hey guys i got a prob. everyday this kid will say to me like hey fat ass or stuff like that (i weigh 195) age 14 and 6 foot 1 so i really dont look it.but back to the prob. he will call me that and i just say hey hows it going.but he threw something at me some i just exploded everywhere i got into his seat and slamed his head against the window (not using my full force) and punched him in the left and right cheek a few times. would this be counted as self defense?this has been going on for atleast a month and i took it until then.THANKS

Yes, that's assault, not self-defense.

step 1: try to passively get "responsible" adults to notice him bullying.
step 2: If that fails, tell an adult. If they tell you to "Suck it up" or "Deal with it" then...
step 3: Don't respond with anything at all. Completely ignore the bully. Contrary to what adults may think, this inflames their "bullying" nature, and they tend to do more rash or violent actions which leads to...
step 4: When you have done steps 1 through 3, and nothing has happened in terms of him stopping or treating you better, wait. sit there, let his mocking boil you up. let him throw things around. AND EXPLODE. show him that he's an idiot who needs to find a better way to release his inner conflicts.

I'd say it's self defense. But maybe cause i had the same problem when i was younger.

Just remember. Violence is the course of action when your eyes cloud over, your fists clench, and your head feels light.

Never any time else. Tell a teacher first. IF they tell you to "deal with it," then do so.

We have a winner. So, to answer your question, yes, you can get in trouble.

Fighting should only be a last resort but there are definitely people who won't listen to reason and require force. It's up to you to exercise enough judgment for when that is though. Remember, anger or not, think before you act.

This is the same as asking the question:

Somebody tried to beat me up, so I shot him. Will I get it trouble?

(No offence)

Actually Beav, that is self-defense - he tried beating you, you considered your life was worth saving. You were puny compared to him, you had no choice but stabbing or shooting. I personally like Texas Law, and fel that it should be spread throughout the world - guns can be owned by everyone, and be used for a just cause - stopping a robbery, protecting your own, etc.



gottacatchemall2 - it depends on where you live. If you are in Europe, forget about it - you are guilty. If you are in the northeast of the US, you'll fare slightly better. I personally believe that you should explain of the the psychological abuse and harrasment. Not for anything, what he was doing could in fact, reveal something else - a psychopath, and be commited to an institution. Mention how upset he got you, and how you just got tired of his abuse. Mention how he almost drove you to cutting / anorexia / bullemia / suicide / drugs / etc.

Look, this is the only thing that works where I live. If someone's bothering you, you need to get violent and aggressive, and wait for him either to say sorry, or to get angry, after he gets angry....kick his ass. but that's how it works here, so maybe you should try a different approach seeing as america is(no offence) one of the cissiest countries on earth. *innocence* "I jus' tell it like it is..."

This topic reminded me of the Toronto Sun's front page story today:

http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2009/02/07/8299866-sun.html

Not entirely the same since you had no weapons, but it shows the consequences of going past your breaking point.

sigh... I hate bullies.

teachers do nothing effective to stop bullying, and so it is up to the victim to "hit back", and protect himself.

It's like Isaac Asimov's First Law of Robotics dilemma, should robots intervene to stop only physical, or should they be given powers/allowed to interfere when psychological damage is ineivitable.

Yes, you can, and probably WILL get in trouble for beating up a bully.
Which is the stupidest thing ever.

Which is why my method works. (I did that in like, 4th-5th grade to get back at a bully. This is after I got in trouble for chasing and kicking this hysterically laughing kid who was cheating when the teachers said "don't come to us using the 'c-word'")

The idea is to get witneses to you being bullied. restrain all retaliation.
Things to do to get rid of bullies:

1.
Calmly politely tell them to stop. Do not snap or get touchy. Be completely inoffensive. Store the anger in the depths of your gut.

2.
Tell a teacher. Do not cry or sniffle. Simply walk up and say, "Hey, yesterday <insert name here> beat me up. Just thought you'd like to know."

3.
talk to the bully. Not "I wanna be your friend," but more like when you're getting beat up, laugh through your pain. Goad the bully. Transfer your anger and pain into mirth.

