that until I come to the subject of the sentence, like in that same quote, I could say it was Dominic because the gang has ran away already.

But you know what you should do? You can characterise the way your characters think, one by being more literate than others is a good way to start.

Overall, I'm being drawn to this fic quite effectively, your style is worth reading as it doesn't hurt my eyes and the descriptions you apply form a rather colourful and solid picture in my head. Props for you!



"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:30 pm
Gym Leader
Gym Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:33 pm
Posts: 1578
Location: Wisconsin
+++Author’s Notes+++

Just a general reminder: at this point in the story, all italicized thought-statements are made only by Dominic. Later in the story there will be more characters thinking, and at that point I will begin identifying the people thinking. Hope that clears up any confusion!


==[Ch.3: Suspended]==

Dominic quickly ascended the front stairs and came to the main entrance. Slowly, he opened the door and crept inside

Sweetness… not a soul in sight. Now I just need to sneak into my study hall class, and I’m good to go!

Dominic was down the hallway in seconds and came to a junction where he would turn right. Behind him, he heard a door open. He glanced back to see that it was the office secretary; she had seen him going down the hall!

“Young man, why aren’t you in class?” hissed the woman.


“Uh… I was on a bathroom break!” replied Dominic as he broke into a mad dash down the next hall. He kept looking back to see if the secretary was chasing after him. After running ten feet, he slammed into someone.

“Oof!” cried Dominic. He looked up to see who he had hit; it was none other than the principal.

Double--no, triple crap!

“Trying to sneak into school late again, Mr. Dominic?” snapped the principal. “To my office, now!”

Dominic sighed a breath of defeat and reluctantly paced to the principal’s office like he had last week. Once inside, he sat down in the student’s spot as the principal took refuge behind his big, corporate desk.

The principal’s office was devoid of much color and excitement; just like the rest of the school. Sappy motivational posters littered the wall, and filing cabinets lined up side by side. The desk was a basic rectangular desk with ordered papers on top, as well as a block spelling “Mr. Boyle, Principal”.

“Dominic, this is the fifth time this quarter you’ve been tardy and caught sneaking in.” grumbled the principal. “Well, let‘s hear what caused your tardiness this time.”

“Mr. Boyle, I was late today because I got into a fight--”

“Picking fights now as well? This is a new low for you.” interrupted Mr. Boyle.

“Let me finish.” said Dominic. “The Barracudas gang was beating up someone, so I stepped in and fought them to protect that person.”

“Gangs? In our perfectly peaceful town? Nonsense.” replied the principal.

What a blimp! All the townsfolk know troubles the Barracudas give us… there’s no way he could not know about it, unless he’s--

“Okay, I will humor your little theory.” guffawed Mr. Boyle. “Let’s pretend this gang you speak of does exist. The person they were ‘beating up’-- the one you said you ‘saved’. Who was it?”

“I… didn’t get a chance to see them up close.” Dominic said as he hung his head, realizing he was going to get nowhere.

“That’s what I though; completely made up.” smirked the principal. “Lying about being a little ‘hero’ so you can excuse yourself for being late won’t here; I’m too smart and better than you. In addition, nothing you can come up with will excuse you from your punishment now.”

“Please Mr. Boyle, just let--”

“I am hereby suspending you from school for one week.”

“What!?” shrieked Dominic. “But this is just being tardy!”

“I’m well aware that it’s ‘just being tardy’.” haughtily replied the principal. “It seems that normal punishments haven’t been making any impact on you, so I concluded that a suspension is the only thing that will get you to realize that your deviant behavior is irrational. I’m going to be calling your mother to tell her to pick you up; I’m sure she won’t be pleased to hear my voice”

Then Mr. Boyle grinned the most wretched smile Dominic had ever seen.

“Maybe if your mother begs and grovels for you, I’ll let you off with half the sentence.” said Mr. Boyle.

