Oh How Things Change
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Author:  DatVu [ Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

Hey now. There's no reason to be sarcastic.

Author:  Steel_Eel [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

It's not sarcasm it's the truth :)

Author:  dark_charizard15 [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

weeell it's been 3 whole years since i moved from living with my dad in germany to go live with my mom in the US. Back in germany i had my friends and to anybody else i was kinda shy (especially to the girls) but it was alright since i already had my friends. but when i left to live in the was just hard. i had no friends. you could say that i had to change who i am. instead of that shy person i was, now im the kinda guy that can talk to anybody. now i have some great friends here and back in germany(:. and of course my girlfriend (that i went to and start flirting with). well yea thats my story ha.

Author:  Dan Roswald [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

@dark_charizard15 -- I'm glad you've made friends here and even found yourself a girlfriend. :D How long have you been seeing her?

Author:  Inta Xonem [ Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

I've become a lot more self-concious, a lot more vain, but alongside this, I've become a lot more self-confident. I've come out to pretty much everybody close to me, except for my younger sisters, and that has had a massive impact on me - I feel free to actually be myself now. I don't have to pretend I'm attracted to women, at all, and I can make those awkward gay jokes I've always wanted to make.

Less recently, but within two years, I came completely to terms with my sexuality, in regards to my religion. This may seem minor, but I was hating myself for it, trying to change myself somewhat, for three years, before I did more religious exploration, and spoke to god (believe or not, I feel I did), and accepted that I could actually be both gay and christian. More recently, I had my first proper relationship, which ended awfully. But even though it messed me up, it helped me feel normal; not having a relationship had always made me feel different, abnormal, with my sexuality. Knowing I've had the experience made me more comfortable with myself, and although I want another relationship, I honestly don't feel uncomfortable on my own anymore.

I've been making steps towards getting out more, and my life has been revolving more around my real life, than just my internet social contact. This has had positive and negetive effects.

I only really started talking to my now best friend, who anyone who remembers him from here (where I innitially met him, although he left long before I started really talking to him), he went by the name of Vulpine and Rapidash, and we've got particularly close over the past two years ago, and most of my current close internet friends I've only really started to talk to much over the past two years, although I'm back in touch with a bunch of friends I thought I'd as good as lost again now.

I stopped using the internet as a support system - it was an amazing one, it probably saved my life, but I don't need it anymore. I love this site, and the other sites I use, and I probably wont grow apart from them for as long as long as they stay on the internet, but I don't rely on them anymore.

I've gained my love for music over the past two years, and I've gone from not exploring my interest in music other than christian music to a determination to become a singer - I love singing, and always have, and I've been spending the majority of my time now to focusing on this goal. Its only the past six months I've really decided I'm going to go for this, and I've been exploring the styles of music I feel I could do. I'm now planning on teaching myself guitar, learning to play the drums, and to electronically create music with synths etc. In this decision, I've also begun to make other decisions, I am reconsidering university - I always thought I had to go, almost as an obligation, but now I don't really know if I want to go at all.

I also have had a lot of mental struggles over the past two years though, and I'm going to see a councillor regularly, to identify whether or not I have either Bipolar Disorder or a similar illness. I had to insist to my parents, on two occasions, to get me to a doctor about this, and I somewhat self-diagnosed, but some of the things I've been through, relating to this, have been horrible - I got so happy on one occasion, I wanted to kill myself to make it stop. No one really understands this, but it was a combination of over-excited and wreckless, and it happened in a war memorial. I collapsed following this, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life, if not the worst.

and well done Dan for getting this far, and good look with the hormones/surgery etc. Its got to take balls to put yourself through that, and I'm glad you've got people around you who are accepting ^^ You look more comfortable as a guy, and although I couldn't speak for everyone, you look more attractive now :p

and shinashu, I came out to my parents recently, who are also christian, but somewhat accepting. As long as you don't think they'll do something drastic like kick you out, you should go for it, because they'll get used to it eventually, and if they need time to get used to it, you should give it to them as soon possible, I think. My dad was completely fine with it, and although my mum isn't actually completely there yet, shes respectful about it. Coming out to your parents is much harder than telling friends though, I think, emotionally. I was completely out of it for an hour after telling both, because it felt so unreal, and I regretted it for a while afterwards with each, but I'm glad I've done it now.