4.
If none of the above solve your problem, run. Do not get rooted to the spot out of fear. More specifically, run toward an adult, and when you get closer, walk.
If they shout after you, the adult is likely to hear. If they chase after you, the adult is likely to see. And if that adult has any moral value at all, he/she will deal appropriately with the situation. If what the teacher does is not enough or inflames the bully even more, (i.e a "talk" as opposed to a suspension), and the bully comes back, then you have, in my opinon, justifiable reason to retaliate physically. But when you do, wait until you can no longer hold it in, and unleash. Do not use real or fake weapons. Be practical. If you're being beat up, look around and see if there is anything you can use, like a stick, or a backpack. Do not waste them. If you knock them down, or they back off, let them be. But if they retaliate, fight til they stop.

America is terrible in the ways of dealing with bullies. Teachers don't care, and the government has "better things to control".

Just remember, if you retaliate violently, be prepared to explain yourself. Use names of witnesses who saw you before you fought back. Be calm, do not cry, be serious, do not laugh, do not be victorious, be emotionless.

Most importantly, do not do as that poor boy did in the Sun article.

lordketchup is right, teachers don't care about bullies. They hold bug assemblies at my school telling us not to be bullies, and to tell an adult, but when you do, they say:

"Are you tattling on someone?"

look who's talking *rolls eyes* , I remember you telling me about a certain incident in your schools bathroom once.

u guys really dont get it (no offense thanks for the helo already posted but) he dosent hit me i am bigger than him but he throws things i think to try to get me to punch but i dont know if he just wants a chance to fight me (he hasnt fought back) or to tell on me i dont know.

when someone tries to REALLY beat you up, like with my case, then fighting back is okay.

So he's an annoyance.
An annoyance is much different from a bully.
While ignoring an annoyance does lead to an increase in the annoying behavior, it rarely escalates to their physical harming of you.

For an annoyance I suggest ignoring him. sure he may throw some things at you, but who cares? Certainly not you.

Unfortunately, teachers do even less to control annoyances than bullies, so telling won't help as much, though it wouldn't hurt to try.

Just ignore. If he's an annoyance, not really a bully, then he'll first get even more annoying, but eventually subside.

He's just trying to get attention and provoke you. so don't give him either, and he will eventually lose interest.

In this case, violence is not the answer, specially since you're bigger.

You could be like, "Yea, that's right, i'm fat. You got a problem with that?" or laugh at yourself, at his jokes at you. You could even be 'awkward', and laugh really hard and long at something he says about you being like "HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS SOOO FUNNY!!!!! I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY!" That'll either weird him out, or you will become good friends.

So yea. don't worry bout it! Make friends with other kids, work out a bit, be a good guy!

I had one of them once, two fat 8th graders. I was this close to punching his face in once, after that, he just looks away when I'm around.

I don't think you understand lordketchup, HE threw the first punch. I landed a knee in the pain spot.

HE wanted to fight me.

He was one of those people who think they can beat anyone.

Well, he ain't now.

Actually laughing at the jokes he makes isn't a good idea. The other person will just think you are taking it as a joke when really it's an insult and the bully won't stop because he will just think you are thinking it is funny.

But taking them as insults only encourages bullies.

Trust me on that. ;(

it depends on the bully.
If it's an accidental bullying, you need to talk to the person
If it's a real bullying, the best optionj are laughing back or simply ignoring.
This worked for me all the times I was bullied

Beav, I meant for gottacatchemall

And pokemaniac, I disagree. By faking yourself, you shield from other insults, because you know they'd be false.

Also, if you make it just plain awkward for the bully to make fun of you, he'll stop.

It's much different than ignoring. It's indirectly saying "I could care less what you do to me" Directly saying that would be stupid.

If you take the comments as insults, it will encourage the bully 100%.

Sure you can get in trouble, but I choked some kid when I was p.o'ed once and I didn't get in trouble because I was a good student and nice (to everyone but him.) If you are a good student they may let you off with a warning, but if you are a bully like him, then they probably will take action. If you asked some sort of law enforcment, they would say it's assault, but it really shouldn't matter. If you're having trouble with a bully, talk to your counseler. There is a difference between tattling and telling, you know.

^
Winnah.
Y'know, violence is never the answer really, and I do understand the situation. If he was continually bullying you over a prolonged amount of time, and if it was really bugging you, then talk to someone. It really helps with your problems, trust me

~ Chingling ~