Dominic snapped. He lunged forward at Mr. Boyle and grabbed him by the collar of his suit.

“You can look down upon me all you want, you pig… but don’t you ever talk about my mother like that!!” exploded Dominic.

In seething rage, Dominic flung Mr. Boyle backwards against the wall and quickly ran away afterwards. The principal grunted as he got up from being thrown.

“Hmph! Little whelp…” he barked.

Mr. Boyle began to smell something burning. His neck was also beginning to feel extremely warm. He hastily opened a drawer in his desk and grabbed a hand-mirror. He screamed and began to ran around frantically after what he saw.

The collar of his suit was on fire, exactly where Dominic had grabbed him.


<Closing Comments>
Well, that was a decently long chapter!

So, starting to get a grasp on how things tend to work in the society of Blisston? Ignoring crime, haughty attitudes…

And what was the deal with Mr. Boyle being on fire at the end? Eh? You want me to tell you? Sorry, my lips are sealed until Chapter 4!


Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:29 pm
Profile WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
R_R wrote:
Sorry, my lips are sealed until Chapter 4!


Anyways, this last installment was rather simplistic in a way, but the last part gave me quite a shock, I didn't know Dominic was this... dangerous! <.<; Though, he is right to an extent, how dare the principal talk like that to his mother, not even I would allow it, but wouldn't take him down either.

See you until next addition.



"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:35 pm
Gym Leader
Gym Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:33 pm
Posts: 1578
Location: Wisconsin
+++Author’s Notes+++
After weeks of writer's block, I've finally finished Chapter 4! This is definitely the most intense and longest chapter thus far.

There's some serious stuff happening in this chapter, so if my one reader gets disturbed easily, be wary! (I doubt you are AABM, since you're putting "gnarly" stuff in your PMD fic...) But yeah...

Anyhoo, on with the story! I hope you enjoy/hate/whatever! =]

==[Ch.4: Turmoil]==

Dominic rushed out of the school as fast as he could. He didn’t have any reason to stay there anymore, what with having attacked the principal.

He’ll probably have called the cops or something by now… I better just find a good hiding spot in town.

After clearing the steps to the school building itself, Dominic looked back, just to make sure that the principal hadn’t sent any teachers after him. No one was there, so Dominic kept running. That is, until he suddenly collided with something.

“Oooof!” grunted Dominic. “Oh my, excuse m--”

Dominic stopped mid-sentence when he saw who it was he bumped into. It was the person he defended from the Barracudas earlier! Dominic tried to mouth some words, but found he couldn’t out of shock.

“I never got a chance to thank you…” spoke the cloaked figure.

“Eh, well… it was no problem, I--” began Dominic.

“…Dominic.” whispered the person.

Dominic almost wet himself that moment in surprise. How did that person know his name already?

“How… how do you…”

“That is not important right now, Dominic.” said the person. “I came to this town, Blisston, specifically to see you. It is of utmost importance…”

“See me?” questioned Dominic. “This isn’t right… you know who I am, yet you conceal yourself and expect me to stand here talking to you like nothing is odd about this!”

“Very well, seeing as we do not have much time, I’ll introduce myself now.” replied the person. The person started unveiling cloaks from the face, and in a few seconds, you could see it was a woman. She had flowing blonde hair, aqua blue eyes, and a faded red bow in her hair.

“You--you’re a girl!” exclaimed Dominic in great surprise.

I wasn’t expecting that…and now that I think about it, this means that the Barracudas were beating up a woman… how low…

“You can just call me Miss for the time being; we need to be quick.” explained the woman. “Dominic, I’ll be blunt and direct; you’re gifted.”

“Gifted…? What does that mean?” inquired Dominic.

“It means you have a latent internal power within you.” elaborated Miss. “It’s something called PSI.”

“PSI? What is sand’s name is PSI?!?” asked a confused Dominic.