Author:  Dan Roswald [ Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

@Inta Xonem -- I'm glad you got things settled about your beliefs. I never really went through that phase, probably because my family doesn't go to church and I have really bad feelings when sitting in church. I do feel like I have a good relationship with god though and I know there's a reason for all of this one way or another. We just have to take our time and adjust to be the people we were meant to be. :)

I'm also glad you're seeing a doctor. I asked my parents to take me before I came out to them, but I had to tell them because they weren't having any luck finding a doc that was taking new patients. I still see her, every other week for an hour and a half. If nothing else, she's nice to chat and play games with.

And music is a good thing to have. Music makes me people feel better when they're depressed. It's a good way to calm down. :)

Also, thank you~ I try. :P I need some facial hair or at least a 5 o'clock shadow or something!

Author:  Registeel_Rocks [ Thu Aug 12, 2010 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

I feel like I've become angrier and more stressed out. Sure I've enjoyed living on my own plenty, but so many unfortunate circumstances have occoured since I got my own apartment that I think I've taken a turn for the worse.

I've put numerous holes in my apartment walls, shattered my bathroom mirror, broken some expensive electronics, and done some self-inflicted damage (nothing serious like cutting; mainly just bashing my head against the wall). I've seeked my brother's advice before, and I agree with his view that I seem to bottle up all my anger and stress, then release extreme outlashes whenever I get angry and/or stressed out, even for minor events. For example, I spilled a glass of water over a bunch of papers (nothing important, just some gaming notes), and I flipped out. In my rage I took off my glasses and threw them at the wall, severely bending them and popping out one of the lenses. That made me even more mad, which is when I shoved my foot through the wall. After I made that hole, I grabbed a broom and shoved the handle through another wall, creating another hole. This sent me into maximum fury, at which point I ran up to my bathroom mirror, looked at my reflection, and smashed it with my fist.

Thankfully I received only minor cuts, but this is a prime example of how I think I've changed for the worse. I fear that if this continues, bad things will happen to my life. Will a small moment cause me to strike someone I love in rage? What if I lost control and hit my nephew? Or my sister? What if I finally got a girlfriend, but my anger causes her to leave or even worse, get hurt?

I am concerned about the "new me", but my current temp job stresses me out so much and takes up most of my time that I have no time to address this problem.

Author:  rex09 [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 11:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

@R_R: jeez, that sounds rough. i don't really know of anything that could help, but whenever i get really mad, usually i just take a few deep breaths, leave the room, and go work out. maybe you should get a punching bag or something. perhaps try to find something non-violent to do with your free time. play an instrument (drums work well), or draw something, you know?? hopefully this helps!!

How things have changed for me:
Last December, i moved away from all my friends, just when i was starting to really make some good ones, and when i felt confident. these days, i feel as though i'm more socially awkward, and less confident about myself every day. Part of it is a lack of activities to do here; the other part is a lack of intereaction with other people outside my family (this site, while helping to relieve some boredom, has not fulfilled that role). one of my friends moved two states away, and by january, i'll have a driver's license, so i'm hoping to see her some time in the next year. but i'm kinda afraid that when i do see her, i'll have changed to the point that she won't even want to be around me anymore. and school sucks..... i can't really seem to find my niche in the latest school i've been to... it's just kinda, lonely sometimes. and my brother's a senior this year, so what'll happen when he moves (we're pretty close)?? i love my parents, but they can't be the extent of my social interactions until freakin' college.... so yeah. friends to being lonely in just seven months.....

Author:  dark_charizard15 [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 2:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

Dan Roswald wrote:
@dark_charizard15 -- I'm glad you've made friends here and even found yourself a girlfriend. :D How long have you been seeing her?

5 months. going strong. ha

Author:  DarkTrainer13 [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

Well, there's plenty of difference between this year and the past year. I'm also used to be shy and closed, but now however, i have self-confidence on myself. I am also used to be some kind of a nerd, but i have became more social now. And i am not a nerd anymore, i am kinda cool right now. I have moved 2 months ago to a different city where i don't have any friend yet. In the past year, i wasn't really popular in my class nor my school. But now i have became pretty popular in my class and my school. Both because of my ranks and my looks. And in my new school, there's plenty of them who have the same hobby as myself, such as PSP, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon.

Guess like that's all of my changes this past year.

Author:  Dan Roswald [ Sat Aug 14, 2010 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Oh How Things Change

dark_charizard15 wrote:
Dan Roswald wrote:
@dark_charizard15 -- I'm glad you've made friends here and even found yourself a girlfriend. :D How long have you been seeing her?

5 months. going strong. ha

Nice. :) Been seeing my gf for 20 months as of yesterday. :P

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