“In short, psychokinetic powers. Let me show you…” said Miss as she started to breath deeply. Miss held out her hand with her fist closed. Slowly, she pointed out her index finger and middle finger. In a matter of seconds, a ball of electricity appeared on her fingertips.

“Amazing!” gasped Dominic. “That’s PSI power?”

“This is just a sample of what PSI can do. There are many forms PSI can take and be used.” explained Miss. “Thus, many PSI users often have unique powers that they alone can use.”

“Users? There are other people who can use PSI?”

“Yes; however, we are few and spread out.” spoke Miss. “This is why I needed to find you.”

“So we could unite or something?” asked Dominic.

“Precisely.” replied Miss. “Your mother’s intellect must run in your veins.”

“You know my mom?!?” yelled Dominic.

“Your father as well.” smiled Miss. She quickly frowned, though. “We don’t have time to talk about these things, though. I need to awaken your PSI powers right now.”

Miss put her right hand on Dominic’s forehead. Her hand was warm and soft, which made Dominic flush a little. Then Dominic began to feel strange pulsations in his head. He quickly began to feel the pulses going through his whole body.

“Urgh, it feels so…odd…it hurts too…” gritted Dominic.

“I’m sorry about the pain, but I have to do this quickly.” assured Miss. “Only a minute more Dominic.”

Dominic clenched his teeth and tightened his fists in pain. His eyes were shut as well.

Gotta be strong…

“Okay Dominic, I’m almost--”

Dominic stopped feeling the pulsations in his body when he heard Miss stop talking. He opened his eyes to see what was going on. Miss was just standing there, stiff as a statue. Her eyes were wide.

“Miss? Why’d you stop?” asked a puzzled Dominic. “Is something wrong?”

Miss pulled her hand back from Dominic’s forehead. She pointed her finger again, causing the electricity to build up once more.

“Dominic, you need to get out of here. Now.” directed Miss. “Just run and don’t stop. Don’t look back.”

“But why--” began Dominic as he curiously turned his head.

There was an army of men in gray suits, all wearing the same uniform. They were wielding strange weapons that looked somewhat like scepters, and they were coming towards Dominic and Miss.

“RUN!” cried Miss as she pushed Dominic away from the approaching army.

Dominic reluctantly began running away. He started sprinting as fast as he could.

I want to stay there and fight with her, but I know nothing about using PSI yet…drat.

Dominic glanced back once, and only once. He saw Miss call down a giant bolt of lightning from the sky. It was an impressive sight, and it fried at least ten of the men. Dominic prayed that Miss would be alright.

Dominic suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Home! I have to take mom with me and get out of here!

Dominic turned to his right, coming onto his home’s street. When he came to his house, however, the front door was open. Dominic suddenly got a sick feeling as he came up to his home.

“Mom! We need to leave Blisston…right now!” yelled Dominic. He looked around the foyer, the kitchen, and the dining room, but saw her nowhere. “Where are you, mom?”

Dominic climbed the stairs to his room and opened his door. Dominic froze when he entered.

His mother was hung from the ceiling, dead.

“No…this can’t…no……mother!!!” cried Dominic as he burst into tears. He ran over to his lifeless mother and got her down from the ceiling. “Mom! Please, don’t go…mother…”

“Aww, poor baby needs his mommy.” cackled a voice from somewhere in the room.

Dominic opened his flooded eyes to see a tall man wearing dark sunglasses walk out of his closet.

“You must be the wretched boy we’re after.” sneered the man. “Seems like using your mother’s body was the perfect bait.” The man laughed.

“You…you bastard!” Dominic screamed. “I’ll kill you!”

Dominic, as if guided by something, thrusted his arms forward, forming his hands into the same pointing shape Miss made with her hand. A stream of fire let loose, igniting the man on fire.

I did it! I used PSI!

Even though he was enflamed, the man kept laughing.

“Well, well, well.” the man said as he shook his head. “Seems like you’ve started developing your powers earlier than we had expected… … no matter. You’re still far too weak to stop me.” The man grinned.

In what seemed like a blur to Dominic, the man waved his hand over his body and the fire disappeared; just like that.

My… attack was useless…not strong enough...

“Allow me to show you real psychic powers!” snickered the man.

The man held out only his pinky and pointed it at Dominic. A small, purple glow began emanating from his pinky. It quickly burst off of his pinky and rocketed straight for Dominic.

Dominic flinched as the glow reached him. However, when the glow contacted with him, he didn’t feel anything.

Did his attack fail? Was I lucky?

“Time for the fun part…” hysterically laughed the man.

The man snapped his fingers. The moment the snap occurred, Dominic felt a sharp, intense pain inside of him. The purple glow was electrifying Dominic from the inside out.

Too much pain… can’t…

Dominic collapsed onto the floor. He was beginning to black out. Just before he fully passed out, however, he heard several footsteps come near. Dominic then heard bits of a conversation.

“Sir, shall we take him to the transport?”

“Yes, make sure you---se---he--ight---uard.”


Dominic felt himself being picked up off the ground.

“We---inally---ave---one of----e---chos-n----nes…”


Dominic lost consciousness......



To be continued…


Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:54 pm
Profile WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
Joey D wrote:
Dominic climbed the stairs to his room and opened his door. Dominic froze when he entered.

His mother was hung from the ceiling, dead.

WHYY?! I was getting along with her mother and you just... make her commit suicide?! Or this horrible man just killed her and hung her off the ceiling to make it look like she killed herself? Either way... it's terrible... but terrific at the same time!

This was one action-packed chapter... and this mysterious individual turns out to be a woman? Wow, I didn't expect anything like it, you got me this time!

I cannot wait for the next addition! Come up with next part as soon as you can, for this is getting interesting!



"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:59 pm
Gym Leader
Gym Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:33 pm
Posts: 1578
Location: Wisconsin
+Author’s Notes+
At long last, chapter 5! This one was rather difficult for me to get up, but it’s finally here. Enjoy!

[Ch.5: A Distant and Unknown Friend]

Dominic awoke with a shock, jolting his head up from the rigid bed he was on. His eyesight was blurry, but as he blinked everything became clearer. He was in a room with little space; the walls were solid concrete and painted a dull gray. The only things in the room were a toilet, the bed he was on, and himself. There was no visible door, nor any window or opening of any sort.

Wha--where am I?? …Am I in some sort of prison?

Dominic tried to get up out of the bed, but his body wailed in pain. He automatically recoiled back onto the mattress with a resounding thud. His eyes stared up to a somewhat dim light fixture protruding from the wall very high up. The ceiling itself wasn’t even visible.

“What happened to me…” muttered Dominic softly to himself. He began racing through his mind, trying to remember what happened prior to being in this cell-like room. Soon, he remembered what all had transpired: the men enclosing in on him and Miss, seeing his mother dead at home, and being crushed by an intense blow.

Dominic broke into tears when he thought of his mother hanging in his room, wondering what had caused it. He didn’t want to believe it was suicide; he just couldn’t. The way the man in the room spoke told Dominic otherwise.

“I--this isn’t the time for that right now…” cried Dominic as he wiped away his tears. “I have to figure out how to get out of here…”

Dominic felt his hands around the walls. They were all perfectly smooth; no visible indents, marks, or holes of any kind. He tapped multiple spots, hoping to hear any hollow sounds indicating space behind the wall. He heard only the solid thuds of his fist against the concrete.

Wait… maybe my PSI can help me! But all I know is the one that makes fire… I’m not sure if that’ll help me… might as well try.

As he took a few steps back, Dominic thrust his hands forward and concentrated on his hands. Quickly, small bursts of fire shot out, hitting the wall. The fires didn’t seem to faze the walls at all, however. There wasn’t even a burn mark upon it.

Letting out a desperate breath, Dominic let himself fall onto the bed. He began crying again.

“There must be no way out of here from the inside.” blubbered Dominic. “I guess… I guess I’ll be stuck here until those people that captured me come for me or something…”

It’s no use to think otherwise… I’m done for…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, in the distant town of Fiven…

A girl was relentlessly tossing and turning in her bed, thrashing her blankets about. She was having an intense dream, and a very specific one at that. The dream was about a young man wearing a purple cap who was trapped in a prison somewhere far away. Slowly, the view faded out from the boy and to the outside of the building, giving a complete view of it. It was rectangular structure, gray in color. It had one big sign across the top, reading: “GenTech Inc.”

Suddenly, the girl found herself awake, in her room. She looked up to see her parents with worried expression on their faces.

“Were you having dreams again, honey?” asked her mother.

“Yes mom…” replied the girl softly.

“Was it about that same boy again? The one with the purple cap?” spoke her father.

“It was, only--” said the girl, pausing a moment. “--he was in trouble. He was trapped in someplace called… oh… what was it… think…”

“Baby-kins, please don’t think about it right now.” begged her mother. “You need a good night’s sleep for once.”

“But I can‘t stop thinking about it!” cried out the girl. “I must be having these dreams for a reason! Maybe I’m the one who‘s supposed to--”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, young lady!” yelled her mother as she broke into tears and ran out of the room, closing the door behind her. The girl’s father came closer to his daughter.

“Please forgive your mother, sweetie…” began her father. “She’s very worried about you. First you started exhibiting strange powers, and now you’re having these descriptive dreams. We have been thinking about it and we’ve come to the conclusion that somehow, in some way, you’re supposed to be involved in something bigger that includes the boy in your dreams.”

“It’s been difficult for us to fully believe ourselves, but your dreams seem to be real.” said her father as he pulled out today’s newspaper. He unfolded it and showed her the headlines. It read “City of Blisston Lies in Ruins After Mysterious Catastrophe”.

“That’s the town the boy was from!” said the girl as her eyes grew big. “Something did happen there!”

“Indeed something did… but currently no one knows what happened. There are no traces of any of the residents… none.” grimly spoke her father. “And since you said the boy was imprisoned somewhere, my guess is that somebody came for him and destroyed the city to find him.”

The girl began to tear up.

“Daddy…” murmured the girl. “…you and mom think I’m the one who’s going to find the boy too?”

“Yes pumpkin…” softly whispered her dad. “That’s why it’s so painful for us to think about you leaving on your own to encounter some force that will destroy an entire city just to find one boy… but we must continue this tomorrow. It’s really late, and you’re going to need sleep if you are indeed going to embark on a journey.”

The girl’s father stood up and began walking towards the door. Just before he exited he turned around.

“We love you Claire… good night.”

“Good night dad…” replied Claire as she slowly fell back asleep.


<Closing Comments>
Upon looking back at this chapter, this was really difficult to write up. I had to get a lot acclomplished in the chapter... if I had left some things out, some things just wouldn't make sense in the future. If I had put in too much information and detail, it would've bogged down immensely... bleh.

Anyhow, could this Claire girl be a new heroine for the story? Will she really set out on her own to rescue Dominic, whom she's never met in person? Only next chapter has the answers, and that isn't written yet!


Mon May 05, 2008 8:37 pm
Profile WWW
Pokemon Ranger
Pokemon Ranger
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:12 am
Posts: 510
Location: Where you MOST expect it.
^Will you stop asking questions in your Closing Comment? It's frustrating that only YOU know the answers! D:

Anyways, breesing through this last installment was rather easy, as it was kind of simplistic in a way or another, and I DO think that Claire is eventually going to take on something bigger than what she thought first, but how in the world is she going to save Dominic? I have no idea.

As always, I'll be waiting expectantly last addition and let us see how does this evol organisation turns out.



"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Tue May 06, 2008 3:34 pm
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 8 posts ] 

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.